Friday, August 9, 2013

Sleeping and other routines

We have none with Martina. It's very strange for me, I am not a first time mom, I know routine is good and I do believe in routine. With Oliver we had a routine of some sort from about 6 weeks on. With Martina every day is a surprise. She is definitely using the breast for comfort as well as for feeding, she has to be nursing to fall asleep 90% of the time (the other 9% we are on the move, other in the car or in the ergo, and the 1% miraculously she may fall asleep in her swing), this of course means that I'm the only one who can do it. At night, if she is in her cot (after falling asleep with me somewhere else) she can wake after a couple of hours, nurse for 5-10 min just to fall asleep again, back in her cot and start over. If she is in the bed with us she will go longer stretches, even 4 or 5 hours. I don't mind her being in our bed, in fact I quite like it, but we didn't do it with Oliver thinking it was best for all of us to have our own space and now I think poor Oliver missed out on the best cuddle ever for a baby...Martina wakes up not because she's hungry, before going down for the night I give her a 6oz bottle of hungry baby formula and it's the same as when she is just nursing from me. Because it is so confusing to know when she is hungry from when she is tired (both require nursing) we are all over the place all day long, with very short naps, no long naps at all, feeding a bit only to fall asleep etc. She also caught a chesty cough from Oliver which doesn't help. Now, I don't know what to do, suddenly October seems very close and I'll be going back to work (which strangely this time I don't actually look forward to), shall I impose a routine? She seems so frightened when I let her cry a bit to see if she falls asleep in her bed and clings on to me for dear life when I pick her up, it breaks my heart!! The only book I have on babies from the last time, which I didn't buy but was given to me, is the Gina Ford one and to be honest I find it hard to believe that at 3 and half month you should let a baby cry when it's obvious they need you. Maybe I should read the Baby Whisperer? My bible book for toddlers actually says that babies must be followed in their lead up to even 9 month as any form of training before hand is too much for most of them and every baby is different.

Now, on Oliver's bed time routine which was back to Hell, we enforced a bit of tough love and we are back on track, he is now asleep by 9 most of the time and sleeps till 7.30 which is huge! We had got to the point where he would not sleep till 10.30 (crying the house down) and up before 7 with no naps during the day. It was awful. Of course he was tired and it was a vicious cycle which was triggering tantrums during the day like they were going out of fashion. Even tantrums seems a bit more contained though occasionally we have to threaten him with a slap (and this is sufficient to at least make him stop shouting), I know, not best educational method but we all have to survive in a very sleep deprived household...

And finally I'm back to feeling well, the final results were of a sub-acute UTI, probably caused by dehydration which I promptly tackled with forcing myself to drink plenty. No more nausea thankfully and I no longer think those awful thoughts.


  1. Yay for feeling better!! I am so happy for you!

    As for sleeping, every baby is different and has different needs. We read the Baby Whisperer and liked parts of it. We used some of her techniques. But, I don't have any great wisdom to pass on, and I'm sorry! I know you'll find your own way!

  2. Well, I could have written this post! We are still trying to get a routine with Alice too. And she too needs to nurse to sleep UNLESS I am wearing her in a woven wrap. Then she'll sleep for hours.much better than the ergo/becco. Have you tried a woven wrap? I think it makes them feel more secure and womb-like for them. And I hear you on the toddler stuff. Ugh. Those darn bedtime routines!

    Glad you are feeling better

  3. Very nice picture! :-)

    As for routines, as long as there is some sort of structure in your day, I would say to not fuss about it. When you go back to work, she will go to the crèche, and children have a different reaction to minders others thn parents, so why stress? Martina will have another schedule, environment, stimulation, so do what works for you now, and then, when you get to that bridge of going back to work, you will cross it then.

  4. That picture is gorgeous.

    I am glad you are feeling better.

    Co-sleeping has its flips and hits. Why I mention it here is because you sent Olive to the crib, while Martina seems to hang out more on your bed. Figlia never went to the crib. The good point was that we were able to inch out more sleep that way. The flip was that Figlia woke up in the night to feed, more for security and re-assurance rather than just hunger. This pattern has persisted.

    When you go back to work full time, Martina will go to the same daycare as Oliver, right? Her schedule will change on its own, so you really do not have much to do right now schedule wise. If you can level out Oliver's schedule, and reasonably manage with what Martina is doing, then life will be more manageable.

  5. Glad you're feeling better and that the nasty thoughts are no longer present.

    LOVE the family pic! LOVE LOVE LOVE!



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