20 months (and 6 weeks!)

My little baby is not so little anymore, he's 20 months today! He's the joy of our lives, and I want to give a little summary of where he is at.

Teeth: he has 11, and I think the 4th molar is about to come through.
Sleeping: Sleeps through the night since we sorted him out after coming back from holidays. I can't recommend that book highly enough!
Eating: He eats everything, of course he has his preferences, but overall he's happy to try new things. Still no nuts as such for him, we just don't have many in the house in general I suppose! He's on two bottles a day (breakfast and night-time).
Talking: He is a chatterbox though it's not too clear to us what he says most of the time. He has though a lot of words which we now understand very well, most of them are in English, bar a few that are in Italian. It's very funny. He understand very well both languages.
Walking: Not a problem there, he's mostly running now in fact. He's becoming more and more adventurous and climbs chairs, tables, sofas etc. Of course he goes up the stairs too, a bit more reluctant in coming down. We still don't let him go up or down on is own though.
General behaviour: He is a very very sweet boy, very affectionate and generally quite obedient, he has his moments of course, but for now we didn't have too many tantrums. He's using his soother only at night and sleeping time, so he's growing out of it. In the creche he's in the last of the wobblers room, he'll stay there till he's two and then will move to the toddler room. He still uses the loo anytime we bring him there, we are not toilette training at all yet, but when we are at home that's where he does his business most of the time.

And I'm 6 weeks today! Nothing to report, the occasional very minor spotting still happens, and when I'm saying minor I mean it's only a hint on TP sometimes in the evening which I think may be connected to the progesteron suppositories. I have no reason to think something is wrong. I did go through a day or two where I thought that the sac looked very low in the uterus (you know...I pretend I'm an ultrasound expert!) so in the end I texted the Fav Doc who responded very quickly telling me off for being on the internet too much, that the sac is where it should be and to just stop. So I did. On tuesday we'll see how things are progressing, I think I feel a bit different this time from when I was expecting Oliver, the nausea seems a bit more (mostly every second day) and definitely the bad taste in my mouth is very prominent. I wonder if it may be a girl this time. I tested again this morning (as per clinic requirement) and the test is the same as last week. So this control line that should disappear isn't happening and I start thinking that it's a random thing depending on how much die they put in. My test line is very strong, comes up instantly. That's all I can say, and sure we'll know more on tuesday.

Next week the first years college students are arriving...let's the madness begin!!

It's in the uterus!

I was a wreck this morning. A tiny bit more spotting last night didn't help my mind at all. I was ready to see nothing at all in the uterus, to see something outside the uterus, to see nothing anywhere, and of course a tiny bit of me was hoping for the best news possible. I had not peed on any more sticks either, that's just too stressful at this stage and like you all said I'm just over analysing the intensity of each line making myself insane.
The Fav Doc called us in and immediately noted how nervous I was. But she didn't leave me hanging long, she immediately saw the sac in the right place and the developing yolk sac. Right on track for 5w3d.

What a relief! Again she said the spotting is so normal (but I never had it unless things were going wrong) between the progesterone, the clexane, the aspirin etc, it's almost a miracle not to have spotting. She'll see me again next week to see how things progress, but at least now I'm at peace! Thank you all for your support, this pregnancy will be lived differently, I just cannot waste this other chance to enjoy it rather than constantly worrying.

Picking up

Thanks so much for your support, I was really down. I didn't have a good day at all, quite a lot of back pain (can't remember having it with Oliver), and just feeling like this is going to end any minute now. I was alone with Oliver for a few hours, and again I had to lift him and bring him the stairs etc, and I could tell I over did it.

In the evening I had a bit of spotting. Not much at all, and only because my clinical eye scrutinise the toilet paper every time. But this is just too familiar. I re-read my old posts on the ectopic of 2009, had a good cry and just got off the internet and started reading a book.

This morning I tested again of course, I figured if it's over, the line will start to fade and the control will be even stronger. But it has not done so, in fact the control is fading and the difference is quite obvious today. So Deng the Penguin is hanging on. Let's hope to get a glimpse of something on tuesday.

5 weeks

I will have a scan next tuesday at 5w3d at my clinic. The Fav Doctor estimated that by then my HCG should be over 1600 considering a doubling time of 48 hours.

This morning I tested again, the clinic actually suggests you test every week till the viability scan. The line is darker but not as dark as I had at the same time with Oliver. So I am now not feeling that great about this anymore.
You know the way on a FRER the control line tends to fade as the test line becomes so much stronger? Mine is still not that different.

This is the comparison with the exact same test I had with Oliver at 5 weeks.

I just want to curl up in ball. Today it's raining here, perfect day to feel sorry for myself. Maybe I should call the clinic and go for another blood test today? I am in no pain, which is good, maybe it's not ectopic and maybe it's just the pregnancy arresting. I have of course already looked at the library of pics on fertility friends and all of them show the control line fading with respect to the control, so I don't think I have much hope.

13dp5dt (4w4d) and beta

The HPT this morning looked promising, still pregnant and probably more intense, I thought it was at least as intense as the test line (by the time it had dried at least). 

Would it have been enough? I went in to the clinic got the blood test and waited. I would have been happy with 150, better 180 or so. 

I just got the call and the value has gone up to 218!! Isn't it great? Doubling time of 30.4 hours, pretty much in line with the previous result. I am a bit relieved that it looks unlikely to be ectopic at this stage. I still want to go in for an early scan and I left a message with the Fav Doctor to see when she'll be happy to give it a go. I'm hoping she'll chance it for next monday (5w2d). 

HCG summary:

9dp5dt: 25

11dp5dt: 73

13dp5dt: 218

To be honest with you the first value didn't give me much hope, but for now it's looking good, another day in the Personal Penguin life, and he seems to be a right fighter! Don't give up little one, despite my best effort I'm feeling more and more attached to you every day that goes by.

12dp5dt

Today would have been the day my clinic recommends to do and HPT. And just because I do things my way I didn't! I figure I'll do it tomorrow, no point in me worrying for a day if I were to be unhappy with the intensity of the line. So for today I'm free from worrying!

I managed to get myself an awful cold with coughs and sneezes, which trigger bouts of nausea too. Which is somewhat reassuring.

Not much else to update you on, no twinges since yesterday (nice).

Stay tuned!

11dp5dt (beta update)

I have stitches on my right side. It can be just in my head of course, and I do remember I had them with Oliver too, still not a nice thing to feel!

Tested again this morning, I'm sure you are sick and tired of my HPT pics, but I can't help doing all the comparisons between this series and the previous ones! So here it is for your delight, line getting definitely stronger, we'll see if the HCG will follow suit.

I'm going to the clinic shortly, will update when they call me back with the results. It will have to be at least 50. I had 52 with Oliver at 10dp5dt (but even though he was frozen, the embryologist said it looked like he never was and had fully re-expanded before transfer). Today is 11dp5dt maybe it will be ok. Thanks to you all for the kind support in my never straight forward positive cycles!

Beta update
The clinic just called, the number is up to 73! This gives a good doubling time of 31 hours. In fact, as you know I'm paranoid and I would have liked a less fast doubling time. With the ectopics, believe it or not, I never had that erratic increase you read on the internet. My beta were good. Great in fact, doubling time between 27 and 29 hours. With Oliver, the only normal pregnancy I had a doubling time of 37 hours. In any case, I am safe for now, nothing can happen at this gestational age, I'm going in again on wednesday for a 3rd blood draw and take it from there. I am happy, still very very cautious, but happy for now. I want my Personal Penguin!