Phoenix

I thought that if Deng survives we really owe him a much better and more powerful name. So it will be Phoenix, like the mythological creature that is reborn from his ashes. I have actually started calling him Phoenix already. You know, just in case he's still there.

I wanted to thank you all for your support and comments, honestly, I really believe there is a much greater chance that Phoenix will not make it, all the literature points in that direction, bar a few cases, and I think what is even worse is that in all performed studies, once you have a slow hb at 7 weeks, even if it gets normal by 8 weeks, the chances of first trimester demise is still significantly higher than if you have a normal hb at 7 weeks. Plus as I said, this correlates with a higher chances of chromosomal abnormality. Which means that even if next week Phoenix has caught up with growth and hb, we are by no means out of the woods. If I have to be honest, I don't know what to wish for myself.

Today I started pondering what will happen. Say we do get to next tuesday with no bleeding. Say we get the "I'm sorry" speech. What happens next? Will have to do a D&C? Would it be better to wait? Still at this stage it would be quite a bit of bleeding I imagine, can something bad happen, like can I collapse? And what do you do with the embryo itself? I'm sorry for the gory questions, I suppose this is me being a scientist and dealing with the situation... If I do a D&C I think everything will go back to normal a bit quicker, I still would want to fully detox from the meds I'm on before going for another FET anyhow so I'm in no major rush, but still. I have read it can be weeks before it happens naturally if you wait. Not sure I want to go down that road (you know, I have things to do, places to be...).

Any advice would be very welcome I know many of my cyber friends are sadly very familiar with losses.

And it's just to be prepared. Just in case Phoenix will not surprise us (but he might!).

Sister and other news

Finally my sister has come over to visit!


I'm in fact blogging from her Mac which I hardly know how to use (I'm an hard-core pc user and she's now trying to convert me!).

Everything is going well thankfully, I'll have to back to the hospital for another blod test on monday and I decided to take the day off to spend some quality time with my sister in town.

Work is quite busy and that's the way I like it really! So next week I have a day trip to Manchester, then I've been nominated to be a partecipant on a specific European grant programme which may mean I'll be making a few trips to Brussels and I can't wait! I think my sister may come along too and meet me in central Europe if I really get to go there.

And I have contacted the Miscarriage association and it was a good move. The lady I spoke to (June) sent me their information material and also gave me the contact details of another girl who really wants to set up an Ectopic Pregnancy support unit! I'm calling her this weekend and we'll see how we get on. One thing I find really nice about this association is their logo: it's a tree from which a leaf is falling off. It's really sweet and meaningful. June sent me two pins. Not sure where I'll put them yet but I'll wear them for sure. She also invited me to the special service they hold every year in remebrance of the lost children in November. 

I think I'll go.