21 weeks, the nursery and Carlito

Thank you all so so much for the outpour of love on my last post. Some of you were following me last year when we got the kittens so I truly appreciate every comment. You are amazing.

Oliver today is 21 weeks! Doing very well and I thought I'd post a couple of pics of the tiny nursery where he'll stay till he goes into the big boys room sometime in the future.

The Stokke sleepi bed and the corner of the changing table

A close up of the wall decorations and the wooden mobile

A shot of the other side with Oliver on the changing table and the cloth nappy covers!

It's been a week since Oliver started sleeping in his room and we couldn't be happier. Everyone is getting much more sleep. We bring him into our bed in the morning sometimes for a cuddle and he loves it!

Our room is now back to ourselves and the cats. Patches slept with us his last night (we didn't know it was his last night but it's nice to know he had lots of cuddles) and since then the Dude is spending the nights on our bed. We didn't allow the cats to sleep with us when Oliver was there too, I still wouldn't feel comfortable with them jumping in his crib while he's inside.

Finally, I mentioned we had adopted a new kitten from the vet clinic and he's with us since yesterday. We called him Carlito after much debate but now it fits him perfectly. He's about 5 weeks old but he's so active and playful, yet very well behaved and cuddly we are all very happy. Except the Dude who is still keeping his distance. It went this way. The Dude saw Carlito and went near him to smell him. Carlito hissed and made himself as big as possible (which means about the size of a Dude's paw!), the Dude took it badly and has hissed at him since. But then he runs away, never lifted a paw, so Carlito now knows he's a gentle giant and just want to play with him. The Dude acts like he's afraid of him and went on a hunger strike for 24 hours (back to eating this evening even though in a different room to minimise the stress). He's now quite happily in the same room (the kitchen) as Carlito but never gets too close. Carlito on the other hand is trying his best to get as close to the Dude as possible! Hopefully they'll be friends soon, I know the Dude has space in his heart for another friend. Once the loss of Patches is accepted.

Carlito 27th of May 2011, about 5 weeks old

Goodbye Patches

There was nothing else we could do to try and help him. Today when the Ultimate Vet Hero came over to see him, she agreed he had not made much progress and that we were out of ideas. I think Mike and I knew this was going to be the outcome but we needed Ultimate Vet Hero to feel the same. She was devastated and I know she treated him like one of her own pets. I don't know who was more upset if me or her. But it was the right thing to do. So she took him away and then texted me when it was all over to say it was very quick and peaceful. Knowing it was the right thing to do doesn't make it less sad though.

We will get another kitten, a healthy one hopefully this time. The Dude needs a friend. The Vet clinic currently has 10 kittens looking for a home, so this evening we went to see them. We should have one with us by the end of the week. The Dude knew Patches was very unwell, after looking after him constantly for several days, he had distanced himself in the last three days. This is one of the latest picture of the two of them together taken last week.

Goodbye little friend, you brought the Ultimate Vet Hero in our lives and that was a great gift from such a sweet pet. You'll live forever in our hearts.

Patches 22nd of February 2010 - 23rd of May 2011

First night on his own

It went down without a hitch! Oliver slept soundly through the night and briefly woke up around 6.30 am because he got stuck sideways in the cot! Once repositioned and soothed up he slept for another hour and half! The major difference from our room is that we added a black-out blind to his window so it's darker for longer and definitely helps him not waking up!

In other news I stepped on the dreaded scale this morning. I have to say I tried on and squeezed back into my skinny jeans the other night, much to my surprise, and started thinking the scale was a lying bitch as according to it I still had 7-8kg to go the last time. So this morning up I went on the evil thing and still it says I'm 62kg. That is 10kg less than I was at the end of the pregnancy and still 5kg to go. There's no way I'd fit back into those if I was 5kg heavier than the pre-drugs IF madness. I think I wasn't even 10 weeks along and I couldn't wear them any more. So that's it, either the thing is lying or the weight has redistributed itself in other places. Which has to be my upper body. But 5kg?? Mystery. They may be still most on my belly (the jeans are a low-waist model) but I'm working on it. You know, I'm going back to Italy in 4 weeks time and me, Oliver, mum and sister are going to the sea-side. Arrrhhhggghh I'll have to buy a bikini or something (it must be 10 years I've not gone to the sea side for holidays) and I'm dreading it! I imagine myself wearing a wrap or a T-shirt all the time...sad I know. Four weeks to tone up. Not sure I can do it. Also, I've always had horrible capillaries and visible veins in my legs which got worse with the pregnancy. So as part of the body-renovation I've started getting them "erased". Problem is, I do that in Italy and you can't sunbathe afterwards, so I can't get any more done till sea time. I won't be a pleasant sight on the beach I'm afraid. Let's hope Oliver will be the centre of attention then!

And thanks so much for the messages about Patches. No major progress I'm afraid, maybe the eye is better but he's breathing is still very congested. Ultimate Vet Hero will come to see him tomorrow.

Loving ICLW week! I've actually got to read blogs I've never read before which is just fantastic! Stick around folks, Attic updates and pics of the nursery are coming soon!

ICLW Mixed Flavours

Welcome old and new cyber-friends. We are in the phase of life where we are finally parenting after a very long journey of infertility, ectopic pregnancies, hopes ans shattered hopes, ICSIs, FETs and eventually pregnancy. The details are on the left sidebar. I hope to come and visit your blog soon and make new friends, this is such an amazing community.

So I went back to the ICLW blog list to see which three topics I had put down and of course now several other things are happening so I'm afraid I won't stick to those themes so much, but that's life isn't it? you plan to do something and then a D-tour must be taken...

First things first. Today my little chicken is 20 weeks old! And tonight he'll be evicted from our room and moved into the nursery. Since last week we transformed his crib into the mini bed

And he had no problem adjusting, in fact I think he feels better now that he has more room to stretch. We had to buy black-out blinds for the nursery window and today's project is to put them up, rearrange the things in the nursery (it's our tiny box-room, he'll move again into the second bedroom once we have the attic fully finished and ready for guests) and hope for the best!

On Thursday night I met a cyber-friend who came to Ireland on holidays (no, not Queen Elizabeth, I don't think she blogs LOL!). Christa and her husband would make such great parents, their FET is just around the corner, let's hope they'll bring home some Irish luck!

And I have to say to you all, in the last few weeks there have been so many BFPs among my cyber friends it's as if all the stars have aligned in a fantastic (and rare) conjunction with the planets and miracles are happening. Some are on my local board (3!!) and several others are in blogland. I am confident one by one all the girls in my top right hand-side list will be moved further down! So if you are cycling now or soon, the stars are on your side!!

Finally my little pet Patches is going through a rough time. He's just over one year old and let me tell ya he has a medical history of a geriatric cat. On his side he has the Ultimate Vet Hero who is determined not to give up on him till there's hope. At times I feel it's too much love and perhaps we should let him go. Patches was about to be put to sleep a year ago and she saved him. But his immune system is non-existent, he has the size of a six month-old kitten, he's currently on nine different medications, is this really a life? There are so many cats looking for a good home, are we doing the right thing in keeping Patches? We also have a second cat, The Dude who is a massive gentle pet and Patches best friend. In the last few weeks he's been so so protective of him, sleeping with him to keep him warm, grooming him when he came back from the clinic, and now I think he is giving up hope too. This morning Patches is a bit brighter but I'm afraid to say anything as when I wrote the last post, just the day after he slept all day long barely getting up for food. We'll see. Stay tuned for further developments.

Looking forward to meeting you all!

Patches update

Would you believe it, Patches seems to be getting better once again. The Ultimate Vet Hero has been pulling all the stops to avoid the "blue juice" as she calls it.

She's done researches, contacted specialist vets, listen to webinars and I'm sure she said a few prayers too. So with a cocktail of 9 (yes nine!) different meds a few times a day (some of those have to be given twice, three times or five!) the eye is improving and so it's his breathing. His voice is also back. No more bloody sneezes and he seems to be in better form. As his immune system is so weak (we wonder if it works at all in fact) any virus causes havoc...ulcers appearing and getting colonised by weird bacteria which take forever to clear. Anyway, lab results are back so now we have the right antibiotic which should clear the infection. She also gave him something to reduce the mucous production to minimise bronchial distress and hopefully limit bacterial growth. The eye ulcer is not infected and so it's viral. The systemic antiviral which he was on is useless for him but a topic one seems to be doing the trick. Steroids are a big no no when viral infections are ongoing but he needs something to help him cope with the stress of the situation, so again she found a suitable substitute which we are trying out now. Finally, the latest addition to the cocktail is interferon. In same cases it has be shown to eradicate one of the viruses affecting Patches. Let's hope. We are also considering food allergies but like the Ultimate Vet Hero said, it's important that he eat something and special food is not that palatable.

Thank you all for your good wishes and kind thoughts, Patches appreciates it!

I'll update again on how he's doing, but for now we are very happy!

Memories and Patches

It's that time of the year where all the days have something to do with Oliver. I just read the news that a cyber friend got her BFP and she posted the pic of her FRER dated 16/5. It got my attention also because her line seems to be unevenly intense. Like it was for me. Exactly a year ago, when I got the first glimpse of the little embryo that could.

Kind of around the same time last year Patches wasn't doing too well. I suppose last year was maybe a couple of weeks earlier than now but still. We are in a rough time again with the poor little pet. It started with a teary eye. Then it worsened with sneezing blood. Antiviral, antibiotic, and anti-inflammatory meds are on his daily menu since I can remember. Together with thyroxine. He's been well for a good few months but after he got his vaccine in March (carefully considered with the Ultimate Vet Hero and decided it was best to do it) he went downhill. The Ultimate Vet Hero has made plenty of house calls, to minimise as much as possible the stress of him going to the clinic. He has an ulcer on his eye which has now spread to the lower eyelid. Probably it's the herpes virus. He's too small to have a rhinoscopy but we suspect the virus has started eroding his turbinates which may have now been colonised by some resistant bacteria. I brought him into the clinic on friday morning as he was really poor and something had to be done. The Ultimate Vet Hero took great care of him, sedated him and took X-rays which excluded tumours in the nose, and flushed his nose with saline to be able to send a sample to the lab for cultures. She used a tear-duct catheter up his nose to be as less invasive as possible. Still, his throat was so swollen he couldn't breathe on his own. But he came through. Then over the weekend I really thought is was worse and got Mike to call The Ultimate Vet Hero. We just can't keep him suffering. She came to see us on Sunday and brought some more meds, different antibiotics and local antiviral for the eye. We gave him a week to get better or as sad as it is, we feel we have to put him to sleep. The Ultimate Vet Hero is having a truly rough time at work and I really hope not to add to her plate. When/if that day will come, I know we'll both be devastated, but she gave Patches a very good year that he certainly would not have had otherwise. I'll keep you posted.

Patches today on our bed resting

19 weeks, Patches and Work

Oh my, it's been a full week without posting! Thankfully I had not signed up for ICLW or I would have definitely struggled with commenting.

First news first. 19 weeks! Little Elvis is a mango! I am quite sure I can feel more movements, they would not be too frequent, but certainly after having eaten something if I put my feet up I feel little pokes! No butterflies for me, or at least I would not describe them as such, sometimes more like vibrations but the only time I'm certain is when I can feel a distinct poke!

All well, sleeping is getting better, I still get up for a pee so I don't think that will go away, but I don't mind. Weight gain this week is stable! Delighted with myself! I definitely feel the extra weight, specially if I sit on the floor playing with the cats and have to get up...I kind of have to turn on my knees first...

The belly is now quite defined even when I wake up in the morning and I'm flat on my back. Nice!

Since this week I will have to change my weekly picture outfit as my sister pointed out I was at the limits of decency! So stay tuned for the next round of belly pics!

Oh, I meant to say that Mike and I will not look to find out if Elvis is in fact a boy (I think so though!) or if we've been calling a girl Elvis all the time...If it happens that we see something from the scan it's no problem but we won't ask the tech to tell us. We think we'd like the surprise!

I also wanted to update on Patches. Remember his blood-work showed hypothyroidism? Well, we started giving him the meds and he was reborn to a new lively, playful and hungry kitten! We were so delighted. Then, the Ultimate Vet Hero told us that a colleague of hers, working in the Vet hospital at our College, specialised in endocrinology and was really interested in seeing Patches. So we brought him there on Tuesday and after a long visit she said she doesn't think he suffers from congenital hypothyroidism. Yes, he is very small, but lacks many of the traits typical of this condition. While visiting him, she saw that he had a big ulcer on the roof of his mouth and said that was typical of another viral condition. She advised to stop the thyroid meds, stop the steroids (she think they may have masked the thyroid real functionality) and put him back on the antiviral. Then re-test him in a month. Reluctantly we did, knowing well that Patches wouldn't be doing well with no steroids for more than two days. But he did very well for 5 days! Our Ultimate Vet Hero is very happy that if we have to give him 0.5mg of prednisolone every 5 days is really no big deal and won't affect the next blood test.

Finally work. Term starts in two weeks, I have to write a proposal for a grant (deadline 7th of September) and I am as motivated as a dead slug... I've done all the less important bits like my CV, the budget, the titles and abstracts (yes two...a scientific one and a lay one) and can't bring myself to write the damn thing! Hopefully I'll be inspired soon....and it better be very soon! I also have to prepare a poster for the conference I'm going to on the 12th of September. Again, I've played with the background, the font, the title...oh boy can I be less interested in doing it?

Ah well.

Patches results and more on the Project

We just got a call from the Ultimate Vet Hero and Patches suffers of SEVERE hypothyroidism!! We understood that normal values would be between 10 and 40, where 10 is already quite borderline of course and little Patches has 3!!! the Vet was so happy she found what was wrong and so are we. We really hope that the cure will kick in soon, the dose we had him on since last week is way too low, poor kitten! No wonder he's always cold and sleepy! Now he has this other symptom which he developed in the last week or so; when he eats, any time he swallows, he gags too. Nothing comes out, it's as if he's something stuck in his throat, but that would also be very strange. Another mystery illness I think. The Dude on the other hand is doing really well, getting more and more similar to a dog in his behaviour, so cute! Thanks for all your good wishes and for remembering the Dude too!

I wanted to update also on the Ectopic Pregnancy Ireland Project. After a series of emails which escalated to quite strong tones, it calmed down and we agreed to disagree. We also blamed a bit of the misunderstanding on emails which are subjected to interpretation of course, so I'm still on board and very happy to contribute to it. We'll try to have more frequent meetings where things can be said face to face and clarified immediately rather than creating anxiety for all of us involved. I'll have a dedicated page on the project once we have a few more items together.

Thanks as always for your support!

Seventeen and counting!

Elvis today becomes an onion! Yes, the ticker was giving this from yesterday, just can figure out how to tune it, ah well.

So I gained another kilo this week, that makes it +7.5! Ahh what can I do, the OB may say something to me about it on wednesday...

Again I feel well, with a bit of stretching and exercise and the magic pillow between the legs, my back ache is minimal! I have new interesting things appearing every now and again though, such as a blocked right ear and stuffy nose, plus a touch of heart-burn occasionally. And feeling blessed for all of it. I also had to buy new bras. I had bought a good few when I realised my standard bras didn't fit me anymore, spending a small fortune may I add, without realising that that was only the first step up! You fooled me once....

Now I am more convinced that sometimes the belly-bubbles are not in fact bubbles but Elvis! Still very very minimal though, we can hear more movements with the doppler.

No news yet on Patches blood results, hopefully monday, but he is well so hopefully the treatment is the right one.

And there has been some drama in the last couple of days between me and the girls on the Ectopic Pregnancy Ireland project. I basically disagree with most of the decisions made which in my eyes are just causing a major delay in getting the website up and running, an online forum working, and leaflets out to the public. I'm thinking of stepping down, I'm sure I can give my time to other charities where I feel more in line with the way of thinking. Real pity to be honest, but sure you cannot get on with everyone I suppose.

Patches saga and Attic update

It's a while I hadn't posted about Patches. The little cat is still very small, in fact we think he'll be an eternal kitten! But since he's on the new meds (antiviral and small dose of steroids) he's been doing very well. Until last week. It became obvious to us that the poor thing was trying to use the toilet, straining a lot and nothing would come out. He peed normally so at least we know it wasn't a UTI but more a constipation issue. We contacted the Ultimate Vet Hero and she said to bring him in as he was probably in discomfort. She adores Patches and is so so good with him. The verdict was that yes he was VERY constipated and needed an enema. When I went picking him up in the afternoon the little cat was exhausted but empty! Within a couple of days he was back to his old self but then on Monday night he refused his food and his belly seemed tender to the touch. After a few texts with the Ultimate Vet Hero (she's that good) she said that she searched on her Vet website for more info and thought that another possibility is that Patches may suffer of congenital hypothyroidism! All symptoms fit: halted growth, slow appearing teeth (he only has 6!) lethargy (he sleeps most of the time hence "LazyPatches!") and little appetite. Anyway, after a good night sleep he seemed better and used the toilet (I gave him lactulose) but we still went in for a blood test to check the latest theory. We should have the results by the end of the week and we are so so hopeful that this may be the problem! He definitely had also this herpes virus because since he's on the antiviral his breathing has been great all the time. If the blood work comes back positive for hypothyroidism we will be able to eliminate the steroids and give him the proper meds! Hang in there Patches, lots of people are looking into your case!

And yesterday we had the structural engineer coming over to take measurements and tell us how much steel we need to support the floor of the new room in the attic (we need to reinforce the current structure both for the floor and the roof). The Architect was also there and they worked very well. The plan is now for the engineer to do up his drawings, give them to the architect so that he can finalise the document which will be used for tendering the work! We are very excited! He's confident that overall it shouldn't take more than 4-6 weeks, to us seems a bit quick, but hopefully he's right! We have also found a place to move out to when the works will be ongoing, probably there is no need to move out but I'm sure we won't regret it! The place is in the same estate, it's a one-bed apt on the top floor of a block with a fantastic view of Dublin as well as the mountains! We love it!

And finally I have contacted a yoga teacher specialised in pre-natal yoga! I'll start in September!! Wohoohoo!

Elvis's heart beats

I was extremely nervous this morning...

To try and calm myself down I kept repeating in my head "There is a strong heartbeat at 163bpm" not sure where I picked the number but it sounded good.

We went to the clinic and the Top Doctor did the scan himself. First he reviewed my history and said he was very pleased with this result and that now it was a matter of viability.

Wand went in and I could see immediately things were much more advanced than the last time. I said "Something has grown in there..." And then he said the most beautiful words "And there's the heartbeat". I felt a tear coming down my cheek but I tried to stay focused. He measured the heartbeat at 154bpm which he said was excellent (anything above 120bpm he would have been happy with), the gestational sac measures a little small (I have to drink more water!) but he said that was not accurate and it didn't really matter. The yolk-sac measured perfect at 5mm (apparently it should never be bigger than 6mm) and finally little Elvis measured 7w1d which according to my doc it's the exact gestational age I'm at. I thought I was 7w4d today but I remember my friend Wishi had her doc saying the same thing to her! And in any case +/- 3 days is within experimental error. So we are on the proverbial cloud nine... Mike also had red eyes after the scan, so so sweet. Without further ado, meet our little Elvis!

Then the doc went on about finding an OB and gave us some suggestions, I haven't really thought about it at all, it'll be my next step.

On a final note, it seems that anything related to this pregnancy has a cat story associated with it, so to keep the tradition on, we had to bring Patches to the Ultimate Vet Hero. We had stopped all the meds on sunday and sure enough, he had watery eyes and wasn't eating by wednesday evening. I gave him a quarter of my prednisolone pills last night and within two hours he was back the usual Patches, playing and eating! So the plan now is to keep him on low dose steroids for much longer and see how he gets on. A part from that, he's going to get neutered next week! It'll remain a micro-cat apparently!

The Dude update and 4dp6dt

Yesterday we brought the Dude to the Vet for a check up. We thought he was recovering very well and that the abscess was reducing in size, but the Vet said it really needed to be lanced and cleaned properly because the location is an unfortunate one, on the back just above his bum and will find it difficult to completely go away. So we came back with no Dude (we are picking him up this evening) to a very happy Patches being back to be the king of the house! While he never came downstairs in the last few days when the Dude was in the kitchen, he was definitely taking possession of every room last night! And he's doing very very well, his meow is normal (not like a chicken sound anymore) and so is his purring (it always sounded like a pigeon! and nicknamed him Pigeon!). He's playing a lot and eating very well, some new food arrived yesterday (I had placed an order to try out different brands in the hope to find something he ate with pleasure) and although he's not as enthusiastic as he is for the delux food he certainly had a good bit of it too! All going well we'll reunite the two of them this weekend! I feel so good about them, I'm sure there will be no real problem, Patches is so much stronger he should be able for a very playful Dude!

Another day in my 2ww has gone by. I realised all of a sudden yesterday that the day I am supposed to test was actually the due date of my first ectopic pregnancy! How weird. I hardly think about due dates, I don't think it's healthy for me to do so and struggle to see the point in keeping the pain alive longer than it needs to be, so the realization that I actually knew it was a due date came to me as a bit of a shock. Funny how it took a few days before it came to mind. I want to try and be positive that it'll be a good day, strangely I am so distracted that I think I will handle quite well a BFN if that's what is going to be. The fact that I'm going on holiday the day after (to Italy, we have a wedding on the 22nd and then we are off to an island off the coast of Tuscany for a week!) never really worked out well with cycles, I was always thinking "oh, I'll bring the baby skiing while still in the belly" or "I'll relax by the swimming pool eating great-pregnancy-safe food" and sure enough it never happened. So who knows this time, I may be surprised! If not I'll enjoy the holidays to the fullest, can you imagine being in Tuscany and NOT drinking wine, cured ham and fresh cheese? Of course I'd give up even water if it means I get pregnant, but it's a comforting thought nonetheless!

Symptoms-wise the insomnia has set in. This is the absolutely worse part of the 2ww. I wake up between 4 and 4.30. I just have to go to the loo, by the time I'm back to bed I'm fully awake. Then Patches starts purring. This morning I decided I may as well make good use of this time and started listening to my super-duper MP3 player. I may have mentioned in that past that I have a CD for pre-transfer, post-transfer and 2ww relaxation tracks from Zita West, so there I was, imagining my baby growing inside me. Not sure I believe it really helps, but it's certainly no harm!

Good News in Petland and 3dp6dt

All is good in the pet compartment, the Dude's abscess is definitely improving, his appetite is incredible and we think he's recovering well. He's still in the isolation ward like Mike called it (he's in the kitchen!) but he's been allowed to the living room when Patches is upstairs. I actually think Patches loves having everything upstairs, for one thing he has a better view out the window!

Also we finally have found the food that Patches eats with pleasure! Again this is thank you to the Ultimate Vet Hero. So I've now placed an order for a mega supply of that brand which is fully natural with no additives so we may have to supplement some vitamins. But it's such a pleasure seeing him running to the food the minute it's put down.

We'll bring the Dude to the Vet this evening for a follow up after the emergency vet, he'll probably get a de-worming tablet also.

We are actually managing quite well the situation, so we have abandoned the idea of finding a foster home for the Dude. I think it was a bit of a shock when we had him back in the house, but we are now totally in love with him again and we are confident we are all going to be ok. We'll keep Patches and the Dude apart at least until the Dude has finished his course of antibiotics (only a few more days) and we may continue to have separate litter trays, we'll see if that works or not. The Dude also eats so much and so fast that we will try and feed them separately.

We will board the Dude in the place we had booked and we'll have Patches in a house environment as decided, we still think it'll be better this way. So all is going well, for now at least!

And today is 3 days after my transfer, I rested a lot yesterday and of course I have all the progesterone induced symptoms, but I've been there too many times to be fooled, I'm allowing myself to be positive, without giving into the madness and so far, with the help of the cats it's working well! I forgot to mention that the official test day is the 19th of May, the day before we are off on holiday, I don't want to test early, it never brought me any good news, we'll see how long I last!

What a day...

Ah girls, you are fantastic. So yesterday was completely the opposite of what you would hope you'll do on the day of a transfer. Feet up and rest, right? Well not quite.

First we had to deal with Patches who took very badly the fact that the Dude was back in the house. I actually think he spiked a temperature. We kept them separated all the time because the Dude was sneezing a lot with very watery eyes. The poor thing had this massive swelling on his lower back we had to go to the emergency vet. It turned out he had high temperature also and a big abscess probably due to a bite. The vet syringed out almost 10mL of pus, gave him antibiotics and we were sent back home. By the time we went to bed it was almost 1am...on the day of my transfer!! Not good... The Dude has eaten almost a week worth of food in a few hours, he's so skinny and dehydrated he must have had a very tough time outdoor. We bought a second litter tray, we just cannot risk Patches getting sick again with another virus. We called the Ultimate Vet Hero to let her know we found the Dude (this before I realised he had been bitten) she was delighted and this morning she phoned to see how things had gone. We told her we were concerned for Patches, he's been through so much, what if he relapsed? And what can we do with the poor Dude who's now craving for affection like it's going out of fashion? Remember the Dude was the one very very shy and almost never wanted you to pet him. We agreed that the best thing would be to find at least a temporary foster home until the Dude has got over his flu and the abscess completely cleared. We don't know how likely to find someone is going to be, but Mike has now gone to the DSPCA to see if they can help (they didn't help at all when we called last night). I'm trying to take it easy today, I don't really want to run around too much and I'm giving Patches as much affection as possible to reassure him. He's eaten well this morning and he's sleeping on my lap now. Having the Dude back home gave us mixed feelings to be honest. We are worried for Patches and we feel really sorry for the Dude. This morning we tested the Dude reaction in front of an open window....he didn't go near it!! Good sign. Hopefully we'll find the best solution soon.

And by the way, can I patent this process as the best thing to keep your mind off the 2ww madness? It's working like a treat!

PUPO and Patches! **Update we found the Dude!!**

We have a blast on board! Yes my friends, our super-blast (remember it was a day-6 embryo) survived the thaw very very well, the embryologist said they would consider a good thawed blast if it had up to 50% fragmentation due to the process, our had less than 5% so she was delighted. By the time we transferred at 4.25pm it had fully re-expanded! Could this be our little hero? I'll do everything in my power to wish him/her well in this journey including staying as positive as possible. Incredibly, I managed to be very calm and zen all this cycle, very little stress including this morning when they called saying they were good to go with the thawing and if I didn't hear anything by 1pm to consider that all was well and to show up for the transfer. Normally I freak out no end, heart pounding, an eye constantly on the phone to see if the screen brightens up, imagining in my head the dreaded call. Not this time. Suddenly it was 1pm and I thought "Oh, all is well then!" and once again patted myself on the back.

Transfer was easy and painless as usual, I'm lucky that way. The doctor that did the transfer was the same one that got me pregnant in August. And we had a different song playing this time (it had always been Enya...very Irish!) Mike just informed me that it was Norah Johnes singing "Don't know why"... if it works I'll send her a thank you card! And I told the nurse NOT to give me a pregnancy test! So she didn't. Ahhh, sigh of relief!

So resting now for the weekend, feet up and warm socks!

This morning I also brought Patches to the Ultimate Vet Hero for a check up. She said he looked great! On her scale he gained 200g since she had him in two weeks ago which was music to my ears. He had no temperature and she reassured me on the amount that he should be eating per day, not half as much I thought he should be on!! She also gave me some food to try out and overall we had a great conversation. I asked what she thought would be best for Patches when we are gone on holidays and definitely having someone looking after him in a house environment is the best thing. So we are all set! Agreements in place, peace of mind as we know she'll be ready to take him in should he worsen and the knowledge that two more weeks will make him even stronger. I brought her a small cyclamen from Patches and a trio of local jams from Mike and I...she loved them and even hugged me!

So it has been a very good day all around!

***Update *** Oh my God, this 7th of May has been something else. We found the Dude!!! I got a call this evening from one of the neighbours where we left the leaflets as she thought she had seen our cat in her garden! We got there immediately, it wasn't there anymore but she was 90% certain it was him. So we went around a bit a rang a few houses, then decided to go home, print more leaflets and give them out. As we where walking back a girl came running after us saying she saw the kitten under a bush! So we run there and we had some dry food with us, we spotted him and eventually he came out to the food, he was starving, he's so thin but seems well enough. We brought him home, cleaned him a bit and I noted he has a big lump in his back as if he has an infection. He's very unsettled and Patches has withdrawn completely into his den. We fed him and we are going to the vet now just to make sure he's ok. I'm also concerned that he'll run away again of course but we'll be careful. At least he's well!! We are so so happy! I actually had dreamt we had found him last night and told Mike this morning who said "I don't think we'll find him again..." and here he is!!

Lining is Good!

My lining grew in the last few days up to 9mm!! The Favourite Doctor was very very pleased, even the lower wall is now fluffy!! She could see where the scarring had been removed also and she was very optimistic for us. The Viagra worked its (many) miracles! So transfer is confirmed for Friday at 4pm. I'm very happy but trying not to give in to the anxiety of the embryo thawing. Glad my dream was wrong!

I mentioned to the Fav Doc that we are looking into adoption also and she was a bit taken aback, her opinion is that our embryos are excellent, just didn't have the right place to nest and that worse case scenario we should look into surrogacy... Interesting she mentioned it, after a brief period in which I considered it too I kind of left the idea to one side. She said it's not possible in Ireland but that they could help us coordinate it in a foreign Country. Good to know I suppose!

I have to keep up the Viagra until the day of transfer and then stop it. I am to stop right now the Trental (another vasodilator) because I told her I feel quite dizzy on it, and we have the lining now anyway so it has done its job. I'm keeping up everything else including the extra vitamins which basically, it's the only thing I don't mind taking in a frozen cycle!

This morning I weighed Patches because I still think he's eating very little and using the litter tray also very little. He hasn't grown at all! Still only 1.8 kg (not even 4 lb). He has not lost either which is a relief, but I'm not sure this can be it's final weight. He's a microscopic cat for being 6 months old. He is alert and playful, breathes normally, just doesn't eat much and I realise I'm becoming obsessed with this. Anyway, Mike called the Ultimate Vet Hero to have an opinion (and to stop me from stressing him out!). She is not concerned once he's well, it could be the meds he's on (the antibiotic mostly, rather than the steroids which should make him eating/drinking more). Right so, I'll try not to worry and we'll bring him in as scheduled on Friday for his check-up.

Last bit of news is that yesterday I bought a new MP3 player! Remember all the problems I had with the New Toy ? Well, a part from extending the warranty on it until 2012, I also got a voucher for 100 € to spend on something I liked. I'm not much of a music person (I couldn't sing to save my life and I don't know songs/singers/styles etc...) but sure I had a very old Ipod mini which was obsolete so I decided to try out something different! Going to set it up now!

Planning Permission Approved!

We got the news today from our architect (who's back from his honeymoon) that the County Council had approved our planning to convert the attic!! Woohoo!!

This is brilliant news and our architect will be in touch in the next couple of days to see what our next step is! So exciting!! It may be likely that we will be able to do the work over the summer so that means we have probably to find a place to stay while the job gets done.

So this is one good news, we'll see tomorrow what will happen at the scan. I have started my progesterone support (PIO and pessaries) on Sunday as if everything is right on track for Friday. Again, I'm really relaxed about it all. It'll go whichever way it has to.

And today i spoke with the girl who would be happy to look after Patches when we are away. Just let me tell you that she is perfect for the job. Both herself and the boyfriend had cats before and they totally love them. She said she was happy that Patches was an indoor cat as she would have been very nervous at letting him out (music to my ears!) and that their cats were always in the bed with them so Patches' paradise really! Also she lives very near us and the Ultimate Vet Hero which is of comfort. About having her minding Patches in our place I think it wouldn't work out too well because we'll be away for over two weeks, so a bit too long. We'll talk to the Vet on Friday for her opinion. So far Patches is dong well on the lower dose of meds, so fingers crossed!

Dreams

I had a dream the other night that my cycle was going to be cancelled on Wednesday because the lining had become too thick! The Fav Doctor in the dream was saying it was now 34mm! Right, that's not likely to happen but maybe I feel this cycle is busted anyhow. We'll know soon enough.

For now I'm enjoying the side effects of Viagra...oh man...How did I live before?? I'm not sure if it is because I'm on 4 tablets a day (what's a dose for a man anyway?) but the mojo is flying high!

Hem hem...moving on...

Patches seems to be still well, we have lowered the anti-inflammatory drugs, he's eating regularly but not much, it may even be that he's not a big eater. He's not losing or gaining weight for the moment so I'm not sure this is really normal. We'll go back to the Ultimate Vet Hero on Friday for a check up. It is also time to get him neutered, but again I'm not sure we can do it just yet. We are off on holidays in two and half weeks and I'm getting a bit worried about leaving him. We have found a lovely cattery but just two days ago one of my students' friend said she'd love to look after Patches when we are gone. Now... that's lovely of course, but Patches has special needs...I don't want her to feel guilty if he does get sick (the Vet thinks it's stress related so it's likely he'll go down hill a bit when we are gone) on the other hand, undivided attention may be better than solitude...again we'll ask the Vet on Friday.

Still no sign of the Dude, thanks to all of you for the kind advice, nothing seems to be bringing him home (and no advice is silly at all!!). We went up to the shelter and spoke with the girl who followed our kittens-adoption process. She said that maybe Patches is actually better off on his own given that he seemed to be sicker when the Dude was around...I don't know...we'll wait for while anyway.

It's holiday here today, so we are relaxing and enjoying the good weather (and sheets...)

BWUB, I'll post a pic of Zoolander soon!

Additional weapons

My scan this morning didn't go too well, basically not much progress at all, I think after several attempts the best reading they could get was 6.5mm. Amazingly, the upper wall is really great, healthy looking and homogeneous, the lower one (the one from which the scarring was removed) isn't really doing anything. Basically all the thickness is in the upper wall. Anyway, The Favourite Doc doesn't want to give up just yet, I'm booked in for the transfer for next Friday but I have to have another scan on Wednesday.

To try and progress this lining a bit further I have to up the oestrogen to 6 tablets a day (5 orally and 1 vaginally), add a new drug called Trental which appear to be another thing to improve blood circulation, take Vit E for good luck and finally....the very thing we have all been waiting for...Viagra!! Yes ladies, I am on it. Actually I went back home after the scan to take the first tablet. It's taken vaginally 4 times a day, so far I can say that I feel a bit warmer down below, but no much else.

I'm incredibly ok with the way this cycle is going, and I'm sure you agree that it's far from being exciting or very promising, it could be cancelled on wednesday but ah well...there's nothing I can do about it is there? I'm patting myself on the back for the Zen attitude I manage to master!

I also wanted to update you on Patches. The Ultimate Vet Hero is texting us to see how the patient is doing (can you imagine? She is something else...) and the answer is that he's doing very well. He eats quite a bit more than he used too, and he's becoming more energetic day after day. His breathing is sooooooooooo much better, you can never hear him when he's awake, he's snores a tiny bit when asleep but man, you can't believe the improvement. So as of tomorrow we are starting reducing the anti-inflammatory, I think we continue the antibiotics and we keep everything crossed he won't relapse.

Last piece of news is that Mike's car has arrived in record time!! Just ten days after it was ordered! It appears to have been our destiny car. We also name the cars, so after some thinking this one is called Zoolander (it has a bit of Blue Steel look!). We are very happy and we'll go to visit the in-laws on Sunday for the big outing (they have no idea we got the car!)

On track

Can you imagine? I'm actually going to blog again about my FET this time instead of kittens... (Patches is doing well, fingers crossed now! He's purring at all of you thanking for the comments and support in the last few days...for real!)

I had a new doctor this morning scanning me at the clinic, he's American and I hand't the time to check out his cv yet, but seemed very nice. My lining didn't look too good to me and my expert eyes. It was just above 6mm and the upper wall looked much thicker than the lower one. I couldn't actually see the triple pattern that I always had. But the doctor said it was absolutely fine and not to worry about it. Anyway, still no Viagra but upping the oestrogen to 4 pills from 3. After the scan, the nurse told me about the meds and I made it clear to her that I felt uneasy about increasing the oestrogen, that I wasn't sure about the lining and all I've been through made me probably a "difficult" patient...I didn't mean to be difficult though. She was very understanding and got my Favourite Doctor to come and talk to me. I was concerned that after the hysteroscopy the lower wall had not recovered. She looked at the pics from the hysteroscopy and was truly amazed at the amount of tissue that had to be removed. She was very confident my lining was of better quality and not to worry about the different thickness of the layers, it'll even out. She's going to make sure she'll do my scan on friday. She actually checked my day 6 scan from the last FET and I had a lining of 5.6, so I'm actually doing a bit better!

And then off I went to the appointment with Dr. B. He visited me and also scanned me (wohoo two scans in a day!) he was absolutely pleased with the way things looked, very optimistic that the scarring will not reform, the histological report was completely normal and he feels it was just a fluke (I still think it was caused by the D&C in 2007). He actually said he "had a good feeling about me" and to let him know in any case. Awwhh, really lovely doctor, I wonder if he follows pregnancies...you never know, I may actually be properly pregnant one day!

I rushed back to the office to set up the viva and then off to the graduation ceremony. My student did very well in his exam and we had a happy day. I'm now going home, I feel I've done very little today but I've been certainly running around a lot!