How it is going at home

Certainly having a toddler also makes a significant difference....Mike is great and is definitely in charge of Oliver, and my mom keeps us fed and allows us that bit more rest, but I am tired. More than I remember being with Oliver. I suppose the major news is that I manage to breastfeed Martina almost all the time, which means we have absolutely no schedule...how did I manage? Well, I found these nipple shields that totally do the trick even though they should be used as a temporary solutions...at the moment Martina doesn't latch on at all without them, no matter what I try, so it'll have to do for now. Still I don't know if she's feeding enough as she is waking up very often and at night she takes a couple of bottles too (we need to survive too!). I'm delighted that our milk of choice (Hipp organic) is also doing a new-born version which wasn't available when Oliver was born. Mind you, I'm not obsessing about breastfeeding this time, I actually don't find it particularly rewarding, I don't have all those marvellous sensations people talk about, but I don believe whatever I can give her will do her good.

Martina is a very sweet baby, she requires quite a lot of physical contact which I don't remember being the cas with Oliver, she needs to be held tight to fall asleep, and she loves being beside me in the bed. We don't co-sleep though, I put her in the crib once she's asleep, though at night the temptation of just staying under the duvet with her is huge.
Oliver seems to have adjusted very well, his toilet training is perfect, we have no accidents and we have seen no regression. He is a bit more whining but he is also a two year old!

I'm posting here avery cute pic of Martina taken the other day when we were about to go out the other day, she is adorable in our eyes!

Emotionally I'm doing much better also, no major crying (of mine!) and settling into the new routine is getting easier, though not perfect just yet. I also don't have this time the claustrophobic feeling of being at home with a newborn and no interaction with the adult/working world, in fact I'm quite content to be at home with Martina and I'm loving our time together.

We have also booked our first trip to Italy for June, after my 6 week check with Dr. W (scheduled for the 7th of June) and ouch it's expensive to fly a family of four!! First reality check and serious evaluation when thinking of baby number three...

Better go now as the little one is hungry (again!)

39 weeks and the last belly pic!

Wow things are happening. Yesterday OB visit was good in so far as placenta, baby size, heartbeat, blood-flow in the cord, fluids etc. Then the internal check verdict was that my cervix has no intention of cooperating and is shut, long and posterior. Thanks cervix! So we have a scheduled c-section for....drum roll please....tuesday!! I'll go in early in the morning and then depending on emergencies and theatre availability I'll meet Phoenix sometime during the day... I'm excited, a bit worried about Oliver's reaction, sad that these are my very last days of ever being pregnant (at least I enjoyed it this time!) and happy it's not looking like there's going to be a panic like we had when Oliver arrived. I just took what I think it's going to be the last belly pic ever...

In keep with our style, we have no name selected, we think we are going to use Phoenix as a third name like we used Elvis for Oliver (surely Phoenix is suitable for both boys and girls, right?) and I have no idea as to whether it's going to be a boy or a girl. It'll be a total surprise!

My mam is arriving in a few hours, it will be lovely to have her over and I have no doubt she will be great help. 

Oliver has started waking up quite early in the morning recently (say before 6am) and then shows up to our bed and comes in for a cuddle...if we are lucky he sleeps a bit more, but normally not. For the last few nights he also woke up crying around 1am. I'm not sure what to think other than he's sensing something is going on and he is a bit distressed by it. We got presents "from the baby" to him, apparently there are mixed feelings out there as to what is the best thing to do to try and minimise the jealousy...some say it's the bigger child who should have a present for the baby not the other way around. We'll have a present from Oliver to baby too just to be on the safe side...but to be honest I think it will make very little difference. At the moment Oliver is very fascinated by babies and loves watching youtube clips, but when we will have one here to stay I'm not sure he'll be so happy!

In any case, I hope I will be able to update on tuesday or at least Mike may do it, positive thoughts that all will be well are much appreciated!

OB visit, 38 weeks and a plan!

Another week has passed with nothing much to report and yesterday I had another check with the doctor. Everything looks still good and Phoenix is growing which is great news. Dr. W has guessed a weight of about 3kg should he be born in the next few days. He'll see me again next friday (if nothing happens before then) and then we have to make some decisions. He suggested to give me an internal and we can have an idea about the cervix. If it's favourable, soft, maybe a bit dilated already, short etc, he could break my waters and hope for labour to start. If not then it'll be a c-section. If the cervix is unfavourable then there is no point in trying anything to bring along spontaneous labour and we'll just plan a c-section. So here we are, not long till we meet Phoenix! Very exciting yet seems so unreal still...
Today I'm 38 weeks and feeling well, but definitely I'm also feeling the weight! I seem to be sleeping a bit better which is great and the nose is also behaving not giving me much trouble. I have officially finished work on friday but to be honest the idea of being home alone is not that appealing to me...Mike works in the same college as me, so I think I'll go in with him and hang around the office...at least I will be among people! I am very happy as I managed to do all the things I wanted to do before the baby came so there is nothing pressing that could cause stress.

In other news, we got yet another terrible news in Mike's family. One of his cousins, 32 year old girl, got diagnosed with lung and liver cancer...I found this absolutely shocking and terrifying, she never smoked, is a lawyer and very healthy overall. We don't know much details, but she will be starting chemo on monday. I read a bit about lung cancer and was very surprised to read that while 80% of that type of cancer is smoke related, 20% isn't smoke related and very common in young, otherwise healthy females... it apparently kills more that ovarian and breast cancers combined. Mike is going to visit her this weekend (she is in a hospital in our city) but the prognosis is not good as far as I can tell. And then of course I got frightened by the fact that I have also had this odd cough for months now which I blamed on the continuous colds Oliver brought home and awful weather. It is much better now but my hypochondria has undoubtedly kicked in. Anyway, if you can spare a thought for this young girl it will be much appreciated.

37 weeks, new record!

I'm 37 weeks today, and I'm one day over the length of Oliver's pregnancy! At the appointment yesterday Dr. W took a first measure of the abdominal circumference, and didn't look too good, I think it was measuring something just short of 35 weeks...he commented on the fact that like the last time this baby is smallish but kept going on to look at the spine, at the fluids (which look still good) and the placenta which is a smooth as a peach this time around! We got to see Phoenix practicing breathing (I had forgotten they do this) and Dr. W said it was a very healthy sign. Then went back to the baby's belly and said this was a better angle for measuring it and gave it another go. The circle expanded and expanded to measure over 36 weeks!! Dr. W was absolutely delighted, said "I think this baby is actually bigger than we think s/he is!" and so was very happy to give me an appointment in a week time. He would like to give Nature a chance to do her job and let me go into labour spontaneously, but doesn't want to risk anything either, hence the close monitoring. I asked him how far in advance do we have to decide if we want to schedule a C-section (we still won't exceed 40 weeks gestation even if all is well) and he said no time at all, that we could decide to do it tomorrow or in case of need we could have walked across the corridor and do it there and then! So we have no date yet but I'm really pleased for now all looks as it should be. With Oliver I had gone into the hospital as I thought my waters were leaking, but then it wasn't ever clear if it was the case or not given that IUGR had set in and nobody cared about the waters. I now think I really was leaking because this time I definitely don't feel that wet and it's more normal discharge.

In Oliver news, the potty training at home is a great success I have to say, we may have the odd accident if he's distracted looking at a book or at Peppa Pig in tv, but in the creche is a different story. The first day it was super, only minor accidents due to the fact that he didn't seat properly on the toilet (he wanted to do it by himself!) and so he wetted his pants a bit, but from the second day onwards it was a disaster, there was an average of 4 accidents a day! The carers are great, kept saying it's very normal, not too many children are toilet trained in that room and so maybe Oliver isn't too bothered yet but he will get better. They don't want him back in nappies. On friday it was a better day, Rebecca (one of the girls) brought him to the toilet often, he peed a couple of times in the toilet and had still a few accidents. When we picked him up we actually witnessed about 3 accidents in the space of 15 minutes!! Here how it goes: he wets himself a bit, you bring him to the toilet, he says "Finished!!" you put new pants on and by the time you pull them up he pees a bit more! Mike was doing all the changing, we picked him up early after the OB visit and wanted to go for an ice-cream, till at one point I took over and told Oliver to sit on the loo and let me hear the noise the pee makes...and so he did!! Last pair of dry pants went on and we managed to have our ice-cream and get home without further accidents! Today was a breeze (so far anyway) but we prompt him very often and I don't take no for an answer. That's all folks for now, I leave you with a new belly pic, does it look to you the belly has dropped a bit since last week? I had a couple of days with strong back pain and a million BHs...

Ticking along: OB visit

Phoenix is still growing! All looks good, fluids, placenta, blood-flow through the cord and the little belly is two weeks fatter than two weeks ago! The head was not measured this time but to me it looked pretty much the same circumference as the belly which I take it's as it should be.

Dr. W is really thorough and measured the baby 3 times, he will see me again on the 5th of April and the plan for now is to keep a very close eye on growth and see how it all progresses. If nothing happens by the due date, he has suggested a planned c-section so that I'm not going overdue and I agree, there is no point in chancing our luck. He said also my chance of the waters going early is about 15% which sounds pretty low to me but who knows! He then said that should the growth slow down then we have to intervene sooner but in total safety for the baby. 35 weeks is already a very good place to be in and he feels we are good to go anytime.

Sooo I feel better, keeping an eye on baby movements and try to cope the best I can with the sea-sickness sensation I get mostly after breakfast...
The first day of the students being back went well, very busy for me but once this week is over I have very little left to do.

In other news, last night I got a skype call from the Ultimate Vet Hero!! So nice to talk to her and of course I could see the lovely sunshine of Cali which made me really longing for the holidays we had last summer...I'm going to make a real effort to be able to spend a few months there if I can get some sort of sabbatical once i'm back from maternity leave!

OB 31 weeks update

All is well with the little bundle of joy! Growing steadily (though not a huge baby and as always a week or so behind when checking AC), excellent fluids levels, placenta very good looking and Phoenix managed a few kicks while under the scanner! S/he is head down and with the shins on my right side, not very pleasant! Next appointment in two weeks and it will be interesting to see how Phoenix performs as we approach 34 weeks as it was at that stage that Oliver growth arrested.

In other news I have decided to start a course in mindfulness, any of you has experience in this? I will start this Thursday and see how it goes, I love the idea of a meditation technique which will have me focussed on the present and help me not to worry about the future. I will let you know how it goes! I am not doing antenatal classes or yoga, you might remember the crazy antenatal yoga teacher I found the last time...but I need something to keep me grounded.

Still on pregnancy news, I have this CONSTANT blocked/stuffed nose which I don't remember from the first time around. I read up on this and it happens in the 30% of pregnancies...I swear I have a toilet paper roll in my office as it's cheaper than buying a ton of Kleenex. Anyone has suggestions as to what could help clearing this disgusting phlegm that has now been awarded citizenship in my throat/nose?

Oh and here's a belly pix from right now!

29 weeks (-1!) OB appointment

Happy to report that Phoenix is growing nicely and all looks perfect! I quickly looked at the dates appearing as Dr. W. was taking the head circumference and the abdominal one and both were in around 28 weeks which is completely within error and more importantly much bigger than the last time.
Dr. W mentioned again VBAC to which I'm completely open and of course we will keep a close eye on growth, fluids and placenta (so far all perfect) just in case we have to intervene a bit sooner.
My next appointment is in 2 weeks time!

Major progress on the house front too: next thursday the big boy bedroom is going to be fitted, we have the room painted and curtains are up! We have not really worked at selling our two futons currently in the room but ah well, we'll move them in the attic for now. Then on the same day we are also having an electrician doing a few modifications in preparation of the counter-top extension in kitchen (and added units), and some other bits and pieces. The kitchen people are on the move to assemble our cabinets and Mike was fantastic at sourcing a granite top that is very very similar to the one we have. This should all be ready in 2-3 weeks! Will of course post pics of before and after.

Oliver is well, we have canines coming through at the top but he's been doing very well (no molars yet). Sleeping is good and when the new bedroom arrives we'll give another go at sleeping without sides.

I'm half way through my teaching and it feels great, I can see the end!

On a sad news, Mike's first cousin died suddenly and we have the funeral on saturday...I never met him (I think) but I know I'll be very very emotional at seeing the grief of his parents and family. Mike's aunt from the States flew in this morning, and she was so so close to them it's going to be heartbreaking. We don't quite know what happened yet, if it was a stroke or a heart attack or a true accident (he fell in the bathroom) but as he was only a few years older than Mike it is really shocking.

Ok, better leave it at that for now, thank you for your continuous support and gentle hugs!

26w2d OB visit

Very quick update to say that the visit yesterday went well. Dr. W was very happy to hear everything had settled and like I thought he measured Phoenix AC to start tracking his growth. At the moment he's a bit skinny (measuring a good few days behind for AC) but there is absolutely no concern. In fact it's only because I read it on the screen that I know he was 25w3d I think, the doctor said nothing at all! He's head down, all looks good and hopefully we'll have a few more weeks of incubation! Next appointment in 3 weeks.

I started telling Oliver that "Mamma has a baby in her belly" so he says there is a baby in mamma's belly. And then he adds "O'ver belly baby too!" in a mix of Italian-English! I really don't think he knows we are going to have another being in the house at some point, but we'll see.
We have stopped for the moment the transition to the bed with no side, he's obviously not ready yet. We'll give it a couple of weeks, maybe see how he takes to the new room and try again. He was not ready.

I started lecturing yesterday and so far so good, but the very early mornings (to be able to get parking on campus!) are hard! Of course yesterday I woke up and it was snowing...first snow this winter and the usual chaos. Not much on the roads at all, but people here have no clue. Today no more snow, but what melted yesterday froze overnight, so another set of difficulties on the road. Anyway, I'm ploughing ahead!

OB visit yesterday

Yesterday I had my scheduled appointment with Dr. W and the first thing he said when he saw me was "Soooo I hear you were worried about the fluids the last time..." ops...the secretary obviously told him about my phone call! He was very nice about it of course but did state that he would always share any concern even minimal about the pregnancy even if that may cause me anxiety. I know this is the same thing his secretary said, but it was even more reassuring hearing it from the horse's mouth!
He gave me a quick scan, where he showed me the fluids (plenty!) and how everything look just right. I told him that occasionally I feel like a lump on the surface of the uterus, beside my belly button, and I wondered if if was the fibroid they had seen during the surgery for my second ectopic. I don't remember feeling it with Oliver. I wasn't particularly concerned, just curious and in fact there is was, a nice round fibroid, completely external and not problematic at all.
I had two more questions which I didn't dare asking....one was about the heart rate (I actually have stopped checking it) and the fact that it was so much slower than Oliver's at the same gest age. I suspected he would have had me committed for excessive paranoia....and the other was about checking my thyroid levels...I had at some point, a good few years ago, a mildly under-acting thyroid, which was just monitored and was fine since. I had it checked about half way through the first pregnancy and it was fine. But who knows how it is now...and of course I read somewhere that there may be a connection between hypothyroidism and low fetal  heart rate! Ah well...I decided  to leave it be. I may do it when I'm going home during the holidays.
My next appointment is in 4 weeks, and he said we'll be talking about VBAC or planned C-section then. I am completely open and trust his opinion without reservation, as I had a previous C-section, he said induction is not an option so, should I be overdue or in need of an earlier delivery it'll have to be a C-section, but otherwise we can see about a vaginal delivery! It sounds still so far away, I'm not really thinking about it yet.

Another good news I got yesterday is that my new car will arrive in Ireland on the 6th of January! Wohooo! Can't wait now! And we have ordered the big boy(s) bedroom which will arrive at the end of January...so we have to repaint and try to sell our two double-futon beds that are currently there. Lots to do and lots of excitement!
I'll post a few pics of Oliver in the next few days, he doesn't really have the concept of Christmas but he loves the Christmas trees...

17w2d OB appointment

It was actually yesterday, but I was so so tired when I got home I went to bed at 8.30!
The visit went well, my blood tests came back just fine, my urine is perfect and so is my blood pressure, I put on 2kg on his scale since the first visit 5 weeks before. I think it's good. I had heard Phoenix's heartbeat the night before so I was quite confident the baby would still be alive, but you know...the list of worries is endless, so I was still quite nervous.
And the scan was nice, Phoenix is so much bigger, we don't have measures but he really looked much more baby like, proportioned and all. Good HB also at 133bpm which is very similar to what i get at home by counting and looking at a clock... I am now certain that what I thought was movements is in fact movements. They are ever so light and completely occasional, I may feel them twice a day, just a light tap, but it so happened that I felt one while I was being scanned and so I saw  it on the screen just a second after I felt it (there is a slight delay in the ultrasound image with respect to realtime). We saw the baby moving, opening and closing his mouth, moving the legs and arms etc, all you want to see. I am really convinced he's a boy. But one thing I saw immediately was that it looked like the baby was already filling up all the space available...or there didn't seem to be much fluid in there. And for some weird reason I DIDN'T ASK. Now, Mike did say something like "It looks very crowded in there" to which the Dr. W answered "And yet you won't believe how much they can still stretch and grow". I asked about the placenta which was perfectly healthy. He said everything looked just fine, we got a couple of pics and we were on our way. We are already booked in for the high level scan at 20 weeks on the 12th of December, and I'm going back to the OB a week later.

And then I went home and started worrying about the little fluids and cursing myself for not having asked. How did I not asked is beyond me...I saw it, I immediately thought of it and worried and yet...maybe I was focussing more to see if everything in the baby looked normal to me that I just didn't ask...
So after a night of tossing and turning, googling all the googleable (never a good idea), this morning I called the secretary to see if she could pass on to the doctor my concern...I felt really stupid of course as I was just there, but she was lovely. She said that Dr. W is a very upfront person, if he had any concern at all he would have shared it with us, he would have brought me straight in for a higher level scan. If he said everything looked normal, he definitely meant it. She added "He is a very experienced ultrasound operator" which I of course knew. So I now feel reassured, but I decided to definitely monitor my water intake (I tend to get lazy...) and want to make my 2 L a day at least. Can't do any harm anyway, even if everything is just fine. And here's little Phoenix!

The OB meets Phoenix

I had the most reassuring visit with the OB today. Dr. Wonderful was as lovely as I remembered. We had the usual chit chat on my history but he had all my files on the previous pregnancy and from the hospital so it was quick. Then I showed him our NT results, he thought they were actually quite good. He said the major factor in the risk calculation is still given by my age (more than the NT measurements and the bloods), so it would have been impossible to have stats as good as with Oliver. He thinks that for my age our numbers are good but still wrote down the risk and made a note for the 20 weeks scan. I mentioned before he is a experienced ultrasound operator, he scanned a cyber friend of mine from a local board to rule out her foetus for retinoblastoma, this is something so difficult to do in utero, actually people travel from afar to have his opinion. He said T13 can definitely be diagnosed by ultrasound, T18 is very likely to have markers also (even though not always) and T21 occasionally can be diagnosed in utero but not so often. I asked him if he would recommend an amnio. He said he personally wouldn't but it's our decision. In his opinion our numbers are good and much better than the chance of miscarriage the amnio has. Is it worth it? So I trust him and we'll wait and see. I mentioned my concerns about the low PAPP-A, once again he was so knowledgeable I felt really reassured. Again he made a note of it for closer monitoring on baby's growth, but said the association between low PAPP-A and issues is quite minimal, maybe a 5% of pregnancy with low PAPP-A has then some problems but most of the pregnancies are absolutely fine. Then he gave me a quick scan and Phoenix looked bigger and we listen briefly to the HB which sounded strong and regular. Dr. W commented also on how thin the nuchal fold looked and how everything looked perfectly normal and healthy. I also got my bloods done already, so the results will be there for the next time.
My next apt is in 5 weeks, I have re-read my blog posts on how poorly I coped with the waiting the last time, somehow I hope this time I'll be better! I also already have the doppler at home so in a week or so I'll give it a go to reassure myself!
I have not said anything in work yet, may just wait another couple of weeks to be out of the first trimester before sharing. Also, I have not taken one single belly shot yet...not good! Poor Phoenix, already been treated differently!

The ultrasound

Things are progressing well! I went in for my follow up scan this morning (6w3d) half doubting that we would see much, we are at that borderline time with Deng being a frozen Penguin and all, that 6w3d could actually be 6 weeks only. In any case, the Fav Doc did the scan, things were definitely bigger and we could see the yolk sac and the little tadpole. She said "can you see the flicker?" mmhh not really. "Here it is!" and sure enough I could see a little flicker. She said her machine would not pick it up yet, but she measured the CRL which put the little one at 6w1d (perfectly within error) and she was delighted. I also found out that the Fav Doc runs now an early pregnancy clinic on tuesdays at my clinic, so she'll be happy to see me every week if I want to. And of course I do! I'll go back next week for a proper viability scan.
She also recommended getting in touch with the OB I want for the pregnancy. I thought it was a bit too soon, but she said it's no harm in getting in. The doctor that followed Oliver's pregnancy is actually retiring, so he's not taking on any more patients. My other excellent option was to go with the doctor that delivered Oliver and that I had named Dr. Wonderful. I called his secretary and the fact that I was a private patient with his colleague and then he delivered my first baby gave me a priority boarding pass. So we are on. First appointment on the 15th of October (Jeez...will I get that far?) I feel I'm rushing things a bit, but in the spirit of not waiting for the other shoe to fall, I'm just going to go with the flow.

This is today pic of Deng (surely we have to find a better name for this Penguin...)

And also just to remark that the intensity or fading of the control line on a FRER means nothing at all! 

An answer of some kind

Yesterday I called my OB's office to see if he received the histology report on my placenta as I hand't heard back from him. The secretary said not all results were in but that Dr. L would check with the lab and let me know. By dinner time he hadn't called and I figured he would call today instead. But he did call! Around 9.30pm! Isn't he a great doctor? Anyway, he said that there was nothing particularly outstanding in the report, no blood clots and no calcifications. Mmhh. That kind of ruled out our/mine main causes for IUGR and diminished fluids...but he did say that there were signs of inflammation which would be explainable if the waters had in fact started leaking a few days earlier (inflammation is the first response to infection or irritation, I had no fever, waters were clear so I don't think I had an infection). If anyone knows more on this please let me know, there's only so much you can find on Google and being at home I have no access to medical literature!

He said that in my next pregnancy they will monitor more closely the blood flow to the placenta throughout the third trimester so that if there's a sign of deterioration it'll be picked up quickly. I have to say though that it's not like my placenta wasn't checked, I had a scan less than 3 weeks before things looked suddenly serious, and at that time everything was as good as it could be, including fluid levels so I guess it was just one of those (scary) things.

Oh, and I may have said to soon I was done with the bleeding....grrr had some more spotting!!

Next week I'll pop into my clinic and see if I could talk to my Fav Doctor, I wonder if I had inflammation of the membranes if it's better to have a hysteroscopy before going again, just to make sure all is good to go...you know, I'm prone to things going awfully wrong if my uterus isn't in perfect conditions!

6 weeks check ups!

Little Oliver is 6 weeks today and doing great!

We both went for our check up on thursday. Dr. L was very happy to see me and said my scar has healed perfectly. He didn't have the histology report on my placenta which may have been sent to Dr. Wonderful so he'll trace it back and call me next week. We chatted a bit about why the placenta may have stopped working, but till we can see the lab results it's just a guessing work. So we'll wait. He said that if there were some clots formed we may considerer taking aspirin all the way through the next pregnancy and have closer monitoring (which is just music to my ears...I'm addicted to hospitals and doctors I discovered!) with doppler scan done routinely (although I am quite sure the blood flow in the umbilical artery was ok till the very end...but maybe not the flow from me to the placenta, I don't know). Anyway....did you see me talking already bout the next pregnancy??

Sooooo it was in fact Dr. L who brought this up asking if we were thinking of doing IVF again to give Oliver a little sibling. I said we were but we didn't know time-wise if there were restrictions due to the c-section. You read loads of different opinions, some say you have to wait a year before conceiving again, other 18 months...so as I'm not getting any younger and we don't have any frozen embryos left I was a bit concerned I'd simply sun out of time.

Amazingly he said that in fact you read all of the above, but that the scar in the uterus doesn't change any more after 3 months from the surgery and that at that point it is as good as it's ever going to be. So the recommended amount of time between two pregnancies is not related at all to the type of delivery, just mostly to when someone is ready to go again. This was absolutely fantastic to hear. I think I realised that I would like to have another baby, to enjoy the pregnancy this time but I also want to give Oliver all the attention he deserves. As we will never have an accidental pregnancy I wonder if we could go for a cycle this summer and just freeze the embryos for the future. I know it's a gamble and I'll probably be worried about the fact that when we do the transfer, say in a year to 18 months from now they either don't survive or it's a BFN I'll be even older for more treatments then...Anyway, we'll think about it and it's nice to know that the guidelines here are suiting me just better!

Next Oliver went for his check up and passed with flying colours. His muscular tone is right on track and so is his weight and head control. I asked about the dirty nappies (I thought they were improving but not really) and the doctor thinks that as he never had any temperature or any other kind of discomfort it's probably not a virus at all at this point but just his body struggling a bit to process all the lactose he's taking in. He had a point when he said we'd be having diarrhoea too if we were drinking 9-10 litres of milk a day in proportion to our body weight! So we'll try a different formula with lower lactose content and see how it goes.

I had forgot to mention in my last post that I went to the clinic with Oliver last tuesday! Of course I called ahead to see when was the best time to drop by when no patients would have been around. I'd been there to long not to know how painful it is to see other people's babies even if they have gone through IF. You can hear the evil voice in your head saying you may just fall at the other side of the statistics...

It was so emotional being there again, but in a good way. Everyone wanted to hold Oliver and I took a pic of the Favourite Doctor with him!

Again, I felt the comfort of being there, the familiarity of the place and the people that made our miracle a reality for us and never gave up on hope. It's as if I miss it all. Of course they all look forward to seeing me soon again! They also told me that they are moving location in the next two months as they have outgrown the facilities there. Shock! I won't be going back to the same place which was so so convenient as it was just on the way to work...so it was great to hear the new building is even more conveniently located for us, maybe it's a sign we won't have so much heartbreak the next time!

Finally yesterday I brought Oliver into work and had great (social) time with colleagues at lunch and coffee (ah!! the coffee!! It was ages I din't have a *bucks Caramel Macchiato!). I really do miss adult interaction...

Almost a smile! 5 week old

I really think this morning Oliver smiled at me! I gave him the night feed and then Mike this morning got up and fed him so that I could sleep in, and then when I got up and saw Oliver he almost smiled seeing me!! So so cute!

Anyhow, all is good here, Oliver still has a good few dirty nappies during the day but doesn't seem to be too bothered. He's awake for much longer periods (which freaks Mike out as he doesn't know what to do with him yet!) and still very happy and sweet. Now that I'm home alone all day I do feel quite tired by the time is evening and Mike is still learning how to put on the reusable nappies...so not really able to be on his own with Oliver for a few hours yet. Sure if he was spending more time maybe his confidence would also improve...we re working on it.

My mom as already booked a new flight to come and stay with us for another couple of weeks, I never thought I'd be feeling this way but I can't wait to have some company and help. I have come to totally admire those mothers who have twins and are on their own. Hats off to you all girls, I have no idea how you managed!

A bit happening next week. I have my 6 weeks check up on thursday and I'll try to book Oliver's check up on the same day. Mike on the other hand is playing football...ah well. I'll also go to the clinic probably monday or tuesday so that the Favourite Doctor can meet the little man and I may ask incidentally when can we talk again about things and future moves...

Breast feeding or expressing has officially stopped. So another thing I'll do next week is to return the pump. I'm glad I tried. I am even gladder I stopped when I realised it was ruining my time with Oliver. So on with the bottles! And here's a pic of my little boy for you all.

The little aviator sleeping

Weight check

We are 2 and half weeks into parenthood and I cannot remember life without Oliver.

It finally feels real. It only sunk in over the weekend. I happened to look at the clock on Saturday at 4.15pm and thinking we were in the middle of the drama only 2 weeks before...I made a conscious effort of reliving (willingly) all that happened repeating to myself all was well in the end. I think it helped a lot. I looked at Oliver staring back at me and realised he IS my son. Saying it (or writing it) still is a little strange, like when I started referring to Mike as my husband.

All is well with him, he's definitely very alert, feeds very well (on formula, I am still only able to use my expressed milk as a top up of the formula!) and his weight check today at 2w3d was 2.98kg! He put on 300gr in 5 days! That's my boy! My weight check, on the other hand, a week after birth was 66kg (6 gone, 9 to go!) and 2 weeks after birth it was 65 kg (7 gone 8 to go!), let's hope it'll be declining as steadily as I put it on!

Sleep is also quite good, he would feed around 1am or 2am and then again at 5am or 6am and we both go back to sleep afterwards. We also bathed him a few times already, he loves it!! What he doesn't like is coming out of the water in the cold (we wrap him immediately but still) or getting undressed to get into the water...ah well...hopefully that'll settle too.

Breastfeeding is still a total failure. Oliver doesn't latch on at all, he may make an effort if I wear those nipple shields but not sure if he takes much. Pumping is...going. I can't say it's going well, but it's going. I've started taking fenugreek which definitely helps and my yield has gone up a bit, I managed to get the amazing mount of 60mL (2oz) yesterday in the whole day! That's twice what I was getting a couple of days ago. At this pace, Oliver will be on solids by the time I'll be able to produce one full feed for him...But again, at least he's taking some.

I also wanted to share the advice that the paediatrician had give me which is much the opposite of what all lactation specialists/website would recommend. She said when milk supply never really came in, that it's a bit pointless to pump every couple of hours as I'm only ever going to get drops and may even hurt myself. She said to allow time at least at the beginning say do it twice a day and see how it goes. I have to say, the first time I did this I collected as much I had got in the whole day the previous day! What a satisfaction! Yesterday then I pumped twice with good yields both times. I'm planning to do the same and see how it goes. Then move up to three times. I feel better about this plan, I found it very very frustrating pumping so often for literally a few drops at the time...

I also got my appointment for post-natal check with my doctor and that will happen on the 9th of February. Nice. It feels like the first step back to normal life (I'll be able to drive after that wohooo!). My wound has healed perfectly, I do have a bit of a bump just above the scar, it may take a little while to get back to flat (will it go back to flat?).

On the list of things to do there is the registration of Oliver's birth next week and application for his passport so that we can fly home!!

OB visit 34w2d

Wow, I've been posting a lot these days!

Just need to update on my OB visit this morning, all well, Dr. L is extremely happy with the scan and all the parameters (he said the blood flow is excellent!! wohoo!!). Mom was with me at this visit too, she absolutely loves seeing the scans.

My next appointment is in two more weeks, but with the Christmas holidays the Dr. is going away for a few days and has me booked in for the 1st of January at 10! He said to enjoy this last Christmas with the two of us alone eehehe.

At the next visit I'll also get a vaginal swab done to check for Strep B infections, I'll be 36w6d by then. We are nearly at the finishing line...

Elvis this morning did a little show for the doctor also, dancing around through the belly! It's as if in the last three days or so he's run out of space completely and he's constantly stretching. I love it!

Mike is flying back today, his talk went well, and we've only been texting each other so I'm dying to hear how it all went. Looking forward to going back to our home routine!

34 weeks down, 6 to go!

My little honeydew is definitely growing! I have to say after the initial MASSIVE appearance of stretch marks on my boobs I have not suffered any others on the belly...it is still too soon to tell I suppose, but I thought I make a note of it for now. Still having plenty of Braxton Hicks, getting up much more often for peeing and I'm eating plenty. My weight is probably a bit higher than the last week but as it's not officially a full Kg I'll keep it at +15kg for now! Following the advice of the midwife who did the pre-natal I've started drinking raspberry leaf tea (I had used it in the past for menstrual cramps). She assured us it won't start labour, but after 34 weeks it should help toning the uterus, so there you go!

You guys were asking about pictures, well I don't have any really, I didn't know but at this gestational age is much more difficult to get a proper shot...we saw the belly, the cord, the head etc but no real profile view to talk about. I do have 3 pics which show the fluid (the deepest pocket), the cord flow and the edge of the placenta, but they are not very interesting I'm afraid. I'll post them though just for the blog records!

Other interesting measurements were:

BPD 83.5 mm

HC 306.8 mm

AC 285.8 mm

FL 67.1 mm

Estimated foetal weight 2.2 Kg (4lb 13oz)

Doppler:

PI 0.83

RI 0.56

S/D 2.26

HB 134bpm

Do you know much about the numbers? They are all within ranges as far as I can tell (the femur is above average, while everything else is slightly below average) but I decided not to do too much research as I know I will obsess (yet again!).

Next visit is tomorrow with the OB. As Mike is away I didn't take a 34w photo yesterday (boohoo) so I'll be posting the next set on Sunday at 35w.

Attic is also coming along, two more weeks and we should move back in!! I'll post the series of pics then.

Finally I've to admit I've given up yoga... first it was the snow and then the icy roads, today I'm just thinking I may as well save the petrol...I really didn't like the teacher, I have only mentioned it once I think how I thought it was a waste of time, as it hasn't got any better unfortunately. I'm doing my Kegel exercises and I want to start on perineal massages soon, that'll have to do!

OB upate and MIL

The visit went very well. Due to the heavy snowfall a few people had cancelled their appointment so we had plenty of time with Dr. L. Elvis is growing well (belly measures 33 weeks), fluids all around look good but the placenta is still low. So we have scheduled a more accurate scan for the 10th of December, just before my next appointment with the OB on the 14th. Note that for both visit Mike won't be with me as he's off to a conference in Mexico, so my mum will come along instead. Urine sample and blood pressure checked out perfect which is great. We also chatted a bit about how things are going and so I told him that like he predicted I'm getting a bit nervous about the due date and vaginal delivery. Not for the pain of labour at all, but mostly about things that can go wrong (I know, same old me). I told him I have this image of the umbilical cord wrapped around the baby (which he then checked with the scan and the cord is nice were it should be with plenty of room and seemed to be going from his belly up into the placenta!) and that he may get oxygen deprived during birth. Again he said they will be monitoring the baby very closely during labour and intervene immediately if they think there is any sign of distress, but that all the options are open to me, that there is no rush in deciding as we can schedule a c-section at a very late notice (it would happen a week before the due date). Once again I was very reassured and happily went on my way. I so love the appointments being so close together!

So all was good. Until I got a call from Mike. I had not written about this as I was hoping to be able to write part 2 of MIL story when everything had settled down, but things have taken a turn for the worse unfortunately. MIL has been in hospital for the last 8 weeks (with a brief time off in the middle) for clots in her right leg. They have attempted several procedures to by-pass the clots and restore blood flow to the foot, but her veins and arteries are so compromised that there is no improvement in her circulation. This is such a painful condition she's on pain medication almost constantly. They evaluated the possibility to do a chemical block to the nerve so that she wouldn't feel pain and could exercise the leg a bit. As of Friday this was no longer an option as the nerve the would need to intervene on is too close to the kidney (she had a kidney transplant 20 years ago) and they could not risk it. Last night we were informed that they were considering amputating her leg towards the end of the week. This morning the situation must have looked different as Mike got the call from the consultant that they are going ahead with the surgery today. While this would be a dreaded solution to most people, MIL is looking forward to being pain free (it may give you an idea of how painful the leg is). I believe she's in surgery now. They couldn't tell where they would amputate, if below or above the knee until they are operating. Any thoughts you have to spare for her please do so, she is a fantastic woman and I want Elvis to spend plenty of time with her grandmother. I'll update when I have news.

32 weeks and lots of snow

Yesterday I turned the page on the book that brought me officially into the 8th month of pregnancy! Woohoo! Everything is great thankfully, the only thing I have to mention is that I'm getting cramps in my calves at night (it seems to be the right one mostly) and I started having very vivid dreams/borderline nightmares!! Last night I dreamt something like "28 days later" the movie...not sure what prompted it but sure when I woke up (heart pounding and Elvis kicking!) I had to pee and was afraid to go to the loo!! Yes yes silly I know, but in daylight all is good!

My weight is pretty much stable this week, sure with the scale I'm using we have to allow for a plus or minus a Kg, but I considered it still +14 as of yesterday.

I thought Elvis has somewhat a pattern in his movements but not quite. He used to be active around the time the alarm went off but this is not happening anymore (well in the last few days anyway) so I think he's active beforehand and after breakfast. I still panic a bit if I think he should be moving and he doesn't, but then he starts and there's no doubt he's happy! So I calm down again, until the next time...

Tomorrow I have the OB visit, I look forward to it, hopefully it'll all be well.

On Saturday we woke up to a white landscape, it snowed!! I love snow but like last year people panic a good bit and don't really enjoy it. It's very cold, like, unusually cold for this time of the year, it should last until friday which is also the LAST DAY of term!!!! Oh my God I'm soo counting, mainly so that we can come into work without the fear of not finding a car space LOL! Patches and The Dude are fascinated by the snow and spend ages looking outside the windows.

The attic is almost ready for the cosmetic work, windows are in, plasterboard too and I can't wait to see what it will look like at the end of the week! Like my friend Saige suggested, I may make a little slide show once it's done!

Oh and Hannah was asking if I was wearing maternity jeans in the photos and yes, definitely maternity!

That's it for now, I'll update again tomorrow.