Everyone else but me

Work work work and more work

2012-02-01T12:22:00.001Z

My dear readers, I am swamped with work and so don't get much time to blog. I do read you though from my phone! Please activate the function of mobile format, it's soooo much easier to see!

In bullet points here are the latest:

Oliver has settled nicely back into the new wobbler room in the crèche which is great. He has learnt this very cute "Oh-oh" sound which he makes anytime something falls! He's almost exclusively on organic cow's milk (though we still add some organic formula to the night bottle) and loves it.
He's learning to self-feed and you can imagine it's quite messy at dinner time.
Sleep is good, we realised that if he was waking up at night and couldn't find his soother, he would not settle and we had to go in, find the soother for him, hope he hadn't waken up too much and that he would go back to sleep. This may happen even 4 times a night. It is tough to get to work with such a disrupted sleep. So we foun a solution! We are now putting him to bed with his soother plus two more in the bed and you should see his happiness! One afternoon I saw him seeping with one soother in his mouth and one in each hand! Anyway this has been a life saver for us.
We had some sort of a virus just one week after going back to the crèche and of course we all got it. This delayed a bit Oliver's 12 month jab but thankfully he had no problems at all this time.
We think it won't be long till he's walking! Stay tuned!

Some pics

2012-01-16T08:47:00.003Z

I finally managed to download the latest pics from Mike's camera. Unfortunately we have none of his first birthday cake and his first haircut! Bohooo!! You'd wonder why that is...well, we do have video-clips but no pics. I'll have to look at how to get single shots out of the camcorder.

Some updates first. Oliver got another upper tooth and a fourth one is almost through! He has moved to the Wobbler room in the crèche and loves it, the new carers are lovely and he was rejoined with a couple of children who were for a while with him in the baby room. And of course Cian is with him too! Our first week back was...tiring as expected but thankfully Oliver is back to a good sleeping routine which is great. We decided to split the nights if he wakes up. One night I get up all the time and the next one Mike does it, otherwise if we both get up we are both really tired the next day and there's no point.

On a very sad note, I only found out at the weekend that Megan, a cyber-friend I followed lost her battle to cancer last November. I was so saddened by the news, she leaves behind her husband and their lovely triplets conceived via FET when her cancer was in remission 2 years ago. The news was posted in Lost and Found but I had missed it. She was inspirational with her approach to life and she fully enjoyed it despite the disease and was not afraid to die. My thoughts and prayers to her family.

Christmas Eve with my grandmother and my sister

Family pic

First taste of chocolate!

Trying on mamma's skiing helmet. Next year darling!

With my parents on the skiing trip, it was his birthday!

Hello hello hello!

2012-01-07T22:26:00.000Z

We are back! I can't believe I have not been posting for so long!
First of all, happy 2012 to you all and may this year bring peace and joy, we sure need both.

We had a lovely Christmas with my parents, and skiing went great too. As always going away messes up Oliver's sleep, and I actually think we got 2 nights only of full sleep in the whole holiday...but of course we got a lot of help too so it was ok. I will post some pics soon (sooner than the attic ones I promise!)

Let's see what happened.

We opened Oliver's presents on Christmas Eve before he went to bed. He got a lovely wooden stacking ring toy (with wheels!) from my sister and he never gets tired of it. He quickly learnt to stack the rings on the pin and he's so proud of himself any time he manages! Mike got for him a pj with the colours of his county team (black and amber, so he'll be like a bee!) and he got me a jersey too which is super. I was so happy with myself for the present I got him (an hour on a flight simulator at the airport) and he loved it. I got Oliver a soft music box and a walker for his birthday. As always we got way too much, every year we say we'll only get one present each and we never do....maybe next year...

Oliver got 2 teeth on the 31st of December!! Just one day shy of his first birthday! Wohoo! We noticed both of them in the afternoon and they are the front upper ones so he's really cute! And 2 more are almost out (still upper side...he'll be very funny looking if the bottom ones are taking their time ahah). We had no fever or dirty nappies and not much drooling wither, what we had was poor sleep and a cough (still!).

He can easily wave "bye-bye" and "ciao ciao" (he knows they mean the same!) but the only word he can clearly pronounce so far is "aaaahhhhmmmm" when he's hungry....every now and then he seems to say "grazie" ("thank you") when you give him something. We started it as part of a game; he is very good at putting things in your hand and depending who is playing we say either "grazie" or "thank you" so he must have learnt. He is extremely affectionate and loves hugs, kisses and cuddles (must be the Italian genes!), sometimes he would stop playing to come to you and give you a hug (heart melting every time).

He's eating absolutely everything now (bar nuts which we have not given to him yet) and it's great to be able to order what we would normally have at a restaurant and he'll share your food. He's almost off the formula and on cow's milk with no issue whatsoever. We started the transition just after his birthday and it went very well.

He wants to stand up all the time and he's getting very strong on his legs, it won't be long before he walks on his own I think.

We cut his hair a few days ago and he looks like a little boy now and not any more like a baby, he's adorable!

His birthday celebration was lovely, we were still up in the Alps and the hotel chef made him a cake with a candle! Of course it didn't mean much to him, but I was so so emotional thinking at where I was just a year before...time has absolutely flown by and I have to say I'm enjoying it more now than at the beginning, I suppose it's normal.

And then we flew back and he was so happy to be at home in his bed with his toys...slept brilliantly last night. On monday we start back in work and at the crèche, let's hope it's not going to be too difficult settling back in a routine.

I did read as much as I could while I was away but commenting was scarce unfortunately, I'll get back to it right now! I really look forward to sharing with you another year.

Love, to all.

Dear Santa...I can explain!

2011-12-17T15:54:00.000Z

Only a few more days and we are off for our Christmas holidays! We are going to Italy, spend Christmas with my family and then we are all going skiing. I. Can't. Wait.

Oliver was back to full form and we brought him back to the crèche on monday. He had to settle back in, I suppose in an almost one year old, a full week out of the day care is a big part of his life! But he was fine, really. We found out on monday that they were organising a Christmas party for the children on thursday. One thing was Oliver had to wear a red outfit. Of course we had none in the house. On wedensday I miraculously found two Christmassy long sleeved vests. One white with red profiles and the other one the other way around. I also found in a bag given to us from a colleague a pair of red trousers and we were in business. Here a few shots of the party!

The babies from two rooms were together

This is Cian, Oliver's best friend (they are only 2 days apart) and partner in crime!

I thought the writing on the vest was so so cute!

All in all we had a great time.

In work we are in the mist of exams, panicking students, corrections etc. But as of three minutes ago I have finished all my correcting. Whohoo for me! Mike on the other hand...knee deep in correcting. Ah well..

I also had my group Christmas lunch which went well. Despite me not being in work full time for almost 8 months we had a lot to celebrate research-wise and so we did. To many more productive years.

How are getting on with Christmas presents? Somehow I'm doing remarkably well. Mike is sorted out and so are his nephews whom we'll see tomorrow. I know what I'm getting for my sister and parents too. The only one I don't know what to get is Oliver!! One part of me says "Jeez is not even one and has all he needs" but the other part says "What mother am I not getting him anything for Christmas? And don't forget it's his birthday in two weeks!". Suggestions?

It was no chickenpox

2011-12-08T14:53:00.001Z

We had some week. Remember I said Oliver was sent home from the crèche as they suspected he had chickepox? Well, I wasn't so sure it was as the little spots were very few and only on his legs (just a couple on is arms) and didn't really develop and weren't itchy either. But Oliver was miserable. By the time I came home from the trip to Spain he was waking up every couple of hours and crying in his sleep. On sunday he had spiked a fever which came down with ibuprofen but then on monday he had stopped eating and drinking. The spots had already crusted over by then and I was really worried he was dehydrated. We called our doctor and went in right away. He still had a temperature when we got there and she was concerned about his cough as his chest didn't sound right. She looked at the spots, eliminated chickenpox almost immediately, but the combination of these spots, plus the fever and now lack of appetite and cough was a first class ticked to the pead A&E. Off we went we our precious cargo to the hospital. He looked so so small in the normal size bed and was really tired so the paed had no problem in checking him out.

She confirmed the chest sounded a bit crackly and sent us for X-ray. Thankfully the chest x-ray was not particularly concerning and she was happy to send us home with oral antibiotic. While there we were able to feed him a bottle and some pureed veg, and liked the antibiotic.

On tuesday he seemed a bit better, but still very tired and eating and drinking a little more (remember that this child is voracious when he's well, so it's a huge difference!). Night-time was still a struggle and Mike and I had agreed some sort of shifts depending on who was staying at home in the morning and who was going to work. Then yesterday morning I really didn't think he had improved much, plus the antibiotic are upsetting his tummy so the fear of dehydration had not really gone away. I called the doctor and he said it was probably that he had to replenish his fluids, to try and push them on him and he should get better quickly. Certainly the fever was gone and the appetite was slowly coming back. Yesterday afternoon he slept 3 hours very peacefully (not waking up crying or coughing) and last night he slept 14 hours! This morning he was back to be a happy curious little boy and he's in much better form. I still think he's not peeing much but at least he's not vomiting anymore (the cough would get him to bring up anything he had just eaten or drunk), so I'm hopeful he's on the road to recovery!

The Barcelona pickpoketing business and The kindness of strangers

2011-12-04T21:07:00.001Z

Since my last post a lot has happened.

I think I had probably just hit the "publish" button when I got a call from the crèche as they suspected Oliver had chicken pox! So off I went and surely he had a few spots on his legs (usually it starts on the trunk but I've read it can be anywhere really) and feet. He was quite in bad form and a off his food (very very unusual). Anyway, as sorry as I felt I still had to pack to go to this meeting in Barcelona on friday. Left very very early and arrived around 10am in Barcelona. Between the train station at the terminal and the central station my wallet disappeared. WTF?? And I've travelled a good bit, I am very aware of my belongings and yet...I don't even know when it exactly happened. Thinking about it, it was probably on the train (which was packed) and a couple asked me some questions as we were about to get off the train. Apparently it's a classic scam.
Thankfully I had my passport and other much more valuable items separate (iphone, ipad, mp3) so I was pissed of course but it could have been worse. But it wasn't easy to get help. Now remember, I was on my own, not a cent in my pocket and not speaking the language (granted italian and spanish are similar but not enough to help you when in distress). I told a security guard at the station what happened (in english), he shook his head and said "police". Right. I know what "police" means, I don't know where "police" is. There was a police car outside the station, after a while I finally spotted the policemen talking to some people. I explained in english what happened and they said "police station". Are you kidding me? I'm a foreigner, with a suitcase, where the fuck is your police station? Point me in the right direction given that I have no money, cannot take a taxi or a bus or the subway! He pointed down a road, and said "15 minutes". Thanks. I found the police station and the experience there was surreal. It was like a window in hall of an anonymous building. Behind the window there was a policeman at a computer. After about 5 minutes of me standing there he lifted his head and said something which prompted me to start explaining what happened. He stopped me immediately and called a girl who was sitting at a desk inside this office reading a book. She was the interpreter. We were speaking english, she gave me the number to block my cards and those people on the phone (in Ireland) were like angels. Really sympathetic, explained I could in fact get emergency money through Western Union, they would arrange that for me as thankfully I had my passport, I could access the money within the hour and of course they also immediately reissued credit and debit cards. I filed a report on the theft. Note that all this took probably just about two hours as in between the phone call, getting the forms and returning the forms I had to wait for this girl who as soon as she gave me the number or form returned immediately to her book and never lifted her head. Every time she had to be called by the policeman (who was dealing with other people). Anyway, at this point I had the info to collect the money and done what I had to do from the police point of view (with the strong feeling that my report went straight to the trash can as there was no interest in really investigating it). I had no idea where a Western Union agency was. This girl wrote two addresses on a piece of paper and handed them to me. As if now I had a better idea. I asked her where these two addresses were and she reluctantly started saying they were very far... right. How the hell do I get there? She started saying I should get a taxi or the subway. Ok. Once again, I have no way of taking any transport, would there be any chance of a unit going out to that general direction and could give me a lift? She said no. Ok. I asked would she have any suggestion of how a foreigner in this situation could find a way to get to this place? She must have took offence as she said "I gave you the forms and address, that's it" and left. Honestly she fecked off. To her book. The policeman 20cm away never once looked up at me. I was shocked. I was left with no way to communicate in the very place that is supposed to help someone who has just been robbed! Shocking. I tried to get the attention of the policeman, who just said in Spanish "I don't understand you". Great. Another policeman came to the window and asked with a bit of english what was the problem. I explained about the interpreter and how furious I was at her behaviour. Apparently your one said I had offended her and she refused to talked to me. I thought "this must be a joke". But sadly it wasn't. In the end, I filed a complaint report against the interpreter (which must have joined the first one on the theft, in the trash can) and miraculously two italians were at the same police station reporting something of their own. I was so desperate at that point I asked them if they could help me communicate with the police (they were both living in Barcelona and fluent in spanish). They were so nice, and must have known the system a bit as they convinced me to just let it go that they would help me. They called me a taxi and gave me money to pay it. I was in tears I was so grateful. They happened to be from Naples and had a pizzeria not too far from the police station. I went there for dinner and returned the money. Pizza was fantastic too.
Needless to say, my 30 hours in Barcelona for the work meeting ended up quite a mess (was obviously late to the meeting etc) but my heart melted at the kindness of these two strangers.

Eleven

2011-12-01T10:47:00.001Z

My baby is eleven month old today! Still no teeth! He is now pulling himself to standing on anything that seems stable enough, crawling better on all four and almost no commando style. He has a friend in the crèche from whom he's picking up a lot of funny expressions! He has a very cute way of wrinkling his nose now when he's very happy about something and making a peculiar breathing sound. He started clucking a couple of days ago, still loves the bath and he's sleeping very well through the night (though he's started complaining when put down to bed). No words yet as such, but making lots of cute sounds and exploring new syllables. He's also very affectionate, laughs a lot (specially if tickled!) and when at home Carlito is his best friend. Below three of my favourite pics!

Call for stories on Ectopic Pregnancies

2011-11-21T12:10:00.001Z

Hi girls,

as some of you know, I have set up a new blog for Ectopic Pregnancy Ireland.

http://ectopicpregnancyireland.blogspot.com/

I have started a project where I'm featuring stories of ladies who have gone through the same. If you have the time, please have a look at it and if you or someone you know may want to participate, please share the word. While this was born as an Irish support group, we know the web is so powerful it can reach very remote areas of the Globe and we are already getting readers from the US as well as main Europe and even Africa! We are so so excited about it.

Please help us getting visibility, if you have been through an ectopic you know the feeling of loneliness. We want to make sure this will never be the case again. Anything you can do to talk about that blog will be greatly appreciated.

If you feel like writing your story for the project just follow the same format as the stories already reported and email it to me or to the official address and I'll let you know when they go live. If you have blogged about it I'll link your blog to the post and put it in our blogroll.

Thank you so much!

Where is the time going?

2011-11-16T16:42:00.001Z

Since I'm back in work it seems like my days are just piled up onto one another...I have been to London this past weekend, enjoying a fabulous spa in Covent Garden with my best friend from Italy. We have been meeting up once a year somewhere this since I moved to Ireland 10 years ago. Of course I see her when I go back home, but this is like our treat. Last year we went to the same spa and it was just before my hysteroscopy which preceded my FET and then pregnancy. So it was great to be back and we really enjoyed our trip. It was also my first time away from Oliver overnight but it went well. Next time it'll be in a couple of weeks as I have to fly to Barcelona for work. Again it'll be just one night.

I want to do a post soon on cloth diapers (CD) as my original choice (after researching it for ages) turned out not to be the best and so now I've moved to a different system. Hopefully this weekend I'll manage!

On the attic. That's going to be our guest room, so if you visit let me know!

Oliver is doing great, he gets himself up to standing and almost crawls properly (seems to prefer the commando style!) and he's great great fun and ever so adorable.

Finally there seems to have been a Dude's sighting from one of my neighbours...who knows, I'll keep you posted!

The Attic Project: Finally!!

2011-11-05T18:07:00.000Z

I know I know it took forever...Almost 11 months after moving out of the house and get the project going, I can finally post pics! Enjoy!

Before (Sept. 2010)

During (October-December 2010) We moved out into a temporary accommodation

We tiled the bathroom! I think it was more or less the Christmas weekend...

We move back in just before I got admitted to hospital on the 27th of December 2010! I actually didn't even get to sleep in the house. So there's a bit of a break before we can add the finishing touches...

And finally...here it is in all its glory!

Long weekend

2011-10-31T11:02:00.002Z

Today it's bankholiday here which meant we had a long weekend. Still no sign of the Dude unfortunately. We won't give up hope just yet.

Oliver is going to be 10 months tomorrow! He's been now in the crèche for one month and he absolutely loves it. Mike said that in the morning, when he realises he's in the crèche car-park, he can't get out of the car fast enough to start his fun day!

They celebrated Halloween last wednesday and we got Oliver this cute costume

He was a little shark!! You see, his surname is Shark.ey so it was highly appropriate. I can't wait to see the pics they took in the crèche of all the babies.

He has been coughing for quite some time now, a dry annoying cough. We had a few other things we wanted to ask also. So I booked him in with our lovely paedi. Mike brought him to the appointment on friday. Cough is probably now due to reflux (diaphragm was irritated by the initial cough due to the cold and needs to settle back) but chest is clear. He had two red patches near his willy which seemed to be quite itchy for him. It turns out he has a bit of a fungal infection so we got treatment for it and he's already much better. The paedi checked his hearing once again. He flicked his nails and Oliver turned around immediately. He really believes there's no issue at all. Finally he noticed a very light heart murmur, but nothing to worry about (and he's a cardio-paedi! so I'm really relaxed about it).

Finally, yesterday Oliver had his first tumble. He fell from a couch at our friends'...Mike was sitting beside him and I could see it was a potentially dangerous situation as Oliver was standing on his legs and reaching for toys at the side of the couch...I told Mike (who was chatting and not really paying attention) to hold Oliver by a leg as he could fall. I won't rant too much abut his attitude lately when I point something out to him, but let's just say he didn't take my advice.Sure enough within two minutes Oliver plunged head first towards the floor. I grabbed him by a leg and lessen the fall...anyway, a big fright and a few bruises on the head, but thank God nothing serious. I hope Mike will treasure this for the future, you cannot take your eyes off of him one second!

I have downloaded our finished attic pics so I'll do a special post soon!

Finally, I have started a new blog for Ectopic Pregnancy Ireland. I'd love to feature your experience if you have been touched by an ectopic and list your blog if you blogged about it (I know a few of you have and thanks so much for allowing me to list your blog), so have a look at the blog and let me know what you think. Of course the idea is to create a support network for everyone out there...I know when I had my two ectopics, there was hardly anything and news, info and blogs were scattered.

http://ectopicpregnancyireland.blogspot.com/

One week

2011-10-25T12:54:00.002+01:00

It's one week the Dude is missing. No sign of him, though the food I left outside the door was gone when I came home last nigh. Torrential rain my I add. Apparently it was the worse rainfall for the last 100 years. That tells you something. But the food was definitely eaten and not washed away.

Also the Dude doesn't have a collar with a tag, as he's an indoor cat (unless he runs away!) but he is microchipped, so if found they would know it belongs to someone. Now, I also know the Dude is not the type of cat that will go into someone else's house, it's either freedom or back to where he knows he's loved I'm sure.

Big hugs to you all and thanks for the good thoughts and support.

18 Months ago, The Dude...

2011-10-21T14:25:00.001+01:00

...run away at the age of almost 6 months trough the back french door that opens on the balcony.

Now, almost to the day, 18 months later he run away again. Through the front door. I really think the wild gene in him never left and I could see him always at the window or on the balcony as soon as I had the door open. But this time he run out when I opened the front door 3 days ago and went down the stairs. I put Oliver down and went after him straight away, I knew he as hiding in the bushes but refused to come out no matter how much bribing I was trying. When Mike came home he went looking for him again and no joy. He's not in the bushes any more. We have not seen him since.
The last time we found him (he didn't come back) 2 weeks later, very skinny and with an abscess on his back. This time I somehow don't think we'll find him unless he decides to come back. We are heading towards winter, it's cold and rainy. I just hope he is not going to get injured or sick. He's now much bigger (he's a huge cat) and stronger, but certainly not used to be outside.
So our original set of kitten is now gone. How very sad is that. We have the "replacement" cat with us, maybe that's the way it was always supposed to be, I don't know.

A book and a documentary

2011-10-15T16:55:00.000+01:00

Last Saturday I was shopping in a local shopping centre and in one of the book shops I saw a comedian I really like (he would certainly be part of the Secret Celebrity Boyfriend lot) who was signing his newly published book. I din't think about it twice and got myself a signed copy. Of course in my head I had all these possible things I was going to say...needless to say I barely said my name. Yes, I get starstruck a lot.
The book was written after a documentary which aired at the beginning of the year about his father being diagnosed with terminal cancer and how that changed the family dynamics for the better. I finished the book within a few days (I got the flu for the first time in years!) and today I watched the documentary which the comedian just posted on youtube. I have to say I was so so moved by the whole thing I now like him even more. Of course when all this was happening in real life, I just had Oliver and didn't have much time for the telly, but I do remember Mike saying one evening that Des Bishop had put up a show called "My Dad was nearly James Bond" and that his dad came out on stage at the end of it. I recommend you have a look at it, you won't be disappointed!

Settling (baby) and relaxing (mamma)

2011-10-08T14:30:00.002+01:00

We are at the end of the week. First week full time in the crèche and after the initial drama the care there has been fantastic. I got to know Wendy a bit more and she's a sweetheart with a very difficult situation at home, I really felt for her. On friday, I had another meeting with the manager. I really like her. Honest, upfront and hands-on. So she told me that a disciplinary action had been taken against both girls on duty on friday. I felt so so sorry for Wendy I tried my best to make sure she knew I thought she was great. And she did know, but could not ignore the infringement to the safety rules and we both hope Wendy will come out strong at the other and of the process. The second girl (Rebecca) was still on probation so her future in there is definitely less certain. The manager apologised on behalf of the girls and offered weekly meetings with me to make sure I had constant updates on how she was handling the situation. But honestly, I really think it was an unfortunate day on friday and I have no doubt Oliver is well cared for, so we left it that I will let her know immediately if I see something I'm unhappy with.

So we survived the first week of the new routine, I'm much happier and relaxed now!

Crèche update!

2011-10-04T08:46:00.005+01:00

You girls are gems. And so are all my cyber friends who emailed and commented on the various boards I posted on while panicking like never before....

I slept very little and ate even less over the weekend, worrying sick about the week ahead and the what ifs. I looked up and contacted childminders and nannies just in case.

Yesterday morning we arrived at the crèche early and the manager talked to us immediately. It went quite well. She took full responsibility and was not bullshitting at all which I really appreciated. She said that the fact we had written a formal complaint made her job very easy, she'll get back to us with a full report on her investigation by the end of the week and she will fwd our complaint to the main management due to the severe breach in regulations. She assured us that the safety of our child (and all the children in the creche) is absolutely not a matter of personal attitude, that there are rules and her staff has to follow them. If they don't there are consequences. I felt better I have to say and she aslo said she's going to have Jennifer (a senior carer, the one who minded him for the first two days) in the room for a few days and she's planning to move a different carer into the room anyway as she acknowledge the girls lack motherly attitude towards the babies (they are all young girls).

During the day Mike and I called the creche a couple of times to see how things were going and we got always the manager talking to us first and then she would pass us on to Jennifer who was lovely. We were reassured throughout the day that all was well (of course they also said he was getting upset a bit at times which was totally normal to us and made it sound really genuine). When I picked Oliver up he had eaten all his dinner and slept for 1.5 hours in the afternoon (and was alive!!), he had just got up and was getting his nappy changed. You see, I still have this utter fear that Oliver may die in his sleep at the crèche (or anywhere in fact...I know...I'm working on it) and so for me the fact that they say they are checking on the sleeping babies every few minutes really put me at ease. Unless I of course think they are just saying this and in fact they don't do it at all which is what I thought on friday. But my heart melted at the care I saw yesterday. They asked me if I wanted to stay there and give him the bottle given that it was almost time for his feed. Wendy came up to me and showed me his diary and she was lovely (I know she'd been spoken to already by the manager and worried she may be upset with me, but if she was, she didn't show it at all). So again I completely changed my mind and actually thought it was al in my head on friday...Oliver was absolutely happy there watching the children and wanted to get off my lap to sit on the mat and play. I stayed there probably another half hour and the children were all relaxed and playing. Two of them were actually playing peeckaboo with pillows! They were just over 11 months! It was adorable!

Of course I spoke to the manger (who stayed with me all the time in the room) saying maybe I over-reacted and that the girls were in fact lovely. She said that one of them had been with them for 2.5 years, the feedback on her is always fantastic, but that in any case what happen to us on friday was horrible and not to happen again and that we'll still meet on friday and she'd tell me how it all went. There must have been something going on on friday (this is what I think now) and I was there when this first girl had just gone home and a second one was covering (the one who knew nothing about Oliver's day) so I had the impression of neglect while in all probability was just lack of communications between the girls.

Anyway, last night I slept finally and today I am much more relaxed!

Induction day 2 and 3. Failed hearing test. Meltdown.

2011-09-30T21:55:00.003+01:00

I'm in a terrible state. It's going to be a long post.

Thursday started with a re-failed hearing test for Oliver. Ok now I was getting a bit worried. The nurse said they'll make a note for the doctor and she'll check him too in the afternoon. Oliver's second day at the crèche for 2 hours seemed to be much better, when I went picking him up, he was fast asleep (had just fell asleep), apparently had played all morning and Jennifer (sort of room supervisor) was so so caring I felt he was in the best place possible and that he would have settled in no time. The doctor visit in the afternoon was absolutely fine for development, weight and hight, he's well above the 50 percentile and not a bother. But the hearing test was failed for the third time. The doctor was not that thorough, kinda rushed it and said she was writing a referral for a more specialised screening and that in any case it was something very mild. Come again? Are we talking about a mild hearing loss? Maybe. Not sure. Don't worry it's nothing. Seriously?? Don't worry?? Me??? Obviously I do worry, I read a lot since on the fact that the neonatal screening may fail to pick up minor hearing problems, what if my little one can't hear well? We know he can hear us talking, calling him etc, but we'll have to look a bit more into this. As I got home I called the paed office and left a message. He called back this morning and was so so reassuring. The test they did to him was totally archaic, 80% of the children apparently fail it and are referred to a specialist who will do a proper test, check the baby's ears for wax or fluids and generally it's all ok. The doctor didn't even bother looking into his ears but the paediatrician agrees that it's very likely nothing. Probably some fluids, or teething, or a bit of cold, or tiredness, you name it. Anyway, if I'm worried to anticipate our appointment but he really thinks there's no need to do anything.

Breathing a little better.

I brought Oliver back to the creche this afternoon for his final induction. 3 hours. He was fed and had slept plenty in the morning. I got there on time and the first thing I was surprised was to see only one girl in the baby room. There were two babies on the mat and she was writing notes on a spreadsheet. Her name is Wendy and looks like 20 something. I asked her if there were only those two babies or of some were asleep. She said a few were asleep in the cot room but that one wasn't sleeping (we could hear him through the intercom). I asked her was she on her own and she said the other girl was just having her lunch. So..yes you are on your own. Who the hell is checking on the babies in the cot room? They are never supposed to be on their own and they swore to me they are checking on the babies every 5 minutes. I was there for 15 minutes, she was always on her own, and never checked on the babies including the one crying his eyes out. Not good AT ALL. Mike was there too and on our way out we talked to the manager asking for how long the carers can be on their own. She said absolutely never, it's the company policy and she'll look into it straight away, she said they have a system whereby when one is on a lunch break another one covers so that there's always two in the room. So we said maybe one is in fact in the cot room and we didn't see her. The manager also said that Wendy has been with them for 2 and half years and she's very experienced so she was going to have a word. We left it at that. This Wendy doesn't really come across as very well educated (she has a strong accent that generally is lost as you go to school and college), Mike think she's not really coming across very happy or bubbly at all. I'm less bothered by this, yes, she's not funny as such, but she seemed to know what she was doing. Anyway, Wendy told me she is generally off around 4 so there would be another girl when I was going to pick Oliver up. Not a problem. I went back 3 hours later, as it was pissing rain and I was a bit early I just sat in the corridor for a little while. The manager saw me and very warmly she encouraged to go in and that I could watch Oliver in the room from the glass. She buzzed me in. She had no info on whether Oliver had slept/eaten etc but that the girls would have told me everything. And here is where things started going really bad. I arrived to the room and could see Oliver on the floor getting very upset (he had not seen me yet). Two more babies were there. This other carer was holding another baby who seemed just fine and not really paying much attention to Oliver crying (ok...I realise this may be my memory playing tricks now). I put on the covers for the shoes and entered the room. The girl was a bit startled as obviously I had not called the room to announce myself like we generally do and was very quick in saying that Oliver was absolutely fine till two minutes beforehand. Yes right, see if I give a shit about your judgement right now. I picked him up and soothed him quickly. I asked if he had slept and she had no clue. Really?? WTF?? She said he maybe slept for 25 minutes probably around 2. What?? We got there at 2.30! I was totally losing it. I asked can she check his diary and let me know, this is important. She looked at it, couldn't tell me anything else. He didn't eat his tea and he took very little from his bottle. Very strange but sure it's possible he has to settle in...Normally he has a full bottle around 4 pm and now it's 5.30. I gave him the bottle and he drained it in no time. Maybe he was crying because he was hungry?? The thought tortures me. The I saw this girl picking up from the floor (under a couch!) Oliver's little bear-blankety thing he uses to sleep. Now I was very clear that this toy is for his sleep only, not to be used by any other child and not to be given to him when he plays either, how did it end up under the couch I have no idea. She was so so off-putting I was getting more and more irritated. I left the room, sat on a chair outside trying to calm myself down. First of all this other girl was also on her own in the room with 4 babies (the ratio is 1 carer and 3 babies). The second carer only came back in when I was already sitting outside the room. Say maybe after at least 15 minutes. The rage I was feeling I think may be comparable with a mother bear thinking his cub is in danger.

I went to the manager and first thing I asked if she queried about the fact that Wendy was on her own. She said it was because they were expecting us for 2.30 (and I was there at 2.30, not earlier) and that absolutely it'll never happen again. Then I told her about the lack of information provided but this other girl who was there now and of course started welling up. She quickly brought me into the office (surely she didn't wan't other parents seeing me upset) I told her about the bear on the floor, the fact that Oliver was crying and that I really needed strong evidence that this was NOT the norm. That I was having second thoughts and that there was no way I'd be having Oliver in there for a full day monday of next week. She promised me she would look into this and not to worry, she'll talk to me again monday morning, she'll have the girls in the office right away and will discuss with the other manager too.

So this is where I'm at. Oliver seemed absolutely fine, very chilled, as soon as he had his bottle and we were sitting out of the room he was full of smiles for all the children, played at home as always, had his dinner and bath and went to bed without a peep. Sound asleep. So obviously I know he was ok at the crèche but jeez this is not the service I'm expecting for a top class facility which won prizes and everything! On monday Mike will drop Oliver in, but I'll go in too. I feel all this responsibility is on me and I really need him to step up and talk to the managers too.

If you got this far, thank you so much for reading, I had to get it off my chest and hopefully I'll be able to sleep tonight.

Tomorrow Oliver is 9 months old (and 39 weeks exactly...this only confuses me further on the length of a pregnancy...) I can't believe he is so big already.

Induction: day one

2011-09-28T20:01:00.003+01:00

I have to admit, I was very emotional this morning! I went into work, had a couple of meetings I really would have avoided like the plague, I was aware I was quite short with my students and then when I reminded my head of department that Oliver had his induction starting today I had to hold back the tears!! He was very very understanding, has two children of his own so no problem of course and wished me all the best.

I got home for lunch. Mom had everything ready (bless her) and Oliver was in great form. He hadn't slept much in the morning though due to a very stubborn delivery guy who attached himself to the bell like it was a lifesaver...anyhow. We got to the crèche at 2.30 as planned and sure enough my little petal had just fallen asleep in the car. So it was a rough hour, I left him there after 20 minutes or so and warned the girls (all lovely) that he was very tired and probably would not have gone to sleep there. When I got back right on the hour he was really upset, crying and all but the girls said he was ok till only a few minutes before. He dove into my arms and of course he fell asleep as soon as he touched the car seat. Needless to say he was already in bed this evening by 7.45.

The crèche is fantastic, the girls specified that they want it to be a "home-away-from-home" and they'll follow our routine to the letter. It works well as they have lunch at the same time as he has it at home so I am sure once he settles with sleeping there it's going to be just perfect. They also are happy to use the reusable nappies (not really common in Ireland, but there's another baby there also with reusable wohoo!!) and they'll bring him to the loo too! They were very impressed with this info and happy to give it a go.

It's going to be another tough day tomorrow for Oliver.

9am the repeat hearing test. Oh yes I meant to say, we had him tested at 2 weeks by the paediatrician and we know the ear-nerves are perfect, so this may have been a fluke due to a cold or fluids in the ear. He only failed I think 3 tunes so hopefully tomorrow he'll pass those too.

10 am we are back in the crèche till 12, he'll definitely has to sleep there or he'll be wrecked by lunch time.

2.45 pm we have another health check with a doctor at the health centre and let's hope it'll be quick and on time or Oliver will miss his sleep in the afternoon too!

I let you know how it goes.

38 weeks

2011-09-24T09:56:00.003+01:00

My little darling is 38 weeks today and decided to start celebrating very early this morning...generally when I leave for work at 7.30 is just barely awake and I was looking forward to an extra hour in bed today. Nope. But thankfully my mum came to the rescue and looked after him so that we could sleep a little longer. I don't know what we'll do when she goes back home next saturday and we have to quickly establish a new routine which involves bringing him to the crèche and collecting him in the afternoon. I envisage quite a few pizza nights...

So this coming week is packed with new things we have to do. Wednesday he'll go to the crèche for the first time for one hour, then thursday two hours and friday 3 hours. And Monday next it'll be his first full day. On thursday he also has two health checks, he has to repeat the hearing one that he failed with a nurse in the morning and then a doctor will give him an overall developmental check in the afternoon.

We still have no teeth though he's definitely more in pain in the evening and I found that homeopatic granules called Teetha help him a lot, he certainly has slept soundly all week long (doesn't even wake up when the damn alarm goes off occasionally!)

He's eating everything, loves bread sticks and he's that happiest little man when he sees that you are giving him something from your plate. He clearly says "Mammamamamamma" very loud, generally if he's upset or hungry, he whispers "Papapapapapa" which is very very cute too.

So this is where we are at the moment, work has also settled into a more organised routine now that we are two weeks into term.

I'll update during the week with the progress at the crèche and at the doctors, wish us well!

The five Amigos!

2011-09-18T14:27:00.005+01:00

The clinic just called and we have 5 frozen blastocysts! Wohooo!!! 3 of them were frozen yesterday on day 5 and 2 more today on day 6! All of them are "beautiful expanded blasts" as my lovely embryologist said after having wished me happy birthday... Only 2 had arrested on day 3 but the other 4 didn't look high grade enough for freezing (my clinic has very strict criteria for what can be frozen, they like to have their FET stats almost as good as the fresh).

So that's it for now, we'll be looking at single transfers in the summer of next year (we have the California holiday planned for June next year and then I have a conference near Boston early July), I really hope there will be a brother or sister for Oliver among my little penguins.

37

2011-09-17T11:00:00.002+01:00

I'm 37 today and Oliver is 37 weeks! Nice coincidence. I love these coincidences, they make me smile even if they are totally pointless eheh. Happy birthday to me!

So Oliver has now been outside longer than he was inside. Again, soon this will be something I'll stop thinking about, look at how long I have been outside!

Nothing much new to say, no word from the clinic yet which is good I suppose. I had a very very busy week, a conference, several lectures, incoming students looking for advice, projects to be organised etc. I think I had a touch of OHSS, my belly was quite swollen and only in the last couple of days is a bit better. Still not back to normal though. The fact that I've been up and about from 6.30am every morning and often not back to bed before 11.30pm surely didn't help.

Anyway, I'm enjoying being pampered by my mom today, I slept in, she looked after Oliver. Nice. Fab food is being cooked and we'll go for some retail therapy later. Oliver had another inconsolable crying stint last night, sobbing and all. The poor baby. Then he settled but I could hear him a few times in the night crying a bit. Maybe he's teething. We still have no teeth at all! He has adjusted very well to be with my mom and not my sister, I am really confident he'll be fine in the crèche. And the sensor pad thing keeps going off occasionally, so annoying....but I'm not at the stage yet where I feel confident in removing it altogether. Soon, I promise.

I'll update with news from the clinic as soon as I hear. I am surprisingly calm.

Fertility report is in

2011-09-13T14:24:00.005+01:00

The embryologist called around lunch time to say that 11 out of the 14 eggs fertilized! This more or less in line with our previous results (14/16 first time, 6/9 second time and 5/6 the third time) which is really positive news. Mike was a bit worried that he hadn't taken his vitamins long enough before the procedure (usually he would have had a 3 months stint), but I'm glad it didn't affect the first stage anyway.

So here's what going to happen. They'll culture the embryos to blast and on Sunday at the latest (day 6) they will phone me with a full report of what we have. If everything goes south beforehand of course they'll let me know but Ivy (the really nice embryologist we had a few times) said it's still going to be Saturday before she knows for sure how things are. I said I thought they were going to change medium on day 3 and that perhaps I would have gotten an update then, but she reminded me that the critical step is day 3 to day 4 and she doesn't want to give me false hopes (the usual protocol of the clinic!). Anyway, she said I can call the lab if I'm anxious, but I'll definitely try not to be.

Today I feel a bit swollen, I'm trying to drink plenty and take it easy (I'm back in work), let's hope it won't worsen. I had a night full of nightmares (some fake photographer wanted to kidnap Oliver!) so I didn't sleep that well at all, which I'm sure it's not helping overall.

14!

2011-09-12T19:28:00.002+01:00

They got 14 eggs! I'm delighted, hopefully they'll fertilize, we'll know tomorrow.

The nurse said I had 21 follicles at the last count, so to watch out for OHSS symptoms. I think they went down quite heavy with the sedation this time, I could barely get up all day (still feeling quite spaced out) thankfully my sister could look after Oliver and Mike wasn't late coming back home.

I'll update tomorrow with the fertilization report.

And would you believe it, last night, Oliver's monitor went off 3 times! Of course all false alarms, which is great in one way, meaning there's not a hint of panic in me any more, but on the other, if we don't understand what the hell is wrong with it, it's going to be a real pain!

Update: Mike just came down and said the sensor pad was not in the centre of the bed so he repositioned it. Any time it went off, Oliver was at the top of his crib where he tends to migrate all the time. We'll see!

Retrieval on monday

2011-09-09T14:42:00.002+01:00

Last scan this morning and all looks good. I think I have 20 follicles in total and 14 are of a very good size. Also I was scanned with a different (older) machine and even the measure of the lining (incidentally the best I ever had!) was less than 2 days ago so I am thinking there may be a couple more follicles in the "right zone", but we all know this means nothing till you have actually eggs and then embryos. So I don't want to have my hopes up too much as the disappointment the last time was massive. If I don't hear anything this afternoon from the clinic, I'll trigger with the full dose on saturday night and I'll be the first one in the morning going through the procedure.

In Oliver's world things are well, he had his first cold which had him up at night (and us too!) even more than usual, being quite uncomfortable and slightly feverish. But yesterday he was already much better and last night...oh yes, last night we NEVER had to get up! I'm looking 10 years younger this morning!! And it's just as well...we had the official opening of our new research facilities and the Prime Minister was on the premises...big big deal as you can imagine, in difficult economic times you have to really show that your job and research are worth the investment.

Finally we had another full on alarm with the sensor monitor. It happened one the afternoon, Oliver was actually awake and all smiley when Mike run up to check on him. Mike had heard him cooing seconds earlier so we are now absolutely certain the thing it's false alarming on us. I think Carlito may have started playing with the cable that connect the under-mattress sensor pad to the unit...I have to say I'm so so relieved!!!

Update number 2

2011-09-07T13:32:00.003+01:00

Academic teaching term will start on monday and we are having orientation week at the moment and it's just hell. So I've not been able to read or comment! So sorry, I'll try my best during the weekend.

I had my second scan this morning, everything is on track, 10 follicles on the left and 7 good sizes on the right. A couple of smallies which won't count. Mike went in for his SA yesterday and he had nothing to report on the "Sample room" of the new facility, apparently it's the same as the old one, no new "interesting" material to look at. The results weren't great, 7 million/mL, low motility. Bleah. The Fav Doctor had a look for me at his precious number and actually in 2009 he only had 5.4 million/mL so it's not as bad this time. And she pointed out they only need a few for ICSI so they have plenty to work with.

In other news, Oliver had a terrible night last night, we had very little sleep, he seemed inconsolable between 1.30 am and 3am. Normally it's enough to give him his soother and the night-teddy but we actually had to pick him up and rock him till he stopped sobbing. My little baby...I think he suffers from separation anxiety now that I'm in work all day...and I'm a bit tender in the belly so I don't pick him up as much in the evening either...let's hope he'll settle soon. Love to all.

Cycle update

2011-09-05T09:09:00.003+01:00

Day 6 of stim and this morning I had my scan with the Fav Doctor.

All looks super, I have 8 follicles on each side all above 10mm (but one which is small). Retrieval most likely to be on monday! She said after a pregnancy it's very common to have great response. Nice to know!

In other news yesterday I went to the local pool with Oliver again and it was a success like the first time! He absolutely loves it.

We had one other incident with the sensor monitor, a couple of nights ago. I had just been in checking on him and actually I heard him making a noise from my bed when the monitor went "Bip"! So I went back in knowing though it was definitely a false alarm. And it was. Oliver was on his side at the edge of the bed asleep. It never went to the full on beeping though, but somehow it reassured me greatly it may have been a glitch!

I'm back in work full time and I'm trying to come in very early so that I can go home mid afternoon, so far so good!

8 months old!

2011-09-01T10:49:00.003+01:00

Oliver is 8 months today! My sister is arriving late afternoon and our baby sitting routine will begin. I have to be calm and relaxed, everything will be well. This is my mantra.

In other news my stimming protocol is the same as the last time, I started my puregon (225 U) and luveris last night. I have this thing that I fear I'll forget the injections...It was a strange feeling taking out my Puregon pen from the fridge (I store it there, it's the one I used the last time and so I think it's my lucky pen). Definitely the anxiety about the cycle is minimal which is great, but still I had this thought in my mind "we are going to try and add to the family" and a smile came to my face.

I slept a bit better, I think I'm overcoming the terror of what had happened. I would go as far as saying that Oliver would have been absolutely fine in any case and that I can only do my best to keep him safe. Let's hope it'll last!

Good to start!

2011-08-30T21:13:00.005+01:00

Thanks my friends for the kind words. I am slowly getting back to less anxiety again. I now am quite sure that by the time I reached Oliver the other night he was definitely breathing so much so that the alarm stopped before I touched him (of course we had several tests and it takes a few seconds for the alarm to stop when you resume motion). Still. He almost certainly had stopped breathing for the alarm to go off. The sensor pad is ultra sensitive and a feather brushing against the mattress, even at the edge, would be getting registered. I do remember when I had the first scare the paed said that when the alarm goes of after 15 seconds it's still at the high end of normal. This time it may have been 20-25 seconds, and I think it was because he was face down on the mattress. But I will make sure to tell the doctor at the next appointment or I'll book in early if it happens again. God please don't let it happen again.

I also called the crèche today to find out what their safety protocol for sleeping babies is. The manager was very very understanding, she said they have a baby monitor in the room but that they check the babies every 5 minutes (of all ages up to the time they leave for school) and keep it on record for years so they are all available to me even now if I want to check. Of course she said if I feel more comfortable they'll clip on the breathing monitor too, no problem. She was so so reassuring, they don't want to take any chance and she encouraged me to call again if I have any worry at all. I do feel better. A bit.

I will post some pics of our last holiday soon but for now I'll show you how happy he is at bath time! This one was taken only a couple of nights ago.

In other news, my scan at the clinic went well, still a bit of lining to be shed but bloods were good so I will start stimming tomorrow. They changed back my meds to what I had used before with no problem. Of course meds change also depending on which pharma company gives them the best perks but for veteran clients like me they'll prescribe what worked before. Delighted not to have to use steroids and clexane this time as I won't do a transfer, but let's hope we'll have something to freeze! Next scan on Monday. Mike will go in for a SA on tuesday. We are quite curious to see if the new super duper facilities has upgraded the "Sample room" too. I will let you know.

My dear friend The Ultimate Vet Hero will fly to Cali for good tomorrow morning, I sure will miss her.

And my sister will be here on Thursday to babysit for a couple of weeks, hopefully she won't be too tired by the end of it!

Anxiety is back

2011-08-29T17:16:00.003+01:00

Last night at 4.30am I heard the sensor monitor alarm going off (the full thing, not just the warning "bip"). I was in Oliver's bedroom within seconds. He seemed to be just fine, but sleeping at the edge of the cot, on is belly, with his knees up, so I thought the alarm went off as perhaps his breathing motion was not really happening on the mattress. Of course I moved him, he didn't even wake up, he was breathing just fine, didn't gasp for air on anything, I gave him his soother and then listen, from my bedroom to his sucking noises. I just couldn't sleep again. Heart pounding. What if he had actually stopped breathing? Maybe he had and I'm just telling myself it was the position he was sleeping in that triggered the alarm.

And so of course today I fell back into the loop of reading about SIDS stories frightening myself to tears. I was doing so well, this summer I felt comfortable enough to not have the Snoo.za monitor on him at night (it was falling off the nappy and going off consistently) and today I had to go and watch him breathe. He's going to be 8 months on Thursday, I know the major risk should be over and yet you always read about a tragedy. Today I read that SIDS seems to happen more commonly when the child is minded by someone else. For the love of God...I'm going to insist that they'll have his breathing monitor on in the crèche (yes, sorry, that's day care) when they put him down for his nap. This is bad and I know it. I know I cannot control what will happen, I can only take precautions. I'm back to being anxious and what would I do if something happens. Damn anxiety...I was ok and then the monitor had to go off just to remind me I'll never be free from worrying.

In other news tomorrow I'm going in for my baseline scan. I got the prescription and they changed a couple of meds, not sure why, I'll ask about it tomorrow and very likely will go back to what I previously used. I'll update with news then. Love to all and thanks for listening.

7 and half months check up with the nurse

2011-08-26T17:33:00.002+01:00

Today I brought Oliver to the local health centre to be checked out by the nurse. I would have walked but we seem to be experiencing quite a few summer thunderstorms (at least 3 today).

Anyway, I wasn't particularly worried about anything, I know that at this visit they would check baby's hearing, height and weight, postural milestones etc. We had Oliver's ear check when he was 2 weeks old at the paed and I know he's growing like a weed and he's in good health. If I had one small concern is that I'm under the impression that his foreskin is a bit tight (circumcision is not commonly done in Europe), but I didn't really know what it should look like at this age.

Anyway, the hearing test was quite fun, I sat with Oliver on my lap facing a nurse who would grab his attention with a toy. Meanwhile another nurse (the assessing one) was behind me making noises to our right or left and Oliver would turn his head to the right or left. Actually he didn't hear two tones from his right and a different tone from his left but the nurse said it's very common and to go back in 2/4 weeks to repeat it. Hopefully it'll be fine then.

His weight is a whopping 9kg (a kg in just over a month!!) and his hight is 71cm which puts him nicely between the 50th and the 75th percentile!! Wohoo this is coming from a little one who was always in the 25th percentile!! He sat up nicely for the nurse and showed her how much he's keen to actually stand on his feet. His feeding stage is where it should be so I'm pleased I got full marks for my little one.

She had a look at his foreskin and yes, she think it's a bit tight but that a doctor should have a look. I'm thinking to wait till the next hearing test and then go back to the paediatrician.

I'm also happy to say that he's back to sleeping much better, last night he slept from 8pm to 6 am this morning, it was a soother emergency and he went right back to sleep for another hour and a half.

In other news, I got a call from the crèche where he'll be going to set up his induction dates. It'll happen the week before he starts so wednesday the 28th of September is the first hour! Also, I'll be unfortunately at a conference his first full day there (monday the 3rd) so it'll be up to Mike to drop him at the crèche that morning. My flight is due back in Dub at 2pm though so I'll go straight to pick him up. I'm really excited and not worried about this new step in his growth, I think he'll have a great time, hopefully I won't be proven wrong!

Home sweet home

2011-08-23T11:45:00.003+01:00

We are back!

Holiday was fab as always but this time we were eaten by mosquitoes (Oliver not so much thank to a mosquito net and citronella and geranium essential oils) and the temperature in the last few days was unbearably hot even up in the hills. This made for some very interesting nights... Oliver was back to waking every couple of hours, I also couldn't sleep much and Mike and I got a few headaches from heat and dehydration.

But the positives were so many more.

Oliver is now sitting up on his own! Still loves to bath in the little pool and he's eating practically everything which is great. He also discovered his willy and oh boy the fun he's having every time we change the nappy/bath/shower/naked time etc. I'm told it's very normal, but the way he's pulling at it looks painful! Again I'm told it isn't.

Peeing and pooing in the toilet is going great, admittedly in Italy he was drinking so much water that it was difficult to catch every pee, but he certainly knows that when I hold him over the loo it's the signal to pee/poo if he has to. He has successfully used toilets at airports and even on the plane! He's very vocal, nearly always smiling and he's very cuddly. He hugs us any time we pick him up from bed and he's started stretching his arms out when he's tired to sit/stay where he is.

I think we all gained a bit of weight (damn for me!!) despite playing tennis and doing regular walks, but I'll go back to yoga soon and I'll start bringing Oliver to the local pool this weekend! I have a plan, let's hope it'll work!

In other news, I'm waiting for AF to show up to start my ICSI cycle with elective freezing!! Really excited but also soooooooooo much more relaxed knowing we already had one miracle, and if we get a second it'll only be an additional blessing.

I'll get back to commenting asap!

Checking out

2011-08-04T21:36:00.003+01:00

Suitcase is packed.

Passports and tickets are on the table.

Cats are at the cattery already.

Washing machine is still going but should be finished soon. Dishwasher about to be started.

Aircoach lives tomorrow morning at 6.30 (aggh) and our flight is at 9.30.

Italy here we come!

No internet at all till the 22nd when we'll fly back, thinking of you all and I'll be looking forward to catching up with blogland on my return!

7 monthiversary!

2011-08-01T20:59:00.003+01:00

Oliver is 7 months today and I did a bit of shopping for my little one!

First let me say that I got another load of things from friends and colleagues last friday. We are now in possession of a few hundred euro worth of clothing (practically new), two bumbo seats (one for the living-room and one for the attic), and a baby play mat the size of a room (well...almost!). So I had a few things I needed to get and then it so happens that one of my former student gave me a voucher today so I added a few more things to the mix!

I had bought a summer sleep bag the other day as Oliver is quickly outgrowing the one he currently uses. I love the Gro company so that's where this is coming from.

To this I added a less needed Organic-cotton sleep bag (6-18 months!) for the winter time (he has one already which came with the cot-bed but they do get used a lot). The colour looks a bit pale, but it's actually a nice warm straw colour.

Then, given that we now posses a bumbo seat (ops, sorry, I meant two for just one baby!) we bought the tray.

But the cherry on the cake goes to the gro-clock!

I absolutely loved this clock the first time I saw it on the website, it's such a clever idea! You can set it to whichever time you like to indicate night-time and day-time and that should help the toddler to stay in bed till "the sun comes up"! Of course Oliver doesn't need it yet so it'll stay on my bedside locker for the time being!

And talking about sleeping, Oliver is a bit more settled, doesn't sleep fully through the night but we may have to get up only a couple of times. Anyway, let's hope we heading in the right direction!

New addition to the menu

2011-07-28T15:37:00.003+01:00

I just couldn't resist! he had found his feet a few weeks ago, but this morning he decided to taste his big toe!

Sleep last night was a bit better again, mostly it's me that still can't have a good night sleep. If I wake up, I'm done. For hours. Not sure what's up with me either! At least I don't cry...

I have started two days ago a detox plan for my liver/gallbladder and friends. I really never had problems till after the pregnancy. I blame all the hormones I took like candies for the last few years. So I have a nagging pain on the right, just under my ribcage. I won't deny it, a few times I gave in to hypochondria and thought I had something terrible and lethal. It's more likely to be an overly stressed gallbladder (so I read anyway). Water with a few drops of lemon is one of my best friend. And I bought this utterly expensive herbal mix. I want to be in good shape if I'm going for treatments again in September!

Very quiet blogland lately, but my dear blogger-friend C just had fantastic news as she'll post it herself very soon! I forgot to mention I met her last week and then again this week too! Shame she'll be leaving Ireland for good in just a couple of weeks, but that's always how it happens isn't it? Anyway, if you come to Dublin know that I'll be thrilled to meet you, never doubt that, so if you are up for it just give me a shout!

I said it too soon...

2011-07-27T14:16:00.003+01:00

Of course I should have known better...we are back to getting up every hour or two. Let's hope it'll settle for real soon!

Getting better!

2011-07-26T10:33:00.002+01:00

Thank you for your kind comments my friends, it's good to know it's not only happening to us and that it's a phase. Yes he's definitely working towards sitting up on his own and to rolling back on his back, so it may well be that the cause of the interrupted sleep.

Nearly as soon as I read your comments, we decided not to go in Oliver's room any more (unless the crying escalates) and miraculously for the last three nights we had almost a full night sleep! He still makes his noises but they seem to be less intense. We found him a few times 180° turned in the bed, he must have worked out how not to get stuck halfway. He seems to be much happier to sleep on his tummy also, and must have learned to roll back (maybe while rotating!) as in the morning he's always on his back.

He seems to be back to his old self, when he wakes up in the morning he's happy to chat to himself and play with the soft toys he has in the bed.

So thanks so much for sharing and I hope it'll settle for your child too if you are still experiencing it!

Sleeping problems

2011-07-22T13:32:00.002+01:00

Oliver will be 29 weeks tomorrow and I am not sure what's happening but his sleeping routine is gone out the window. First I thought it was because we were on holidays, then maybe it took sometime to readjust but nope, our dream boy who slept through the night since he was a few weeks old has started waking up possibly every 2 hours...

He has a nap in the morning, of various length (30 mins- 1 hour) then he has a long nap in the afternoon (1.30-2hrs) and then goes to bed as he has always done around 8-8.30 pm. He sleeps solidly till about 11pm when he cries a bit and we call it "a soother emergency", you go up, give him the soother and that's all that's needed. Till a month ago, you wouldn't hear him till 7am in the morning, when he would wake up happily chatting to himself and didn't need attention for about another hour. It was great going. Now he cries for a bit before sleeping, nothing major, no drama, doesn't really need anything a part from the soother and he's asleep within 10-15 minutes from going to bed. And then the occasional waking up starts. First it was because he may have rotated in the bed, getting stuck sideways. Then it was because he may have rolled over onto his belly and couldn't get back on his back. But now it's just waking up crying (not an upset cry, just a nagging one) you go in, he's not stuck anywhere, give him his soother, and back out to bed. After a couple of hours it happens again. And again. And again. Maybe he's warm, maybe he's cold, maybe he's thirsty/hungry, maybe he has a sore tummy, maybe he's teething...I have no idea.

Any tips or comforting thoughts? A part from this he's the usual sweet baby, eats happily (chicken too!) and plays. I'm running out of things to try... I had read somewhere that as they grow to this age, the World during the day is so interesting that they don't want to give it up at night, can this be it?

6 months check-up and 28 weeks!

2011-07-16T09:08:00.006+01:00

We have nicely settled back into our routine and Oliver is doing very well. No particular reaction to the vaccines (the 4 months shots were definitely worse) and we had a nice weekend.

Some more work was done to the attic (yes I know, still not finished!) and we changed all the windows too to triple glazed, high efficiency ones.

AF also made her appearance over the weekend and I hope to be back on track for September.

During the week I brought Oliver to the paed for a routine 6 month check up and he did very well. He's growing in weight (8kg!) and hight (67cm) which according to online calculators means he's between the 25 and 50 percentile so I'm very happy with that as he's on track, in fact probably getting closer to the 50%. Paed was very happy with developmental progress and said he can now eat everything he likes including eggs and meat. Nice!

I think he's getting much stronger in his upper body and can sit almost by himself (still needs a bit of support for balance) and rolling is now a very common thing. Still, he can't roll back and he gets frustrated when on his tummy for too long. My little man is 28 weeks today!

Oliver's best friend at the moment is Carlito. Carlito is our kitten and he loves licking and chewing Oliver's fingers! Oliver doesn't seem to mind (most of the times!) and could spend ours looking at the cats playing and caressing them. I closely supervise this, I don't want him to be too rough with the cats and of course he still doesn't have a clear idea of the fact that pinching is NOT ok!

Finally I bought another gadget... this is a kitchen robot which cooks as well as mixing! I love it! It was seriously expensive but I think I'll use it a lot and it's great also for baby food. Mom has it since Christmas and praises it on a daily bases. I've made pizza, bread, risotto and tiramisu, all super yummy!

Holidays recap

2011-07-08T18:09:00.006+01:00

We flew to my home town on the 17th of June and we went to the seaside on the Riviera from the 19th to the 30th. Flight was great, and after a day of adjustment to the heat and fuss of the grandparents Oliver was the usual happy baby.

The highlight of the seaside stay was the pool! Oliver absolutely loved it (in fact more than the sea I think!) and the time he spent kicking his legs got longer and longer. The last day we actually went to the big pool rather than the baby one and again it was a hit!

Of course the next best thing for him was the gorgeous juicy fruit he was able to flavour while on holidays...peaches, apricots, melons and cherries! Yes we can find them here to, but honestly there's no comparison.

A few developmental milestones were reached while on holidays. He rolled over at around 25 weeks for the first time unassisted woohoo! And now he does it all the time! He found his feet and we discovered that he also loves to shower. This is very handy as he can shower with me and it's quicker and less messy than a bath. On the food side we introduced cheese which, as he has Italian genes, he absolutely loves and we tried chicken for the first time. Not quite a favourite just yet though.

Elimination Communication is going great, I feel I can really recommend it, at least try! Oliver seems to be truly delighted and I actually now have the impression he waits to go to the loo to do his business!

After the seaside time we moved to the hills (Apennines) where my parents have a place and we regrouped with my granny who was there too. Of course no real pool there but we got one of those inflatable ones and it did the trick. He also turned 6 months on the 1st of July!

It was a very long holidays and I didn't have a connection most of the time, but when I did I checked on you girls (by the way, if you can, activate the mobile settings, it's fantastic for reading blogs on the iphone without having to fiddle with the screen). My heart was broken when I read about Misfit Mrs. devastating (yet again) news.

And I'm glad to be back home and would you believe it, AF is late (like 5 days late) and if it wasn't for the fact that I'm tubeless and had no sex for 3 weeks I would almost think I'm pregnant. The last time I was this late I was dreading being pregnant in my teens! Anyway, hopefully it won't be too long or it'll upset the September plans!

Tomorrow Oliver will be 27 weeks and he got his 6 months jabs today...poor baby, 3 injections this time!! But he was quite good, getting fussy now though.

A few pics of the holidays till next time!

On the beach

In the baby pool with my dad and me

In the baby pool with me

with my mom

in the big pool!

the inflatable pool in the patio

eating granny's legendary pizza!

I'm back!

2011-07-07T16:00:00.003+01:00

My friends I've missed you all so much! We flew back yesterday and we settling back into our routine which, as you can imagine, was quite different when we were in Italy! I've so much to catch up and to update, I'm hoping to do so tomorrow.

I'm glad to be back in blogland!

Ready to go!

2011-06-16T10:29:00.003+01:00

Two meanings of course here!

We are getting ready to go to Italy tomorrow for 2 and half weeks, seaside with my mom and sister and then realx on hills of the Apennines. Mike won't come with us this time and we'll miss him a lot but I know he'll miss us even more. I don't have much to pack, but I look forward to see how the superlight stroller will perform at the airport, it's way to warm in Italy for the sling and till I'll be comfortable carrying Oliver on my back, the weight on the front is a bit too much.

This was us the last time at the airport in Italy

I'm never very good at taking too many pics, but I'll definitely make an effort this time and I'll bring also the camcorder. We'll see!

And remember last week I had my blood tests done at the GP on CD3 to see how my hormones were doing. Here they are:

FSH 6.4

LH 3.6

E2 168 (pmol/L or 45.8 pg/mL)

TSH 2.80

So needless to say I'm delighted and the Fav Doctor texted me when she got the faxed results saying she was confident the response in September will be good.

I also had my total blood count done and all is well, very good haemoglobin and the only thing out of range were my neutrophiles which are a bit below the minimum but the GP said it's nothing to worry about as everything else is normal.

I won't have much of a connection while on holidays, so I'm afraid I won't be able to comment if not sporadically, but you are all in my thoughts!

23 weeks, potty training update

2011-06-11T10:28:00.003+01:00

Another week has passed and my little boy is a week older!

As we are going on holidays next friday I won't be able to update for a while, but given the interest you fab girls showed on the potty training aspect I thought I'd share how things are going and what we do.

I will start by saying that in the past 8 days we had only 4 dirty nappies (twice it was an overnight thing, one time was at the very beginning and another time I didn't get to the loo on time!) which I am amazed and a bit shocked! Oliver seems to absolutely love doing his things in the loo rather than in his nappy. Twice he woke up from a nap with a fully dry nappy, I brought him to the loo, did the "ppppsss ppsss" sound and he peed happily. Then he looks up and smiles!

Of course there are some times he doesn't have to do anything and he'll make it very clear, meaning that he pushes with his feet on the toilet seat (as if wanting to stand up) and complains.

I've started reading a bit on this technique and as I mentioned in my previous post it's criticised by some experts, but I've also read amazing experiences of people having children out of nappies by the time they were 1! Some people have actually started this EC (elimination communication) routine as early as the baby was born. Thinking back, I don't think I would have had the energy or the will to do so at the very beginning, but just to let you know, it is possible.

The overall idea is that of leaving the baby without a nappy for as much time as possible. The benefits are obvious, babies love being nappy free, rashes are minimised (Oliver never suffered of those) and the freedom of movements is increased dramatically (specially for those who use cloth nappies which are bulkier). The downside is that you may have several "accidents" and so what you try to do is to understand the signals of your baby before he has to pee or poo and bring him to a potty or to the loo.

The weather/temperature here is not such that we can leave Oliver naked, but in preparation to go to Italy this is a good training.

Pees are still very difficult and I think I just get lucky when I manage to get one in the loo, but poos are quite predictable.

Our experience so far has been extremely positive.

On a final note, I of course went to buy a toilet training seat, thinking it would be a great help rather than me holding Oliver over the loo. I got the Bumbo training seat but returned it the morning after.

I'm sure it may be perfect for girls but NOT for boys. Whichever way the seat is shaped (it's like the Bumbo seat with the bottom part cut off), Oliver sits in it in a way that his willy is not in the hole and he would pee in his face. Even if we'd manage to have all his bits in the hole (not really easy) the pee would go all over the toilet seat because the Bumbo is hollow underneath with no "splash-guard". We exchange it for a funky potty which I'm not sure we'll ever use (to be honest I'd hope to just use the toilet training seat when he's bigger).

And so the quest continues! I read the Baby Bjorn toilet training seat is great. I'll let you know if I get it!

Future plans

2011-06-09T16:43:00.005+01:00

Yesterday we went to the clinic (new location, ultra posh place, was almost expecting a room named after me LOL!) and we met with the Fav Doctor. The medical part of the chat was very quick, the policy is "don't change what works" and so we'll do the same protocol the next time. We are looking at September with no pill (whoohoooo!!!), as my cycles are very regular already, I just have to give her a call when my period start in September (probably it'll be late August), she'll get my prescription ready and we are good to go! She suggested to start with a lower dose, she'll monitor me more often (the new place is walking distance from work) and we can increase if necessary. Two out of the three fresh cycles I have done, I risked OHSS and this resulted in half the trigger dose the last time which yielded 6 eggs out of 18 follicles which then became 3 blasts. We'll try and aim for 10 eggs without OHSS. We still think we'll freeze which means I won't be on steroids or clexane this time. The idea is to go to blast anyway and freeze then (Oliver was a frozen blast). But we'll see how it goes and the Fab Doctor seems to be quite flexible with us, which is great.

We also got a tour of the new facility and I can only say WOW. They even bought a new 3d ultrasound machine. Cool!

Yesterday was also my CD3 so I got my bloods done at the GP to see how I'm getting on on the hormones side of things. I'll have the results back next week.

Finally, I'm deeply saddened by the many losses happing in blogland. Some of them are just unreal they are so so cruel. I still get a profound sense of fear reading those stories, as if they trigger my memories around Oliver's birth so though you girls are in my thoughts and prayers I am not able to comment too much.

22 weeks, shopping, clinic and potty training (!)

2011-06-04T11:25:00.005+01:00

My darling Oliver is 22 weeks! 5 full months!

We are experiencing a heatwave here and the weather is amazing! On monday it's holiday here so it's a long weekend for which I've tons of things planned!

Yesterday I bought a light frame stroller called Petit Star Zia Plus. It seems like people have mixed opinions but I'm totally positive about it, really easy to use and manoeuvre!

Folds really small and I got a good offer with a summer removable lining, a parasol and rain cover! Very happy about it and Oliver seems to love it too! It'll be our summer/travel stroller!

On the shopping side, I finally manage to buy some swimwear for our upcoming trip to the seaside. I got everything in the same shop after seeing their collection online. I'm pleased with it too, though I think I have a long way to go before I'll look good in anything!

In other news, a girl on one of the local boards attending my same clinic mentioned that my Fav Doctor is now certified on the Irish medical board too (she is not Irish and got her qualification abroad) and so can now take her own patients. I thought it was a sign so I texted her congratulating her on the news and to see if we can set up a meeting to plan our future. She was delighted and said that given I'm a special patient, I can just tell her when I want to go in and she'll make time for me. So it may be next week!! Wohoo!! Things are moving fast! Of course I'll update you on that too.

Finally yesterday and today I got Oliver to poo on the loo!! I had read that if you hold the baby in a particular way it'll help them understand how to go potty in a more regular way. It was a popular method in tribal societies where nappies were not used. There is a lot of controversy on this potty training method and I am not following it as such. Anyway, yesterday I got the impression that he was probably about to poo so I took off his nappy and held him over the loo (keeping his legs lifted towards his tummy) and he went! He seemed delighted with the experience and so was I. Then this morning we did it again! Now, he also pooed in his nappy other times but given that we use cloth nappies it's a great victory not to having to clean them from solids sometimes and also I'm sure it's great for him not to have to sit on his poo till I realise he needs a change.

21 weeks, the nursery and Carlito

2011-05-28T22:40:00.006+01:00

Thank you all so so much for the outpour of love on my last post. Some of you were following me last year when we got the kittens so I truly appreciate every comment. You are amazing.

Oliver today is 21 weeks! Doing very well and I thought I'd post a couple of pics of the tiny nursery where he'll stay till he goes into the big boys room sometime in the future.

The Stokke sleepi bed and the corner of the changing table

A close up of the wall decorations and the wooden mobile

A shot of the other side with Oliver on the changing table and the cloth nappy covers!

It's been a week since Oliver started sleeping in his room and we couldn't be happier. Everyone is getting much more sleep. We bring him into our bed in the morning sometimes for a cuddle and he loves it!

Our room is now back to ourselves and the cats. Patches slept with us his last night (we didn't know it was his last night but it's nice to know he had lots of cuddles) and since then the Dude is spending the nights on our bed. We didn't allow the cats to sleep with us when Oliver was there too, I still wouldn't feel comfortable with them jumping in his crib while he's inside.

Finally, I mentioned we had adopted a new kitten from the vet clinic and he's with us since yesterday. We called him Carlito after much debate but now it fits him perfectly. He's about 5 weeks old but he's so active and playful, yet very well behaved and cuddly we are all very happy. Except the Dude who is still keeping his distance. It went this way. The Dude saw Carlito and went near him to smell him. Carlito hissed and made himself as big as possible (which means about the size of a Dude's paw!), the Dude took it badly and has hissed at him since. But then he runs away, never lifted a paw, so Carlito now knows he's a gentle giant and just want to play with him. The Dude acts like he's afraid of him and went on a hunger strike for 24 hours (back to eating this evening even though in a different room to minimise the stress). He's now quite happily in the same room (the kitchen) as Carlito but never gets too close. Carlito on the other hand is trying his best to get as close to the Dude as possible! Hopefully they'll be friends soon, I know the Dude has space in his heart for another friend. Once the loss of Patches is accepted.

Carlito 27th of May 2011, about 5 weeks old

Goodbye Patches

2011-05-23T21:22:00.006+01:00

There was nothing else we could do to try and help him. Today when the Ultimate Vet Hero came over to see him, she agreed he had not made much progress and that we were out of ideas. I think Mike and I knew this was going to be the outcome but we needed Ultimate Vet Hero to feel the same. She was devastated and I know she treated him like one of her own pets. I don't know who was more upset if me or her. But it was the right thing to do. So she took him away and then texted me when it was all over to say it was very quick and peaceful. Knowing it was the right thing to do doesn't make it less sad though.

We will get another kitten, a healthy one hopefully this time. The Dude needs a friend. The Vet clinic currently has 10 kittens looking for a home, so this evening we went to see them. We should have one with us by the end of the week. The Dude knew Patches was very unwell, after looking after him constantly for several days, he had distanced himself in the last three days. This is one of the latest picture of the two of them together taken last week.

Goodbye little friend, you brought the Ultimate Vet Hero in our lives and that was a great gift from such a sweet pet. You'll live forever in our hearts.

Patches 22nd of February 2010 - 23rd of May 2011

First night on his own

2011-05-22T14:43:00.003+01:00

It went down without a hitch! Oliver slept soundly through the night and briefly woke up around 6.30 am because he got stuck sideways in the cot! Once repositioned and soothed up he slept for another hour and half! The major difference from our room is that we added a black-out blind to his window so it's darker for longer and definitely helps him not waking up!

In other news I stepped on the dreaded scale this morning. I have to say I tried on and squeezed back into my skinny jeans the other night, much to my surprise, and started thinking the scale was a lying bitch as according to it I still had 7-8kg to go the last time. So this morning up I went on the evil thing and still it says I'm 62kg. That is 10kg less than I was at the end of the pregnancy and still 5kg to go. There's no way I'd fit back into those if I was 5kg heavier than the pre-drugs IF madness. I think I wasn't even 10 weeks along and I couldn't wear them any more. So that's it, either the thing is lying or the weight has redistributed itself in other places. Which has to be my upper body. But 5kg?? Mystery. They may be still most on my belly (the jeans are a low-waist model) but I'm working on it. You know, I'm going back to Italy in 4 weeks time and me, Oliver, mum and sister are going to the sea-side. Arrrhhhggghh I'll have to buy a bikini or something (it must be 10 years I've not gone to the sea side for holidays) and I'm dreading it! I imagine myself wearing a wrap or a T-shirt all the time...sad I know. Four weeks to tone up. Not sure I can do it. Also, I've always had horrible capillaries and visible veins in my legs which got worse with the pregnancy. So as part of the body-renovation I've started getting them "erased". Problem is, I do that in Italy and you can't sunbathe afterwards, so I can't get any more done till sea time. I won't be a pleasant sight on the beach I'm afraid. Let's hope Oliver will be the centre of attention then!

And thanks so much for the messages about Patches. No major progress I'm afraid, maybe the eye is better but he's breathing is still very congested. Ultimate Vet Hero will come to see him tomorrow.

Loving ICLW week! I've actually got to read blogs I've never read before which is just fantastic! Stick around folks, Attic updates and pics of the nursery are coming soon!

ICLW Mixed Flavours

2011-05-21T09:08:00.003+01:00

Welcome old and new cyber-friends. We are in the phase of life where we are finally parenting after a very long journey of infertility, ectopic pregnancies, hopes ans shattered hopes, ICSIs, FETs and eventually pregnancy. The details are on the left sidebar. I hope to come and visit your blog soon and make new friends, this is such an amazing community.

So I went back to the ICLW blog list to see which three topics I had put down and of course now several other things are happening so I'm afraid I won't stick to those themes so much, but that's life isn't it? you plan to do something and then a D-tour must be taken...

First things first. Today my little chicken is 20 weeks old! And tonight he'll be evicted from our room and moved into the nursery. Since last week we transformed his crib into the mini bed

And he had no problem adjusting, in fact I think he feels better now that he has more room to stretch. We had to buy black-out blinds for the nursery window and today's project is to put them up, rearrange the things in the nursery (it's our tiny box-room, he'll move again into the second bedroom once we have the attic fully finished and ready for guests) and hope for the best!

On Thursday night I met a cyber-friend who came to Ireland on holidays (no, not Queen Elizabeth, I don't think she blogs LOL!). Christa and her husband would make such great parents, their FET is just around the corner, let's hope they'll bring home some Irish luck!

And I have to say to you all, in the last few weeks there have been so many BFPs among my cyber friends it's as if all the stars have aligned in a fantastic (and rare) conjunction with the planets and miracles are happening. Some are on my local board (3!!) and several others are in blogland. I am confident one by one all the girls in my top right hand-side list will be moved further down! So if you are cycling now or soon, the stars are on your side!!

Finally my little pet Patches is going through a rough time. He's just over one year old and let me tell ya he has a medical history of a geriatric cat. On his side he has the Ultimate Vet Hero who is determined not to give up on him till there's hope. At times I feel it's too much love and perhaps we should let him go. Patches was about to be put to sleep a year ago and she saved him. But his immune system is non-existent, he has the size of a six month-old kitten, he's currently on nine different medications, is this really a life? There are so many cats looking for a good home, are we doing the right thing in keeping Patches? We also have a second cat, The Dude who is a massive gentle pet and Patches best friend. In the last few weeks he's been so so protective of him, sleeping with him to keep him warm, grooming him when he came back from the clinic, and now I think he is giving up hope too. This morning Patches is a bit brighter but I'm afraid to say anything as when I wrote the last post, just the day after he slept all day long barely getting up for food. We'll see. Stay tuned for further developments.

Looking forward to meeting you all!

Patches update

2011-05-19T14:38:00.002+01:00

Would you believe it, Patches seems to be getting better once again. The Ultimate Vet Hero has been pulling all the stops to avoid the "blue juice" as she calls it.

She's done researches, contacted specialist vets, listen to webinars and I'm sure she said a few prayers too. So with a cocktail of 9 (yes nine!) different meds a few times a day (some of those have to be given twice, three times or five!) the eye is improving and so it's his breathing. His voice is also back. No more bloody sneezes and he seems to be in better form. As his immune system is so weak (we wonder if it works at all in fact) any virus causes havoc...ulcers appearing and getting colonised by weird bacteria which take forever to clear. Anyway, lab results are back so now we have the right antibiotic which should clear the infection. She also gave him something to reduce the mucous production to minimise bronchial distress and hopefully limit bacterial growth. The eye ulcer is not infected and so it's viral. The systemic antiviral which he was on is useless for him but a topic one seems to be doing the trick. Steroids are a big no no when viral infections are ongoing but he needs something to help him cope with the stress of the situation, so again she found a suitable substitute which we are trying out now. Finally, the latest addition to the cocktail is interferon. In same cases it has be shown to eradicate one of the viruses affecting Patches. Let's hope. We are also considering food allergies but like the Ultimate Vet Hero said, it's important that he eat something and special food is not that palatable.

Thank you all for your good wishes and kind thoughts, Patches appreciates it!

I'll update again on how he's doing, but for now we are very happy!

Memories and Patches

2011-05-16T11:55:00.004+01:00

It's that time of the year where all the days have something to do with Oliver. I just read the news that a cyber friend got her BFP and she posted the pic of her FRER dated 16/5. It got my attention also because her line seems to be unevenly intense. Like it was for me. Exactly a year ago, when I got the first glimpse of the little embryo that could.

Kind of around the same time last year Patches wasn't doing too well. I suppose last year was maybe a couple of weeks earlier than now but still. We are in a rough time again with the poor little pet. It started with a teary eye. Then it worsened with sneezing blood. Antiviral, antibiotic, and anti-inflammatory meds are on his daily menu since I can remember. Together with thyroxine. He's been well for a good few months but after he got his vaccine in March (carefully considered with the Ultimate Vet Hero and decided it was best to do it) he went downhill. The Ultimate Vet Hero has made plenty of house calls, to minimise as much as possible the stress of him going to the clinic. He has an ulcer on his eye which has now spread to the lower eyelid. Probably it's the herpes virus. He's too small to have a rhinoscopy but we suspect the virus has started eroding his turbinates which may have now been colonised by some resistant bacteria. I brought him into the clinic on friday morning as he was really poor and something had to be done. The Ultimate Vet Hero took great care of him, sedated him and took X-rays which excluded tumours in the nose, and flushed his nose with saline to be able to send a sample to the lab for cultures. She used a tear-duct catheter up his nose to be as less invasive as possible. Still, his throat was so swollen he couldn't breathe on his own. But he came through. Then over the weekend I really thought is was worse and got Mike to call The Ultimate Vet Hero. We just can't keep him suffering. She came to see us on Sunday and brought some more meds, different antibiotics and local antiviral for the eye. We gave him a week to get better or as sad as it is, we feel we have to put him to sleep. The Ultimate Vet Hero is having a truly rough time at work and I really hope not to add to her plate. When/if that day will come, I know we'll both be devastated, but she gave Patches a very good year that he certainly would not have had otherwise. I'll keep you posted.

Patches today on our bed resting

Back from holidays

2011-05-14T09:53:00.004+01:00

Hellooooo! I've been off the blogland for over a week, sorry for the lack of commenting, I'll make up for it!

So we have been in Italy and the weather was great. So was the food and the daily ice-creams...Oliver loves it thereso much time outside, so many things to see and so many people to entertain him every minute of the day. Thing is, it takes a couple of days to settle in and then it's almost time to go back home... Flying is no problem, I seem to do worse than him on descend, my left ear is killing me! We had the plan to move him into his room as we returned home but a series of things happened.

First. There was was death in Mike's family and we were supposed to travel to the South-West yesterday having been back in Dublin on Wednesday.

Second. Oliver got his four months vaccinations on Thursday and it was hell. My always sweet and smiley baby turned into this inconsolable, unhappy, unrecognisable being. For two days solid. I think I cried almost as much as I had no idea what was wrong and what to do. He had no temperature, but was off his food, throwing up a good bit and crying for what felt like forever before falling asleep exhausted. Only to start it all over again when he woke up. I gave him Calpol (baby paracetamol) the night of the injections and again last night. It help immensely and I feel terrible for not giving it to him during the day, for not having called the doctor or nurseline yesterday. Today is my lovely baby again.

So Mike went on his own and I stayed at home. I managed to transform his cot into the bed (it's the Stokke system). It took me hours. Not because it was difficult but because Oliver was so so upset all day. It still is in our room, I wanted to make sure he slept well before moving it to his nursery. I am delighted to report it was a success!

I also think he's teething. He's been drooling for a while and of course he puts everything in his mouth, but then I looked at his lover gum and I saw this:

Can you see it too? It's like "fingerprints" of the lower front teeth, I never noticed them before. Maybe it's going to be a few more weeks before they appear but I feel it may have contributed to his general unhappiness...

Anyway, no more injections for two more months!

Thawing and Dude come back Anniversary

2011-05-07T09:34:00.004+01:00

We are in Italy for a long week end at my parents' but in the last few days I couldn't help thinking that Oliver last year was frozen! And today was the big thaw and transfer day. Oh God what a day that was. I not only got my lonely 6-day slow blast safely defrosted and put back into me but we also got a call the very same day that our lost kitten (the Dude!) had been seen in the neighborhood and so my idea of a relaxing weekend to give the embryo a chance went completely down the drain. You can reed about that day here. If you followed me then, you may also remember that I didn't really hold any hope about this FET. It was my sixth transfer, never got pregnant from FET, and this embryo was probably the worst one we had out of all the cycles. God I feel terrible in saying it was "the worst" one, but in fairness it was...

...and today he's 18 weeks old! Doing great, he's a perfect flyer and eats like nobody's business, I'm so truly happy and blessed.

Award time!

2011-05-03T21:23:00.003+01:00

It was ages I wasn't posting an award. I admit I got a bit lazy in the last few months and while I was of course pleased with the award I was receiving (my awesome cyber friends...I love you all!) I kind of never got around to pass them on.

Anyway, I decided enough of the nonsense and I'm back on the award game, watch out!

This one is "The Versatile Blogger" award and I got it from lostintranslation @ We say IVF they say FIV. I "found" her during this last ICLW week and I always feel so close to those who have moved Country, so go and see how she's doing in France! She had her first IVF baby in 2009 and is trying for #2.

With blog awards come rules, so here they are:

A) Grab the award: check!

B) Link back to the person who gave it to you: lostintranslation @ We say IVF they say FIV

C) Share 10 things about yourself: I'll try and say 10 new things!

1) My first boyfriend is now a priest...not much of a saint at that time, let me tell ya, but they say people change...I actually cannot think of him without a shiver...brrhhh...and thank God I've never seen him robed up since he vowed himself to celibacy or I would probably gag...

2) Within my family (old and new) we never call each other by proper name, in fact we have nicknames that change with time and it's great fun. Humans or animals your real name is soon forgotten!

3) My first pet was a dog. I was 16 and her name was Trudy.

4) One of the things that annoys me about IF is the number of years I worried about birth control and money spent on condoms! (a significant part of which with named ex-boyfriend at #1!)

5) I used to believe quite a bit in alternative therapies, now not so much.

6) I feel these blog awards are a little like those chain emails (thankfully without a threat at the end!)

7) I still follow and comment on the first blog I ever read

8) My past relationships seemed to get boring after around 3 years. This one is obviously of a different kind!

9) I got married the first time when I was 24. As per point above I turned that page at 27.

10) I'm a gadget addict though the iPad never really grabbed my attention.

D) Award 15 recently discovered blogs: this is way too many! I'll cut it down to 5...

1. Ms2Mrs...and back to Ms

2. I've got bad plumbing

3. Hopebpatient

4. Tishi

5. Mrs. Lemon

The voyage

2011-04-30T08:18:00.005+01:00

Oliver is 17 weeks today! Weaning is going very well he seems to like everything so far and it's really enjoying the whole process. In fact he's sleeping much better, no more noise at night so I think he was hungry!

Last night we went all out for an early dinner. We sat Oliver on the high-chair in the restaurant (padded with our sling! We had forgotten the stroller!)

And then a song played on the radio in the background. I wasn't paying attention really, I've always found it difficult to listen to lyrics (unless for some reason someone tells me to do so!) but Mike started singing along and said "Are you listening?". So I tuned in. It was an Irish singer (Christy Moore) who I actually really like. The song is called "The Voyage" and the lyrics are amazing (now that I listen!). The chorus goes:

Life is an ocean and love is a boat

in troubled water that keeps us afloat

when we started the voyage, there was just me and you

now gathered round us we have our own crew

Needless to say I teared up! If you have time, listen to it too. If you are there in your journey I'm sure it'll talk to you too. If you are not, know that your journey is not over.

And last night we found each other again.

Blog restyle, ICLW system, Attic and mojo

2011-04-26T11:15:00.005+01:00

Do you like my new blog look? I do! I think it looks fresh and here Spring is in the air!! Though today is a bit wet, but hey it's Ireland and we had incredible weather for so long! Come to think of it...it may have been our summer...Anyway, I realised I missed my second blogversary (April 9th) so I decided to give it a facelift and to add a thingy on the sidebar which hopefully will remind me next year.

I'm really working hard this time at ICLW. I feel I have not participated for so long I owe to the community to do my best to comment on every blog in the list. So I have a system. I started from the top and the only blogs I have not commented on are those that at the time of me reading them had not posted since the ICLW week started. You have to have a screening method or with 179 blogs on the list you'll never manage. Anyway, with two and half days to go I'm at number 90. And this is on top of my normal commenting which has also taken a turn for the better as I want to make sure I return the love and support to all of you knowing I've not been the best since Oliver arrival. And I don't want to be one of those bloggers that disappears once their miracle arrives.

And no floor went down in the attic. More preparation took place though and more defects have been discovered. So new email to the architect who will recall the builder who will come and fix it...

Finally my mojo is no where to be found. I feel as attractive as a plastic bag... not sure when this started, maybe a few weeks ago, my period is attempting to normalise but not quite there yet. I bleed for a few days, then it stops and then it's back for a couple of days only a day later. I wonder if the hormones are doing the same and upsetting my normal self so much. So it's not fun for Mike. But what can I do? It's not the baby at all, it's just my body that's upsetting my sexuality. Can't seem to shift the weight, my boobs could do with a boob job and overall I'm just flabby. Maybe it's because I've always felt very comfortable with how I looked that now that I'm not, I can't possibly see how Mike may still find me attractive. Still all worth it when I compare it with what I gained in my life, but it would be nice to get a bit of horniness back...

16 weeks, Christening and Easter!

2011-04-24T10:05:00.005+01:00

Happy Easter everyone!

My little one was 16 weeks yesterday and the Christening went very well! All of Mike's family joined us with his sister and BIL being God-parents. The ceremony on Ester Vigil was beautiful, and Oliver wore the Christening robe that Mike wore at his! Now, not my style at all but I understand traditions! Here's a pic from last night (do you see how blue his eyes still are?)

As milestones go, Oliver is now a pro at lifting his head when on his tummy! Wohoo! Still not really liking it but not crying as much. And he's definitely attempting to roll over (onto his right side) which causes major migrations in his crib and then he gets stuck quite often sideways. Quite funny to see! He's a big smiler and very chatty too! He's very interested in his toys and we think he's now intentionally grabbing things too (like my hair for example). He loves his baby rice and next week we'll start introducing sweet potatoes and then apples. One thing is that he's waking up much earlier these days, not really hungry I think, just bored to be in his crib (or stuck with his head on the side of the crib!)

And mommy yesterday had a pampering massage which was a gift of the Ultimate Vet Hero! She got one too and we had a lovely time together. Today will be a quiet day in our household, I'm pushing for the wooden floor in the attic to be put down...we'll see.

Finally, I'm loving being back on ICLW! I've already met new friends!

ICLW I'm back in business!

2011-04-21T09:29:00.003+01:00

It has been a while! Welcome readers to my blog, you can find my story on the left (it's a summary, shouldn't take too long!) and I want to finish something I started last year. In July 2010 I had used half the alphabet to say something about me. Never got around to use the other half! So here it goes.

N Neil Patrick Harris. How I didn't know he existed till a few weeks ago is something I'm actually ashamed of! I'm now a big fan and just getting over my little teenager crush (at the tender age of 36!)

O Oliver. He's my little miracle, born on New Year's Day after such a long journey! Do you see my blog lists on the right? My dream is to have all the cyber friends in the top list moving down to the second one and then to the third one.

P Patches. He's our other cat. The sick one, the one that got The Ultimate Vet Hero into our lives (see later). He's doing much better, still on medications and certainly prone to pick up anything that goes around. But he's the Dude's best buddy and we'll do everything to keep him healthy (even with no pet insurance!)

Q Quest. The quest for a child has been part of my life for the last four years.

R Research. That's what I do for a living. I am a chemical biologist and lecture in one of the Universities in Dublin. I love my job.

S September. Mike and I are both born in September. One day I got to thing that there are exactly 740 days between us.

T Tubeless. I lost both tubes due to ectopic pregnancies. I giggled when the nurse told me to "be careful" at my six-weeks post-natal appointment. But T is also for Twitter! I'm new at it but if you are there too let me know and I'll follow!

U (The) Ultimate Vet Hero. She has become a very good friend thanks to Patches's ill health. We are going out for dinners and inviting each others to our places. Husbands get on great too. She'll be moving back to California as soon as her husband gets the green card. We won't know what to do then!

V Valentina. She is my sister and Oliver's aunt. In charge of all the classical education oliver will get!

W Worry. I worry a lot. I can be of great support for others, but I don't seem to be able to do the same for myself and often I spiral down the loop of irrational fears.

X X-Factor. Do you watch it? I did last year.

Y Yoga. I had a very good teacher, loved her style, and then an absolutely awful one during my ante-natal classess. She really got on my nerves. That's not the way it shoudl be right?

Z Zoolander. It's the name of Mike's car. We thought it had a blue-steel look.

I hope to find new blogs to follow as well as new friends who follow me!

So much for a plan! (updated with video-clip!)

2011-04-20T21:49:00.003+01:00

Well, I gave in and this evening I fed Oliver a little bit of baby rice! He loved it! I am following Annabel Karmel's New Complete Baby & Toddler Meal Planner and so even though Oliver is only 15w4d old I followed my instinct and introduced baby rice (just a tea spoon) to his diet. Milk is definitely not enough. I thought it was last Saturday when I posted but nope. Last night he was very unsettled again, chewing hands and on the verge of crying. I really think he was hungry.

Today it was a struggle to get him through his normal four hours break between 210ml feed of the almost all hungry babies formula. For the last couple of weeks I actually gave him a sip of water or fennel tea between feeds when he seemed to be getting impatient. At 8pm this evening we gave him almost half a bottle of formula to make sure he wasn't starving and then we tried the rice with the spoon. We filmed this moment and we were on Skype at the same time with my parents! Would you believe it, he didn't spill a thing! The book said it probably would take a few attempts and very likely the food would have been all over (babies still have the tongue reflex which pushes against the spoon) but not my boy!

Hopefully this is going to be enough now till the 17 week mark.

Video uploaded (it took ages!!) let me know if you can see it!

15 weeks and crazy week

2011-04-16T19:05:00.005+01:00

Oliver is 15 weeks today! I was thinking lately when I was counting pregnancy weeks. It definitely didn't seem this fast! He is doing very well, we are quite good at sticking to a sleeping routine: he has a nap in the morning (generally in the pram when we are out for our walk) then I'll put him in his crib around 1.30-2pm and he can sleep between 30 mins and 2 hours. Sometimes he has another snooze around 7pm then wakes up for the last feed (between 8 and 9pm) and then back to bed for the night afterwards. In the past week we never had to do the 11pm feed, we lowered the proportion of the low lactose formula and increased the hungry babies one and he's much more satisfied. Hopefully we'll be able to delay solids of any kind for another couple of weeks as recommended. I'm really happy about this. We have also changed the teats in the bottle with a those with a bit faster flow and he seems much happier.

So my last post was on Monday and all was well.

Tuesday started very well. I got awarded grant for a project and let me tell you, these days it ain't easy. Then we got a text that MIL was rushed to hospital as she was unresponsive. I have not updated much on her situation, but after the first amputation back in November they had to operate again in February above the knee as the wound wasn't healing properly. Since then, she was moved to a rehab place (one and half hour drive from Dublin) to start physio. We went visiting her on Sunday and I didn't think she was well. She seemed very frail and weak. But happy to see us and Oliver of course, we went out for coffee and it was a nice afternoon. So the text shocked us no end. The news seemed to be that she had a stroke, probably a very mild one, and when she came round she had no speech issues and only the left arm felt a bit limp and sore. Anyway, she was sent back to the rehab place like nothing happened. I can't say enough how bad small hospitals can be...

On top of this, we had a family of four for dinner. I had prepared pizza since the day before, it was a great evening, but I was wrecked afterwards. We got our video camera and already started filming Oliver (clip will be posted in the near future!).

Wednesday The car seat arrived and Mike fitted it in his car. We went to college together and I had something like 3 meetings (while officially on maternity leave of course). Came home and headed straight to a residents' meeting. Back home around 9.30pm. Quick dinner and straight to bed.

Thursday morning was fine, Oliver and I went for a nice walk in the park and got back home at lunch time. At 2 pm the builders arrived to do work on the attic floor. Oliver didn't sleep at all and by the time they left he was in a mess. Crying, unsettled, tired but couldn't sleep...the works. At 7pm some relatives came to visit. They staid till over 9 pm. Let me just say it didn't help matters. Plus, my period showed up unexpected (24 days since the last time).

Friday I woke up after dreaming I was dead. Seriously. Can you imagine anything more depressing? But it turned out to be quite a good day. Oliver was back to is placid self, I got a lot done, The Ultimate Vet Hero came over for lunch (Patches has an ulcer in his eye, just to add to his load) and told me she'll be moving back to Cali in November. So so sad, I'll miss her a lot, I didn't think she was going to go so soon. But it means we'll definitely go visiting her in Summer 2012. On the other hand, I doubt we'll find another Vet Hero for Patches, let's hope I've learnt enough to keep him alive and well! Then our high-chair arrived wohoo!

And now it's Saturday. Let's recharge the batteries and hoping for a calmer week!

Oliver, Attic and Shopping spree!

2011-04-11T20:23:00.004+01:00

Oliver was 14 weeks on Saturday and is more and more interactive! The other morning he was looking at his right hand with great interest...moving it closer to his face, then farther away, then moving the little fingers! It was really cute! No interest in the left one though and it didn't really happened again. Still...it's progress! Tummy time is going a little better, lifting the head is no longer a struggle (not really enjoying though) and toys are much more interesting. The wooden mobile on his crib is just the best thing ever and doesn't seem to be getting tired of it at all. Sleeping has never really been an issue with him and it's getting even better. We feed him around 8pm and then we put him to bed (awake) around 9. He puts himself to sleep! We feed him again around 11.30 and then sleeps till morning. Two nights ago, we skipped the last feed as he was sleeping really soundly and he didn't wake up in the middle of the night! But...as babies do, last night we had to feed him again at 11.30. Thing is hungrier than ever and during the day I often have to add anther 30 mL to the 210 he's taking! So we are getting ready to give him something more...I know guidelines recommend no solids before 17 weeks (and the paed said to start then) but I'm of the opinion that a little spoon baby rice is not going to do him any harm. He's already on the "hungry baby" variety of formula (since he was around 8 weeks I think) and we mix that with a low lactose prep but we are reducing this significantly as it's not half as filling.

Anyway, I'll hold off certainly till the end of the week and effectively I'm planning not to give him any other type of solids before 17 weeks. Somewhat of a compromise.

The Attic saga is still not over. Mike met with the builder and architect and came to a satisfactory agreement over the items we weren't happy with. So he's coming back to try and fix whatever he has to fix and we obviously cannot put down the wooden floor till then. Let's hope we'll have it sorted by the end of the summer...you see, my mom and sister have kindly offered to come up in September (two weeks each) so that we can delay putting Oliver in the creche till October. So if we have the house finished everyone will have more space and independence.

And shopping. Oh my God it's so so fun shopping for baby stuff. As you may remember, I didn't buy anything while I was pregnant for the fear of jinxing the miracle (totally stupid but I can't turn back the clock) so we have lots of little things to get. I bought today a high-chair! And a weaning book with recipes till toddler age! Plus two boxes of organic baby rice, spoons and a bowl with a suction device at the bottom. And Mike ordered a car seat as Oliver is growing out already of the bassinet we were kindly given for his car. Tomorrow we are also getting our hands on the camcorder Mike ordered from the States and I can't wait to make a video diary of Oliver's progress!

Twitter and Modern Family

2011-04-04T09:32:00.003+01:00

Oh boy...isn't Twitter addictive?? Very much so! Funnily enough I have the impression than when celebs tweet (ok....ok... you got me...I only really mean ONE celeb ah!) it's as if they actually talk to me! Somehow it makes them more like "normal" people. I had a very nice conversation with The Ultimate Vet Hero who's now become a very good friend, she is from Cali and definitely much more into showbiz than me and she said how strange it is to imagine that actors are in fact real people, with friends and things to do. Granted their friends are likely to be other celebrities, but sure they must have also non-celeb friends from their pre-celeb life right?

Anyway, I decided to use Twitter also for Ectopic Pregancy Ireland. It has been a great success, all the Irish radio stations I have contacted have retweeted my message and this has generated a nice cascade of retweets! Hopefully we'll be able to reach out even further!

I'm still not very skilled with Twitter, just know the basics, but for now that's all I need!

Thank you for all your suggestions on what to watch while waiting for new episodes of HIMYM. To get another Neil Patrick Harris fix I had a look at Doogie Howser MD. It was never aired in Italy so it was new to me. Well. I watched the first episode (in fact the first few mins) and no no no no, he's way too young there!! Cute maybe, but not my style! Never liked younger guys, may never be a cougar LOL! So I skipped to the last episode of the show....mmhh still not transitioned from cute to hot... and still too young!

I'll just have to wait I suppose! On this topic, my friend Valery pointed me in the direction of another blogger who very recently had posted on her blog about "Secret Celebrity Boyfriend" I truly recommend the post as it's hilarious and made me think I want to do a similar one soon!

In the quest for another sit-com, I had watched a good few episodes of The Big Bang Theory, but it's not so much my cup of tea, so I started watching Modern Family and I love it!! Took a while to get used to the hand-held shooting style which generally I don't like, but now I'm on a binge!

Finally a quick update on the attic. We have cleared the area (put away all the boxes into storage space under the roof) and we are ready to put the floor down. If it wasn't for the fact that we noticed the underfloor is extremely uneven in one position...so meeting with the architect and builder this week...

3 months check up and "Other Insanities"!

2011-03-31T23:06:00.006+01:00

Oliver is ging to be 3 months tomorrow!! AAwwwwhhhhh!!! So we went for our 12 weeks check (or closer to 13 weeks check!) today. He weighs 6.2 kg and is 61cm long! He's growing very well and everything looks good! His head control is very good, he's alert and smiling to anyone who smiles at him! The torticollis is improved significantly and even the flatness on the head is of no concern at all as it's minimal and will definitely resolve itself. The little belly button is also improving (there was a little hernia which is reducing spontaneously) and the paed was delighted.

I asked a few questions:

He's a very hungry baby. He would feed 210 ml (7 oz) 4 times a day and around another 150 ml in his sleep (we feed him around 11.30 pm and he doesn't really wake up). She said "Wow!". So I've been given the go ahead to start introducing some solids in 6 weeks time (recommended time would be 6 months but there's no way we get that far). Exciting times ahead! She also doesn't think the night grunting is hunger (we never pick him up, I just caress him and give him his soother) but that maybe he's picked up a bit of a habit which hopefully won't last much longer.

We had that one incident where the AngelCare alarm went off for the first warning (15 sec no movement). She said as it was a single event there's nothing to worry about, 15 sec of no movement is at the high end of normal for a baby and unless it happens a few more time she believes it's not a problem. She was great and explained all the types of apnoeas and has excluded Oliver has any of those. He's heart and lungs checked out perfectly which is reassuring.

It is ok to delay the 4 month vaccination for a couple of weeks (we are going to Italy wohoohoo!!).

In the spot where he got the vaccine the last time there is a little lump (which is already much smaller). Again totally normal, and I knew it was normal but my mom insisted I asked! So there you go.

So that's it for my little man! Next check will be at 6 months.

And I'm planning my summer holidays for 2012. California here we come!! So cyber friends out there, if you would like to meet up I'd be only delighted! We are thinking of June, 3 weeks. Details to be ironed out but it's a very real possibility. So...did I not say I wanted to have another go at ICSI in September? Still planning to do so, but to freeze and give Oliver the time he deserves with mommy and daddy all for himself.

And how am I doing on my crush on Neil Patrick Harris? Well...maybe a bit better...no posters on the wall or anything like it LOL! But still looking forward to the next episode of HIMYM (of course I've already watched all the interviews I found, bloopers, the Glee episode in which he acted and all his tweets....ok, still at the deep end...). Meanwhile I'm watching The Big Bang Theory but not enjoying it as much.

This weekend is going to be dedicated to the attic. Yeah I know...still not finished... But really, this weekend has to be the one!

Daydreaming

2011-03-27T23:38:00.007+01:00

Do you guys remember how last year during my pregnancy I watched all the series of Grey's Anatomy back to back as I had never followed it before? It was an addiction. I think I may have posted at one point that I actually dreamt of a completely new episode! If you never had a full immersion in something like this you may not understand...but I actually felt I knew the characters and it was like a parallel life where I was living in Seattle! Anyway, that kept me away from constantly worrying about the pregnancy, but like a true addiction I couldn't stop till the last episode! And then I had withdrawal symptoms too.

Well....it happened again, I have found a new thing I had never seen before...currently in its sixth season....so a lot of episodes to watch. How I Met Your Mother. Again, how on hearth I didn't see it it's beyond me. Somehow it fits in perfectly with Oliver's schedule, episodes are only 20 mins or so, so they are great. And oh my God I sooooo love it. I've already watched all the series and so I'm up to date. A confession. I know next to zero about actors and stuff so of course, being totally taken by Barney I checked out who the actor was (I know I know...) and of course I found out he's gay, in a happy relationship and recently had twins from a surrogate mother!! How cute is that?? But it did ruin Barney for me bohooooo... There should be a rule that hot actors playing womanising roles have to be straight...who has not met a Barney in their life raise a hand. I have met at least two. Ah the young me....it was great fun. So I really enjoyed that character, of course imagining myself there too with the others. Those kind of friendships are much more common in Italy, the flirting, the group dynamics, the stories etc. Not such a thing in Ireland. I miss that a lot and there's nobody who I can even talk to about it as I know they wouldn't really understand. So of course I know it's fiction but still. Like a good book, I tend to be part of it, living it. And it's as if I'm 17 again dreaming of meeting accidentally an actor or a singer on the bus and having a conversation (which depending on the case would have evolved in different ways eh eh). Wouldn't it be nice? Because for me of course the actor equals the character. But in this case I'd really love to meet the actor too. I've the impression he's nice in real life too. So I'm following him on Twitter. Hence I'm a new Twitter user. My sister is still laughing at me. 36 going on 17.

But what the hell... a girl can dream, right?

Ectopic Pregnancy Ireland: The Launch

2011-03-25T22:23:00.002Z

We did it!!!

The evening went great, we had a doctor and a midwife from two different Dublin hospitals giving talks and both put a lot of effort into it. Several people came to the event (from as far as the west of Ireland) it felt amazing. I got all emotional when J did the opening speech....she talked about how we got together and how far we have come. She read a message written on our Facebook page by a girl who had seen the interview I mentioned in my last post and said it had saved her life a week later. The project has already saved a life. One of the ladies who came to the event had an ectopic herself but she also is a nurse in hospital in Galway and said she would love for one of us to go over there and talk to the them to raise awareness. I'd love to do it.

If you have time, have a look at our FB page, we have posted pics of the evening (Mike was the official photographer) and I would be ever grateful if you could leave a brief message, we need it to increase visibility.

The next step is to raise money through the Dublin mini-marathon. I did not participate last year (I was pregnant) and I'm totally out of shape this year, but I think I may have two people who could be running it for me.

And yesterday my article was published at My Destination Family as I was asked a few month back to write about the person who supported me the most through this infertility journey. With no esitation I chose Mike.

Back

2011-03-22T23:21:00.002Z

We are back! As I sat on the plane, holding Oliver, I felt the urge to "reassure" the guy sitting next to me that on the way over Oliver slept all the time. No one likes sitting beside a child on a plane. I certainly didn't and now I'm at the receiving end of the look that says "oh my God please please please move along ...no no no no no....damn...just my luck...". Thankfully he was once again the perfect baby.

Another thing is back. My period! 30 days after the last bleed. Good old body is still working as if it mattered. It feels good though to be back to normal. I hope this will help loosing the weight. I'm not progressing at all in that sense, I still have the same 7-8 kg to shift. I walk, I eat next to nothing, thyroid functioning fine...I wonder if this is the new me forever.

Next week I'll start yoga again.

This Thursday there is a big big big event. The official launch of Ectopic Pregnancy Ireland. I cannot believe I have been of so little help right when the charity needed it most. The girls have organised everything, it's going to be great. A few weeks ago two of them went on national Tv for a short interview and raising awareness. Since then our FB page got may more hits and we have been able to reach out to several women. I am so excited and so proud of what we (mostly they!) have done. I'll post about it at the end of the week.

11 weeks (Italian Style!)

2011-03-19T08:39:00.003Z

Hello my friends! I'm still in Italy and although I managed to read your blogs I didn't comment much (please forgive me!) and didn't post anything of my own news.

Everything is great, the trip was no bother at all for little Oliver who slept practically all the time. I was very lucky that I didn't have to bring any gear with me, car-seat, stroller, swing-chair etc were all kindly offered by my sister's friends and my parents had bought a travel-cot. I carried Oliver in my fab sling and off we went.

The first night at my parents' was a bit rough but after that he settled in like he'd always been here! The torticollis is definitely improving, we do a bit of exercise every day but it seems that he's turning the head to the left in a more natural way on his own too. Still hates tummy time and still absolutely adores bath time. I suppose you can't win everything ah! We bought here and inflatable baby tub which will double as small pool this summer, it's fantastic, I'd never seen one before and totally recommend it!

Oliver loves to splash, shake his legs, stretch and generally moves a lot when in the tub so with this one there's no risk of him hitting a hard surface with his head! It fits in the normal tub too.

The Snuza is a great peace of mind, it was one of the best thing I bought for sure. I forgot to mention that last week, when we were still in Ireland, the AngelCare did alarm one morning...it was only the first "bip" (15 seconds of no movement) after which I clearly heard Oliver taking a deep breath! So I have to remember to mention this to the paed at the 12 weeks check-up. Likely to have been a one off, but still. There are cases of sleep apnea in Mike's family, so better to keep an eye on it.

And I went to see my "old" psychologist and it went really really well. She also said that the way I feel is totally "normal" after all I have been through. It was to be expected in fact. So we started working on my anxiety and I am already much better. Interestingly, she explained how bleeding gives the impression to the body that it's dying and so there is this connection between life and death linked to Oliver's birth, even though rationally I never feared I was dying, but that Oliver could have died. It's only at the subconscious level, but as Oliver was part of me, I tend to focus at the moment more on death than life and this causes my anxiety. Time will be the best healer as the cells "forget" the scary scenario and reprogramme themselves to focus on what every organism does best which is living (and think positively about life). She recommended to keep supplementing my diet with iron (even though my heamoglobin is back to normal) to speed up the process. She actually used this phrase after I described my last 4 years "you swallowed a lot of death". Scary! But it will get better and better. I'm glad I went. I'll go again when I came back in May and meanwhile she gave me her Skype address if I need it! Ah...technology.

Mike then arrived on wednesday and we celebrated our fourth anniversary on thursday. What a journey...Three years ago we were in Japan having our belated honeymoon and it's absolutely shocking what has happened there. My friend and her family in Tokyo are ok but she said it's horrific. Japan, you can do it and will get through this. Last year on the 16th I had my life changing hysteroscopy and this year we brought our miracle to meet his great-grandmother. Life is certainly full of twists and turns.

Only 3 more days and we'll fly back to Dublin....bohoooo! Already missing the fab food...just as well I'll be back here in 6 weeks! I'm checking out now, love to you all my cyber-friends.

Torticollis and other updates

2011-03-09T16:53:00.002Z

Yesterday was the last day of the baby massage course. We did back massages and all the babies were in their tummies. Oliver hates it so even though I try every day to do some tummy time it's a struggle. Every other baby in the class was holding up the head like nobody's business. My little one was flat on the mat chewing his hand. Ok the others are a bit older but there was also the baby who was born just a day earlier also lifting his head (not as high as the others admittedly). Of course I know that we shouldn't compare, Oliver was 3 weeks premature, but this is in addition to the fact that I noticed he tends to keep his head always to one side. He sleeps with the head to right, sits in his rocking chair looking to his right (it doesn't matter much if we are on the other side, he may turn his eyes but not his head) etc. This is surely worsen by the fact that Mike and I are both right-handed so when we change/feed him it always happens that we are to his right. When he's upright he has a great head control, since he was just a few days old, so it's not like he has no strength. Anyway, his head is also getting a bit flat on the side in question and I decided to make an appointment with the paed suspecting torticollis. And sure enough...He said that it's very mild but gave me a couple of exercises to do to lengthen the muscle to the right of his neck. At the 12 weeks appointment we'll see if it's improving. Early intervention is the absolute best even though generally by the time they sit up it will correct itself in most cases. He also weighed Oliver and my little Buddha is just shy of 5 kg (4.96 kg to be exact!) and doing very well with everything else. He's very alert and smiley! His belly-button is still out as there is a small hernia (extremely common if the baby was a but early) but it will go in with time.

In other news, last friday I went into work because one of my students was defending her PhD thesis (she did great!) and so Mike was in charge of the precious bundle...we all did very well I'm proud to say!

My anxiety also seems to be subsiding, aided by the uplifting effect that the good weather inevitably has, and I look forward to my trip to Italy on friday! Oh and I started watching "How I met your mother" which is hilarious and just what the doctor ordered eheh

Finally I'm so happy for fellow bloggers who are now pregnant after a long journey, your fears and nightmares are normal (here's the expert talking!) try and enjoy this part if you can but, even if you don't, don't be too hard on yourself, we've been through hell (a few times may I add), it's only normal to dread possible bad news because for us that's the way it's been most of the time. That is what was normal. Hugs to all of you.

My dream is to have all those currently in my "We can do it!" blog-list moved into the other two categories, I'm confident that one by one (or two by two!) we'll all be at this side of the fence. One way or another.

Vaccine number 2: check!

2011-03-03T18:18:00.004Z

My brave little soldier took the two shots this morning like a trouper. He cried a little but was fast asleep before I exit the doctor's office!

I want to thank you all for reassuring me that I'm not insane, it felt really nice reading your comments. When I talked to the doctor this morning, she didn't seem to think there was nothing out of the ordinary. Yes, maybe I better keep an eye that the anxiety is not escalating further but at this level is still normal. So I'm not sure what to do, her only recommendation was to "fight back" the dark thoughts with the rationality I have, to surround myself with positive people and to believe it will get better. Sounds simple.

On tuesday I also talked to my friend at the baby-massage class (which I totally love!) and I felt much better afterwards. She said it's possible that all the stress accumulated in the last two years with infertility first and the ectopics that followed may be coming down all at once now. Everyone kept saying to me all along how strong I was and where did I find the strength to keep going etc. I also wondered that myself as I'm no superwoman at all, so perhaps was just a coping mechanism then which I don't need now and all the insecurity is hitting at once. I think I need to re-find my solid ground though. I will go to see the psychologist I went to for a short while when I go back home next week. Just in case she has some other helpful tips to add to the doctor's. I'm optimistic I'll get over this, but I definitely felt very concerned I had myself into a loop since I got pregnant and not really coming out...it felt like a long time of anxiety!

Oh by the way...the Snuza arrived ehehe

8 weeks and anxiety creeping in...

2011-02-26T11:56:00.005Z

...well...creeping in is an understatement actually. I'm exactly where I was during the pregnancy, worried sick something may go wrong. Of course I read very sad stories which I just have to stop doing because obviously I can't help but putting myself in the same place and having nightmares for days. This is not healthy at all. I cannot stop tragedies from happening, I can do all I can to limit the risks but no more. I know this rationally, so why I cannot just relax and enjoy this precious miracle instead than fearing he may die any minute?

I need help I know. Cyber-friends I shared my feelings with said they were not surprised at all I had anxieties of this kind. They all went through various level of irrational thoughts, which apparently comes with motherhood, and in most cases had a "natural" pregnancy with no infertility attached, let alone ectopic pregnancies or traumatic birth. So I should have known, in fact I should have been prepared. I wasn't. I don't want to be one of those mothers that never let the son go out in case he has an accident. I would hate myself and certainly I was always allowed a significant level of freedom (I went on several holidays on a superfast motorbike for God's sake...). So as I will bring Oliver to the doctor next week for his 2 months vaccination (two months!!) I'll talk to her and see if she can refer me to a therapist.

Meanwhile I bought another monitor...for travelling to Italy in March...as I can't bring my Angelcare sensor system...so I got myself a Snuza (thanks Tireegal!) and I hope it'll help.

Oliver is doing great, putting on weight, sleeping through the night (though grunting from 5am till 8!) loving his bath and smiling more regularly! He hates being on his tummy so we don't do it much at all. He's now very happy to be without a nappy (he used to cry a lot when changed, I thought he didn't like to be naked!). The dirty nappies have totally ended, in fact we went to the other side of the scale with a day with no poo at all!! ...which of course had me worrying the other way as he seemed unsettled! Till he pooed for Ireland...

Here's my little man growing

Bath time!

Oh no! Is it over already?

I'll just dream of the next one then!

Weekly check

2011-02-22T16:58:00.004Z

Oliver's weight is now 4.28 kg! So he's doing really well. I still have not weighed myself as I'm sure I have not lost a gram...

In other news, I brought my left over meds to the clinic this afternoon, no point in letting them elapse in my fridge, I'll get them fresh when it'll be time again. I saw my Fav Doctor and told her about the histology results on the placenta, she also didn't think much at all about it, probably the diminished fluids were to be blamed, she said that if there was an infection they would have investigated what bacterium caused it and above all I'd have had sings. That's it then, no more worrying! I asked also about maybe doing a hysteroscopy before going again and she doesn't think there is the need as the procedure is "clean" meaning it doesn't leave tissues back and she added "you had so many surgeries already we'll definitely try to spare you another one!"

She also agrees with Dr. L on the time really needed between pregnancies after a c-section, but she feels that as soon as Oliver will be more interactive I'll be much more absorbed by him so we may push our next attempt a bit further down the line.

I still think I'd like to go again by the end of the year though...

Remember the spotting?

2011-02-20T11:49:00.002Z

....well...it turned into a full on bleed!! So I think I got my period back!It's heavy and I have cramps like the old days...I obviously didn't recognise the familiar headache I had a couple of days ago either. If I had even a faint chance of conceiving naturally, this would mean we should be careful....ahahahhah ...let me say it again...ahahahahah! Yes out of my system now.

Oliver was 7 weeks yesterday and I count that at CD1, just for the calendar of course so that I can guess when I'll need to be ready the next time.

Body. Reset.

An answer of some kind

2011-02-18T18:14:00.003Z

Yesterday I called my OB's office to see if he received the histology report on my placenta as I hand't heard back from him. The secretary said not all results were in but that Dr. L would check with the lab and let me know. By dinner time he hadn't called and I figured he would call today instead. But he did call! Around 9.30pm! Isn't he a great doctor? Anyway, he said that there was nothing particularly outstanding in the report, no blood clots and no calcifications. Mmhh. That kind of ruled out our/mine main causes for IUGR and diminished fluids...but he did say that there were signs of inflammation which would be explainable if the waters had in fact started leaking a few days earlier (inflammation is the first response to infection or irritation, I had no fever, waters were clear so I don't think I had an infection). If anyone knows more on this please let me know, there's only so much you can find on Google and being at home I have no access to medical literature!

He said that in my next pregnancy they will monitor more closely the blood flow to the placenta throughout the third trimester so that if there's a sign of deterioration it'll be picked up quickly. I have to say though that it's not like my placenta wasn't checked, I had a scan less than 3 weeks before things looked suddenly serious, and at that time everything was as good as it could be, including fluid levels so I guess it was just one of those (scary) things.

Oh, and I may have said to soon I was done with the bleeding....grrr had some more spotting!!

Next week I'll pop into my clinic and see if I could talk to my Fav Doctor, I wonder if I had inflammation of the membranes if it's better to have a hysteroscopy before going again, just to make sure all is good to go...you know, I'm prone to things going awfully wrong if my uterus isn't in perfect conditions!

The end of the bleed!

2011-02-16T18:04:00.006Z

I just wanted to mark this day on my blog for the records as I'm no longer bleeding as of this morning!! woohooo! So it lasted 6 weeks and a half. Next step will be getting my period back, we'll see how long that will take.

Also, yesterday I started a baby massage course which I absolutely love! My friend who had a baby with IVF in November (remember she was 45 at the time and managed to use her own eggs!) recommended it to me as she started the previous week. I love the teacher and we'll be doing baby yoga also in a few weeks. Incidentally, I also met there one of the girls who was doing the pre-natal yoga with me, she had her baby one day before me and she didn't like that yoga teacher either!!

Oliver didn't particularly enjoyed being undressed ehm ehem and being massaged, but I think it may have been also because he was hungry! And actually, since we switched to a lower-lactose formula he's much much better so I'm happy that was the problem.

He seems to have found his hands also! Isn't he cute?

Yummy!

6 weeks check ups!

2011-02-12T11:43:00.004Z

Little Oliver is 6 weeks today and doing great!

We both went for our check up on thursday. Dr. L was very happy to see me and said my scar has healed perfectly. He didn't have the histology report on my placenta which may have been sent to Dr. Wonderful so he'll trace it back and call me next week. We chatted a bit about why the placenta may have stopped working, but till we can see the lab results it's just a guessing work. So we'll wait. He said that if there were some clots formed we may considerer taking aspirin all the way through the next pregnancy and have closer monitoring (which is just music to my ears...I'm addicted to hospitals and doctors I discovered!) with doppler scan done routinely (although I am quite sure the blood flow in the umbilical artery was ok till the very end...but maybe not the flow from me to the placenta, I don't know). Anyway....did you see me talking already bout the next pregnancy??

Sooooo it was in fact Dr. L who brought this up asking if we were thinking of doing IVF again to give Oliver a little sibling. I said we were but we didn't know time-wise if there were restrictions due to the c-section. You read loads of different opinions, some say you have to wait a year before conceiving again, other 18 months...so as I'm not getting any younger and we don't have any frozen embryos left I was a bit concerned I'd simply sun out of time.

Amazingly he said that in fact you read all of the above, but that the scar in the uterus doesn't change any more after 3 months from the surgery and that at that point it is as good as it's ever going to be. So the recommended amount of time between two pregnancies is not related at all to the type of delivery, just mostly to when someone is ready to go again. This was absolutely fantastic to hear. I think I realised that I would like to have another baby, to enjoy the pregnancy this time but I also want to give Oliver all the attention he deserves. As we will never have an accidental pregnancy I wonder if we could go for a cycle this summer and just freeze the embryos for the future. I know it's a gamble and I'll probably be worried about the fact that when we do the transfer, say in a year to 18 months from now they either don't survive or it's a BFN I'll be even older for more treatments then...Anyway, we'll think about it and it's nice to know that the guidelines here are suiting me just better!

Next Oliver went for his check up and passed with flying colours. His muscular tone is right on track and so is his weight and head control. I asked about the dirty nappies (I thought they were improving but not really) and the doctor thinks that as he never had any temperature or any other kind of discomfort it's probably not a virus at all at this point but just his body struggling a bit to process all the lactose he's taking in. He had a point when he said we'd be having diarrhoea too if we were drinking 9-10 litres of milk a day in proportion to our body weight! So we'll try a different formula with lower lactose content and see how it goes.

I had forgot to mention in my last post that I went to the clinic with Oliver last tuesday! Of course I called ahead to see when was the best time to drop by when no patients would have been around. I'd been there to long not to know how painful it is to see other people's babies even if they have gone through IF. You can hear the evil voice in your head saying you may just fall at the other side of the statistics...

It was so emotional being there again, but in a good way. Everyone wanted to hold Oliver and I took a pic of the Favourite Doctor with him!

Again, I felt the comfort of being there, the familiarity of the place and the people that made our miracle a reality for us and never gave up on hope. It's as if I miss it all. Of course they all look forward to seeing me soon again! They also told me that they are moving location in the next two months as they have outgrown the facilities there. Shock! I won't be going back to the same place which was so so convenient as it was just on the way to work...so it was great to hear the new building is even more conveniently located for us, maybe it's a sign we won't have so much heartbreak the next time!

Finally yesterday I brought Oliver into work and had great (social) time with colleagues at lunch and coffee (ah!! the coffee!! It was ages I din't have a *bucks Caramel Macchiato!). I really do miss adult interaction...

Quick update!

2011-02-08T22:52:00.010Z

Just a quick note for the record, today Oliver weighed 3.76 kg! Perfectly on track gaining just over 200g a week! And last night slept through the night! We are definitely making progress here! But no progress on the smile front boohooo....

Anyway, today was my second day out on the road with the little man and it went great. Like most children he loves been in a car and sleeps most of the time. And where did we go? But to return the breast pump naturalment! But it so happens that the place also sells the cutest funkiest things for babies and mommies alike...and I couldn't resist. I bought BIB CLIPS to give to my friends who had babies or about to have babies, for all of them is their second child so I wasn't sure about getting more baby clothes. This is something they definitely don't have and I think it's really cute! Of course I got one for Oliver too!

Then they were also selling this bean bag for children suitable from new born....I had to get one...and it was expensive but I haven't really bought anything for Oliver other than bottles, soothers and other consumables....so I felt it was ok to go a bit mad on this one!

It goes really well with our lime armchairs LOL!

And finally, as the nursery is still completely bare a part from the changing table, a chair and my bedside locker (on one side we didn't have the time to have it embellished with child things with the renovation and all, on the other I wasn't sure what to get!) I got a wall-paper border to put on the walls! It's something!

This also reminds me that I never posted pics of the Attic project...but stay with me, Mike just finished the grouting in the bathroom at the weekend! And we still have a good bit to go...as Mike said, the other little project came a bit early...so this one has taken the back seat!

Almost a smile! 5 week old

2011-02-05T16:41:00.003Z

I really think this morning Oliver smiled at me! I gave him the night feed and then Mike this morning got up and fed him so that I could sleep in, and then when I got up and saw Oliver he almost smiled seeing me!! So so cute!

Anyhow, all is good here, Oliver still has a good few dirty nappies during the day but doesn't seem to be too bothered. He's awake for much longer periods (which freaks Mike out as he doesn't know what to do with him yet!) and still very happy and sweet. Now that I'm home alone all day I do feel quite tired by the time is evening and Mike is still learning how to put on the reusable nappies...so not really able to be on his own with Oliver for a few hours yet. Sure if he was spending more time maybe his confidence would also improve...we re working on it.

My mom as already booked a new flight to come and stay with us for another couple of weeks, I never thought I'd be feeling this way but I can't wait to have some company and help. I have come to totally admire those mothers who have twins and are on their own. Hats off to you all girls, I have no idea how you managed!

A bit happening next week. I have my 6 weeks check up on thursday and I'll try to book Oliver's check up on the same day. Mike on the other hand is playing football...ah well. I'll also go to the clinic probably monday or tuesday so that the Favourite Doctor can meet the little man and I may ask incidentally when can we talk again about things and future moves...

Breast feeding or expressing has officially stopped. So another thing I'll do next week is to return the pump. I'm glad I tried. I am even gladder I stopped when I realised it was ruining my time with Oliver. So on with the bottles! And here's a pic of my little boy for you all.

The little aviator sleeping

An Irish Funeral and other news

2011-02-03T14:03:00.005Z

I don't think I have ever posted about Irish funerals. They are something else.

Unfortunately we had to attend one on Tuesday. I had mentioned here that there was bad news in Mike's family about two relatives. One was fine but we knew the other one would not have gotten any better. He had battled cancer for 8 years and eventually lost the fight. As Mike's family is from a small town in Ireland, relations are very close. In this case, I also had met the whole family (Mike's cousin) and got very attached to the children. The eldest daughter even stayed with us a couple of years ago during her transition year and has just started college in Dublin.

So when we got the news that the father had passed away I wanted to be there for them.

As always it was heartbreaking. This one of course was a closer relationship but I don't know how his teenager son managed to give a speech at the end of the ceremony which had everyone there in tears. Oliver slept most of the time and when he woke up for a feed it was a great distraction for the family and soothed the pain a little.

And somehow Oliver picked up a tummy bug the poor chicken so he's having loads of dirty nappies and is a bit unsettled. He's feeding well though so no concern about dehydration and no temperature which is good but the paediatrician (which I called to be on the safe side) gave me indication on how much paracetamol I should give him if the temperature rises a bit. Hopefully not. Apparently it can last a week or even longer, but I'm hoping he'll fight it off sooner!

I also bought myself a sling!! I got the Hoppendiz second hand one and already wearing it loads!! It's fantastic!! So next week I'm definitely getting the Calin Bleu one and I'll post pics soon!

Seeds heating pad and Slings

2011-01-31T11:38:00.005Z

The seeds heating pad got some (well deserved!!) interest in my last post and I realised it wasn't that clear what I was talking about to some of you so I'm dedicating part of this post to explain better and give some links.

I bought this pad in a nature shop, it's practically a cotton-made bag which is filled with some kind of seeds. It could be oat, or barley or wheat in my case, but I have seen them filled with cherry stones or corn (not the "pop" kind of corn!). They are very popular here but if you don't find one you can make it yourself. I found this great link (actually...Mike found it and put it among my bookmarks!) and I'm posting here some random pics to give you an idea of what mine looks like.

This one is actually sold here and it's really similar to the one I have.

These are made by Katie, check out her blog here she gives also awesome guidelines!

Katie's ones have vertical stitches which are great to keep the seeds more uniformly distributed but in that case you have to make sure not to overfill the sections or they can be a bit uncomfortable. Overfilling makes also the bag quite heavy and in my opinion not suitable if you use it with small children.

The one I have is not specific for babies at all but as it doesn't have vertical stitches I can shift the seeds inside to one side leaving the part which I put on Oliver's tummy a bit lighter.

If you make it yourself, have a look at the various seeds that you can use. My advice is not to go for corn or cherry stones as they are a bit too rough. Smaller seeds is the way to go! When I use it for Oliver I only warm mine in the microwave for a minute, then I shake the seeds to make sure the heat is uniformed and the right temperature. I'm going to add a couple of drops of lavender oil to the bag (after heating it) and see if it's even better! Do let me know how you get on!

Next on the list of things I want to get is a sling. There is such a variety it took me ages to learn pros and cons of them and make some sort of decision! I think I'm set on a stretchy wrap which apparently lasts a little less than a woven one weight-wise but it's easier to start with and a bit lighter. I have found a second hand one for a great price (Hoppediz brand) but I'm in love with a French one which apparently is the ultimate stretchy sling lasting as long as the woven ones (JPMBB do check this out the demo video is cool!) but way more expensive! Alternatively I like a microfleece one which I think suits Irish weather perfectly but probably not so much Italy (Calin Bleu brand). This one has the great advantage of being water repellent and very very light (and cheap!). Do you have a sling? Can you tell me how you are getting on with it?

4 weeks update!

2011-01-29T11:33:00.005Z

It's just the three of us as of yesterday. Mom went home and I miss her very much already. Being home with Oliver is nice but I miss adult conversation a lot (so warning, don't phone or I'll keep you on the line for hours!!). Mike has stepped up though and he's helping greatly. Last night we were all in the living-room, Mike and I on the couch, Patches on my lap and the Dude on an armchair...and Oliver sleeping in his rocking seat...was I dreaming? I still don't have many memories of the pregnancy (also I'm not really thinking about it much) but I am soaking up every second of motherhood. I remember everything vividly starting from when I saw Oliver for the first time. It was all so so worth it.

Milk production seems to be decreasing now (only 30mL total yesterday). Ah well. Honestly. Ah well. I don't know why it didn't increase like all the websites tell you. I don't know why nothing seemed to help. I'll give him all I get and hope it'll be better than nothing. Like some of you have told me, I now have this sickening feeling when I pump. Not worth it.

But on the other hand....I have found a nice solution for the colics! I don't know why this is not widely advertised as it's so so simple! We have one of those seeds-filled pad, the ones you heat up in the microwave...Oh my God, it works like a charm...the one we have is rod shaped, I heat it for a minute max (obviously making sure it's warm but not hot) and I wrap it around his tummy...it's an instant relief!! Now we put it on his tummy after every feed and he's the happiest baby you can imagine! So let me know if you try it out and works for you too.

Yesterday we also went for Oliver's first shot. He was very good! Cried very little, and was happy again as soon as I gave him a cuddle, we got out of the doctor's office and you wouldn't have said he had been pricked! All the other babies seemed to need bottles or boobs once out of the office to calm down. Oh my little champion...a trouper like his mamma!

So it's 4 weeks since the section and I feel very well. I still have a bit of bleeding (but when does it end??) which in the last week or so was giving me the impression it was almost ending only to pick up again later in the day. Mmh. It's very little, a panty-liner is more than enough but it's seems I've been bleeding forever! Let me know your experience.

Oliver's passport is on the way also! Can you believe that the pic we took for it is going to last 3 years?? He's already changed so much I can't believe they'll recognise him through the photo in three years!

Passport pic!

Growing!

2011-01-25T18:47:00.004Z

I wish I could hug you all. Tanks so much again for the kind comments. I should have clarified that I'm taking also the domperidone (plus specific multivitamines, plus fenugreek, plus fennel tea etc) but it hasn't really made a difference. I am not breastfeeding (Oliver never latches on for more than 2 minutes without getting frustrated) so all I get (and he gets) is a couple of oz per day purely by pumping, and I pump till the last drop comes out. It doesn't make any difference how many time a day I pump...if I pump 5 times I still get the same total volume and I realised I can get it in one go in the evening. Despite such a miserable milk supply I have a leaky boob in the morning (the left one!) which would make you think it's full but let me assure you it isn't. I've pumped immediately after noticing a leak only to be greatly disappointed (it starts off promising and it simply runs out of milk after a few minutes...and the flow is something like a drop every 2-3 sucking motions...yes that disappointing). But like you all said, I'm doing the best I can, I won't loose sleep over it, when I'll have had enough of this I'll just give it up.

And little Oliver is growing steadily!! Today weight check was 3.28kg! He piled up 300g in a week and that's perfect. The nurse was very impressed with how alert he is and his head control and gave me some tips to help the trapped air coming out (mostly massaging techniques). On friday we have the first vaccine shot (BCG) so hopefully it'll go well. No update on my weight as I didn't manage to weigh myself since the last time...ehm ehem...

Finally we have done his birth certificate!! After some debate we did put Elvis as third name also...it meant so much to us I thought we had to keep it...and actually we really love the meaning of the name which is "wise" but also is "the wise friend of the elves" in some Scandinavian fairy-tail (Circus Princess, if you read this, let me know if it's true!). So his full name is Oliver Daniel Elvis. Passport application is also ready to go, just waiting for his Personal Public Service number to arrive in the post.

That's it for now, I must post some updated photos soon!

Due date today and yet...

2011-01-23T14:20:00.004Z

and yet we have the little one with us three weeks already!

He's doing very well, growing at the speed of light and he's still so so good. My milk is no where improving in quantity, I've been pumping 3 weeks solid almost and my daily collection doesn't go above 50-60mL (a couple of oz.). I'm taking anything that can help and still it doesn't help. So I'm about to call it a day. I have the pump till the middle of February when the month rental elapses and I'm sure I'm going to return it. We have to be happy. I have to be happy. While I'm constantly disappointed after pumping. Sure I put on a brave face saying "well at least is something" meaning half what he takes in a single feed...or "seems a bit better than yesterday..." while I know it isn't. I thank you all for your kind advices but I do need permission to stop sometime soon...

Dad is here since friday and totally in love with his grandson. Hopefully we'll get the passport quickly and I can go home in the near future (oh sorry, I do say I will go home, meaning my home-town in Italy, I was indeed at "home" in Dublin when I had Oliver)

If I can pick your brains a bit, I'm faced with a small new problem. I think Oliver is suffering a bit of gaseous colics. He's not text book for colics, meaning he's certainly not crying for hours (he hardly cries at all, only if he's very hungry or cold when you change him!) but he seems to be straining a lot a couple of hours after feeding. He has dirty nappies a couple of times a day and the paediatrician said when they are on formula that's more than enough, but he seems to have a lot of air in his tummy (read: he farts a lot!). What this means is that when he's still deeply asleep he makes lots of loud grunts and noises, goes all read in the face and definitely looks uncomfortable. I don't know what to do. He winds very well during feeds, but seems to be the next stage of digestion that is troublesome. I tend to pick him up and rock him and caress him, this seems to help him passing wind and seems to be better for maybe 10-15 minutes and then it starts again. Feeding seems to sort out the tummy issues for another couple of hours. He's now taking 120mL (4 oz) of formula and sleeping 4-5 hours between feeds which is a total dream of course but of those hours I'm up at least 1 or 2 massaging his tummy...

Finally I'd like to share with you all that as of yesterday we have moved to reusable nappies during the day!! I'm using this brand which I have researched a lot and so far so good. They are certainly bulkier than disposable ones but Oliver doesn't seem to mind it at all! We have no leaks as such, but I'm still learning how to put them on properly and in the quickest way possible.

Tomorrow Mike is taking a day off so that we can do all the paperwork for the birth registration and passport. Let's hope it'll go smoothly!

Weight check

2011-01-18T14:57:00.006Z

We are 2 and half weeks into parenthood and I cannot remember life without Oliver.

It finally feels real. It only sunk in over the weekend. I happened to look at the clock on Saturday at 4.15pm and thinking we were in the middle of the drama only 2 weeks before...I made a conscious effort of reliving (willingly) all that happened repeating to myself all was well in the end. I think it helped a lot. I looked at Oliver staring back at me and realised he IS my son. Saying it (or writing it) still is a little strange, like when I started referring to Mike as my husband.

All is well with him, he's definitely very alert, feeds very well (on formula, I am still only able to use my expressed milk as a top up of the formula!) and his weight check today at 2w3d was 2.98kg! He put on 300gr in 5 days! That's my boy! My weight check, on the other hand, a week after birth was 66kg (6 gone, 9 to go!) and 2 weeks after birth it was 65 kg (7 gone 8 to go!), let's hope it'll be declining as steadily as I put it on!

Sleep is also quite good, he would feed around 1am or 2am and then again at 5am or 6am and we both go back to sleep afterwards. We also bathed him a few times already, he loves it!! What he doesn't like is coming out of the water in the cold (we wrap him immediately but still) or getting undressed to get into the water...ah well...hopefully that'll settle too.

Breastfeeding is still a total failure. Oliver doesn't latch on at all, he may make an effort if I wear those nipple shields but not sure if he takes much. Pumping is...going. I can't say it's going well, but it's going. I've started taking fenugreek which definitely helps and my yield has gone up a bit, I managed to get the amazing mount of 60mL (2oz) yesterday in the whole day! That's twice what I was getting a couple of days ago. At this pace, Oliver will be on solids by the time I'll be able to produce one full feed for him...But again, at least he's taking some.

I also wanted to share the advice that the paediatrician had give me which is much the opposite of what all lactation specialists/website would recommend. She said when milk supply never really came in, that it's a bit pointless to pump every couple of hours as I'm only ever going to get drops and may even hurt myself. She said to allow time at least at the beginning say do it twice a day and see how it goes. I have to say, the first time I did this I collected as much I had got in the whole day the previous day! What a satisfaction! Yesterday then I pumped twice with good yields both times. I'm planning to do the same and see how it goes. Then move up to three times. I feel better about this plan, I found it very very frustrating pumping so often for literally a few drops at the time...

I also got my appointment for post-natal check with my doctor and that will happen on the 9th of February. Nice. It feels like the first step back to normal life (I'll be able to drive after that wohooo!). My wound has healed perfectly, I do have a bit of a bump just above the scar, it may take a little while to get back to flat (will it go back to flat?).

On the list of things to do there is the registration of Oliver's birth next week and application for his passport so that we can fly home!!

The days after: at home

2011-01-13T18:57:00.008Z

Your comments are so so nice, I don't know what I would do without you all. Thanks so much.

And so we came home. I was already feeling a little blue when I was in the hospital and coming home seemed to make it worse. All was perfect, Oliver was healthy and really good (read sleeping and feeding), mom was here and so was my sister, our dream came true. And yet. I had this sadness which was overwhelming, in the evening especially I just had to cry.

I cried thinking of the bleeding. I cried even more when I kept reliving all the events that brought to the early arrival of Oliver, how it felt to me so so coincidental that I did go to the hospital when I wasn't really concerned, how they kept me in just because they thought I had been through a lot in the past, how the dr had the portable scanner in the morning which prompted a more accurate scan that same day. And I knew rationally it didn't make any sense to say to myself "imagine if I hadn't gone to the hospital" "imagine if they didn't scan me" etc as I DID go to the hospital and everything was well in the end. I kept imagining what would have happened if I had stayed at home, if I had started bleeding at home...I felt like all this joy (which in a very strange mix was sadness too) was pure luck and it could have been a very different outcome.

At least I slept much better knowing we had the monitor checking his breathing. It was something.

Oliver was still on formula, I tried latching him on at every feed but I had nothing at all coming out and he got frustrated after a short time. Add this to the list of things that upset me in those early days. I bought an electric pump to express milk. I saw the first few drops of milk around day 5, it increased a bit only to diminish again. I don't think I ever collected more than a few mLs. I never felt the "engorgement" people talk about, the sense of fullness. My breasts have been very soft most of the time. The midwives and nurses that came along (it's a great home visiting scheme they have up and running here) were fantastic, very encouraging that what I was doing with Oliver was just perfect as he was thriving so to try not to get too upset about breastfeeding. Again, my physical recovery was a matter of conversation, they've never seen anything like it. At one point I also mentioned my emotions and how I felt I was loosing control. Again they were very reassuring, apparently it becomes worrying if it doesn't go away after two-three weeks but in the early days is totally normal to feel all over the place. I said how I felt I never was pregnant (I still feel the same way) and they said the shock of the birth is just taking over all the space in my memory and that eventually it will come back.

I started feeling much better almost a week after I came home. I think the thought that made me turn the corner was the realization I would have met Dr. Wonderful on the 31st in any case as it was my scheduled appointment. So suddenly it sunk in that I would have been scanned by the same amazing doctor and that there was going to be no real risk as he would have made the same call. Strange how I had forgotten about it.

When Oliver was 5 days old I got Mike to drive us into work and I proudly showed him off. They all loved him. One funny thing to mention was that I was chatting to my secretary and when I told her the birth story she....passed out!! Honestly, she dropped on the floor! The poor thing, I felt terrible of course, having been a paramedic for 6 years made me less susceptible to medical drama, but I have to remember it's not everybody's cup of tea!

Let's chat also about how the dad is doing. Mike is fantastic, I think he feels a little uncertain when he handles Oliver, but he is very helpful. He managed to take the full first week off work and went back last monday. I dreaded being at home with mom only (for whom I was putting on a brave face) but it went really well.

Oliver has changed so much already, I changed my banner too and you can see how much more alert he is! We brought him to the paediatrician today for a 2-weeks check up (12 days really) and he passed with flying colours! He's already regained his full birth weight and more (2.66 kg!) which is great. hearing and eyes tests went perfect. We are delighted.

He cries very little, only if he's hungry and we have no milk ready he gets very upset, but then you give him a finger to chew on and he quietens down immediately. We had a few issues with pee escaping from the nappy...tried it all.. in the end we changed brand and it made a major difference. We are still adamant to invest in the reusable nappy, I'll make the order in the next few days.

One final thing on breastfeeding. I haven't given up at all yet. I got a hospital-grade pump and will express as much as possible for the next week and see if it improves. The paed today said that I may really never have a proper milk supply (it's 12 days after c-section already) but to give it a go if I feel I can do it. So we'll see.

I'll post here another couple of pics of our little miracle! I just have to show you his feet (huge!) and how much he has grown already!

The days after: hospital stay

2011-01-09T12:07:00.007Z

Thank you all for the kind comments and emails, really appreciated it!

I'll keep going with recording the events that followed Oliver's birth and of course I'll include some pictures this time too!

Thinking I should be 38 weeks pregnant is impossible. I know now it's normal not to remember much about the pregnancy and I'm trying to get to term with it. Like I said all along, I have not enjoyed the pregnancy, maybe the last 4-5 weeks I did, but I was constantly worrying about something going wrong, having the worst images in my mind like "there's no longer a heartbeat" or "I'm sorry to tell you the baby won't survive" etc. I was making a conscious effort to erase those thoughts and repeating to myself positive affirmations like "Elvis is perfectly healthy" "We have a healthy baby!" "Mom, dad you are grandparents!" etc. But still I feel I didn't give him any credit for being "the little embryo that could" that started his long journey with me completely detached, expecting as always a BFN out of a FET. And this brings lots of tears to my eyes any time during the day or night...

But let's start recording once again.

When Elvis/Oliver was born we actually had no name chosen yet! We had a short-list of some kind but no definite winner. When Dr. Wonderful showed it to us above the drape all purple and waxy, it felt to me like he pulled a rabbit out of a magic hat. Mike asked him "is it a boy or a girl?" and Dr. Wonderful said "I hadn't looked actually" but quickly the paediatrician said "it's a boy!" Mike and I looked at each other and said "We can't really call him Elvis though..."

We saw him again a couple of minutes afterwards as he was cleaned and getting weighed. He was perfect. And looking to us like an Elvis after all. Even more difficult. As the weight was above expectations, baby was breathing on his own and pinked up very quickly, after a few kisses to me, he was handed over to Mike (besotted) while I was wheeled to recovery.

My haemoglobin, which had dropped due to the bleed, was already climbing. My mom, who had made her way to the hospital earlier on, managed yet again to come and see me in the recovery room for a few minutes. It was all totally surreal. The feeling in my legs was as if they belonged to someone else! My belly was practically flat, I had no pain at all, and chit chatted with the nurse all the time.

As I went to my super-duper private en-suite room in the ward, I was told that the baby had been put in an incubator for a short while just to regulate his temperature (very common that smaller babies get cold quickly) and that they fed him formula as his blood sugar was quite low (I had been fasting for almost 48 hours at that point, my blood sugar must have been low too!) but all was well. This a picture Mike took through the incubator.

As I had a c-section the nurses minded the baby for the first night (but they brought it to me for a much needed skin-to-skin session). I had a morphine pump which I was strongly encouraged to use even if I felt well (which I did). I think I clicked the button twice just because I remembered, not because I was in any pain whatsoever.

The morning after I was woken up around 6.30 by a nurse who removed all my lines, catheter and drips, helped me out of the bed and into a shower. This was 14 hours after surgery! A part from feeling weak and starving (they insisted I didn't eat for fear of vomiting, thank God they didn't remove my chocolate from the bedside locker so I nibbled on it all night long!) I had no other issue.

They brought me the baby which had had a good night and fed well and they never took it again.

Due to swine-flu alert, no visitors were allowed apart from the husbands. And my staying at the hospital became way too boring very quickly. Being in a private ward has the great advantage of having plenty of room for yourself, but if you are alone all day long is not that fun. Every other person in the ward was in her own room with the door closed. And after a c-section, the most uncomfortable thing is getting up from a lying down position and being suddenly 100% responsible for a newborn means you do have to get up more often than you wish!

But Mike was there as much as he could. After I had some time with the baby we decided to call him Oliver. I really liked the name, it did contained most of the letters of Elvis! it was very difficult though not to call him Elvis all the time...

One thing we noticed as we started taking loads of pictures of the yet unnamed baby was that he didn't look at all they same in reality!

By the evening of that day, I was only given paracetamol as painkiller as I felt well. Nurses and doctors could hardly believe it, but really for me the recovery was super-speedy.

That night was hard. Oliver was extremely good, woke up for a feed, but never cried. it was hard for me. I know it's normal but I was constantly checking his breathing and didn't get much sleep at all.

The second day of my recovery was much easier physically. As it became so much easier getting out of bed, it became psychologically much more difficult. I really wanted to go home, at least my mom was there and my sister was arriving that evening. I felt very lonely. Mike was doing a lot of chores, we had nothing ready for the baby, he went shopping with my mom, then came to the hospital, back home, back to the hospital. He must have felt exhausted too. And I was missing all the shopping and felt sad about it too.

Paediatrician came to see Oliver in the afternoon (any diversion at this point was like a God sent) he was very happy with everything so when I asked if I could go home early he had no objections! Dr. Wonderful came to see me too that day, asked about pain relief, I said I had taken a couple of paracetamols the previous evening and once again he couldn't believe it. He said most women after a c-section are very sore and hardly think of going home early, but if I felt well he had no objection. My OB was back the following morning, he said, he'll come to see me and if he was also happy I could go home then! A ray of sunshine!! I was probably going home!!

That day I also started to express some milk. When I say this, I mean I started using the pump, but nothing was coming, not even colostrum that I could see. Oliver wasn't really latching on either and we kept him on formula. But I was trying anyway.

Night came and it was much the same as the previous night, Oliver was the perfect baby (I had to set an alarm to wake him up for a feed) and I was a wrecked nervous mom. And hated me for being so. Nights are bad. Mornings are good.

The morning of the third day came, my OB came in to see me at 6.30 am (he likes early mornings!!) and we had a great chat, after all his great care he missed the grand finale! He said he would see me in 6 weeks, wished me all the best and signed my forms to go home. I was up and about and by 8.30 I had all my stuff packed and ready. Day shift nurse came along, did her final checks, all was well, Oliver was a bit yellow but in the normal range, he had lost only 100gr with respect to his birth weight. Mike arrived and we were ready to go. Oliver security tag was removed (doors are alarmed so I could never leave the ward for a walk with Oliver, restricting even further what I could do) and we were waved goodbye. As I was walking towards the lift, I passed by the ante-natal ward were I was only a few days before. I saw many pregnant women obviously close to giving birth with huge bellies and I couldn't remember having had a belly of my own. I was saying to Mike "it's really us, we are leaving this very hospital with a baby this time" and expecting an alarm to go off any minute either to wake me up from the dream or to take the baby away as it wasn't really ours. It didn't happen. We are finally parents and a new adventure has now begun.

This was Oliver in his going home outfit.

Last pregnancy pic and Birth Story

2011-01-07T17:32:00.005Z

Oliver is a week old tomorrow. So much has happened and so much I've forgotten already. I'll be as detailed as possible as I feel these memories are fading fast and I want to have a record of them all, but you feel free to scan through the post, I know how I feel when I face a long post to read!

First this is my last photo at 36 weeks pregnant. I hadn't put up more weight at that point in fact it looked like I had lost a kg and so my total gain was in the end +15kg.

By that weekend we were in and out our place trying to move back in, we had to finish a few things, clean, wash etc, and I felt a bit more tired but nothing really to be worrying about. I had my Braxton Hicks, plenty of movements and no other problem to speak of.

Some minor delay with the painters meant we were not going to be able to move in until the following tuesday but no big deal, we had the apartment till the end of December anyway.

Tuesday (28/12 36w2d) came and we had practically moved back in a part from the cats and the last few boxes. We decided to sleep in the apartment another night.

Wednesday (29/12, 36w3d) I woke up feeling a bit wetter than usual, again nothing major at all, but I called the hospital to see if it was better to be checked out in case it was the water that had started leaking. They said to go in. We finished packing everything, we moved out of the apartment and back into our place, fed the cats, I threw something into a bag for the hospital just in case (I had nothing ready!) and we headed off.

I was very relaxed, sure they would check me and send me back home, oh bless the ignorance! They did a NST which showed Elvis was absolutely fine and healthy, then they asked me to give them a sample. Not knowing any better I peed in the cup while they wanted a sample of the wetness!! Oh dear! I tried again and produced a few drops (it could have been pee though, I didn't know for sure). The midwives looked at it and said "oh yeah, I'd say it's fluid!". Right. Then a doctor came to see me, she said that due to my history and all I've been through they would have acted on the side of caution and checked me in so that I could be started on antibiotics. As I was settling into the ward, we chatted with the midwife to see when would I be going home and she said "Oh no, you are not going anywhere, we suspect your waters have gone so given that you'll be 37 weeks on Sunday we'll induce you then as the baby is considered full term at that point". Holy crap, so this is it! I'm not going back home! I phoned my parents and immediate action was taken by mum so that she could be here. No matter how much I told her there was no need, she just had to be here. My OB was on holiday that week and I was supposed to meet a different doctor which happened to be on duty at the hospital that evening. He was Dr. M but given his role in the last few days of my pregnancy I'll call him Dr. Wonderful. He came checking on me the same evening and said he would be back the day after to plan with me what to do.

On the Thursday (30/12 36w4d) a different doctor was doing the morning rounds and she suggested to check for sure if my waters had gone by looking at the cervix and check for fluids leaking. The test was negative. I just had another NST test which was perfect, not much concern, maybe I was going home after all! It so happened that she was carrying around a portable scanner and did a quick ultrasound. Remember all the abundance of fluids I had at 34 weeks? It was gone. I started saying I had a scan done 3 weeks earlier and I had the deepest pocket measuring 6.3cm, how could it have disappeared? She agreed and sent me down in Foetal Assessment for a proper scan.

It took a while but eventually I was called in. Yes, the liquid was very low, the tech said on the low side if normal, there was still some of course but not much. Elvis looked perfect, moving around, breathing and with very good blood flow in the umbilical artery. But then she started taking measures and there had been minimal growth since the scan at 34 weeks. Elvis weight was estimated at 2.2kg practically the same if you rounded up the numbers of both scans. My blood froze instantly. There was something wrong. It must have been the placenta that stopped working properly, this would explain the diminished fluids and lack of growth. A Dr. came in and she double checked the measurements, confirmed the findings. Together we looked at the placenta which to me looked very inhomogeneous, she thought there may be some calcification. She said the baby was fine, no need to be worried, I was in the right place and they would take no chances, she would go talking to Dr. Wonderful and let me know. Dr. Wonderful himself came in and rescanned me for the third time. Confirmed all the measurements.

He is a fantastic person, very calm and with excellent bedside manners. Considering I was on the verge of tears (could it have been the tiling and the running around that put Elvis at risk?) he was a God to me at that point. He said that given that the baby was well but not growing much, that they suspected the waters had gone or even if not there wasn't much there, the baby was better out than in and that by the weekend I would be a mom. They would try to induce me the day after and if induction didn't work (just shy of 37 weeks it may very well not work) they wouldn't dwell on it and section me. He said he was on duty all weekend and not to worry.

I went back to my bed, relieved we had a plan I was happy with and sobbing my eyes out thinking what if I had not come to the hospital...it was such a coincidence I decided to be checked out, I wasn't really worried for once in this pregnancy, I could have easily decided to stay at home after all...

Friday came (31/12 36w5d) and you wouldn't believe the amount of women being whisked to the L&D ward that day. By 8pm I started worrying they would not induce me after all, it was New Year's Eve, who would do this? Midwives started saying to me and Mike it may not happen tonight, it'll be the first thing tomorrow morning. But I couldn't bear the thought of not doing anything, it's not like it was my choice to have the baby born early, it had to happen for his safety! I asked the midwife to call Dr. Wonderful and tell him there was this change of plan, I thought he had been very clear we really had no time to waste. I went for a shower to calm myself down a bit and when I got back to the bed there was a midwife there ready to take me to L&D for induction! Dr. Wonderful had intervened and he said he'll look after me so to induce me.

Mike and I went to L&D, lovely midwives were with us, they did an internal and my cervix was very unfavourable (meaning long and closed...and there I was months ago worried about IC!) so oxytocine was very unlikely to work. Dr. Wonderful also came in and redid the internal. Yep, long and closed. He suggested we try the prostaglandin gel instead and see if things moved along during the night. We would reassess the situation in the morning and again if nothing had changed I'd be prepped for a section.

I was induced at 10.50 pm. We celebrated the New Year in the room waiting for something to happen. I was constantly monitored so Mike and I wished happy new year to little Elvis's heartbeat happily beating away.

Incredibly mom, who landed in Dublin around 10.30 pm that night managed to come in the L&D for a quick hello before going home waiting for news.

At 1am I went back to the ward and Mike went home.

The night was spent a bit up and down the bed, everyone else around be was in full blown labour, I ended up wearing earplugs to try and get some sleep! I had some contractions, nothing much really no more than AF cramps associated with back pain and tightening of the belly. Then it passed and I slept till morning.

On Saturday (1/1 36w6d) Dr. Wonderful came checking on me in the morning (do they ever go home and sleep?), cervix was a little softer, a little shorter and a little wider. The plan was to do another dose of gel, wait till after lunch and then section me in the afternoon if labour didn't start. Mike came around lunch time, I was still fasting just in case and absolutely starving at that point. I asked for an IV to keep me going a bit fearing the worst headache ever will come along quickly if I wasn't somewhat hydrated.

Around 3pm I was experiencing a very contracted belly. But not contractions, in fact the belly was never relaxing at all really. It felt odd. I thought I couldn't feel much movements, which would be normal if you are contracted, and I knew the HB was fine as it was regularly monitored, but still it didn't feel right. After a while I asked Mike to listen to the belly for movements and as he put his ear to the belly I felt a gush. I thought my waters had now definitely gone but when I checked it was blood. A lot of it. Clotted. It looked like liver. I was sure it was the placenta detaching and that the baby was about to die. Midwives were around me in seconds, checked immediately the HB which was good and normal, completely unaffected by what was going on. I couldn't believe this was happening to me, I couldn't possibly believe this nightmare was happening. I could hear the HB but I feared any minute it was going to drop.

Drs were called, OR was called, I was brought up to theatre with blood gushing out of me whether I was moving or staying still. It was the most frightening thing ever and I was sobbing all the way and started praying in my head to please save this baby. The staff was just amazing they were reassuring me trying to stay focussed on the "now" that things were good, baby was happy and they'll have him out in a very short time. Dr. Wonderful was waiting for me in theatre very calmly said he was about to come down for me, that everything was fine and to stay calm. I had a spinal, I have to say I was feeling nothing at all, no needles just voices around me. Mike came in and sat beside me. They started surgery and took the baby out. He cried immediately. We cried too. He was well, a boy like I always thought. Then the most relaxing thing happened next, the doctors started chit chatting while suturing me. They said I only had a small tear in the placenta which looked awful to me but it wasn't really that bad. Between the onset of the bleed (3.53 pm) and the birth of Oliver (4.37pm) it passed 45 minutes. Amazing. I'll have another post on my recovery and feelings after the birth, I think I'm suffering a bit of baby blues at the moment, very oddly I cannot remember being pregnant at all. I look at the picture above and think it was someone else.

Our miracle is here

2011-01-03T08:57:00.002Z

My friends, you wouldn't believe what happened in the last couple of weeks. I will update as soon as I go back home but I wanted to let you know that on the 1st of January 2011 our little miracle came into the World by emergency c-section. There was major drama and I'll tell you all the details asap but all was well in the end by a pure act of God, I've no doubt. It's a boy like I always thought and I'm in love all over again.
Like Mike said, "Elvis has left the building" and although we still have to make an effort, we named him Oliver. He weighed 2.57 kg (a little over 5lb) but he's feeding well on formula, I hope my milk will come in and will try bf.
Hoping to go home on Wednesday at the latest, hopefully Tuesday night but they'd like to keep me in till Thursday. Visitors are not allowed due to swine flu alert and so it's really boring and difficult as I have Oliver in my room all the time but I'm still sore from surgery and I'm not too efficient yet. Thankfully the baby is an angel! I'll post pics soon!

Sent from my iPhone

35 weeks and tiling

2010-12-20T11:07:00.005Z

Oh girls, have you ever heard of an almost 8 month pregnant woman tiling a bathroom? Me neither... but lets start from the beginning.

Mike came home on wednesday morning from Mexico, it went very well but he was quite tired and jet-lagged. With the attic nearing completion, Mike had one job to do. Tiling the bathroom. It was a project, he never did such a thing before and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Now, the builders are out of the house as of this morning, the painter is in till wednesday to decorate and that's it. The plumber was called on friday to see would he be able to come today to fix the sanitary-ware if Mike could guarantee the bathroom was ready by 8 am this morning. The plumber could not be 100% sure but said unless there is an emergency call he will be in. So as of wednesday afternoon of last week Mike was on the project. And I was too. I have to say this is a much bigger job than we though and part of the problem is that Mike is a total perfectionist who needs to plan for ages before actually get going. After deciding where to start on thursday we had the first few tiles up. Note that while tiler generally tile around pipes projecting from the wall, Mike drilled holes into the tiles so that each tile would fit like a glove around the pipe. Do you have any idea of the amount of measuring, cutting and cursing that this take? By the time it was friday I started to help with the project. We had to have it all tiled by saturday evening to be able to grout. Despite working till 2am on saturday we had not finished. Up early on Sunday, and worked until we dropped. I gave up at around 1am saying "feck the bathroom, we have three in the house already, this one can certainly wait until January", Mike decided to stay and try and get the floor grouted. He finished at 4am this morning. We had not been given enough grout. We still don't know even if the plumber is coming today! What we know for sure is that a tiling job this perfect has never been seen on Hearth and we are aching and tired from head to toes... Pictures of the whole development will be posted as soon as we move back in and I have broadband again!

And I'm 35 weeks pregnant let's not forget the important bit. Picking up a pencil from the floor to mark a tile for a cut is no easy task let me tell you. I'm absolutely exhausted. The heavy job didn't seem to bother Elvis the least though, he kept moving and poking and rolling and stretching! Braxton Hicks were as always (I thought all this extra work could have induced early labour but obviously not!) no more and no less. The kicks are now right up the rib-cage and can be quite uncomfortable to be honest. I thought how to describe the feeling of the rolls and I think I found the perfect example...it's like those chairs that massage your back! Except it's in your belly! What do you think?

The scale tells me I've now piled up a total of 16kg. And I feel them all. I'm heavy and can't put my boots on without being out of breath. Not complaining, just stating!

As for other symptoms the sleeping is often interrupted by pee-breaks and generally a stuffed nose as soon as I put my head on the pillow! The lungs feel squashed and so does the stomach, Ithink I'm being a bit nauseous at times too. Still no stretch marks on the belly and have a look below...it's certainly stretching! Week 34 is missing from the series boohoo but you can see the progress.

Finally I want to apologise for my lack of commenting, you are all in my thoughts I'm hoping to get back to my usual self in about a week time!

OB visit 34w2d

2010-12-14T14:25:00.004Z

Wow, I've been posting a lot these days!

Just need to update on my OB visit this morning, all well, Dr. L is extremely happy with the scan and all the parameters (he said the blood flow is excellent!! wohoo!!). Mom was with me at this visit too, she absolutely loves seeing the scans.

My next appointment is in two more weeks, but with the Christmas holidays the Dr. is going away for a few days and has me booked in for the 1st of January at 10! He said to enjoy this last Christmas with the two of us alone eehehe.

At the next visit I'll also get a vaginal swab done to check for Strep B infections, I'll be 36w6d by then. We are nearly at the finishing line...

Elvis this morning did a little show for the doctor also, dancing around through the belly! It's as if in the last three days or so he's run out of space completely and he's constantly stretching. I love it!

Mike is flying back today, his talk went well, and we've only been texting each other so I'm dying to hear how it all went. Looking forward to going back to our home routine!

34 weeks down, 6 to go!

2010-12-13T13:58:00.006Z

My little honeydew is definitely growing! I have to say after the initial MASSIVE appearance of stretch marks on my boobs I have not suffered any others on the belly...it is still too soon to tell I suppose, but I thought I make a note of it for now. Still having plenty of Braxton Hicks, getting up much more often for peeing and I'm eating plenty. My weight is probably a bit higher than the last week but as it's not officially a full Kg I'll keep it at +15kg for now! Following the advice of the midwife who did the pre-natal I've started drinking raspberry leaf tea (I had used it in the past for menstrual cramps). She assured us it won't start labour, but after 34 weeks it should help toning the uterus, so there you go!

You guys were asking about pictures, well I don't have any really, I didn't know but at this gestational age is much more difficult to get a proper shot...we saw the belly, the cord, the head etc but no real profile view to talk about. I do have 3 pics which show the fluid (the deepest pocket), the cord flow and the edge of the placenta, but they are not very interesting I'm afraid. I'll post them though just for the blog records!

Other interesting measurements were:

BPD 83.5 mm

HC 306.8 mm

AC 285.8 mm

FL 67.1 mm

Estimated foetal weight 2.2 Kg (4lb 13oz)

Doppler:

PI 0.83

RI 0.56

S/D 2.26

HB 134bpm

Do you know much about the numbers? They are all within ranges as far as I can tell (the femur is above average, while everything else is slightly below average) but I decided not to do too much research as I know I will obsess (yet again!).

Next visit is tomorrow with the OB. As Mike is away I didn't take a 34w photo yesterday (boohoo) so I'll be posting the next set on Sunday at 35w.

Attic is also coming along, two more weeks and we should move back in!! I'll post the series of pics then.

Finally I've to admit I've given up yoga... first it was the snow and then the icy roads, today I'm just thinking I may as well save the petrol...I really didn't like the teacher, I have only mentioned it once I think how I thought it was a waste of time, as it hasn't got any better unfortunately. I'm doing my Kegel exercises and I want to start on perineal massages soon, that'll have to do!

Scan update

2010-12-10T21:11:00.001Z

This is my first attempt to update the blog from my mobile! Fingers crossed!

I just wanted to let you know that the scan today was great, Elvis is right on track, plenty of fluid, the placenta is higher (not a concern any more!) and the little one scored 8/8 on his biophysical profile!!

Mom was with me as Mike flew out this morning for his conference. First leg of the journey was great (Dublin-Atlanta) and he's waiting to get the flight to Cancun at the moment.

Very happy overall and looking forward to my next visit on Tuesday, I'll post some more on Monday for my weekly update!

Still alive and 33 weeks!

2010-12-06T10:48:00.004Z

We had really severe weather so college only reopened today! In the temporary apartment I have no broadband and updating from the phone is not great, hence the silence!

First of all, thank you for your kind comments on MIL, after a shaky couple of days she is doing brilliantly, she's in great form and the physiotherapist is so impressed with her progress (she's can transfer herself from the bed to the wheelchair unassisted) that they are talking of sending her to a rehab structure within a week! This people is once again a sign of what a fantastic woman she is. FIL is the one that seems to cope worse and hopefully he'll come to term with it soon.

On the other relatives I have no updates, it seems that in one case all is clear thankfully while in the other we still don't know.

And I just noticed that little Elvis is as big as a honeydew!! This is the second last fruit!! Amazing.

So some update on the pregnancy. I am definitely more tired. Similar to how I felt in the first trimester with the added weight though. And talking about weight...the scale said I'm up another kg so I've hit +15 eek!! Ah well, not too bothered really, I will work to lose the weight afterwards! I'm having cramps in my calves and don't sleep that well at all. I do get up at least twice a night for a pee and a sip of water, I have stuffed nose and occasional headaches....but I'll take anything that comes my way!

Another thing is that Mike pointed out at the weekend that I have a "line" developing below my bellybutton! It's the linea nigra!! It's barely visible and nothing like what some ladies get, but still I like it! According to this website which reports all the old wives' tales this would mean that Elvis is an Elvissina! Same as the heart rate and the fact that I'm craving for sweet things....mmhhh not long now until we know...

Movements are very regular, sometime really ticklish when Elvis rolls his foot to my side!

Mike is going to Mexico on friday boohooo between a bit of anxiety about his trip and the fact that he'll be missing the scan and the next OB visit I'm not doing too well on that front, but I'm sure it'll be ok.

Next on the agenda is the big scan on friday (placenta check and measurements etc).

...and mom is coming this evening!! So that I won't be alone when Mike is away! So that's very nice.

Finally the attic is progressing at the speed of light, they are starting plastering today! Woohoo! This means all the major jobs are finished and I absolutely love the place!

MIL, weather and other updates

2010-12-01T14:05:00.005Z

Thank you to all of you for the kind thoughts on MIL. Surgery went well, they amputated the leg below the knee so once she gets a prosthesis she will be able to walk a bit more naturally. We have not seen her yesterday, we planned to go to the hospital (which is at the other side of the city from where we live) but the weather and traffic were so bad it was absolutely impossible. It took us two hours to get home from work (normally it's no more than 20 minutes). We will go today.

Weather is really cold and it keeps snowing. So Ireland doesn't do snow well at all, it happened in January too. Schools are closed, roads are at various levels of danger (depending whether they salted them so it's very slushy or not and so it's hard snow/ice), cars are not equipped with winter tyres so they are all over the place and drivers are either way too careful (they could walk instead at the speed they are going) or not enough. College issued a statement they are shutting down now and probably will be closed tomorrow too. Given that it's the last week of term with plenty of lectures and labs to finish I don't know how they can fix it. I had less than half the class this morning and thankfully I only had very light material which is not part of the exam. But tomorrow and firday I have three hours teaching plus continuous assessment with the final year students and we'll have to find a way of having those hours done. You see, next week is revision week and then exams starts immediately running till the 22nd of December, there was really no contingency plan in place. We'll see.

More bad news came last night from various relatives in Mike's family, I won't go into details but let's say that things are looking quite bad or at least two of them and feel very sorry for them.

I'm just waiting for Mike to arrive and we go home!

OB upate and MIL

2010-11-30T14:16:00.003Z

The visit went very well. Due to the heavy snowfall a few people had cancelled their appointment so we had plenty of time with Dr. L. Elvis is growing well (belly measures 33 weeks), fluids all around look good but the placenta is still low. So we have scheduled a more accurate scan for the 10th of December, just before my next appointment with the OB on the 14th. Note that for both visit Mike won't be with me as he's off to a conference in Mexico, so my mum will come along instead. Urine sample and blood pressure checked out perfect which is great. We also chatted a bit about how things are going and so I told him that like he predicted I'm getting a bit nervous about the due date and vaginal delivery. Not for the pain of labour at all, but mostly about things that can go wrong (I know, same old me). I told him I have this image of the umbilical cord wrapped around the baby (which he then checked with the scan and the cord is nice were it should be with plenty of room and seemed to be going from his belly up into the placenta!) and that he may get oxygen deprived during birth. Again he said they will be monitoring the baby very closely during labour and intervene immediately if they think there is any sign of distress, but that all the options are open to me, that there is no rush in deciding as we can schedule a c-section at a very late notice (it would happen a week before the due date). Once again I was very reassured and happily went on my way. I so love the appointments being so close together!

So all was good. Until I got a call from Mike. I had not written about this as I was hoping to be able to write part 2 of MIL story when everything had settled down, but things have taken a turn for the worse unfortunately. MIL has been in hospital for the last 8 weeks (with a brief time off in the middle) for clots in her right leg. They have attempted several procedures to by-pass the clots and restore blood flow to the foot, but her veins and arteries are so compromised that there is no improvement in her circulation. This is such a painful condition she's on pain medication almost constantly. They evaluated the possibility to do a chemical block to the nerve so that she wouldn't feel pain and could exercise the leg a bit. As of Friday this was no longer an option as the nerve the would need to intervene on is too close to the kidney (she had a kidney transplant 20 years ago) and they could not risk it. Last night we were informed that they were considering amputating her leg towards the end of the week. This morning the situation must have looked different as Mike got the call from the consultant that they are going ahead with the surgery today. While this would be a dreaded solution to most people, MIL is looking forward to being pain free (it may give you an idea of how painful the leg is). I believe she's in surgery now. They couldn't tell where they would amputate, if below or above the knee until they are operating. Any thoughts you have to spare for her please do so, she is a fantastic woman and I want Elvis to spend plenty of time with her grandmother. I'll update when I have news.

32 weeks and lots of snow

2010-11-29T09:04:00.004Z

Yesterday I turned the page on the book that brought me officially into the 8th month of pregnancy! Woohoo! Everything is great thankfully, the only thing I have to mention is that I'm getting cramps in my calves at night (it seems to be the right one mostly) and I started having very vivid dreams/borderline nightmares!! Last night I dreamt something like "28 days later" the movie...not sure what prompted it but sure when I woke up (heart pounding and Elvis kicking!) I had to pee and was afraid to go to the loo!! Yes yes silly I know, but in daylight all is good!

My weight is pretty much stable this week, sure with the scale I'm using we have to allow for a plus or minus a Kg, but I considered it still +14 as of yesterday.

I thought Elvis has somewhat a pattern in his movements but not quite. He used to be active around the time the alarm went off but this is not happening anymore (well in the last few days anyway) so I think he's active beforehand and after breakfast. I still panic a bit if I think he should be moving and he doesn't, but then he starts and there's no doubt he's happy! So I calm down again, until the next time...

Tomorrow I have the OB visit, I look forward to it, hopefully it'll all be well.

On Saturday we woke up to a white landscape, it snowed!! I love snow but like last year people panic a good bit and don't really enjoy it. It's very cold, like, unusually cold for this time of the year, it should last until friday which is also the LAST DAY of term!!!! Oh my God I'm soo counting, mainly so that we can come into work without the fear of not finding a car space LOL! Patches and The Dude are fascinated by the snow and spend ages looking outside the windows.

The attic is almost ready for the cosmetic work, windows are in, plasterboard too and I can't wait to see what it will look like at the end of the week! Like my friend Saige suggested, I may make a little slide show once it's done!

Oh and Hannah was asking if I was wearing maternity jeans in the photos and yes, definitely maternity!

That's it for now, I'll update again tomorrow.

31 weeks, ante-natal course and pictures update

2010-11-22T10:21:00.006Z

Woohooo we are at 31 weeks!! All is good, sure I'm getting up a bit more often at night and I have this restless legs syndrome which is quite annoying but bring it all on, I'm so so happy to have got this far! Little Elvis is moving regularly, very reassuring and I started feeling him/her a lot at night also. Again I'm certainly not complaining!

Weight is the same as the last week, it wasn't a full kg then but it certainly is this week, so holding at +14kg. For your delight here are my latest pictures, I think I'm growing a bit!

I want to tell you also about my full day ante-natal course. It was great. The midwife who led it was really engaging and I loved her, pity she is not working in the hospital I'll be going to. There were 13 couples and she got us to introduce ourselves stating the due day, one thing we love about pregnancy and one thing we don't like. I was about the third person to talk, I just could not think one single negative thing (maybe I could have said how I worry so much) so I just said I loved it all. The couple next to us said something like "We are just delighted to be finally pregnant" and that sounded quite familiar...can you smell infertility in people? it turned out they had been trying for 7 years with several failed IVFs and finally went to Madrid (where the wife was from) and got their miracle. They didn't share this with the group, but Mike and the other husband met in the loo and got talking. It was great to chat with them, they are maybe a week behind us. Anyway, the highlight of the introduction round was this lady (who arrived very dressed up, heels, skirt, make-up etc) who stated that what she found very difficult to cope with during her pregnancy was... fashion...yes, you read correctly...fashion!! Ah bless her, missing her shoes and nice dresses... there are some real people out there. We all secretly wished her to have a boy who wants to wear nothing other than a scruffy track-suit! Note that her only other contribution to the day was when she asked the midwife if she could wear jewellery during labour and delivery and what about gel-nails and varnish... yes yes I know, this is obviously a clueless one, it was a while since I had met one that bad.

We had a paediatrician coming in giving us plenty of info, overall a great day and I feel much more reassured we can do it!

I promise I will post a special post on the attic project, it's flying!! We think this week major things will happen, the electrician was in last week doing all the cabling, this week the plumber should arrange for the sanitary-ware pipes etc. Windows should arrive also! Mike is taking photos once a week so it's great to see the progress given that I'm NOT venturing up in the attic via a builder's ladder!!

OB visit and everything looks good

2010-11-16T12:07:00.001Z

Thank you all so much for sharing your stories about belly-comments! I know I'm not alone and it's great to hear it from you all. I admit, I'm sure I am guilty too of having made such comments in the past, and I'll never do that again.

Anyway, I did tell the doctor this morning about the "small belly" comments, he kind of giggled a bit and said that pregnant women are like magnets, they attract all sort of comments! Amazingly, he took out a measuring tape and measured my belly which is an indication of the number of weeks plus or minus 3 and I measure 31!

Elvis still head down and all looks good! Doctor thinks it's very likely it will now stay in that position. Placenta not checked but we'll have a better look in two weeks (my next appointment!) and we'll schedule the more accurate scan then for 34 weeks.

Urines checked out great so nothing to worry about there either.

Crazy week in work, but only 3 weeks till the end of term, so I'm singing in my head "I will survive"!! Love to all and once again thanks so much for your support!

30 weeks down, 10 to go!

2010-11-15T10:26:00.002Z

And 30! Not much to report since last week, my contractions have eased a good bit and now I get them more occasionally (still every day though). I did call the OB to ask just in case, but he confirmed it's nothing to worry about.

I've put on a bit of weight since last week, maybe not a full kg but almost. I think it's pretty normal and I'm just happy I'm not constantly gaining weight! So I'm at +14kg now.

I have noticed I'm getting more tired in the evenings and I do get up a bit more at night to pee, but other than that all is well. Movements are good, as always some days Elvis is more active than others but I have relaxed a bit about it too which is great.

Comments I've been getting from IRL people have started worrying me a bit (as if I needed to worry about something else!!). They keep telling me how small my belly is...and while I know the appearance means very little, I can't help thinking what if Elvis is not growing enough? My OB never takes measurements so I don't know how bit he is, but tomorrow I'll ask just in case.

Thankfully I met a very good friend of mine on Thursday for lunch. She's also pregnant and a couple of weeks behind me. This is her second baby and with her first pregnancy she was really small but had a perfectly healthy baby. She is very fit and even with this second pregnancy she is barely showing. Anyway, I shared my concerns and she was brilliant, she said people were telling her the same thing all along and eventually she also got a bit paranoid that something was wrong. Her OB totally reassured her as it has to do with the strength of your abdominal muscles which may hold the uterus more upright instead than projecting forward. Once the baby moves well and there is plenty of fluid around him all is just as it should be.

Our attic is progressing well! Now the house looks like it's been bombed to be honest, there was no way we could have lived there when the works were ongoing. I think this week they should be able to finish reinforcing the roof and floor (steel beams are in) and then they can start building again. Stairs and windows have been ordered so things are on schedule!

Upgraded to a Squash! 29 weeks

2010-11-08T10:29:00.004Z

We have no broadband in the temporary accommodation, so I could not update yesterday as usual!

Anyway, 29 weeks along and doing well, no weight gain which means I'm steady at +13Kg (now I'm worrying I should actually put up a bit of weight given that I'm the last trimester!!! Same old me...). Sleeping ok, getting up at least a couple of times to pee but I don't feel too tired in the morning. Turning around in the bed is becoming a bit more uncomfortable, I can feel the weight of Elvis, specially if I'm on my right side. Whichever position he is in, I have like a hard "dome" on my upper right side of the belly. I think it's his bum! It doesn't move much and I feel kicks mostly on the left hand side as if there's where the room is but Elvis is all on the right.

I do kick counting even though my OB (and many others) are not really in favour of it as I mentioned before, still, it makes me feel more relaxed as Elvis moves certainly much more than 10 times in 2 hours (when he's awake!) and one main difference I've noticed is that now the movements are more like rolls and shifts and pressure than hard kicks (though I get them as well). And I think I felt hiccups too! Lately I have quite a few Braxton-Hicks and the belly is really hard...I know it's normal but I thought those contractions would come and go while I seem to have a contracted uterus for a long time specially if I'm walking. I'll ask next week just to be sure.

The temporary accommodation is perfect, we've all settled in very nicely (both Patches and the Dude absolutely love it!) and it's so so convenient to our place it's almost a dream. On saturday we picked up the tiles for the bathroom and I think we now have everything. The works are progressing right on schedule, after only one week so much had been done already! This week the windows and stairs will be ordered and the steel beams positioned. We are taking pics every week so I will post a progress update in a couple of weeks to let you see how it goes!

Only four more weeks of term. I can't wait! I have my teaching almost done and it's a great milestone to look forward too.

Vaccinated and Relocated!

2010-11-02T11:48:00.003Z

Hi had my flu vaccine shot today. Let's hope I won't react badly to it!!

We have moved out of the duplex and into our new superfab-magazine-style penthouse. It's a one-bed top floor apt and a part for being small it's really cute. The first night was a nightmare, Patches and the Dude were very unsettled and I don't think I slept much at all. Teaching and meetings all day long on monday and yoga at 8.10 pm....I don't know how I got to the end of the day. We have only one problem in the new place which is parking. In that part of the estate, there are loads of apartments and very little parking. If the weather was good it wouldn't be a big deal parking one car in our own spot at the duplex and walk back...but it's Ireland! And it's November!! Not such a a thing as good weather unfortunately. Anyway, I crashed on the bed and had a great night sleep so I'm a new woman today! No more spotting so that's good and Elvis seems to like the new bed also with frequent signs of appreciation. Go Elvis!

We had a final meeting with the builder yesterday, all is on schedule and we signed contracts so we will be moving back into the house before Christmas. Fingers crossed!! Can't wait to see how it all goes!!

Milestone three: 28 weeks. A trip to L&D and moving out!

2010-10-31T09:49:00.007Z

These past few days have been full of excitement. Our stroller system and Stokke Sleepi combo arrived on Thursday and we love it!! We only assembled the stroller as it's neater to keep the cot in the box with all the works that will be going on. Here's what it looks like (and don't look at the mess around the place, we are packing!! The Dude is also very interested....)

Then, I woke up on Saturday feeling very dizzy. Never happened during the pregnancy but I did suffer of this occasionally in the past. Not sure what it is, sounds like vertigo of course, but it solves itself in a couple of days max. Anyway, we are packing and moving things around the house as our Attic project will start tomorrow and we are moving out today. I couldn't do much at all but Mike is just brilliant. In the afternoon after coming back from shopping I went to the bathroom and found my knickers were stained. Damn. Not much of course, and light in colour. But still. And I had been dizzy all day. So I remember the ultrasound tech said it could happen, to stay calm and get checked out. This is the conversation between me and Mike that took place.

Me: "Mike, I'm spotting a bit"

Mike: "Oh...I think it's ok"

Me: "... I want to go to the Maternity Hospital just in case"

Mike: "Do you want to give them a call?"

Me: "No! I WANT to go there"

Mike: "Ok so"

Jeez.

And off we went. I could feel Elvis moving, so I knew he was ok, I was thinking mostly it could be my mucous plug and kept repeating to myself we are 28 weeks already, it's going to be ok even if Elvis will arrive early. I had no contractions, but then you know the way your mind play games so I started feeling tightening in my back but nothing major.

When we checked in, I told the receptionist I was 28 weeks, with low placenta and mild spotting. She made a quick phone call and said to us "Ok, better not go to casualties, we go directly to the Delivery ward" both Mike and I nearly passed out!! She quickly explained that it was just a precaution and that they had all the equipment up there to check me out properly.

All was well, Elvis HB was checked by a midwife (140bpm), my blood pressure was a bit low (100/60) but there was no reason of real concern. The doctor came along (incidentally the same doctor that admitted me with the ectopic last year..) and gave me a scan which showed that the majority of the placenta is now high and I only have a little "tale" which is still low. No sign of detachment, plenty of fluid and Evis moving around. He didn't do an internal and said minor spotting can be perfectly normal but to go back if I had bleeding of course. While I was getting dressed we heard from the room next to us a baby crying and lots of cheers and the words "We are having a boy!!" Oh my God, I really think Elvis is a boy now!! Interestingly we heard no screaming beforehand, only a baby heartbeat being monitored. If that's the way it's going to be it doesn't sound too bad at all!

Right so, back home we went.

And today is really 28 weeks! No weight gain and nothing much to report. Sleeping is still on and off and I'm getting a bit more tired. Eating well and drinking plenty of fluids. Thanks to all of you for the reassurance on the movements, I'm definitely more relaxed now (and considering this is going to be an even week my positivity should spike!). I have a dense week ahead, teaching, talking at a conference on thursday, meetings of all sorts...it should go by quite quickly (I hope!). Checking out for now, we are taking pics of the attic as is now and we'll do so as the works go on, can't wait to have it finished!!