20 months (and 6 weeks!)

My little baby is not so little anymore, he's 20 months today! He's the joy of our lives, and I want to give a little summary of where he is at.

Teeth: he has 11, and I think the 4th molar is about to come through.
Sleeping: Sleeps through the night since we sorted him out after coming back from holidays. I can't recommend that book highly enough!
Eating: He eats everything, of course he has his preferences, but overall he's happy to try new things. Still no nuts as such for him, we just don't have many in the house in general I suppose! He's on two bottles a day (breakfast and night-time).
Talking: He is a chatterbox though it's not too clear to us what he says most of the time. He has though a lot of words which we now understand very well, most of them are in English, bar a few that are in Italian. It's very funny. He understand very well both languages.
Walking: Not a problem there, he's mostly running now in fact. He's becoming more and more adventurous and climbs chairs, tables, sofas etc. Of course he goes up the stairs too, a bit more reluctant in coming down. We still don't let him go up or down on is own though.
General behaviour: He is a very very sweet boy, very affectionate and generally quite obedient, he has his moments of course, but for now we didn't have too many tantrums. He's using his soother only at night and sleeping time, so he's growing out of it. In the creche he's in the last of the wobblers room, he'll stay there till he's two and then will move to the toddler room. He still uses the loo anytime we bring him there, we are not toilette training at all yet, but when we are at home that's where he does his business most of the time.

And I'm 6 weeks today! Nothing to report, the occasional very minor spotting still happens, and when I'm saying minor I mean it's only a hint on TP sometimes in the evening which I think may be connected to the progesteron suppositories. I have no reason to think something is wrong. I did go through a day or two where I thought that the sac looked very low in the uterus (you know...I pretend I'm an ultrasound expert!) so in the end I texted the Fav Doc who responded very quickly telling me off for being on the internet too much, that the sac is where it should be and to just stop. So I did. On tuesday we'll see how things are progressing, I think I feel a bit different this time from when I was expecting Oliver, the nausea seems a bit more (mostly every second day) and definitely the bad taste in my mouth is very prominent. I wonder if it may be a girl this time. I tested again this morning (as per clinic requirement) and the test is the same as last week. So this control line that should disappear isn't happening and I start thinking that it's a random thing depending on how much die they put in. My test line is very strong, comes up instantly. That's all I can say, and sure we'll know more on tuesday.

Next week the first years college students are arriving...let's the madness begin!!

13dp5dt (4w4d) and beta

The HPT this morning looked promising, still pregnant and probably more intense, I thought it was at least as intense as the test line (by the time it had dried at least). 

Would it have been enough? I went in to the clinic got the blood test and waited. I would have been happy with 150, better 180 or so. 

I just got the call and the value has gone up to 218!! Isn't it great? Doubling time of 30.4 hours, pretty much in line with the previous result. I am a bit relieved that it looks unlikely to be ectopic at this stage. I still want to go in for an early scan and I left a message with the Fav Doctor to see when she'll be happy to give it a go. I'm hoping she'll chance it for next monday (5w2d). 

HCG summary:

9dp5dt: 25

11dp5dt: 73

13dp5dt: 218

To be honest with you the first value didn't give me much hope, but for now it's looking good, another day in the Personal Penguin life, and he seems to be a right fighter! Don't give up little one, despite my best effort I'm feeling more and more attached to you every day that goes by.

11dp5dt (beta update)

I have stitches on my right side. It can be just in my head of course, and I do remember I had them with Oliver too, still not a nice thing to feel!

Tested again this morning, I'm sure you are sick and tired of my HPT pics, but I can't help doing all the comparisons between this series and the previous ones! So here it is for your delight, line getting definitely stronger, we'll see if the HCG will follow suit.

I'm going to the clinic shortly, will update when they call me back with the results. It will have to be at least 50. I had 52 with Oliver at 10dp5dt (but even though he was frozen, the embryologist said it looked like he never was and had fully re-expanded before transfer). Today is 11dp5dt maybe it will be ok. Thanks to you all for the kind support in my never straight forward positive cycles!

Beta update
The clinic just called, the number is up to 73! This gives a good doubling time of 31 hours. In fact, as you know I'm paranoid and I would have liked a less fast doubling time. With the ectopics, believe it or not, I never had that erratic increase you read on the internet. My beta were good. Great in fact, doubling time between 27 and 29 hours. With Oliver, the only normal pregnancy I had a doubling time of 37 hours. In any case, I am safe for now, nothing can happen at this gestational age, I'm going in again on wednesday for a 3rd blood draw and take it from there. I am happy, still very very cautious, but happy for now. I want my Personal Penguin!

10dp5dt

You, my friends, are wonderful. I can't help being very very cautious. You know, among the signs I never mentioned, there's the fact that August cycles never brought good news when it came to pregnancies. I am trying, I swear, to tell myself this is ridiculous etc, but you know how it is.

Anyway, this morning I had a bit of brown spotting, nothing major, and certainly nothing that made me freak out as such, it could be the Personal Penguin nestling in of course, it could be that today would correspond to the change of the month, and of course it could be ectopic (but I am doing all I can to block this out of my mind). It could be that yesterday I was on my own with Oliver quite a bit and I just cannot not cuddle him and lift him when he wants me to hold him. He is a real baby we have, in my scale of priority he's a mile ahead of the potential one growing inside. Mike is being fantastic, he's doing a lot around the house (did I tell you we got finally someone to help with the house cleaning? She's on holiday now though) and handles Oliver's lifting, dressing, bathing etc since the day of the transfer, so I have as much time as I need to take it easy.

I of course tested again to see which way the line was going. I was quite prepared to see it vanishing, but it didn't, it's stronger. We are still talking quite significantly lighter than the control, but what can I expect when my value yesterday was 25?

Beta #2 tomorrow. If I compare numbers with Oliver's pregnancy, I think this looks at least a couple of days behind, unless beta pick up swiftly tomorrow. So this pregnancy lives to see another day. But I think (fear) its days are numbered.

Hello Deng (beta update)

Signs started being more positive in the last couple of days. Yesterday I even won 5 solitaires in a row (thanks to Mina for reminding me about the cards game!) and the number 8 ball upon being asked the question "Will I get a BFP tomorrow?" answered "Decidedly so". The physical symptoms also became a bit more difficult to ignore, two nights in a raw I woke up in a sweat, that only happened to me during pregnancy, but still, maybe the progesterone does the same.
In any case, last night I also had THE dream that it was positive.

And this morning it was positive. Second line definitely there, not very strong at all, but I don't have to squint to see it.

It's 9dp5dt, we are cautiously optimistic (very cautiously). It was a FET and the blast didn't look that good or at least not that expanded like we had with Oliver. I'm going to try and go for bloods today and monday, I don't think they'll be able to process today sample till monday, but I am at such a high risk for ectopic I don't want to delay any investigation. It's funny how depending on your past experience the priority after seeing a positive test change. For most is to have a baby at the end of it, for me, still, is trying not to end up in emergency surgery.

Went in for beta this morning and the clinic already called. 25. What a number, eh? We just have to wait and see how it goes on monday, Fav Doc was very happy, but she always is. I would have been happier with a 40.  Never straight forward with us, hold on tight for this new ride.

Going home tomorrow

Today is the last day in Italy. We've already checked-in for the flight tomorrow (on-line check-in is great) and we are now thinking about how to organise the pick-up of the cats! I so look forward to seeing them again! I hope they'll settle back in the house no problem.

And to terminate my holiday well, I decided to get a blood test to see if I'm positve for toxoplasmosis (I've linked a website if you want to know more) as we know Patches is definitely not a carrier but we don't know about The Dude. Also, in Italy they test regularly for this while in Ireland nobody ever mentioned it (and it costed me a fraction in any case!). I'll get my results next friday, my sister will collect it for me.

Now...of course I thought....how about I get my hcg tested again, just so that I can freak out when the value won't be too high...so I did it in the same private lab. The results were ready at 4pm today and it read 12.464 mU/mL. Looking at my previous data is in line, not very high but within the expected doubling time for 6w5d. But I had to freak out nonetheless. The range given by this lab has values for 6-7 weeks from the LMP starting at 10500. I checked everything online and every range I found gives for 6-7 weeks of pregnancy values starting between 1000 and 3000! So what the hell was wrong with this lab??

Eventually I noticed that the values they give for 4-5 weeks from the LMP start at 1500!!! No way someone has those values unless they have multiplets! Also they give less than 4 for a negative which is normal, so what week is someone in if she has values between 4 and 1500? I called the lab of course, but by the time I had realised that their table should have stated "from ovulation" rather than "LMP" the doc was gone. Ah well. Mum is determined to call them on monday in any case. I found a girl who posted on a local board who had a BFP after 15dpIUI, went to the same lab and she had a value of 289 and couldn't tell i she was pregnant from that damn table! Criminal, in my opinion!

Ah well, the only important thing will be the viability scan anyway. I admit I'm worried the dream will end once again. But I suppose this is the path we all have to walk.

123 ***Update: Adoption news!***

I just got the call. Beta doubled from 52 (I can't believe I always hear the numbers wrong! Not that it's a major difference of course but still...am I going deaf or something?) to 123.

I then also rechecked my old posts and my first beta in August was 57 not 67! Where do I have my head I don't know. So we are pretty much in the same ballpark figure.

I kept telling myself that I would have been very happy with a 110 so I should be really really happy with 123....but probably deep deep down I was hoping for a number around 150...I know I know... never happy around here.

The HCG calculator says I'm bang on the mean values, ok maybe slightly lower:

But I won't be fooled I know it means nothing really. The doubling time is also good apparently, around 37.84 hours. It is a step in the right direction AND it was a frozen little embryo so my Elvis is doing well so far. The Doctor was very happy and said at 12dp5dt they are happy with anything near 100. So I'll take the 123.

Thanks so much for your comments on my last post, I think I have calm down in that respect. And certainly this evening we have a lot to think about with the packing, Patches going to the foster home for the holiday and the Dude going to the cattery tomorrow morning! So I'll keep busy!

Oh, of course I had POAS this morning so I knew the line was definitely darker, and again the comparison saga took place! And by the way, I too have them all photographed and in a folder on my computer! What can I say, I want to try and enjoy the holiday, it will go whichever way it's supposed to be. Checking out for now, I'll miss you all, I'll try and post from Italy to let you know how things are going!

***Update. I just had to update the blog! When we got home this evening we had mail. It was from the adoption board!! We finally got our waiting list number!! It's 4483. We have no idea what number they are dealing with at present, but it's nice to finally BE a number too!! Of course we deeply hope we will have to postpone our prep course next year as we may be busy with Elvis, but it's still great we have been finally deemed suitable to at least attend the course!

Patches has been brought to the foster home and settled in very well, they love him already and he did all the cute things at the right time! We are confident he'll be well and they'll enjoy his company. That's it for now, I haven't packed a thing yet, I'm really tired and still have to do ll the evening injections...***

First results 10dp5dt FET

I tested again this morning and I wasn't really sure the line was much darker...for one thing yesterday test was a bit weird with the test line coming up uneven in intensity...I'm sure you could see it too, with the bottom part darker than the top part. Today's test was definitely even but overall looked very similar to the darker part. Go figure. Don't they know that us infertile women are so analytical a faulty test can drive us round the bend?

So, of course, I fished out the tests of the August pregnancy and I started looking at how intense the test line was with respect to the control and so on. Obviously asking Mike for his opinion a million times when I was not happy with the answer or how long he looked at the test for etc. And I have obsessed ever since.

By the intensity of today line I was expecting a value around 30. It was stronger definitely than my first ectopic pregnancy (when I could barely see a positive test line 13dp3dt) and the beta were 18. I don't have those tests any more though so who knows!

At 5.30 this afternoon I still had got no call back from the clinic. I texted the Favourite Doctor (I know I know...sure I had to go pee and I knew the phone would ring then!) to see if she had seen the results, no worries if not, I would have called the clinic in the morning. She rang back straight away and said the number was very good, given that it was 2 days early AND on a frozen cycle, she was very happy to tell me it was 53! I was delighted, the intensity of the test definitely fooled me this time. Of course we have to see how it goes on wednesday, they are happy to have a value around 100 and if mine doubles I should be right on target.

Now, the last time, my beta on a fresh cycle on the same day was 57 and I'm sure I had two embryos implanting given that even after the surgery to remove the viable ectopic pregnancy I had still sky-high beta values and needed MTX shot.

For now I'm happy. I would say cautiously feeling positive. Until wednesday that is. I have no more tests in the house, I wonder if I'll resist temptation....

I now want to add a paragraph to this post like many of you have done before. Please don't feel you have to comment or come and read. I know some of you are dealing with recent losses and having been there myself I understand how you feel about reading of a positive test. Even if it has not been by any means an easy one to get. Even if I know you know with my history this can be over in no time. My heart goes out to you and I really mean it. Forever hugs and I will keep hoping and praying for you all.

Finally!

I didn't think this day would come and yet here I am with a HCG down to 3! Oh finally, finally finally I will not have to go back for another blood test next week! The midwives this morning came all to say hello (imagine! they know me by name now! ALL of them!) they all knew my values were low the last time so this woudl have been probably the last visit for a good while.

They all said next time I'll meet them it'll be for a good reason and they all can't wait to see me for a proper baby-scan! Weren't they nice? Lovely all of them. When the chief-midwife called me with the results (yes! it happened again! unbelievable) she said to make sure that the next time I'm pregnant I have to book a very early scan. I told her that I had phoned this time too but that they didn't seem to want to book me in before seven weeks. She was horrified and told me to ask for her directly and she'l sort things out. Nice.

I have a few bloggers to thank for awards (THANK YOU!) and I'll work on them in the next day or so.

Meanwhile the only other news I have is that I am now part of this newly born "Ectopic pregnancy Ireland" support group! It's such an early stage and there is a lot to do, but hopefully we'll have soon a website and a support-phoneline! The girls (only 6 of us in total so far!) have already applied for a Governament recognition of the charity organization, they have prepared leaflet already to be distributed to hospital and they have been already medically approved. I feel great about this, I cannot say how much. I haven't met them yet, it is all dealt with by emails and over the phone, but because we shared the same experience it's as if we know eachother already!

HCG nearing zero!

Well well well I'm so happy to report that my HCG reading yesterday was in fact 14!! And I couldn't be happier! I also got AF visiting! Another good sign that things are in fact becoming normal. Jeez, it wasn't quick, was it? But what can I do...I am just pleased that eventually everything was sorted out. And would you believe, yesterday I actually got THE phone call from the hospital informing me of the results. So I still have to go in next week on tuesday because they want to see a <2 reading and I'm also happy with that. Hopefully it'll be the last prick for a while.
Having a great time with my sister so, again, apologies for being a bit idle at the moment! I also want to thank all my new followers, I just love having you reading my blog.

No other major news to share a part from the fact that we are considering buying a new house! Of course, I have to keep myself busy while waiting for other things to happen...

Back from...Paris! And HCG behaving well

My dears,

I can now reveal that the chosen destination for the mystery weekend was..... PARIS!
Yes, the romantic city by definition! Actually I had taken the idea of Paris from my cyber firend Clare who went there a little while ago and then posted a fantastic post called "We'll always have Paris!". And I thought it was just the perfect place. I had been there a couple of times but Mike only went when he was a child so I figured he probably didn't have a fresh memory of it.

I had booked a very nice hotel near the Louvre (hell...it wasn't cheap, but a treat is what we really needed) and because I mentioned it was Mike's birthday they arranged a little present for him!

So all Mike knew was that I was driving, guessed it was somewhere in Ireland and probably a Spa hotel! WRONG! I drove alright, but to the airport! When we got there he was a bit unsettled, not knowing where we were going and all. I had checked in on-line you see, so it was a real surprise until we got to the gate! He loved it though and we had a great time. Weather was great which always helps and we managed to see quite a lot. Yesterday we went up on the Tour Eiffel (how many steps?? didn't count, but my legs are in bits!) and Mike said it was the best birthday present ever! Hopefully I'll have a better one some day...

And we are back to reality now, back to blood tests, back to lack of calls from the hospital...the usual! But the news is good! Today blood test gave an HCG at 101! A fall of 85% in a week!! Brilliant. Now I actually don't know if I have to go back, when I phoned the nurse attempted the card that the ward was closed and to call tomorrow. Ahhah she didn't know I know the game by now, so at least I got the number off of her and I suppose i'll go back again weekly until it goes to zero.

Last thursday I also went to see the berievement midwife. The chat went very well, we both acknowledged that I have now dealt with the loss and moved on. I really want to try and make something out of this experience, I have been doing quite a lot of volounteering when I was back home, so I asked if there was anything I coudl do to help others who went through the same tough time. She gave me a number of an Irish association for miscarriage support, I'll phone the chair-lady this evening! Fran is back on track!

Sorry for not having being able to post on your blogs, I'll catch up in no time! I promise!

Good news and ICLW week

HCG is finally dropping!!! 4 days after the methotrexate shot the values plummeted from 1023 to 681!!! How's that for a birthday present? I don't have to go in on wednesday at this point (it would have been day 7 after the shot) but monday next week to see how it goes! I am sooooooo happy....imagine, being happy about dropping HCG! The World is spinning backwards!

Now for the ICLW newcomers here's a brief recap of my (mis)adventure. Our second fresh ICSI cycle in July gave us a lovely BFP...only to find out at 6w that it was ectopic again. A month ago today I underwent surgery which removed my second tube. The first one was lost to another ecopic pregnancy a year ago after our first fresh ICSI. I'm sure you can all imagine the shock of this...event (can't think of a better word) happening again in both cases after successful IVF procedures. Call me lucky.
Anyway, this time around things didn't quite settled after surgery. A routine HCG test 2 weeks post op showed that the hormones were sky high. This ment either that some cells were left behind after laparoscopic procedure (possible) or that the second embryo implanted also outside the uterus, didn't really developed but was not miscarried either and generated a cellular mass producing HCG (a bit less likely, but we are talking about me here!). Anyway, after a number of bloodtests which never really showed a drop in the levels (stabilised at just over 1000) finally I got a methotrexate shot to put an end to this misery. And this is the reason of the message at the beginning of this post, it's working!!
So I'm now 35, hopefully the levels will continue to drop and I can detox myself in preparation for a new ICSI cycle in the new year.
Meanwhile we are also waiting to hear back about our adoption application which we submitted in June 09. I'll wait until the end of the month and then I give them a call to see what is the current situation, the wait will be incredibly long but hey what do we have to loose?
Thanks for stopping by, I always love to have new readers!

The Ectopic Queen and other updates

What a week! Sorry for not updating, this week work has been crazy, and yesterday I was at a conference I helped organising, I just didn't have a minute.

So on wednesday I went back to the hospital for yet another blood test. I decided to stay in town until the results were ready. I got a scan done too and the uterus looked great, so did the ovaries and...wait, what is that? There was a 1.2 cm mass between my left ovary and the uterus. Could it have been the second embryo in the stump of the tube? She didn't know. It would have been unlikely that the two embryos of the same age had such a different development, but you never know. The blood test was going to tell us more.
I had a nice lunch, bought a book and went back to the hopsital around 3 pm. The beta was ready and it was still above 1000. By the way, I thought the results on friday was 1007...yet again I got it wrong, it was 1078! But on wednesday it was 1023 (I saw it in writing this time!) so a bit lower but not significant according to the doctor. I had a chat with the doctor on duty and decided to go for the methorexate shot. He agreed. More blood tests, more waiting, and finally I got the injections. No big deal if it wasn't for the doctor who put on safety goggles, a plastic apron and gloves up to his elbows!!! I suppose it was for his own safety. The injections were IM, and I was absolutely fine afterwards. I had to go to the conference dinner in the evening and that was ok too.

And yesterday it was my birthday! So now I'm 35. Wow. My 34th started with me being pregnant (but when I found that out I was still 33) and discovered a few days later it was ectopic. Then I had a second ectopic which I hope will resolve with the shot I got when I was still 34! I have to say I look forward to this new year, I hope it'll bring good things. And sure the clock is ticking away but there's nothing I can do about it. Mike, who's not the type that surprises you with presents (normally he asks what I want for my birthday) totally blew me away...when we got home after the conference, there was a big package on my chair in the kitchen, he bought me a clock we had seen two years ago in Spain and never saw anything I liked as much since! He started looking for it over the internet before the summer! Unelievable. And then today when I got to my office, there was a huge bunch of flowers on my chair! I thought it was from the lab but nope...it was again from my lovely husband!! So I sarted saying to him that I hope my surprise would keep up with the high standard he has set...it's only a week away!

Are we there yet?

Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the one and only stable HCG person on the planet!

Yes, that would be me. This morning we went to the hospital, got the blood done and the midwife was once again brilliant! She contacted Dr. A before I left so that we can have a plan given that is, once again, friday. Dr. A would have called me with the results and talk to me directly after lunch.
And so she did, she asked how I was (I'm well, but I think I ate something wrong yesterday...) and if I had any bleeding (no, I don't think so, but maybe a slightly slightly coloured mucus?). Anyway the HCG on sunday was 964 and today was 1007. She definitely calls this a plateau. Really no difference. Actually I think we may have reached a turning point! From 885 to 964 in two days and now after five more we are to 1007. I'd say we've gone around the corner. Could it be that it's actually slowley going down?
So what do we do now? She said she's really trying to hold off on the methotrexate because she said "You really cannot start IVF again for two month if you get the shot" I said "No worries! I don't think we'll try again for at least 4 months" but still the values are not going to increase now I think and we can wait a little longer to make a decision. I'm going in on wednesday for yet another blood test and a scan (given that I had two embryos transferred back and that she's very confident they removed the pregnancy with the laparoscopy, could I have picked the lucky ticket for two ectopics for the price of one within the same IVF?) and we decide that day how we progress. If the values haven't dropped I'll definitely insist on the injection. She said the side effect are actually minimal and yes of course I can feel a bit sick with it but it's more likely I won't.

Today a year ago I found out our first ICSI had worked. Can you celebrate a BFP anniversary even if it turned out to be an ectopic? Still I feel in the last year a lot had happened, I got pregnant twice and maybe a third time wasn't far off! This is out of four transfers! Ok I have no babies yet, but I know ladies who never got a second line on those damn sticks, and even though the happiness for us was short lived, it still was one of the happiest moment in my life.

We do have a plan!

Work is crazy at the moment, the academic year has started and I hardly have time to eat! So I didn't manage to update on our meeting with the Super Doctor.

It went very well, of course he said we just have to try again and hopefully our embryos will stick to the right place. We dicussed a lot the stats of another ectopic pregnancy, but he said that if it happens again we'll make a publication out of it! And to basically stay positive and hopefully things will be fine. When we'll be ready to go again I'll be on the same short protocol which worked really well for me. Of course I told him about the HCG being still high and the "wait and see" attitude of Dr. A. He also thinks it's probably good too see if it'll decrease on its own and that there is no real reason to panic as the increase was so minimal. In fact he said that if some cells have in fact been left behind, it may be to my advantage as some scarring of the stump may take place blocking the access even more. I asked him about more surgery before going again (remember? to remove the stumps and the fybroid) but in his opinion could be a bit excessive. So we'll see. Overall it was a great meeting and we came out quite reassured. Then we bumped into the Favourite Doctor and she wanted to know all about how I was, so she brought us into one of the scan rooms and we had a great chat. She thinks this HCG value is high but you never know, she said with me she woudn't be surprised if there was in fact a second ectopic! But obviously I'm feeling well so she's not worried and on friday we'll know in any case. Her husband happens to be an oncologyst and we found out we live very near! I asked her about the methotrexate shot and she said it's very effective but that I can be sick for a few days if I have to get it done. I may loose some hair (hopefully from the legs!) but the dose is so mild I may not even notice. She wants me to stay in touch and le her know how things work out.
Tomorrow it'll be a very early start as I'm teaching at 10 and I have to drive into town beforehand for the blood test! Better going to bed early tonight...

Do we have a plan?

Last night I mange to talk to the doctor again. She was very apologetic for the delay in getting back to me, apparently there were only two doctors on call and it was just crazy. She was very nice over the phone of course, and very reassuring. She said she checked with the other doctor as well and they both felt that the best thing woudl be to talk this morning with the consultant who oversees my case. She said she was going to be on duty all night and that she would call me tomorrow with a plan. She was very sympathetic and knew I just couldn't be left in limbo, and she aslo said that they had received the offial pathology report and that the pregnancy was normal, no sign of trophoblasts (that was my fear, particular cells from the pregnancy that starts replicating out of control) and that although my HCG is a little high, it's no where near the values of a trophoblastic tumor. The fact that I feel well is of course an other indication that this is no emergency to them. She said probably with my knowledge and background I have "been reading a bit too much into the numbers" and I think it's "probably true".

So this morning then I was called twice, once by one of the midwives who deals with all the consultant's cases (we'll call the consultant Dr. A) and she said Dr. A was aware of my results, and that she'll call me tomorrow in person but that she doesn't think there is the need to be worried and that it could be a physiological plateau (basically between 885 and 967 there isn't much of a difference in medical term) and that the best thing is to recheck the HCG ths coming friday and have a better idea which way they are going.
Then the lovely doctor from last night called me (it must have been around 10 am this morning, she must have had some shift!), again she confirmed what the midwife said, she had spoken with Dr. A who thinks this could be completely normal and that given my high HCG before surgery, two weeks was just too early to check. Of course we'll repeat the HCG and that if the value is truly creeping up on friday we'll have a plan in place.

I do feel less worried, I still think these numbers are going in the wrong direction, but hey, can I be wrong for once in this pregnancy please??? Friday is only three days away so it's not a long wait and if they are creeping up this slow it's not going to make a major difference acting today or in a few days time.

And I also got a text from the Favourite Doctor, she had received the report from the clinic and wondered how my HCG was at the last count. So I told her and she said to let her know what the plan was. Today I also have the appointment with the Super Doctor, so many things have happened meanwhile that I'm not ready with all my questions! Maybe I can just listen this time.

Going up

Well who would have guessed...the HCG is not falling at all but climbing nicely.
I actually had the numbers wrong on friday, it wasn't 864 but 885 and two days later is 967. So what this means is that something has been left behind during the surgery and keps growing. We are talking cells here, not an embryo of course.
So I'm waiting now for the doctor to call back. I called the hospital at around 3pm and was told "of course you'll be called back, probably your tests aren't back yet". I call again at 5.30 pm I had heard nothing. After an a nurse or two who kept telling me it was late and that there was nothing they coudl do until tomorrow morning, finally I was put through to the Gyn ward and the nurse there must have remembered my name or something. Anyway, she looked up my chart and told me that in fact my numbers were going in the wrong direction and that she would try to put me through to a doctor. This doctor happened to be the same who spoke with me on friday, she couldn't believe I didn't get called today (ah well) and that she would look at my chart and get back to me with a plan.
So here I am waiting again. I guess the plan would be the get a methotraxate injection and keep the HCG under close monitoring and if that's the case I want to get it done yesterday.
I'll update you as soon as I have news, sorry for not having posted much on your blogs lately.

Another blow

I went in for my "routine" blood test today. Two weeks after surgery. I had POAS last weekend and the line was there but very faint, so I was confident today my HCG should have been very low if not zero. Zero would have been great, moving on, looking forward to the appointment on tuesday an planning what we will do next.

I got a call from the hospital and the HCG is 864...this is still very high. The doctor over the phone asked me if I was feeling well (I am), if I was still bleeding (I'm not), and that they were confident they removed all the material two weeks ago. I still have to go in on sunday for another blood test just to make sure the values are in fact falling and not increasing.

This is neverending...

Frankenstein's belly!

Meaning mine! I somehow don't remember my belly being so bruised the last time...probably the clex.ane and the aspirine made things a bit worse, but honestly it's horrible to look at! Around each entry point (four in total) I have a big bruise going now all colours of the rainbow. At least they kind of went very close to the entry points I had the previous time so when all is settled I shouldn't be too different from before. A part from the belly button...it seems they have shrunk it! Ah well, it's not like I'm a teenager going around showing my belly, so probably it's not that big of a deal anyway.

I didn't have much to write these days so I didn't but I did read your updates and commented just in case you were worried about me ehehe. So while reading your blogs, I've asked my cyber friend Sam who had a lap only last wednesday, how her belly was coming along. Well...first of all she had her stitches removed 3 days after her op while the nurse in my case was not sure if I had disolvable stitches or not (...right...) but opted for the first option. My stitches are still there!! So after Sam replied to me I decided it was time for them to go and I removed them myself. At least now I don't have that pulling going on any time I stretch! The belly thanked me and started looking better already! I will not post a pic as I don't want to loose you my beloved followers, but trust me they had heavy hands this time!

So what's new. Well, the midwife specialised in ealry losses called me yesterday. I had called her on Monday when I was probably at my lowest and left a message. She did in fairness try to call me on wednesday, but I couldn't take the call so she left a message saying she would call on friday. And she did. I told her I was already feeling much much better but that probably it was no harm to go and see her once and get her expert opinion (like...I "think" I'm better but I'm going to crash soon!). She said that was a very good thing to do in any case and given that it's a free service (free!! I don't remember the last time I had something for free in Ireland) why not. I was already prepared for months of waiting list...and surprise! That's not the case either! She's going on holidays for two weeks and she'll see me on the 24th of September! Amazing. As for the rest I'm doing well I think, really looking forward to my HCG next friday and above all the appointment with the Super Doctor on the 8th.

I have started my two week detox plan and it's going well. I'm taking a food supplement which, believe it or not, it's specific for women on a detox plan (jeez...they really are one step ahead of the the consumer!), then I'm drinking a lot of water, I'm having a cup of green tea during the day (ideally at 11am but I don't get my head around it until 2pm it seems!), a detox juice with my lunch in work (carrot, apple and ginger, delicious!) and then I drink 500ml of herbal tea after dinner. Not sure if any of this actually does help you clening your liver from toxins, but I enjoy it anyway.

My period seems to be finishing off after a good 6 days (usually I'm more of a 3 days plus a couple with spotting) and still some traces, but I think I have some CM already! Not that it will be any good of course, but it's nice to know my ovaries are getting back to business.

Finally I have to tell you that Mike was extremely touched by all your comments on his posts and on himself afterwards, and given that he never really blogged or activily partecipated to a forum community, it all came as a bit of surprise to him. He kept saying in amazement how nice you all were! I know I have a lurker now! And I'm planning a very nice weekend for the two of us for his birthday in September, as a big big thank you for all he has done for me, I won't say any more for the moment just in case, but I'll tell you all about it afterwards!
I want to thank you also for having shared your stories with me, talking to people who have gone through the same bad luck helped immensely and above all, gave me much more hope for the future.

Ps: I was nearly forgetting! The pub was great!! Really enjoyed it!

Hanging in there

Well, I don't have much of an update but I really wanted to tell you that all your comments are keeping me sane. The bleeding/spotting has completely stopped since monday afternoon (I bleed a bit after the scans) and in fact now I have completely clear mucus which I believe is normal. No pain on the right side which is good. Some twinges but no cramps. Of course I know this means nothing until we have a proper ultrasound but still...

I didn't go back to the hospital yesterday, couldn't be bothered even phoning in my beta as of monday. One girl that posts on the board I post too told me that the same hospital screwed up her daughter bloodtest too and that nearly brought tears to my eyes!! Maybe maybe they did screw them up.
Reading around (as you can imagine I've done this nearly 24/7!) there is also the possibility that I did miscarry one of the embryos. This, assuming no lab error was made, would fit well with the HCG odd behaviour and the fact that they did indeed pick up again on monday. We'll just have to wait and see. Yesterday to be honest I wasn't feeling positive at all, started wrecking my head with all the possible scenarios of discrepancies between values and the fact that I don't have one from the clinic for friday is my main worry (like...what if the lab result from the clinic on friday would have been indeed in the 3000 range...) but then I know there is no point. I have taken a few days off work, basically I think I'll go back next monday if everything is well, this is too important to be underestimated. Mam will go back tomorrow and she was a fantastic help.
I have gone out of the house yesterday and today for nice walks, and it didn't seem to bring bleeding along. The Favourite Doctor actually said there is not much point in staying in bed really. So that's the news for today, thanks to all of you and big hugs.