6 months check-up and 28 weeks!

We have nicely settled back into our routine and Oliver is doing very well. No particular reaction to the vaccines (the 4 months shots were definitely worse) and we had a nice weekend.

Some more work was done to the attic (yes I know, still not finished!) and we changed all the windows too to triple glazed, high efficiency ones.

AF also made her appearance over the weekend and I hope to be back on track for September.

During the week I brought Oliver to the paed for a routine 6 month check up and he did very well. He's growing in weight (8kg!) and hight (67cm) which according to online calculators means he's between the 25 and 50 percentile so I'm very happy with that as he's on track, in fact probably getting closer to the 50%. Paed was very happy with developmental progress and said he can now eat everything he likes including eggs and meat. Nice!

I think he's getting much stronger in his upper body and can sit almost by himself (still needs a bit of support for balance) and rolling is now a very common thing. Still, he can't roll back and he gets frustrated when on his tummy for too long. My little man is 28 weeks today!

Oliver's best friend at the moment is Carlito. Carlito is our kitten and he loves licking and chewing Oliver's fingers! Oliver doesn't seem to mind (most of the times!) and could spend ours looking at the cats playing and caressing them. I closely supervise this, I don't want him to be too rough with the cats and of course he still doesn't have a clear idea of the fact that pinching is NOT ok!

Finally I bought another gadget... this is a kitchen robot which cooks as well as mixing! I love it! It was seriously expensive but I think I'll use it a lot and it's great also for baby food. Mom has it since Christmas and praises it on a daily bases. I've made pizza, bread, risotto and tiramisu, all super yummy!

21 weeks, the nursery and Carlito

Thank you all so so much for the outpour of love on my last post. Some of you were following me last year when we got the kittens so I truly appreciate every comment. You are amazing.

Oliver today is 21 weeks! Doing very well and I thought I'd post a couple of pics of the tiny nursery where he'll stay till he goes into the big boys room sometime in the future.

The Stokke sleepi bed and the corner of the changing table

A close up of the wall decorations and the wooden mobile

A shot of the other side with Oliver on the changing table and the cloth nappy covers!

It's been a week since Oliver started sleeping in his room and we couldn't be happier. Everyone is getting much more sleep. We bring him into our bed in the morning sometimes for a cuddle and he loves it!

Our room is now back to ourselves and the cats. Patches slept with us his last night (we didn't know it was his last night but it's nice to know he had lots of cuddles) and since then the Dude is spending the nights on our bed. We didn't allow the cats to sleep with us when Oliver was there too, I still wouldn't feel comfortable with them jumping in his crib while he's inside.

Finally, I mentioned we had adopted a new kitten from the vet clinic and he's with us since yesterday. We called him Carlito after much debate but now it fits him perfectly. He's about 5 weeks old but he's so active and playful, yet very well behaved and cuddly we are all very happy. Except the Dude who is still keeping his distance. It went this way. The Dude saw Carlito and went near him to smell him. Carlito hissed and made himself as big as possible (which means about the size of a Dude's paw!), the Dude took it badly and has hissed at him since. But then he runs away, never lifted a paw, so Carlito now knows he's a gentle giant and just want to play with him. The Dude acts like he's afraid of him and went on a hunger strike for 24 hours (back to eating this evening even though in a different room to minimise the stress). He's now quite happily in the same room (the kitchen) as Carlito but never gets too close. Carlito on the other hand is trying his best to get as close to the Dude as possible! Hopefully they'll be friends soon, I know the Dude has space in his heart for another friend. Once the loss of Patches is accepted.

Carlito 27th of May 2011, about 5 weeks old

Goodbye Patches

There was nothing else we could do to try and help him. Today when the Ultimate Vet Hero came over to see him, she agreed he had not made much progress and that we were out of ideas. I think Mike and I knew this was going to be the outcome but we needed Ultimate Vet Hero to feel the same. She was devastated and I know she treated him like one of her own pets. I don't know who was more upset if me or her. But it was the right thing to do. So she took him away and then texted me when it was all over to say it was very quick and peaceful. Knowing it was the right thing to do doesn't make it less sad though.

We will get another kitten, a healthy one hopefully this time. The Dude needs a friend. The Vet clinic currently has 10 kittens looking for a home, so this evening we went to see them. We should have one with us by the end of the week. The Dude knew Patches was very unwell, after looking after him constantly for several days, he had distanced himself in the last three days. This is one of the latest picture of the two of them together taken last week.

Goodbye little friend, you brought the Ultimate Vet Hero in our lives and that was a great gift from such a sweet pet. You'll live forever in our hearts.

Patches 22nd of February 2010 - 23rd of May 2011

Vaccinated and Relocated!

Hi had my flu vaccine shot today. Let's hope I won't react badly to it!!

We have moved out of the duplex and into our new superfab-magazine-style penthouse. It's a one-bed top floor apt and a part for being small it's really cute. The first night was a nightmare, Patches and the Dude were very unsettled and I don't think I slept much at all. Teaching and meetings all day long on monday and yoga at 8.10 pm....I don't know how I got to the end of the day. We have only one problem in the new place which is parking. In that part of the estate, there are loads of apartments and very little parking. If the weather was good it wouldn't be a big deal parking one car in our own spot at the duplex and walk back...but it's Ireland! And it's November!! Not such a a thing as good weather unfortunately. Anyway, I crashed on the bed and had a great night sleep so I'm a new woman today! No more spotting so that's good and Elvis seems to like the new bed also with frequent signs of appreciation. Go Elvis!

We had a final meeting with the builder yesterday, all is on schedule and we signed contracts so we will be moving back into the house before Christmas. Fingers crossed!! Can't wait to see how it all goes!!

Half way through! 20 weeks

If someone could have promised me years ago this would have happen one day I think I would have made sure he/she became an official Saint. But you never know. Fears, doubts, tears have been my companions for the last three and half years. Sometimes people who find out about our story think I'm incredibly strong. But I am not that strong at all, I just played with the cards I was given, if I could have changed the game believe me I would not have thought about it twice, f**k being strong! Who cares? And yet I'm here now. I decided to do a proper "point of the situation" so I borrowed the typical questions from another blog and used them as guidelines. Here they go!

How Far Along: 20 weeks

Total Weight Gain: sadly, as of today, I've put on 11kg...this is massive

Maternity Clothes: yes, can't really wear anything else and my wardrobe is quite limited!

Symptoms: I feel very big, though I'm sure I'm not that big, and movements a slow and many seem like an epic achievement (like turning in the bed, or getting up from the floor). My ankles are swollen most of the time and I've started wearing those socks to improve the circulation, they seem to help.

Stretch marks: yes, on my boobs, they just exploded way too fast!

Sleep: I’m sleeping ok-ish, getting up once to pee and then I'm awake for a while, back to sleep and I'm awake around 6.30. Surely the fact that the Dude starts screaming like a seagull around that time doesn't help...you cannot believe it until you see it!
Best Moment of the Week: Feeling a kick on the outside! It happened only once on Thursday night while I was in bed.
Movement: I feel movements every day now, but the frequency can be very very different. Some days only a couple of light touches in total, others much more often.

Food cravings: not really anything in particular, but definitely sweet things of all sorts, preferably chocolate based.
Gender: Don't know! We think we may go for a surprise!
What I Miss: Nothing at all, I wouldn't trade this for anything.
What I'm Looking Forward To: Honestly? Having Elvis here with us. Everything in between is a mix of anxiety and what ifs.
Weekly Wisdom: Listen to pregnancy relaxation CDs
Milestones: Half way through the pregnancy! Unbelievable.
Emotions: doing quite ok, but I am more irritable and a bit more emotional than usual. If I feel anxious I take the doppler out and listen to Elvis heartbeat which is now around 150bpm on average.
Upcoming Appointments: Anatomy scan on wednesday followed by blood tests for thyroid functions.

So this is it my readers, me and Elvis! I'll post belly pics at the end of the month (oh by the way, I was not bottomless in the previous ones! But it looks that way for some reason..)

In other news, I almost finished that proposal I mentioned last week, so I hope I'll be a bit more present after tuesday. Still have done nothing on the posters and I'm leaving next sunday for the conference...

Cats are well, Patches is without steroids now but back on the thyroxine, we just could not keep him off the meds, he was well for 5 days like I wrote last week but then he started getting worse, so we agreed that we do't care about the accuracy of the test, for us the value was so low that it's unlikely it was skewed by the meds or other illnesses.

Today there is the All Ireland Hurling Final and Mike is going to see the match, I'll be watching it from the couch! Come on the Cats!

And seven!

7 weeks today! This is definitely a milestone. Of course at this stage it simply means I had no surgery and I'm assuming Elvis is doing well, but who knows!

Our flight was uneventful and we arrived on time to collect the cats and do all my injections. Patches and The Dude are doing really well, a part from Patches hissing like a snake any time The Dude goes near him! I think the problem is that The Dude completely ignores the warning sings and just wants to play with him. I'm sure it'll all settle in a day or so.

The night didn't go too well, we slept very little, it was too warm for the duvet we had on the bed and the cats were meowing for attention, so this morning I have a mighty headache... I'm trying to drink a lot of water in case I'm a bit dehydrated from the flight but it doesn't seem to help much yet.

We are going shopping now, as you can imagine we have nothing in the house!

Going home tomorrow

Today is the last day in Italy. We've already checked-in for the flight tomorrow (on-line check-in is great) and we are now thinking about how to organise the pick-up of the cats! I so look forward to seeing them again! I hope they'll settle back in the house no problem.

And to terminate my holiday well, I decided to get a blood test to see if I'm positve for toxoplasmosis (I've linked a website if you want to know more) as we know Patches is definitely not a carrier but we don't know about The Dude. Also, in Italy they test regularly for this while in Ireland nobody ever mentioned it (and it costed me a fraction in any case!). I'll get my results next friday, my sister will collect it for me.

Now...of course I thought....how about I get my hcg tested again, just so that I can freak out when the value won't be too high...so I did it in the same private lab. The results were ready at 4pm today and it read 12.464 mU/mL. Looking at my previous data is in line, not very high but within the expected doubling time for 6w5d. But I had to freak out nonetheless. The range given by this lab has values for 6-7 weeks from the LMP starting at 10500. I checked everything online and every range I found gives for 6-7 weeks of pregnancy values starting between 1000 and 3000! So what the hell was wrong with this lab??

Eventually I noticed that the values they give for 4-5 weeks from the LMP start at 1500!!! No way someone has those values unless they have multiplets! Also they give less than 4 for a negative which is normal, so what week is someone in if she has values between 4 and 1500? I called the lab of course, but by the time I had realised that their table should have stated "from ovulation" rather than "LMP" the doc was gone. Ah well. Mum is determined to call them on monday in any case. I found a girl who posted on a local board who had a BFP after 15dpIUI, went to the same lab and she had a value of 289 and couldn't tell i she was pregnant from that damn table! Criminal, in my opinion!

Ah well, the only important thing will be the viability scan anyway. I admit I'm worried the dream will end once again. But I suppose this is the path we all have to walk.

6dp6dt and no idea

Today is 6 days after my transfer. The embryologist said that actually there is no difference between a day 6 and a day 5 so our embryo could be considered a standard day 5 blast. Normally I have some feelings about the cycle, and typically at some point I have a dream that tends to be right about whether the cycle has worked or not. It's a very clear cut dream, either I dream I'm bleeding or a fading HPT, or I dream a positive test.

Not such a thing this time. I'm blissfully unaware of what may be going on in there. I wonder if the kittens are working somewhat of a miracle in keeping me occupied and less in tune with my body. I have to say I love it. Not being stressed about the wait I mean. I'm enjoying waiting this time.

I was half considering testing on Sunday, it will be 9 days after a blast transfer, surely if I'm pregnant it'll show by then. The reasoning is that I will have to go in for beta if it's positive due to my history, so if I can get two blood tests before I leave on Thursday would be good. But then...they have hospitals in Italy, I can get my HCG tested there if needs to be. On the other hand, if the test is negative, I can stop the meds and get my period over with before we go to the seaside on the island after the wedding (oh, by the way, the wedding is in mainland Italy, and it's a couple of Italian friends getting married, so nothing too unusual for them!).

What would you do?

All good in Petland also, I know you wanted to know!

Basal scan and Flying Ban

I had my basal scan this morning, everything looked great. I had my favourite Doctor doing the scan so I told her about the hysteroscopy and the darn spotting for the full duration of the pill!! (I'm spotting free since yesterday though, please join me in the happy dance!) She also said it was normal and she was very sorry to hear about the scarring but that it's gone now and that Dr. B is a great doctor. So I'm starting my other drugs this evening but listen to this....NO VIAGRA!! I know I know, how disappointing!! But she said that if I had scarring tissue it could have been the cause for the slow thickening of the endometrium and that I may not need it at all. Next scan is next Monday so we'll see then. I wonder if I can return the Viagra and get a refund...

On other news, do you remember my parents flew over last Wednesday to a few days with us? Well...they arrived just before the Volcano erupted in Iceland and they are now stranded here until they lift the flight ban on Irish skies. They should have gone back today but we knew on Saturday the company had grounded all flights until lunch time today (including theirs) and yesterday they extended the ban until at least next Wednesday. So, a part from the company, we have gained a permanent maid who cooks, cleans and irons! and I became a lady of leisure...

Kitten are doing well, I'm still obsessed that Patches isn't eating much but he gained 100g in the last week and seems to be quite playful. The Dude is great as usual, really sweet and big. My parents adore them.

And the last piece of news is that Mike bought a new car on Saturday! It's his first brand new car so it's all very exciting and we can't wait until it arrives in a few weeks.

Meds collected

Yesterday I went to the chemist and collected my meds. Due to the fact that Viagra is only allowed on prescriptions for erectile dysfunction (which...strangely...I don't have!) the bill was eye-watering...

Anyway, I have now all my blue pills, the steroids, the clexane, the oestrogen, the aspirins and all the needles and alcohol swabs. And I can't get over the idea that I may be stuffing myself with all this drugs (yet again) for only one penguin which may not survive the thaw. If I had a choice, and if the clinic would have given me the option of going natural even if they say the chances of getting pregnant on a natural FET are lower than on a medicated cycle, I definitely would have gone with no drugs. The gamble here is way too risky. I only have one day-6 blast for which I'm getting ready with the full army of hormones as if I had more.

I wonder if once again I'll fall in the less likely portion of the statistics: one embryo that WILL survive the thaw and a NORMAL PREGNANCY with just one to transfer...can you imagine?

On the other hand I'm still spotting. Including AF is now almost 3 weeks...it's not much at all, but enough to wear a panty-liner every day. It's frustrating to say the least. I'm sure it's the pill but at least I'm only 8 days from the last one. Hopefully it'll all be normal at the first scan on the 19th.

On the 8th I'll start the Suprefact and I better remember to drink like a fish to avoid headaches.

Patches and The Dude are doing very well, it's as if they've always been with us! They are a constant source of love, cuddle, and entertainment...they've grown quite a lot and we track their weight on the Wii Fit! Here some more recent pics!

Happy Anniversary! **Update: Patches is home!**

Happy St. Patrick's Day to everyone else out there and also Happy Anniversary to Mike and I! This is our third anniversary and three years ago we were in Tuscany, blessed with a sunny day in the middle of March (it actually snowed two days later!) surrounded by friends and family having a great time. I'll post a picture or two soon.

We are still having a great time despite the difficulties we have been through, we are together and supporting each other, it doesn't actually feel that three years have passed but I suppose I still feel like I'm 25 inside so...I just have to acknowledge I'm a good bit older and happily married for a while now!

On other fronts, we phone the vet this morning and Patches is very alert, ate his food through the night and they'll call us later with more medical info (and we'll be visiting in the afternoon anyway) come on Patches, we and the Dude want you back home!!

Update:

While we were out shopping, the vet called that Patches temperature was still normal and that they were happy to send him home with some medications!! So we went straight to pick him up and The Dude was indeed very happy despite the funny smell Patches had. He's much better, but still a bit tired, so he snuggled on the couch with Mike all afternoon, and The Dude was quite comfortable on my laps for the first time ever!!

Reasons to be optimistic

Thank you so much for being there for me all the time.

Last night a basically dragged myself to bed before 10 pm. I was wrecked. The vet had called us saying that Patches temperature was normal and that we just had to wait and see.

This morning I was better, I slept well so that's always a good medicine. Mike drove me to the clinic at 7.30, I was checked in, Mike went home and promised to let me know as soon as he had phoned the vet. The initial report was good, meaning that Mike spoke with the nurse around 8.45 and she was the same who admitted Patches yesterday, so although the vet wasn't there yet and she didn't check his temp, she thought he was a bit better than yesterday. And this was music to my ears as I walked to the theatre.

When I woke up, I was in no pain at all, but I remember the nurse giving me painkillers of various kind, so I thought to myself 'Dr. B must have found something or there would be no need of meds'. I slept for a good while, and then I noticed I had a pad which was quite stained. Another hint that something more than a general look had gone on down there. Dr. B came to talk to me just before I was sent home and he showed me pictures he took which showed a lot of scar tissue on that back wall of the uterus!! There is no explanation why I had it he said, it's like a fibroid it can just grow and definitely this would have interfered with implantation!! He removed all the scarred tissue and I'm as clean as a whistle! ehehe

Then I basically slept all day and Mike went to visit Patches at the vet. His temperature is still normal, he's eating, drinking, peeing and pooing which are all good things. Still has this gagging reflex but today he was much more alert. I suppose the fact that he's not boiling with fever helps a lot. The breathing is still a bit laboured and they think there's still fluids in the lungs. We have to wait and see of course, it's still a long road and they'll keep him in until he has fully recovered. So we are delighted and trying to be optimistic!

The Dude is becoming more and more affectionate, I suppose he has only us now so we have to be enough for him. The big step is that he jumped on Mike's lap today! So again we are hopeful that with time he'll fully settle.

Patches

Thank you all for you nice comments, I need them.

Patches this morning was not better at all, in fact he was worse. I had two separate nightmares in an almost sleepless night in which we had to put him to sleep. I was in a terrible state this morning.

I brought him in, they took him in and then they phoned us saying his temperature was very high (105.8 which didn't mean much to me until I check the conversion in °C) and that they had him on a cooling system and under oxygen. They wanted to test for FIV (feline version of HIV) and FeLV (a fatal leukemia virus) of course we gave permission and thankfully they were both negative.

The vet thinks it may be either pneumonia (best case scenario) of FIP (feline infectious peritonitis, worse case scenario, fatal). he has fluids in his lungs which makes it very difficult for him to breathe. This morning they gave Patches two different antibiotics, steroids, fluids and something to help him getting rid of the fluids in the lungs. This afternoon his temperature was down to 101.6 (apparently almost normal in cats), had a bit to eat and drink (but he has this gagging reflex, the poor thing, he manages to keep it down though), breathing was much much better and had started to purr again. I went to the vet around 12 (I was useless in work anyway) the nurse was really nice, but I couldn't see him then, she told me about the pneumonia then and said to come around 3 or 4 and I could stay with him a while. So I did. He looks so so miserable and yet he's better than this morning, can you imagine...but I know it could be just a temporary reaction to the steroids as the vet said.

I am totally wrecked, can't eat much myself, my stomach is shut and The Dude at home is looking around behind doors and corners making that trilling sound he does when he wants Patches to come and play. He peed outside the litter box, very unusual for him and clear sign of distress.

And tomorrow I'm going in for my hysteroscopy.

Back!

I'm back from the fab weekend, it was truly relaxing and I had a great time with my best friend P.

This morning Mike texted me that Patches had been a bit off form yesterday but was better today. Ok...I thought, the booster may have upset him a bit. But guys, when I arrived home Patches was again breathing with great difficulty, in through the mouth and out through a very blocked nose, very lethargic and weak. Poor Patches...obviously Mike didn't want to have me worrying during my two days in London and didn't say anything on saturday.

He has not eaten or drunk much at all since early this morning so we boiled some chicken, blended it and force fed him with a syringe a little bit but I think I'm bringing him back to the vet tomorrow...I promise I'll post more pictures very soon, I'll be home tomorrow afternoon and then tuesday (hysteroscopy day!) and wednesday (Paddy's Day and third anniversary!) so I'll definitely do it then, just a recent one now to show you how they sleep!

Attic, Adoption and Kittens

Something is moving right along and something else is at a stand still...

Attic: Planning application is in! We need to wait 5 weeks before we know if someone has complained (hopefully not!) and then we should hear from the planning office and how they rule on our proposal! Right on target, we absolutely love our architect.

Adoption: You may recall that 3 weeks ago, right after my BFN, I got a surprise call from the Adoption Board, Miss L needed some extra info and said she would write up a quick report and then we should be ready to be put on the waiting list. She added to call if I didn't hear anything within 3 weeks. So, of course I hadn't. I called this morning, left a message, she called back and said that now our application was with the medical board that had to check MIL medical history and then move us to the the final board (I think that one must be right beside God....it seems so difficult to get to that level...). Also whoever had to look at our application is off sick this week, so it'll be next week at the earliest....And suddenly it all sounded like old music. Not holding my breath to be honest with you, I think now we'll have plenty of time to do two ICSI if we have to. This thing that we may be on a prep course within a year looks more and more like one of those lies they tell terminal patients (you'll get better soon). So not in great mood about this as you can imagine. L was really nice, she said to call again in a few weeks if we still have no news. Yeah, right.

Kittens: They are both very very well, and inseparable. They got they second vaccination this evening and although they didn't enjoy it it wasn't much of drama!

My acupuncture went very well, I feel much better and yoga also was great. So this is my news! Can't wait for the weekend and the London retreat!!

Patches drama and other updates

I haven't posted anything in almost a week, I've been so busy in work...thank God we now have two weeks break...

We had a real scare with Patches (the cuddly kitten). On tuesday night I thought he wasn't breathing properly, like he had his nosed closed and his "voice" was strange too. But he ate dinner, used the litter box, played with The Dude etc. On wednesday morning still seemed ok but by the time I came home in the evening, he was definitely sick. Breathing was much worse, he didn't eat at all (as if he couldn't) and was very lethargic. The Dude was frantic, he knew there was something wrong, he didn't even attempt to play with Patches but wanted to be near him all the time. At one point I actually thought Patches was dying. On thursday morning he was still alive but in no better shape. Mike brought the two of them to the vet and we waited for news. He seems to have a viral respiratory tract infection, no fever but swollen glands. The vet gave him an injection of antibiotic and one of anti-inflammatory for precaution and said to go back in on Monday if he didn't improve (but she was optimistic). In the evening he was already much better, had dinned, played with The Dude and come on our laps for cuddles. the breathing was also much better. This morning he was up already, eager to have his food, but he's still without voice....it breaks your heart actually, you see that he's opening his mouth to meow and no sound comes out! I am a bit more hopeful now that he will recover, the vet thinks he's been incubating this virus since before we got him from the shelter (very common occurrence, and you know it may happen, but when it does...you are already so so attached that you feel physical pain at the thought of losing the kitten). The Dude should be fine, he's a bit older and his immune-system is stronger.

Attic update: we got the official go-head from the developers and the architect will submit the planing application early next week!! Very excited about this of course!

IF update: I had contacted the doctor recommended by the clinic for the hysteroscopy to see when she could fit me in. Well, she's booked up until the middle of April!! Come on...we are talking private patient here and still is 6 weeks waiting time?? No way. I called the clinic and eventually I emailed the Super Doctor who was away this week, he emailed back suggesting someone else and all going well I should be able to get the exam done in the middle of March! That's the timeline I'm talking about!

I'm having frequent headaches which have made me paranoid that I have a brain tumour...I know I know, but some of you can understand....

Wrapping up ICLW

This week really flew away! For me it has been a week filled with things to do and novelties. To wrap them all up here goes the list:

1) I had the WTF review on tuesday which went well, the plan is to have a hysteroscopy to make sure I have nothing that impedes the implantation in the uterus and then schedule the FET with the single penguin we had in this cycle. I will be on a modified protocol this time which will involve Viagra to maximise the blood flow to the uterus. I look forward to the experience :o)

2) Patches and the Dude came home also on tuesday, they quickly got to know each other and now are inseparable! They sleep together, play together, and even lick each other, so we are delighted with that. Patches was very affectionate from the very beginning, the Dude on the contrary was quite shy and would hiss at you if you were getting too close or try to pet him. Well, yesterday both Mike and I were able to pet him for quite a while (from under the table)! We are hopeful that he will relax a bit more but we know it may take some time.

3) My second PhD student submitted his thesis on friday! What a milestone for him (and for me!) I am really happy with the way his project turned out so hopefully the external examiner will be of the same opinion. The viva will be some time in April.

4) Mum and Dad have finally booked a flight to come visiting after Easter. It took two kittens to get them over here! They will love them and this is now the main topic of conversation when we chat on skype "how are the kittens?" "What do they do?" "Can you show them to us?" and so on. Bless them.

5) I have booked a weekend in London with my best friend, we are going to go to an amazing Spa (check it out here) in March! We went there for my 30th birthday 5 and a half years ago, it was about time we were going back!

6) Last but not least, I found new blogs to follow and I look forward to get to know better my cyber-frineds.

All about the kittens

Yes, we have them at home since monday and all my IF sadness seems to have magically disappeared!! I had full-on AF as it always happen after a failed cycle, headaches from hell due to quitting the steroids and yet I am so happy!

So, I don't have new pics for the moment, but I'll post definitely more soon. Patches and The Dude are settling in very well, they have started playing with each other in a very friendly/playful manner, no more hissing! And also The Dude is much less shy, still doesn't want to be picked up and would quickly "run to safety" if he thinks you are getting too close, but I'm confident it'll pass soon. Patches is very very cuddly, he starts purring before you even pet him! I can't wait to go home in the evening.

There you have it, I've turned into the mad-childless-woman who talks only about her cats!

Ahh no, I'll be posting about the attic also and the adoption and the next IF steps as soon as I have some news, so don't go away, I'll be missing you terribly!!

The kitties and the WTF review

Please welcome....the newest members of the family....

Patches O'Houlihan and The Dude Lebowski!

I can't believe we have kittens in the house! Well you may wonder about the names, I know, not the most classic cat names, but we had seen Dodgeball recently and Patches O'Houlihan really cracked Mike up (apparently the surname is typically Irish but no way the name is!) and we decided no matter what the cat looked like, if it was male or female, we would have have had a Patches! So Patches is the stripy-patchy one on the left, he's probably 3 months old and very affectionate. You pick it up and he starts purring in no time. The Dude is actually very shy, and walks really low on the ground, but he has eaten already and although Patches hisses at him a bit he's really cool about it! So Patches and The Dude are now adopted, they have found a cosy place under a trolley in the kitchen where the photo was taken and they don't seem to mind sharing it (allright, Patches is not too pleased...) we are very happy and I'll keep you posted on how they settle in.

And what do you know, while I was at the shelter I got the WTF phone call! Dr. W (the Super Doctor, the one who did the transfer) started with "Oh, Fran, I'm so frustrated it didn't work, you must be too!" oh yeah...you got that right doc! Anyway, he thinks that maybe this cycle the quality of the blasts wasn't as high as the last time, nothing to be read into it really, it just happens. He also said that we should go ahead with the penguin, you never know, it's a nice blast, likely to survive the thaw, we'll be changing a bit the protocol so that I won't be on so much estrogen and we add a bit of Viagra to the mix. Seriously. I said right so, how about we make sure we have nothing to worry with my uterus? Can I have a hysteroscopy? He said sure! I would have suggested it myself if this FET failed, might as well get it done beforehand! And so he's contacting the doctor in one of the Hospitals (very near home) and we'll get that sorted out and then here we'll schedule the FET. He was really positive about us, he said that I always got pregnant on fresh cycles, it's just in the odds that sometime it doesn't work or they would have stats of 100% success per transfer!

Anyway, it may have been that I had Patches and the Dude ready to go home, but I was very happy about the conversation, again the clinic is really hands-on and I'm sure they really want to get me pregnant!

ICLW lifesaver week

Thank God it's here. The ICLW week I mean. When I signed up for this round I was starting my ICSI #3 and of course I didn't know which three words to put down. I think I put "uncertainty" as one of them. Well, that's definitely the right word for my current situation.

Let's recap for the new readers:

IUI: 1

ICSI fresh attempts: 3

FET: 2

BFP: 2

Ectopic pregnancies: 2 (the same two as the BFP)

Tubes left: 0

Penguins available: 1

Needless to say, it is difficult to stay positive, I have my WTF review on tuesday and I hope we will have a strategy for what to do next. After the BFN just last week, I started looking into other options such as surrogacy, thinking that it's my uterus that has something wrong, but upon researching a good bit that doesn't seem to be a likely cause in our case. It could be just the chance of bad embryos like I blogged about a few days ago. We always made it to blasts, even from frozen transfers, but who knows.

My cycle-buddies all got pregnant, as it always happens with me, and the title of my blog never felt more appropriate (a part from the fact that it was not an easy journey for them either).

On our plate there is also the adoption route. After months of silence (we put in our application in June 09), I got a call last week that everything is now in order and we will receive a waiting list number for the preparation course within 3 weeks. The course will be available to us probably in 12 months (18 at the latest) and this means that our infertility treatments have now a time limit because we have to stop them 6 months prior to the beginning of the course.

So how do I cope with the difficulties I'm facing at the moment? Well, a part from the fantastic support of my cyber-friends and some IRL people, I finally convinced Mike to add fur-babies to our household! And on tuesday we'll pick up two young cats from one of the shelters! Pictures and names will be revealed then! Do stay tuned!