18 Months ago, The Dude...

...run away at the age of almost 6 months trough the back french door that opens on the balcony.

Now, almost to the day, 18 months later he run away again. Through the front door. I really think the wild gene in him never left and I could see him always at the window or on the balcony as soon as I had the door open. But this time he run out when I opened the front door 3 days ago and went down the stairs. I put Oliver down and went after him straight away, I knew he as hiding in the bushes but refused to come out no matter how much bribing I was trying. When Mike came home he went looking for him again and no joy. He's not in the bushes any more. We have not seen him since.
The last time we found him (he didn't come back) 2 weeks later, very skinny and with an abscess on his back. This time I somehow don't think we'll find him unless he decides to come back. We are heading towards winter, it's cold and rainy. I just hope he is not going to get injured or sick. He's now much bigger (he's a huge cat) and stronger, but certainly not used to be outside.
So our original set of kitten is now gone. How very sad is that. We have the "replacement" cat with us, maybe that's the way it was always supposed to be, I don't know.

A book and a documentary

Last Saturday I was shopping in a local shopping centre and in one of the book shops I saw a comedian I really like (he would certainly be part of the Secret Celebrity Boyfriend lot) who was signing his newly published book. I din't think about it twice and got myself a signed copy. Of course in my head I had all these possible things I was going to say...needless to say I barely said my name. Yes, I get starstruck a lot.
The book was written after a documentary which aired at the beginning of the year about his father being diagnosed with terminal cancer and how that changed the family dynamics for the better. I finished the book within a few days (I got the flu for the first time in years!) and today I watched the documentary which the comedian just posted on youtube. I have to say I was so so moved by the whole thing I now like him even more. Of course when all this was happening in real life, I just had Oliver and didn't have much time for the telly, but I do remember Mike saying one evening that Des Bishop had put up a show called "My Dad was nearly James Bond" and that his dad came out on stage at the end of it. I recommend you have a look at it, you won't be disappointed!

Settling (baby) and relaxing (mamma)

We are at the end of the week. First week full time in the crèche and after the initial drama the care there has been fantastic. I got to know Wendy a bit more and she's a sweetheart with a very difficult situation at home, I really felt for her. On friday, I had another meeting with the manager. I really like her. Honest, upfront and hands-on. So she told me that a disciplinary action had been taken against both girls on duty on friday. I felt so so sorry for Wendy I tried my best to make sure she knew I thought she was great. And she did know, but could not ignore the infringement to the safety rules and we both hope Wendy will come out strong at the other and of the process. The second girl (Rebecca) was still on probation so her future in there is definitely less certain. The manager apologised on behalf of the girls and offered weekly meetings with me to make sure I had constant updates on how she was handling the situation. But honestly, I really think it was an unfortunate day on friday and I have no doubt Oliver is well cared for, so we left it that I will let her know immediately if I see something I'm unhappy with.

So we survived the first week of the new routine, I'm much happier and relaxed now!

Crèche update!

You girls are gems. And so are all my cyber friends who emailed and commented on the various boards I posted on while panicking like never before....

I slept very little and ate even less over the weekend, worrying sick about the week ahead and the what ifs. I looked up and contacted childminders and nannies just in case.

Yesterday morning we arrived at the crèche early and the manager talked to us immediately. It went quite well. She took full responsibility and was not bullshitting at all which I really appreciated. She said that the fact we had written a formal complaint made her job very easy, she'll get back to us with a full report on her investigation by the end of the week and she will fwd our complaint to the main management due to the severe breach in regulations. She assured us that the safety of our child (and all the children in the creche) is absolutely not a matter of personal attitude, that there are rules and her staff has to follow them. If they don't there are consequences. I felt better I have to say and she aslo said she's going to have Jennifer (a senior carer, the one who minded him for the first two days) in the room for a few days and she's planning to move a different carer into the room anyway as she acknowledge the girls lack motherly attitude towards the babies (they are all young girls).

During the day Mike and I called the creche a couple of times to see how things were going and we got always the manager talking to us first and then she would pass us on to Jennifer who was lovely. We were reassured throughout the day that all was well (of course they also said he was getting upset a bit at times which was totally normal to us and made it sound really genuine). When I picked Oliver up he had eaten all his dinner and slept for 1.5 hours in the afternoon (and was alive!!), he had just got up and was getting his nappy changed. You see, I still have this utter fear that Oliver may die in his sleep at the crèche (or anywhere in fact...I know...I'm working on it) and so for me the fact that they say they are checking on the sleeping babies every few minutes really put me at ease. Unless I of course think they are just saying this and in fact they don't do it at all which is what I thought on friday. But my heart melted at the care I saw yesterday. They asked me if I wanted to stay there and give him the bottle given that it was almost time for his feed. Wendy came up to me and showed me his diary and she was lovely (I know she'd been spoken to already by the manager and worried she may be upset with me, but if she was, she didn't show it at all). So again I completely changed my mind and actually thought it was al in my head on friday...Oliver was absolutely happy there watching the children and wanted to get off my lap to sit on the mat and play. I stayed there probably another half hour and the children were all relaxed and playing. Two of them were actually playing peeckaboo with pillows! They were just over 11 months! It was adorable!

Of course I spoke to the manger (who stayed with me all the time in the room) saying maybe I over-reacted and that the girls were in fact lovely. She said that one of them had been with them for 2.5 years, the feedback on her is always fantastic, but that in any case what happen to us on friday was horrible and not to happen again and that we'll still meet on friday and she'd tell me how it all went. There must have been something going on on friday (this is what I think now) and I was there when this first girl had just gone home and a second one was covering (the one who knew nothing about Oliver's day) so I had the impression of neglect while in all probability was just lack of communications between the girls.

Anyway, last night I slept finally and today I am much more relaxed!

Induction day 2 and 3. Failed hearing test. Meltdown.

I'm in a terrible state. It's going to be a long post.

Thursday started with a re-failed hearing test for Oliver. Ok now I was getting a bit worried. The nurse said they'll make a note for the doctor and she'll check him too in the afternoon. Oliver's second day at the crèche for 2 hours seemed to be much better, when I went picking him up, he was fast asleep (had just fell asleep), apparently had played all morning and Jennifer (sort of room supervisor) was so so caring I felt he was in the best place possible and that he would have settled in no time. The doctor visit in the afternoon was absolutely fine for development, weight and hight, he's well above the 50 percentile and not a bother. But the hearing test was failed for the third time. The doctor was not that thorough, kinda rushed it and said she was writing a referral for a more specialised screening and that in any case it was something very mild. Come again? Are we talking about a mild hearing loss? Maybe. Not sure. Don't worry it's nothing. Seriously?? Don't worry?? Me??? Obviously I do worry, I read a lot since on the fact that the neonatal screening may fail to pick up minor hearing problems, what if my little one can't hear well? We know he can hear us talking, calling him etc, but we'll have to look a bit more into this. As I got home I called the paed office and left a message. He called back this morning and was so so reassuring. The test they did to him was totally archaic, 80% of the children apparently fail it and are referred to a specialist who will do a proper test, check the baby's ears for wax or fluids and generally it's all ok. The doctor didn't even bother looking into his ears but the paediatrician agrees that it's very likely nothing. Probably some fluids, or teething, or a bit of cold, or tiredness, you name it. Anyway, if I'm worried to anticipate our appointment but he really thinks there's no need to do anything.

Breathing a little better.

I brought Oliver back to the creche this afternoon for his final induction. 3 hours. He was fed and had slept plenty in the morning. I got there on time and the first thing I was surprised was to see only one girl in the baby room. There were two babies on the mat and she was writing notes on a spreadsheet. Her name is Wendy and looks like 20 something. I asked her if there were only those two babies or of some were asleep. She said a few were asleep in the cot room but that one wasn't sleeping (we could hear him through the intercom). I asked her was she on her own and she said the other girl was just having her lunch. So..yes you are on your own. Who the hell is checking on the babies in the cot room? They are never supposed to be on their own and they swore to me they are checking on the babies every 5 minutes. I was there for 15 minutes, she was always on her own, and never checked on the babies including the one crying his eyes out. Not good AT ALL. Mike was there too and on our way out we talked to the manager asking for how long the carers can be on their own. She said absolutely never, it's the company policy and she'll look into it straight away, she said they have a system whereby when one is on a lunch break another one covers so that there's always two in the room. So we said maybe one is in fact in the cot room and we didn't see her. The manager also said that Wendy has been with them for 2 and half years and she's very experienced so she was going to have a word. We left it at that. This Wendy doesn't really come across as very well educated (she has a strong accent that generally is lost as you go to school and college), Mike think she's not really coming across very happy or bubbly at all. I'm less bothered by this, yes, she's not funny as such, but she seemed to know what she was doing. Anyway, Wendy told me she is generally off around 4 so there would be another girl when I was going to pick Oliver up. Not a problem. I went back 3 hours later, as it was pissing rain and I was a bit early I just sat in the corridor for a little while. The manager saw me and very warmly she encouraged to go in and that I could watch Oliver in the room from the glass. She buzzed me in. She had no info on whether Oliver had slept/eaten etc but that the girls would have told me everything. And here is where things started going really bad. I arrived to the room and could see Oliver on the floor getting very upset (he had not seen me yet). Two more babies were there. This other carer was holding another baby who seemed just fine and not really paying much attention to Oliver crying (ok...I realise this may be my memory playing tricks now). I put on the covers for the shoes and entered the room. The girl was a bit startled as obviously I had not called the room to announce myself like we generally do and was very quick in saying that Oliver was absolutely fine till two minutes beforehand. Yes right, see if I give a shit about your judgement right now. I picked him up and soothed him quickly. I asked if he had slept and she had no clue. Really?? WTF?? She said he maybe slept for 25 minutes probably around 2. What?? We got there at 2.30! I was totally losing it. I asked can she check his diary and let me know, this is important. She looked at it, couldn't tell me anything else. He didn't eat his tea and he took very little from his bottle. Very strange but sure it's possible he has to settle in...Normally he has a full bottle around 4 pm and now it's 5.30. I gave him the bottle and he drained it in no time. Maybe he was crying because he was hungry?? The thought tortures me. The I saw this girl picking up from the floor (under a couch!) Oliver's little bear-blankety thing he uses to sleep. Now I was very clear that this toy is for his sleep only, not to be used by any other child and not to be given to him when he plays either, how did it end up under the couch I have no idea. She was so so off-putting I was getting more and more irritated. I left the room, sat on a chair outside trying to calm myself down. First of all this other girl was also on her own in the room with 4 babies (the ratio is 1 carer and 3 babies). The second carer only came back in when I was already sitting outside the room. Say maybe after at least 15 minutes. The rage I was feeling I think may be comparable with a mother bear thinking his cub is in danger.

I went to the manager and first thing I asked if she queried about the fact that Wendy was on her own. She said it was because they were expecting us for 2.30 (and I was there at 2.30, not earlier) and that absolutely it'll never happen again. Then I told her about the lack of information provided but this other girl who was there now and of course started welling up. She quickly brought me into the office (surely she didn't wan't other parents seeing me upset) I told her about the bear on the floor, the fact that Oliver was crying and that I really needed strong evidence that this was NOT the norm. That I was having second thoughts and that there was no way I'd be having Oliver in there for a full day monday of next week. She promised me she would look into this and not to worry, she'll talk to me again monday morning, she'll have the girls in the office right away and will discuss with the other manager too.

So this is where I'm at. Oliver seemed absolutely fine, very chilled, as soon as he had his bottle and we were sitting out of the room he was full of smiles for all the children, played at home as always, had his dinner and bath and went to bed without a peep. Sound asleep. So obviously I know he was ok at the crèche but jeez this is not the service I'm expecting for a top class facility which won prizes and everything! On monday Mike will drop Oliver in, but I'll go in too. I feel all this responsibility is on me and I really need him to step up and talk to the managers too.

If you got this far, thank you so much for reading, I had to get it off my chest and hopefully I'll be able to sleep tonight.

Tomorrow Oliver is 9 months old (and 39 weeks exactly...this only confuses me further on the length of a pregnancy...) I can't believe he is so big already.

Induction: day one

I have to admit, I was very emotional this morning! I went into work, had a couple of meetings I really would have avoided like the plague, I was aware I was quite short with my students and then when I reminded my head of department that Oliver had his induction starting today I had to hold back the tears!! He was very very understanding, has two children of his own so no problem of course and wished me all the best.

I got home for lunch. Mom had everything ready (bless her) and Oliver was in great form. He hadn't slept much in the morning though due to a very stubborn delivery guy who attached himself to the bell like it was a lifesaver...anyhow. We got to the crèche at 2.30 as planned and sure enough my little petal had just fallen asleep in the car. So it was a rough hour, I left him there after 20 minutes or so and warned the girls (all lovely) that he was very tired and probably would not have gone to sleep there. When I got back right on the hour he was really upset, crying and all but the girls said he was ok till only a few minutes before. He dove into my arms and of course he fell asleep as soon as he touched the car seat. Needless to say he was already in bed this evening by 7.45.

The crèche is fantastic, the girls specified that they want it to be a "home-away-from-home" and they'll follow our routine to the letter. It works well as they have lunch at the same time as he has it at home so I am sure once he settles with sleeping there it's going to be just perfect. They also are happy to use the reusable nappies (not really common in Ireland, but there's another baby there also with reusable wohoo!!) and they'll bring him to the loo too! They were very impressed with this info and happy to give it a go.

It's going to be another tough day tomorrow for Oliver.

9am the repeat hearing test. Oh yes I meant to say, we had him tested at 2 weeks by the paediatrician and we know the ear-nerves are perfect, so this may have been a fluke due to a cold or fluids in the ear. He only failed I think 3 tunes so hopefully tomorrow he'll pass those too.

10 am we are back in the crèche till 12, he'll definitely has to sleep there or he'll be wrecked by lunch time.

2.45 pm we have another health check with a doctor at the health centre and let's hope it'll be quick and on time or Oliver will miss his sleep in the afternoon too!

I let you know how it goes.

38 weeks

My little darling is 38 weeks today and decided to start celebrating very early this morning...generally when I leave for work at 7.30 is just barely awake and I was looking forward to an extra hour in bed today. Nope. But thankfully my mum came to the rescue and looked after him so that we could sleep a little longer. I don't know what we'll do when she goes back home next saturday and we have to quickly establish a new routine which involves bringing him to the crèche and collecting him in the afternoon. I envisage quite a few pizza nights...

So this coming week is packed with new things we have to do. Wednesday he'll go to the crèche for the first time for one hour, then thursday two hours and friday 3 hours. And Monday next it'll be his first full day. On thursday he also has two health checks, he has to repeat the hearing one that he failed with a nurse in the morning and then a doctor will give him an overall developmental check in the afternoon.

We still have no teeth though he's definitely more in pain in the evening and I found that homeopatic granules called Teetha help him a lot, he certainly has slept soundly all week long (doesn't even wake up when the damn alarm goes off occasionally!)

He's eating everything, loves bread sticks and he's that happiest little man when he sees that you are giving him something from your plate. He clearly says "Mammamamamamma" very loud, generally if he's upset or hungry, he whispers "Papapapapapa" which is very very cute too.

So this is where we are at the moment, work has also settled into a more organised routine now that we are two weeks into term.

I'll update during the week with the progress at the crèche and at the doctors, wish us well!