-16

Righty-oh it's September which means my big 40 is around the corner, in fact it's 16 days away! I am very happy with my age, I kind of think I'm celebrating 20 years old for the second time and I look with almost disbelief at all that happened in the last 20 years, certainly much more than in the first set of 20 years it seems. I will start building up that post specifically for my birthday on the seventeenth, it will be nice to read it in the future!

I also got myself a personal trainer (first appointment tomorrow at 9 am), there is no sign of shifting the weight I put on with the hormones and pregnancies and I want to feel fitter. While I don't feel my age, my body is clearly giving me signals that despite my denial I am indeed ageing and I better take care of my muscles and bones or I will start having all sorts of aches.

I went to the chiropractor on saturday for my adjustment and I realised I have been about 6 weeks without a headache. I honestly cannot remember when what the last time I ad such a stretch. In line with my getting back into shape I have started the 8 day detox I do every 6 months or so and I bought myself a mini-fridge for the office to store fresh yoghurt and juices so that I can healthily snack if I'm hungry during the day (rather than popping out to the vending machine and get myself a chocolate of some kind). And it will be stairs only and no lift from now on too. Let's see how long it'll last!

As for Oliver, we are trying different strategies to keep him in check, time out works but not always, positive education seems easier said than done at the moment, so it's a bit of trial and error like we don't know this child at all...Thankfully Martina is very easy at the moment, despite teething and a good bit of clingyness, so hopefully it'll last a bit more. Oliver started pre-school today, it's still done in the same place but he has moved up a class and for the next 10 months he will have 3 hours a day of true Montessori "teaching". I can't believe he will be going to school next year....And this will be hopefully after 3 months in California...wow, a lot to do!

First night on his own

It went down without a hitch! Oliver slept soundly through the night and briefly woke up around 6.30 am because he got stuck sideways in the cot! Once repositioned and soothed up he slept for another hour and half! The major difference from our room is that we added a black-out blind to his window so it's darker for longer and definitely helps him not waking up!

In other news I stepped on the dreaded scale this morning. I have to say I tried on and squeezed back into my skinny jeans the other night, much to my surprise, and started thinking the scale was a lying bitch as according to it I still had 7-8kg to go the last time. So this morning up I went on the evil thing and still it says I'm 62kg. That is 10kg less than I was at the end of the pregnancy and still 5kg to go. There's no way I'd fit back into those if I was 5kg heavier than the pre-drugs IF madness. I think I wasn't even 10 weeks along and I couldn't wear them any more. So that's it, either the thing is lying or the weight has redistributed itself in other places. Which has to be my upper body. But 5kg?? Mystery. They may be still most on my belly (the jeans are a low-waist model) but I'm working on it. You know, I'm going back to Italy in 4 weeks time and me, Oliver, mum and sister are going to the sea-side. Arrrhhhggghh I'll have to buy a bikini or something (it must be 10 years I've not gone to the sea side for holidays) and I'm dreading it! I imagine myself wearing a wrap or a T-shirt all the time...sad I know. Four weeks to tone up. Not sure I can do it. Also, I've always had horrible capillaries and visible veins in my legs which got worse with the pregnancy. So as part of the body-renovation I've started getting them "erased". Problem is, I do that in Italy and you can't sunbathe afterwards, so I can't get any more done till sea time. I won't be a pleasant sight on the beach I'm afraid. Let's hope Oliver will be the centre of attention then!

And thanks so much for the messages about Patches. No major progress I'm afraid, maybe the eye is better but he's breathing is still very congested. Ultimate Vet Hero will come to see him tomorrow.

Loving ICLW week! I've actually got to read blogs I've never read before which is just fantastic! Stick around folks, Attic updates and pics of the nursery are coming soon!

Blog restyle, ICLW system, Attic and mojo

Do you like my new blog look? I do! I think it looks fresh and here Spring is in the air!! Though today is a bit wet, but hey it's Ireland and we had incredible weather for so long! Come to think of it...it may have been our summer...Anyway, I realised I missed my second blogversary (April 9th) so I decided to give it a facelift and to add a thingy on the sidebar which hopefully will remind me next year.

I'm really working hard this time at ICLW. I feel I have not participated for so long I owe to the community to do my best to comment on every blog in the list. So I have a system. I started from the top and the only blogs I have not commented on are those that at the time of me reading them had not posted since the ICLW week started. You have to have a screening method or with 179 blogs on the list you'll never manage. Anyway, with two and half days to go I'm at number 90. And this is on top of my normal commenting which has also taken a turn for the better as I want to make sure I return the love and support to all of you knowing I've not been the best since Oliver arrival. And I don't want to be one of those bloggers that disappears once their miracle arrives.

And no floor went down in the attic. More preparation took place though and more defects have been discovered. So new email to the architect who will recall the builder who will come and fix it...

Finally my mojo is no where to be found. I feel as attractive as a plastic bag... not sure when this started, maybe a few weeks ago, my period is attempting to normalise but not quite there yet. I bleed for a few days, then it stops and then it's back for a couple of days only a day later. I wonder if the hormones are doing the same and upsetting my normal self so much. So it's not fun for Mike. But what can I do? It's not the baby at all, it's just my body that's upsetting my sexuality. Can't seem to shift the weight, my boobs could do with a boob job and overall I'm just flabby. Maybe it's because I've always felt very comfortable with how I looked that now that I'm not, I can't possibly see how Mike may still find me attractive. Still all worth it when I compare it with what I gained in my life, but it would be nice to get a bit of horniness back...

Back

We are back! As I sat on the plane, holding Oliver, I felt the urge to "reassure" the guy sitting next to me that on the way over Oliver slept all the time. No one likes sitting beside a child on a plane. I certainly didn't and now I'm at the receiving end of the look that says "oh my God please please please move along ...no no no no no....damn...just my luck...". Thankfully he was once again the perfect baby.

Another thing is back. My period! 30 days after the last bleed. Good old body is still working as if it mattered. It feels good though to be back to normal. I hope this will help loosing the weight. I'm not progressing at all in that sense, I still have the same 7-8 kg to shift. I walk, I eat next to nothing, thyroid functioning fine...I wonder if this is the new me forever.

Next week I'll start yoga again.

This Thursday there is a big big big event. The official launch of Ectopic Pregnancy Ireland. I cannot believe I have been of so little help right when the charity needed it most. The girls have organised everything, it's going to be great. A few weeks ago two of them went on national Tv for a short interview and raising awareness. Since then our FB page got may more hits and we have been able to reach out to several women. I am so excited and so proud of what we (mostly they!) have done. I'll post about it at the end of the week.

Weekly check

Oliver's weight is now 4.28 kg! So he's doing really well. I still have not weighed myself as I'm sure I have not lost a gram...

In other news, I brought my left over meds to the clinic this afternoon, no point in letting them elapse in my fridge, I'll get them fresh when it'll be time again. I saw my Fav Doctor and told her about the histology results on the placenta, she also didn't think much at all about it, probably the diminished fluids were to be blamed, she said that if there was an infection they would have investigated what bacterium caused it and above all I'd have had sings. That's it then, no more worrying! I asked also about maybe doing a hysteroscopy before going again and she doesn't think there is the need as the procedure is "clean" meaning it doesn't leave tissues back and she added "you had so many surgeries already we'll definitely try to spare you another one!"

She also agrees with Dr. L on the time really needed between pregnancies after a c-section, but she feels that as soon as Oliver will be more interactive I'll be much more absorbed by him so we may push our next attempt a bit further down the line.

I still think I'd like to go again by the end of the year though...

Weight check

We are 2 and half weeks into parenthood and I cannot remember life without Oliver.

It finally feels real. It only sunk in over the weekend. I happened to look at the clock on Saturday at 4.15pm and thinking we were in the middle of the drama only 2 weeks before...I made a conscious effort of reliving (willingly) all that happened repeating to myself all was well in the end. I think it helped a lot. I looked at Oliver staring back at me and realised he IS my son. Saying it (or writing it) still is a little strange, like when I started referring to Mike as my husband.

All is well with him, he's definitely very alert, feeds very well (on formula, I am still only able to use my expressed milk as a top up of the formula!) and his weight check today at 2w3d was 2.98kg! He put on 300gr in 5 days! That's my boy! My weight check, on the other hand, a week after birth was 66kg (6 gone, 9 to go!) and 2 weeks after birth it was 65 kg (7 gone 8 to go!), let's hope it'll be declining as steadily as I put it on!

Sleep is also quite good, he would feed around 1am or 2am and then again at 5am or 6am and we both go back to sleep afterwards. We also bathed him a few times already, he loves it!! What he doesn't like is coming out of the water in the cold (we wrap him immediately but still) or getting undressed to get into the water...ah well...hopefully that'll settle too.

Breastfeeding is still a total failure. Oliver doesn't latch on at all, he may make an effort if I wear those nipple shields but not sure if he takes much. Pumping is...going. I can't say it's going well, but it's going. I've started taking fenugreek which definitely helps and my yield has gone up a bit, I managed to get the amazing mount of 60mL (2oz) yesterday in the whole day! That's twice what I was getting a couple of days ago. At this pace, Oliver will be on solids by the time I'll be able to produce one full feed for him...But again, at least he's taking some.

I also wanted to share the advice that the paediatrician had give me which is much the opposite of what all lactation specialists/website would recommend. She said when milk supply never really came in, that it's a bit pointless to pump every couple of hours as I'm only ever going to get drops and may even hurt myself. She said to allow time at least at the beginning say do it twice a day and see how it goes. I have to say, the first time I did this I collected as much I had got in the whole day the previous day! What a satisfaction! Yesterday then I pumped twice with good yields both times. I'm planning to do the same and see how it goes. Then move up to three times. I feel better about this plan, I found it very very frustrating pumping so often for literally a few drops at the time...

I also got my appointment for post-natal check with my doctor and that will happen on the 9th of February. Nice. It feels like the first step back to normal life (I'll be able to drive after that wohooo!). My wound has healed perfectly, I do have a bit of a bump just above the scar, it may take a little while to get back to flat (will it go back to flat?).

On the list of things to do there is the registration of Oliver's birth next week and application for his passport so that we can fly home!!