Sunday, January 5, 2020

A new decade has begun

I was really hoping to write a post to wrap up 2019 but clearly it has not happened... so I'll do it here and now, at the beginning of this new decade. So many posts on facebook have appeared showing all that people went through in the last ten years...mostly families getting bigger. I suppose it was the same for me, the 2000-2009 period saw me getting married for the second time and begin the quest for a family which of course had more downs than up in that time. IVF, two ectopic pregnancies, surgeries, so so much heartache.
Then 2010-2019 has given me two children, three relocations with two job changes and life in three different countries. Significant also has been the steady decline in my relationship with my husband which I am now just accepting as the norm. Maybe this new decade will bring some changes there because I don't feel that old yet that I have to just give up on happiness (for which really there is no age anyway).

I remember my post at the beginning of 2019 was quite loaded with anxiety and expectations, it all went well for me, it has been a great year, specially on the work front. I feel with the move to Switzerland I'm living the dream. I love everything about my job, the new students, the colleagues, the unthinkable options I now have available. I also stopped thinking it was a major amount of luck that brought me here, I know it was not a gift but actually a ton of hard work with very little external help (reading: I had nobody pushing me or my career, ever) and I am very very proud of what I have achieved. The luck has been in meeting exceptionally talented young researchers that worked with me on my ideas, brought in their own, grew as scientists and developed a work ethic which is impeccable. I am so so proud of them and incredibly thankful.

2020 has for me less anxiety to start with (I'm sure I'll get my fair share soon enough), but as no major changes are planned, at least I do not have to elaborate on all possible negative scenarios.

The children are well, have settled in school and we finally are getting some attention for Oliver's behaviour which, while I can safely say it has improved, still is extremely challenging at times. On suggestion of the school, he will soon be tested for giftedness and with that also for ADD. It seems that children can show traits of ADD if giftedness is not spotted on time. If I think about the amount of times we seeks professional help and never got anywhere I feel quite defeated. In fairness the first neuropsychologist in Ireland where we went when he was not even 5, suggested to test him for high intelligence too, but that would have then implied going to special schools and we didn't do it. Here the normal public school he is attending now would have a programme for gifted children every wednesday. Let's see how that goes. He turned 9 on the first of January. He can be such a lovely child, but when he gets into his oppositional mode he is capable of saying unspeakable things which totally push my buttons and never ends well.
Martina is a lovely girly girl, so super caring and thoughtful, she suffers a lot when Oliver is in one of his tantrums, but she is very easy going and forgiving (unlike me clearly).

Mike has not yet found a job, hopefully the new year will bring something for him too, but it is very very tough of course as I would expect he at least used all his free time to engage with the children and build a relationship, but no...he is not that different with them from how his parents must have been with him and this is not working out.

Finally, I still can't seem to get my comments to any of the blogs I read... Heather if you are reading my blog still, please know I must have commented on almost all your posts but it seems that either you don't get the message that there is a new comment to approve or it is just lost in the web.

Hugs to you all and I wish you a great 2020.