Attic, Adoption and Kittens

Something is moving right along and something else is at a stand still...

Attic: Planning application is in! We need to wait 5 weeks before we know if someone has complained (hopefully not!) and then we should hear from the planning office and how they rule on our proposal! Right on target, we absolutely love our architect.

Adoption: You may recall that 3 weeks ago, right after my BFN, I got a surprise call from the Adoption Board, Miss L needed some extra info and said she would write up a quick report and then we should be ready to be put on the waiting list. She added to call if I didn't hear anything within 3 weeks. So, of course I hadn't. I called this morning, left a message, she called back and said that now our application was with the medical board that had to check MIL medical history and then move us to the the final board (I think that one must be right beside God....it seems so difficult to get to that level...). Also whoever had to look at our application is off sick this week, so it'll be next week at the earliest....And suddenly it all sounded like old music. Not holding my breath to be honest with you, I think now we'll have plenty of time to do two ICSI if we have to. This thing that we may be on a prep course within a year looks more and more like one of those lies they tell terminal patients (you'll get better soon). So not in great mood about this as you can imagine. L was really nice, she said to call again in a few weeks if we still have no news. Yeah, right.

Kittens: They are both very very well, and inseparable. They got they second vaccination this evening and although they didn't enjoy it it wasn't much of drama!

My acupuncture went very well, I feel much better and yoga also was great. So this is my news! Can't wait for the weekend and the London retreat!!

The next step and back to acupuncture

I was waiting to post until I had some news on when this hysteroscopy was going to happen. To cut a long story short there was some break down in communication (and faxing!) between my clinic and Dr. B who'll be performing the procedure. His secretary was really lovely and proactive though, so she dealt directly with my clinic and called me a little while ago to confirm that they now have the referral, that Dr. B will contact me later today to explain what will happen and that yes the procedure is confirmed for the 16th of March! Next tuesday!! The day before our anniversary which happens to be St. Patrick's Day and as such is holiday in Ireland! I'm planning of taking a long weekend and chill out!

Thanks so much for all your comments on my headaches and Patches. I'm glad to report that Patches is back to his normal self (better in fact!) and that The Dude, although still very very shy, doesn't run away any more if you go near him. Still we cannot pick him up, but we are confident this may change sometime in the future.

My headaches come and go, I don't have to take painkillers though which means it's really not that strong, I do sleep very well, I don't wake up with a headache but I feel I'm "blocked" in my sinus and the left ear. So I now think it's a combination of head-cold, stress from overwork, and neck stiffness! I took matter into my hands and called my acu practitioner and I'm going to see her this evening. She didn't know of my latest ectopic and my last failed ICSI and she was really really nice. I look forward to a relaxing session!

Update: Dr. B just called! So he'll perform the procedure under mild anaesthetic so that if he finds something like a polyp or scar tissue he'll be able to remove it there and then! My super long weekend just became a reality and I have the Spa on Saturday to chill out even more!

Next week

Next week is going to be very intense.
Term starts again and I have a heavy teaching load but thankfully I have everything prepared (I have to just go over the lectures but no new material) still, it's a bit nerve-wreacking going into a new class and I'll be meeting 3 new ones all in the first week!

On wednesday I have my first yoga lesson and so far I've been very good at exercising at home also.

On thursday I have my base line scan. I'm thinking of stopping the pill a day earlier like I've done the last time. I should take the last one on Sunday but then my period would have barely started before the scan, so I'll take the 20th pill on Saturday and that'll be it. It worked very well the last time anyway. I've collected all my meds from the pharmacy today and immediately put them away. No need to dwell on the volume of them by having them spreaded around the house!

On friday, on top of two lectures I have to give, my very first student (the one who had a bit of a blue moment) will defend her PhD thesis. I already got feedback from the external examiner which is excellent, but you know the way it is...I feel very emotional about it and I hope I'll be able to hold it together afterwards, they all know I'm a softy one but still! Another student of mine just got awarded a Master. That makes two in just over 4 years and another one will submit is PhD thesis next month. A fourth one is on her way to finishing up. I'm not sure how all this happened. But it did and I'm really proud of my group. These 3 also have already a job to go to. Amazing. My colleagues today at lunch were lovely, they said we have to celebrate me as this is really a milestone! I suppose it really is. After the viva and lunch I will have to introduce the examiner's lecture and bring her out to dinner ... and I suppose the next thing will be going home and start injecting! It is common practice here to hit the pub for a bit of celebration with the group, but...somehow...I will have to give this one a miss I'm afraid.

I know the week will fly by, I have every cell of my body set to "Positivity ON!" meaning I'm repeating to myself that everything will work out just the way it should be. If I'm lucky enough the damn computer (aka the New Toy) will be repaired and return to me after 2 months in repair! See if I'm able to start using it!

Finally, on the stream of other blog-friends just about to cycle, I've told nobody bar family about this upcoming ICSI. Not sure Mike will remember this at all though! I know I will be able to talk to my friends, if I wish, afterwards, no matter how it'll turn out. They will understand. Let's see if it makes any difference.
I must remember to book in my reiki/acupuncture also!

New findings on alternative therapies and IVF

Being a scientist has some advantages when you deal with IF. First of all I can access most scientific journals with the latest reports, stats and outcomes of new protocols. Then of course the is the "need to know" everything in details. I don't know if I had mentioned in the past that I met another IFer attending my same clinic when I was doing my intralipid and we got talking about our protocols. Well, she new nothing about hers, didn't know what type of protocol she was doing either (mind you she had a failed cycle on her cv, so you'd think she'll be motivated enough to understand WTF happened and could she do anything different) and she was describing to me her meds by the colour of the packaging so tat I could guess...ah well...I'm sure it's not just me that NEEDS to know as much as possible about this journey, but I know that my background gives me some sort of compulsion to learn the scientific inside outs of the process. At our last ET we even had a session with our embryologist!

So, I get by emails regular updates on newly published articles which can be related or not to what I'm actually researching to earn my salary, and mostly they are not. Last friday I got one of those updates and I quickly scan through the headlines and one definitely caught my attention. It titled "In Vitro Fertilization Less Successful With Alternative Fertility Treatments". Now, you can check the link, this is just a "lay" summary of what the real article talks about. So I went to the source and got the origianal paper to get the full picture with my own eyes. This is a 2009 paper, so it's quite fresh on the shelf. I don't think you'd have access to it so if you are interested in the full paper email me and I'll send it to you as pdf. So it seems true, 30% LOWER ongoing pregnancy/live birth rate for people that use alternative therapies (specifically the top three are reflexology, herbal supplements and acupuncture). I actually was shocked. I have gone to acupuncture myself spending a good few bobs on it for the past year and I may actually have lowered my chances?? Alright, I'm a special case, two fresh cycles ended up in a pregnancy which was just in the wrong place. Two FET cycles didn't really work (ok, I had a chemical pregnancy the second time) but I believe the reason is that my body didn't respond well to the medication. So overall I got SOMEWHAT pregnant evey fresh cycle, and overall 75% of the time I had a transfer. I did acupuncture for my first 3 attempts and switched to a milder reiki/acu this last time. Also the number of sessions I had in the first 3 attempts was much higher as I went also during the 2ww. What will I do at my next cycle? Mmh probably not much! A part from the onoing pregnancy rate the paper reports several other data from the two groups of women such as the number of eggs retrieved embryos produced and embryos transferred (correlated to the amount ofdrugs taken); they are statistically the same. There doesn't appear to be a single area where alternative therapies helped. The number of IVF/ICSI cycles is even higher in the group that went for alternative therapies!
I know we are doing everything we can to get a cycle to work, but what if we are doing the wrong thing? The scientist in me, alhough always very open to alternative therapies, may be reverting to pure science...

New alternative experience

I want to thank you all for your kind words of support. Elliej my dear friend thank you so much for checking on me, I'd love to know how you are doing. Cathy your post was so true and you are right I should be thankful for the possibilities I have (and I am, but a reminder is always welcome!). Flower, Sweet Georgia, Sandra and Clare I am so lucky to have you looking after me and I want you all to know this means a lot!!

So I suppose all your positive messages have done the trick, I do feel much better and more positive. On friday I went to see a girl that does acupuncture, holistic massage and reiki. She combines all this in one session or whichever way you woudl like according to your needs. I loved her! She's french, young and her studio has a great positive energy. So I didn't feel like having acupuncture but she put those sticky beads on some acu-points just to induce some relaxation. She then perform reiki on me, I never got it done before, so I can't really tell much a part from the fact that it was a truly relaxing experience, I even had a dream! Not sure if it has anything to do with the fact that finally my tension headache has gone. It was so psycosomatic I was annoied with myself. But now I keep saying to myself positive things (affirmations) and I find it helps a lot too.
Last night I started the injections, all good, nothing to report even the Clex.ane was fine. Had also a good night sleep despite the steroids, let's hope it'll last!
Then I got my hair done this morning and I feel really good about myself now. Since I stopped the pill I have already lost 2 kilos! Wowowowo!! Go me!! It was definitely fluid retention. So only 4 more to go but I'm very happy already.
So here are my affirmations:
I AM POSITIVE ABOUT THIS NEW CYCLE....
I FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF....
THINGS WILL BE FINE...
AND I AM HAPPY...

Oh and something is happening on the adoption front too! Our referees have been contacted already and they are checking out our consultants at the moment! It's great to know our documents are not just sitting on someone's desk!