As usual every time I look at the blog I think I really should update it and then I don't. But now it seems a perfect moment to do so, I'm in my sunny balcony while the children are playing outside and it just fits.
So what has happened since the finalised divorce hearing. I have a new partner. Actually I have known him since the years in Dublin, we were colleagues till he moved back to Switzerland and then I moved to Nottingham, and very much incredibly we have found each other in the same city and working again in the same Department in the same university. We had of course kept in touch and he has been essential in helping us settle in, we have spent always a lot of time together with the families and my children always liked him which is a major plus. Mike always liked him to, which I am not sure how he feels about it now that we got together. Martin is divorced and has two daughters a bit older than mine kids, and let's just say...a more complex situation with his ex.
As we both were free last summer, it seemed quite normal to go out together for walks and stuff when neither of us had children duties and one thing let to another.
I'm very very happy, I think for Mike maybe it has been a bit quick, but to be honest for me the divorce was only a very final consolidation of an inner separation I felt for years, so I was more than ready to move on and have some fun again. I am not sure if I am still in the "honeymoon" period where everything seems about perfect, but I'm for sure much more at ease and relaxed and my anxiety is under control. Not only this but both Oliver and Martina have settled so so much in the last several months, yes of course it may be that they are growing up also but I think that they feel that I am so much happier too.
Mike is doing extremely well also, his work is going great, I don't think he has anyone yet, but we see each other often and I am delighted that he has friends and things to do for himself. He is definitely regaining self-esteem and independence. I am really hopeful that he will find a partner also.
We went skiing all together last February, Mike had the children the first half of the week and I took them the second half. He decided to stay in a different hotel which was totally ok of course, and he has zero problems in getting the children ready and up at the ski school well on time (this was always a major struggle when we were together). Even my therapist says that the way our relationship is now is a rare event and of course this benefits the children greatly too. Let's hope it will get better and better.
Oliver is in 5th class and doing remarkably well, he has many friends and he is growing up really fast. I love the deeper conversations we are having now, of course he still has his moments but what a change in just a couple of years! By next year he will be assessed for which type of high school he is best suited. He really has to put a bit more effort in studying rather than just doing the bare minimum or it won't be enough. It's frustrating because he could totally do much more, but settles for the least work possible.
Martina is in 3rd class and also loves going to school, she is full of friends and is doing very well. She inherited Oliver's last year teacher so we know her already and it's very easy. Seems that Martina is a very high achiever and actually quite competitive in school (an aspect we don't see too often at home), and sometimes this causes her a bit of anxiety before class tests etc.
I think this summarises the main points of the past 9 (!) months, I really hope I can find the dedication to write more often as I love keeping this diary. I hope you are all well.