Almost Boston time

Heading off tomorrow and hopefully the hurricane will have lost strength and moved further north. I am very excited about this week away. I admit, I need some me time. I need to switch off the permanently on call button, I need to listen to my music and go back to a proper 20 minutes meditation, I need (desperately) to recharge my batteries as I am exhausted. I don't feel exhausted, I simply am. I may even be able to read a book. I realised it's been two years since I had a night to myself, when I went to the same conference after our amazing trip to California.

My parents arrived yesterday with great excitement on Oliver's part and a little perplexity on Martina's side who, I think, was wondering how it was possible that the people in the computer were now here in the kitchen. But one day in and she has already warmed up to the guests!
I have packed the suitcase (almost), found a few dollars from the last trip in a jar in the kitchen and charged my ipod, laptop and phone. I have packed a swimming suit as I want to go to the pool on campus during the week. However this may be a bit of an optimistic thought as my period has decided to be late again. So it'll probably start tomorrow or sunday, just as I am travelling.

I want to get back blogging a bit more often even if it's just for myself and my soul. It is good for me to be talking about life and feelings even if the original purpose of this blog has morphed significantly. It did me a world of good when I was going through infertility, I think it will help with the anxiety too, I have to write it down. I know it is less interesting for the wider blogging community, specially for those still chasing what may seem a chimera baby (and I wish you from the bottom of my heart that it will be a reality very soon) but it may still be nice for my long time cyberfriends to see how I get on and what we are up too (thank you Valery!). I know I miss a lot my old cyber friends, those that have stopped blogging altogether and those that are now posting very seldom. Maybe there is someone left out there thinking the same about me! Don't worry if you don't have time to comment, I know this is my life and not yours and you may have nothing to say, just let me know occasionally you are stopping by, I'll love it!

I'm considering changing the title of the blog, but I am so attached to it. What do you think?

Cyber Friends

I was so so fortunate to be able to meet in person two fantastic cyber friends that I have followed for years. Best When Used By and Rain were as amazing as I expected. I think the best thing of meeting people you "know" through the blogs and occasional emails, is that there is an immediate connection, things are easy, there is lots to talk about and it feels like you know them quite well already. I met Cadet who is the softest baby ever, really he's so so cute and cuddly, Oliver was really taken by him too! And Scout is such a big boy now, we had a lovely time at the park with me and BWUB chasing after the children up and down the slides. I also had the chance of meeting Rain's husband, McRuger, we had a family day out with them and again it was so easy going and enjoyable, I wish we could have done it again. Seriously! And I'm hoping they'll be coming to Ireland one day soon and though we don't have the weather to offer (Rain may actually love the weather here!) and neither the food, I'm sure we would have a great time together. Now, BWUB is about to become mom again (twins!) so I suspect she'll be busy for a while, and Rain is planning adoption number two...but one can hope right? Worse case, we'll be meeting them in Cali the next time we go over!

In FET news, today was the last scan. The Favourite Doctor was there and scanned me herself! There was a new doctor that joined the clinic and so she assisted at the scan too. I love when this happens as generally I learn a lot more. My lining is at a whopping 11.1 mm! Wow! The transfer is confirmed for thursday next week at 4pm and hopefully I won't start panicking about my penguins surviving the thaw...ok, I'm already thinking about it... Anyway. I'll start progesterone in two days time and maybe I should start listening to the meditation tape soon...Stay tuned!

Outpouring of love and chicken pox (for real!)

You guys are amazing! Thank you so much for all the comments on my last post, it felt like a warm hug and I nearly had tears in my eyes. I LOVE this community, I truly do. Junebug and Alex said something about expanding our readership into parenting blogs (which I have not searched for to be honest, I like to read those I  knew from the beginning of the journey) and I think they are right, I will do something about it.

Today is the first official day of Spring and my MIL 73 birthday! She is one amazing woman, after all she's been through she always seems to come out the other end with the same positive attitude. I wish her many more of these days.

This time I do believe Oliver has chicken pox. Yesterday when I picked him up from the crèche they mentioned he seemed to have a few spots in the nappy area but given the previous false alarm they didn't call us and just kept an eye on him. He was in fab form (while we had a few tantrums at home over the weekend) but this morning he definitely had a few more spots...he has no temp so we brought him in but I suspect we'll be called as soon as they change his nappy! Of course I have a very busy work schedule so we'll have to see how we can get through the next few days if we have to keep him home.

 Better go, I have labs all day and a lecture in the middle!

Walking. Wooden wedding anniversary. Blogging.

Oliver took his first few steps unaided on Tuesday the 12th of March! You should have seen his little face when he realised what was happening! We spent a good while getting him to walk from me to Mike and viceversa. He'll be always on his feet in no time.

Tomorrow is our 5th anniversary and I just read wood is it's symbol...of course we don't have anything planned, it's St. Patrick's day and it's supposed to rain (nothing new there!) so I don't really feel like going to a parade to be honest. I'm finally feeling better but still not 100% despite the round of antibiotics and Oliver would get bored for sure.

I feel I have to add my 2 cents to the blogging "tension" currently going on. I never had one bad comment and never felt excluded by the blog-community. I also blog to keep track of what is happening and of course my blog moved from infertility and the drama that came with it to a pregnancy blog to a parenting blog. I don't know what else it'll be turning into in the future but I like to think that it can be anything I like. One thing I certainly noticed is that I can now count on one hand the comments I may get any time I post. I have cyber friends who I know will stop by to see what happens in my side of the World and would live a message, and other who may just be reading and say nothing. I would hope that, should I need support at some point in the future that they will be there for me like in the past, but of course I don't know that. I do feel a bit sad at times, as if I've lost friends. So I'm not sure if it's because the bloggers that once shared infertility and are now happily parenting have no time/need to come back and say hello, or if it's because there's now this parallel community which I didn't join but I really should, or if it's because my blog has become boring. Well, I tell you what, I am truly happy that my complaint now is that my life is normal and with no drama, long may it last!

A cold, a weekend away and blogroll review

I had a cold since Monday. Nothing strange really these days, we seem to get sick in rotation. But this one is a really hard one to shift! By Monday night my left ear was completely blocked and it felt like my left side of the face was about to explode! Do you guys have colds on just one side? Of course I had a terrible night, not breathing, sore ear etc. Tuesday I went to the doctor, this cold lodged itself in the sinuses this is why I'm so miserable. My ear is also inflamed but the doc thought it was still likely to be just viral (and I agree), gave me a prescription for antibiotic just in case by Thursday I was no better. Wednesday I was worse, dizzy, sore etc. got tablets which are supposed to help with the sinusitis and they helped a bit. On Thursday I got the antibiotics and today I finally seem to have turned the corner a bit. Still feel quite spaced out which isn't helping my hypochondria...I won't even tell you my thoughts of the last few nights...but I'm sure you can imagine.

Tomorrow we are going to visit friends in the South West and I really hope to be in top shape and not ruin anyone's day. It will be our first weekend away as a family and I feel both excited and a bit anxious about it. We will stay with our friends (they have two children) so hopefully I'll be able to just relax!

So in these days at home I have gone through my blogroll and realised there were still many blogs (not necessarily showing in my side bar) that had not written a thing in over a year. Actually a few didn't even exist anymore! So I did a bit of a clear out. Of course I did the same with my emails. It gives me great pleasure to hit "delete"!

Now...if I could only tackle the house...

oh and I thought I'd mention that today is my parents' 38th anniversary! Wohooo well done mom and dad, not an easy thing these days!

Another week

Friday already! Can you believe it? We had a bit of a rough week, Oliver got sick at the weekend and eventually we went to the emergency doc has his temperature was quite high, he was crying a lot and no sleep at all. The verdict was a very inflamed throat and so we had a light antibiotic to make sure no secondary infection was setting in. He was much better within a couple of days. I stayed home with him till Tuesday and though this never happened before I found it so difficult to go back to work on Wednesday!! Mike came down with the same flu about monday evening so I had two to look after. I seem to have escaped the worse of it though I'm getting a cold just now...

Oliver is making steady progress with cruising, still needs at least one hand to walk but every wall, table or chair is a great "walking aid" for him. His new love is going up the stairs with me or Mike holding his hands and he goes up one full step at the time! Of course for him the steps are as high as his thighs so it's a big effort!We also got some locks for cupboards in the kitchen, mostly where I keep detergents as he seems really curious about that specific press! I bought him his first pair of "real" shoes which are very flexible and soft but will help his stability, in the shop the assistant actually took a pic of Oliver and frame it for us as a big milestone! One thing I liked is that they measured also the width of his foot (both!) to make sure they model was a perfect fit. He loves  wearing them.

I'm still very excited about our trip to the US and delighted I may be meeting even more bloggers! I have not decided yet when I'm going to the East Coast, and of course I don't have to go to Boston directly, could go to New York and have a couple of days there and meet a few more bloggers! So all is possible.

One final thing, I noticed that those blogs that are using the "word verification" thingy when you comment have now a new version of it, if possible even more annoying where you have to type two words which are often illegible! Do you guys get that many spam comments? I removed that check a while ago and eliminated the option for anonymous comments and never had a problem! I read a great post a few months back about how useless that feature is and how it limits comments (if you read from your phone for example), so I invite you to give it a go and see how it goes without it!

Have a great weekend you all. 

Some pics

I finally managed to download the latest pics from Mike's camera. Unfortunately we have none of his first birthday cake and his first haircut! Bohooo!! You'd wonder why that is...well, we do have video-clips but no pics. I'll have to look at how to get single shots out of the camcorder.

Some updates first. Oliver got another upper tooth and a fourth one is almost through! He has moved to the Wobbler room in the crèche and loves it, the new carers are lovely and he was rejoined with a couple of children who were for a while with him in the baby room. And of course Cian is with him too! Our first week back was...tiring as expected but thankfully Oliver is back to a good sleeping routine which is great. We decided to split the nights if he wakes up. One night I get up all the time and the next one Mike does it, otherwise if we both get up we are both really tired the next day and there's no point.

On a very sad note, I only found out at the weekend that Megan, a cyber-friend I followed lost her battle to cancer last November. I was so saddened by the news, she leaves behind her husband and their lovely triplets conceived via FET when her cancer was in remission 2 years ago. The news was posted in Lost and Found but I had missed it. She was inspirational with her approach to life and she fully enjoyed it despite the disease and was not afraid to die. My thoughts and prayers to her family.

 Christmas Eve with my grandmother and my sister

 Family pic

 First taste of chocolate!

 Trying on mamma's skiing helmet. Next year darling!

 With my parents on the skiing trip, it was his birthday!

Call for stories on Ectopic Pregnancies

Hi girls,

as some of you know, I have set up a new blog for Ectopic Pregnancy Ireland.

http://ectopicpregnancyireland.blogspot.com/

I have started a project where I'm featuring stories of ladies who have gone through the same. If you have the time, please have a look at it and if you or someone you know may want to participate, please share the word. While this was born as an Irish support group, we know the web is so powerful it can reach very remote areas of the Globe and we are already getting readers from the US as well as main Europe and even Africa! We are so so excited about it.

Please help us getting visibility, if you have been through an ectopic you know the feeling of loneliness. We want to make sure this will never be the case again. Anything you can do to talk about that blog will be greatly appreciated.

If you feel like writing your story for the project just follow the same format as the stories already reported and email it to me or to the official address and I'll let you know when they go live. If you have blogged about it I'll link your blog to the post and put it in our blogroll.

Thank you so much!

New addition to the menu

I just couldn't resist! he had found his feet a few weeks ago, but this morning he decided to taste his big toe!

Sleep last night was a bit better again, mostly it's me that still can't have a good night sleep. If I wake up, I'm done. For hours. Not sure what's up with me either! At least I don't cry...

I have started two days ago a detox plan for my liver/gallbladder and friends. I really never had problems till after the pregnancy. I blame all the hormones I took like candies for the last few years. So I have a nagging pain on the right, just under my ribcage. I won't deny it, a few times I gave in to hypochondria and thought I had something terrible and lethal. It's more likely to be an overly stressed gallbladder (so I read anyway). Water with a few drops of lemon is one of my best friend. And I bought this utterly expensive herbal mix. I want to be in good shape if I'm going for treatments again in September!

Very quiet blogland lately, but my dear blogger-friend C just had fantastic news as she'll post it herself very soon! I forgot to mention I met her last week and then again this week too! Shame she'll be leaving Ireland for good in just a couple of weeks, but that's always how it happens isn't it? Anyway, if you come to Dublin know that I'll be thrilled to meet you, never doubt that, so if you are up for it just give me a shout!

I'm back!

My friends I've missed you all so much! We flew back yesterday and we settling back into our routine which, as you can imagine, was quite different when we were in Italy! I've so much to catch up and to update, I'm hoping to do so tomorrow.

I'm glad to be back in blogland!

ICLW Mixed Flavours

Welcome old and new cyber-friends. We are in the phase of life where we are finally parenting after a very long journey of infertility, ectopic pregnancies, hopes ans shattered hopes, ICSIs, FETs and eventually pregnancy. The details are on the left sidebar. I hope to come and visit your blog soon and make new friends, this is such an amazing community.

So I went back to the ICLW blog list to see which three topics I had put down and of course now several other things are happening so I'm afraid I won't stick to those themes so much, but that's life isn't it? you plan to do something and then a D-tour must be taken...

First things first. Today my little chicken is 20 weeks old! And tonight he'll be evicted from our room and moved into the nursery. Since last week we transformed his crib into the mini bed

And he had no problem adjusting, in fact I think he feels better now that he has more room to stretch. We had to buy black-out blinds for the nursery window and today's project is to put them up, rearrange the things in the nursery (it's our tiny box-room, he'll move again into the second bedroom once we have the attic fully finished and ready for guests) and hope for the best!

On Thursday night I met a cyber-friend who came to Ireland on holidays (no, not Queen Elizabeth, I don't think she blogs LOL!). Christa and her husband would make such great parents, their FET is just around the corner, let's hope they'll bring home some Irish luck!

And I have to say to you all, in the last few weeks there have been so many BFPs among my cyber friends it's as if all the stars have aligned in a fantastic (and rare) conjunction with the planets and miracles are happening. Some are on my local board (3!!) and several others are in blogland. I am confident one by one all the girls in my top right hand-side list will be moved further down! So if you are cycling now or soon, the stars are on your side!!

Finally my little pet Patches is going through a rough time. He's just over one year old and let me tell ya he has a medical history of a geriatric cat. On his side he has the Ultimate Vet Hero who is determined not to give up on him till there's hope. At times I feel it's too much love and perhaps we should let him go. Patches was about to be put to sleep a year ago and she saved him. But his immune system is non-existent, he has the size of a six month-old kitten, he's currently on nine different medications, is this really a life? There are so many cats looking for a good home, are we doing the right thing in keeping Patches? We also have a second cat, The Dude who is a massive gentle pet and Patches best friend. In the last few weeks he's been so so protective of him, sleeping with him to keep him warm, grooming him when he came back from the clinic, and now I think he is giving up hope too. This morning Patches is a bit brighter but I'm afraid to say anything as when I wrote the last post, just the day after he slept all day long barely getting up for food. We'll see. Stay tuned for further developments.

Looking forward to meeting you all!

Blog restyle, ICLW system, Attic and mojo

Do you like my new blog look? I do! I think it looks fresh and here Spring is in the air!! Though today is a bit wet, but hey it's Ireland and we had incredible weather for so long! Come to think of it...it may have been our summer...Anyway, I realised I missed my second blogversary (April 9th) so I decided to give it a facelift and to add a thingy on the sidebar which hopefully will remind me next year.

I'm really working hard this time at ICLW. I feel I have not participated for so long I owe to the community to do my best to comment on every blog in the list. So I have a system. I started from the top and the only blogs I have not commented on are those that at the time of me reading them had not posted since the ICLW week started. You have to have a screening method or with 179 blogs on the list you'll never manage. Anyway, with two and half days to go I'm at number 90. And this is on top of my normal commenting which has also taken a turn for the better as I want to make sure I return the love and support to all of you knowing I've not been the best since Oliver arrival. And I don't want to be one of those bloggers that disappears once their miracle arrives.

And no floor went down in the attic. More preparation took place though and more defects have been discovered. So new email to the architect who will recall the builder who will come and fix it...

Finally my mojo is no where to be found. I feel as attractive as a plastic bag... not sure when this started, maybe a few weeks ago, my period is attempting to normalise but not quite there yet. I bleed for a few days, then it stops and then it's back for a couple of days only a day later. I wonder if the hormones are doing the same and upsetting my normal self so much. So it's not fun for Mike. But what can I do? It's not the baby at all, it's just my body that's upsetting my sexuality. Can't seem to shift the weight, my boobs could do with a boob job and overall I'm just flabby. Maybe it's because I've always felt very comfortable with how I looked that now that I'm not, I can't possibly see how Mike may still find me attractive. Still all worth it when I compare it with what I gained in my life, but it would be nice to get a bit of horniness back...

Twitter and Modern Family

Oh boy...isn't Twitter addictive?? Very much so! Funnily enough I have the impression than when celebs tweet (ok....ok... you got me...I only really mean ONE celeb ah!) it's as if they actually talk to me! Somehow it makes them more like "normal" people. I had a very nice conversation with The Ultimate Vet Hero who's now become a very good friend, she is from Cali and definitely much more into showbiz than me and she said how strange it is to imagine that actors are in fact real people, with friends and things to do. Granted their friends are likely to be other celebrities, but sure they must have also non-celeb friends from their pre-celeb life right?

Anyway, I decided to use Twitter also for Ectopic Pregancy Ireland. It has been a great success, all the Irish radio stations I have contacted have retweeted my message and this has generated a nice cascade of retweets! Hopefully we'll be able to reach out even further!

I'm still not very skilled with Twitter, just know the basics, but for now that's all I need!

Thank you for all your suggestions on what to watch while waiting for new episodes of HIMYM. To get another Neil Patrick Harris fix I had a look at Doogie Howser MD. It was never aired in Italy so it was new to me. Well. I watched the first episode (in fact the first few mins) and no no no no, he's way too young there!! Cute maybe, but not my style! Never liked younger guys, may never be a cougar LOL! So I skipped to the last episode of the show....mmhh still not transitioned from cute to hot... and still too young!

I'll just have to wait I suppose! On this topic, my friend Valery pointed me in the direction of another blogger who very recently had posted on her blog about "Secret Celebrity Boyfriend" I truly recommend the post as it's hilarious and made me think I want to do a similar one soon!

In the quest for another sit-com, I had watched a good few episodes of The Big Bang Theory, but it's not so much my cup of tea, so I started watching Modern Family and I love it!! Took a while to get used to the hand-held shooting style which generally I don't like, but now I'm on a binge!

Finally a quick update on the attic. We have cleared the area (put away all the boxes into storage space under the roof) and we are ready to put the floor down. If it wasn't for the fact that we noticed the underfloor is extremely uneven in one position...so meeting with the architect and builder this week...

Torticollis and other updates

Yesterday was the last day of the baby massage course. We did back massages and all the babies were in their tummies. Oliver hates it so even though I try every day to do some tummy time it's a struggle. Every other baby in the class was holding up the head like nobody's business. My little one was flat on the mat chewing his hand. Ok the others are a bit older but there was also the baby who was born just a day earlier also lifting his head (not as high as the others admittedly). Of course I know that we shouldn't compare, Oliver was 3 weeks premature, but this is in addition to the fact that I noticed he tends to keep his head always to one side. He sleeps with the head to right, sits in his rocking chair looking to his right (it doesn't matter much if we are on the other side, he may turn his eyes but not his head) etc. This is surely worsen by the fact that Mike and I are both right-handed so when we change/feed him it always happens that we are to his right. When he's upright he has a great head control, since he was just a few days old, so it's not like he has no strength. Anyway, his head is also getting a bit flat on the side in question and I decided to make an appointment with the paed suspecting torticollis. And sure enough...He said that it's very mild but gave me a couple of exercises to do to lengthen the muscle to the right of his neck. At the 12 weeks appointment we'll see if it's improving. Early intervention is the absolute best even though generally by the time they sit up it will correct itself in most cases. He also weighed Oliver and my little Buddha is just shy of 5 kg (4.96 kg to be exact!) and doing very well with everything else. He's very alert and smiley! His belly-button is still out as there is a small hernia (extremely common if the baby was a but early) but it will go in with time.

In other news, last friday I went into work because one of my students was defending her PhD thesis (she did great!) and so Mike was in charge of the precious bundle...we all did very well I'm proud to say!

My anxiety also seems to be subsiding, aided by the uplifting effect that the good weather inevitably has, and I look forward to my trip to Italy on friday! Oh and I started watching "How I met your mother" which is hilarious and just what the doctor ordered eheh

Finally I'm so happy for fellow bloggers who are now pregnant after a long journey, your fears and nightmares are normal (here's the expert talking!) try and enjoy this part if you can but, even if you don't, don't be too hard on yourself, we've been through hell (a few times may I add), it's only normal to dread possible bad news because for us that's the way it's been most of the time. That is what was normal. Hugs to all of you.

My dream is to have all those currently in my "We can do it!" blog-list moved into the other two categories, I'm confident that one by one (or two by two!) we'll all be at this side of the fence. One way or another.

Nine weeks today!

And nine! Hoping all is well with Elvis of course, and I'm trying to stay positive.

I feel well most of the time, I do have a bit of nausea mostly in the afternoon and evening and my stomach swells after I eat something. Boobs are definitely very big and quite sore, I am also very hungry and I've put on a bit of weight. I do think I have a bit of a bump too but maybe it's my imagination.

Unfortunately another sad news in the blog World hit me on friday. My friend Adele saw no heartbeat at her scan and they think it may be chromosomal again. Please stop by to give her support. It is also so frightening to see how temporary pregnancies can be...

On a different note, the weather in Ireland at the moment is something else! Sunshine and very warm, even the cats can't stay in sun for too long now! This week is going to be an important one, I have my scan on Thursday (please please please... Elvis be bigger and healthy) and my third student is defending her PhD thesis on Friday. All going well, next weekend we'll have plenty to celebrate!

The attic project update and the rest

We have made some more progress in the red tape for the project! The directors have no objection in principles and don't see a problem in us opening windows on the side wall either, they will want to see the plans before singning off on it though. So that's great!
The architect has posted the budget proposal to us this morning so we should soon know what kind of money we are talking about. More news on this coming soon.

Today I'm so very happy for my cyber friend C who has seen a heartbeat today after a lot of spotting and bleeding and she certainly deserve a good happy ending this time.
And then there is Sam who's testing tomorrow and I'm so so hopeful it'll be 3rd time lucky! Come on my friend, it'll have to be your time this time.
On the other hand, another cyber friend from a local board had a BFN and I'm really sorry for her...she also suffered an ectopic, lost both tubes and finally lost an IVF pregnancy at 31 weeks...I cannot even imagine how heartbroken she must be. But she'll go again and I have everyting crossed it'll work out the next time.
I went to the clinic on monday, paid my deposit and booked all the scans for January!! I have to say, the sight of my file would make a stone cry....it must be 5cm thick by now...enough, 2010 better be the year that file closes!

Finally I've been looking a lot into american agencies for the adoption project. Very very few would work with non-US families but I did find one that gave me loads of info. Now, we are still ages away from anything happening, we haven't even heard back on our documents sent out 6 (six!) months ago. And that's just to get a number to get on a waiting list for a preparation course...can you imagine? The waiting list will probably be a couple of years long. You really need to be committed, but the governament here really really should work on this because it's appalling. If any of you in the States knows of any reputable place we could contact so that at least after the course there won't be anoher three years wait to be matched, please let me know.

28

I am not sure how long it was since I had a perfect cycle. 28 days and AF had shown up. Amazing. I was telling you that I feel like my old self and this is an other sign.

On a different note, we had the first hurdle dealt with for the attic conversion! The owner of the apt underneath have no objections whowhhoo! So next is to get the approval of the board of Directors, I'll put a letter together over the weekend.

Finally, I seem to have some problems in leaving messages to blogs in which the comment box is imbedded in the page...am I the only one?

The marvel of a good night sleep

Thank you all so much for the kind messages and encouragement, big virtual hugs to all of you in return!

Yesterday I went home from work early in the afternoon, I was shattered, the emotions, the beta news, the "reading everything possible about beta values" really took their toll! I fell asleep at around 10.30 I'd say and even if I woke up as usual I din't have bad feelings or worries..I've been happily staying in bed with my eyes closed and a tentative smile on my face.
I also stopped the crin.one and went back to the cyclo.gest which made me feel better instantly. The spotting has practically stopped, and again it was never really red, more "old stuff". This morning a little bit of the old crin.one came out and I'm hopeful that it'll be the end of the gunk!
I have not tested again, I'll do it on tuesday before going in for the beta #2 just to see if I'm still pregnant and prepare myself in case I'm not. But for now, only positive thinking.
I've done a lot of reading about beta ad IVF and I came across an old blog which reported some nice info. I'll report here the two most relevant facts and I'll link the research papers which the author quoted also.

IVF pregnancies generally have lower hCG levels than other pregnancies. The theory is that non-IVF pregnancies implant sooner, thereby having more time to generate hCG than a transferred embryo would.

Initial hCG levels are lower in pregnancies achieved through a day 5 embryo transfer than in those resulting from a day 3 transfer. Apparently the extended culture delays even further the implantation or the cell mass of the blastocyst(s) implanting is smaller than in natural/3 days embryo pregnancy. Still day 5 transfer has a higher pregnancy outcome than day 3.

Now so, all this is very promising indeed! But then I went reading Stacey's post when she found out she was pregnant back in March and I think her hCG do compare with mine (147 at 15dp3dt or 18DPO)...and look at her now! 23 weeks along! And she had spotting too! Right, of course I know it can be different for me, but reading positive stories helps keeping the faith!

mother

You know the verification word you have to type when you leave a comment on some people's blog? Most of the time they don't have any meaning, but today, while I was egarly reading avery blog on the ICLW list and leaving nearly as many messages to try and keep sane while looking at the clock moving ever so slowley, this one popped up "mother" I took it as a good sign and typed it in making sure there were no spelling mistake!

So it's almost 7.30 pm local time here, I am breathing again. No call! Oh boy today was tough. I didn't want to post any sooner just in case I jinxed the good "mother" omen. Oue embryos must be doing well enough for them not to call us, of course the embryologist did say that the transition to tomorrow is the critical one, but at least they WILL call tomorrow no matter what! So when the phone will ring at some point somewhere in my office where the reception is better (damn shilded windows!) I won't be panicking straight away.
All your blogs kept me distracted and I decided to join a few more which I felt particularly close to. Clare posted a lovely post today on the different approach between men and women on the 2ww. I really felt so close to that post as Mike today watched a few matches on telly, shouting at the referee and being completely calm/positive about the fact that we were on the line of fire today. I told him once "I'm worried about the phone call..." his answer was "there's no need to worry, they won't call!". A part from the fact that he was right (thank God) he had a very enjoyable Sunday while mine was a miserable one! I envy him for his ability to NOT WORRY about things unless they happen, I think I could do with a bit of that quality too!
Again thank you all for your comments, I swear I would be lost without your support.