I'm in my office. It was still dark when I left the house, raining miserably, children both asleep. I have been awake since 3.30am, Martina woke for her feed and took one hour and fifteen minutes to get her back to sleep. Meanwhile, Oliver also woke and paid us a visit. He had not had enough to eat at dinner (ahh the muffins at 5pm weren't a great idea) and so was hungry. Mike looked after him and relocated to his bedroom at about 5.30. I was still awake though feeling the sleepiness slowly taking over...about 30 minutes before the alarm was due to go off. And then I was up. And everyone still asleep. It's hard thinking I'm not there and Martina will definitely have woken up by now and no morning cuddle with mamma.
I know many of my American friends and working moms would have gone back months ago, I didn't find it this hard with Oliver, but Martina is so much younger.
I will be home by 4pm. Not long.
5 comments:
I feel your pain. I am in America (Northern CA) and with my first child...I was so fortunate to stay home for 9 months with him and then back to work only part time (30 hours a weeK)...I worked for a very good tech company with good benefits, and very liberal (by American standards) maternity policy. I was also able to save up my sabbatical (my co. gave 8 weeks paid sabbatical every 7 years of service) so I was paid most of that 9 months. Going back to work was tough...but my son was already crawling, eating table food, sleeping through the night and had just self weaned from nursing.
Fast forward 2+ years later. My division was sold off to another company and their policies were not liberal...I had to go back to work full time or lose my benefits while I was still pregnant....and then had to return to work just 16 weeks after my daughter was born (it would have been 12...but I had enough vacation time saved up to get that extra four weeks). She was not sleeping through the night, still nursing and was a sickly child already suffereing from ear infections. It was sooo awful. I remember being so very tired, and every night during the week just seemed like a rushed blur. My husband pretty much took over the care of our 2 yr old son while I continued with a very needy 4 month old baby and also tried to keep my house up and laundry somewhat done. It is all such a blur now...I feel like I missed so much. but luckily we managed to get into a bit of a routine and our daycare (creche) was very close to my office so I would go get some lunchtime cuddles when I could. My baibes are now 5 and 3 and we have a pretty good routine....the early days were tough...but we all survived. I will be thinking of you as you find your new groove.....I do hope the nanny works out well and Martina starts giving you more sleep in the night.
kd
Going back to work is always SO hard. I hope the day goes by fast for you and you get to go home and cuddle with your babies (and get some sleep)!
Kd, I want to let you know how much your comments are useful and reassuring. I would love to email you but I can't find a link in your profile, so I hope you read this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
HUGS my friend!! That sounds stressful and hard! I hope it gets a little easier!
Fran....you can reach me anytime at krduchien@gmail.com. Just read your update on your first week.....so happy to hear Martina is getting more sleep and eating well and your first week went smoothly. I am now going through a new phase where my husband travels more so I am doing a lot of the parenting on my own....WOW....a whole new ballgame. But we are managing. Parenthood...it is a constantly changing animal but oh so worth it.
Karaleen
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