Sunday, April 28, 2013

How it all went

Thank you thank you for your lovely comments! I'm sorry Mike didn't get to post further updates as he promised so now that I have some time I'm going to do it myself!

The c-section: I went to the hospital early with mom, while Mike was taking care of Oliver and bringing him to the creche. I was checked in and I knew there were 4 sections scheduled that morning but I thought I would have been last. That was not the case! Mike wasn't anywhere near the hospital when the nurse said "I can bring you up to the theatre now..." or dear...I tried to call Mike on his cell which wasn't under coverage (he was just parking) then texted him and went up with mom to the prep room. Mike called a few minutes later, he had parked and forgot the phone in the car, run back, saw the txt and panicked! He was running to the hospital at that very moment! He made it in the end, I thought it was actually quite funny, didn't get distressed and was very focussed on meeting the baby, hoping she would be healthy and that all will be just fine.
The c-section was a breeze, very calm and relaxed unlike of course my previous experience...Dr. W is truly wonderful. He went through the previous scar commenting how low it was (he said about 2cm lower than normal...odd as he did it!). As he pulled the baby out and above the curtain for me to see, he said "You are having a little lady!" what a surprise! She looked beautiful, wasn't crying (but she was obviously breathing) and just had this curious look...amazing. He then chatted away to me while baby was being checked by the paediatrician, saying it wasn't an easy delivery due to the position of the incision but they managed nonetheless. I think they had to use a forceps as our little girl had some bruising on her left eye and forehead.
Of course we had no name at all...or actually, we had her third name, Phoenix as per our tradition, but that wasn't enough! We had thought in the previous pregnancy that if it was a girl we would have called her Erin, but to me she just didn't look like an Erin and the name (while I absolutely love it) didn't seem to fit as her first name...Erin would be her second name so. It took us a couple of days before settling on Martina. I love Martina. She is the sweetest thing. I thought Oliver was an easy baby, but Martina tops it without a doubt. She is content all the time, cries if she's hungry, that's all.

Oliver: Oliver came to the hospital with Mike the day after Martina was born, I had a nice private room and thankfully visitors (though restricted to immediate family) were allowed. We took the approach of not making a fuss about the baby (she wasn't named at that stage) and just focussed on him till he took an interest in the baby (she was in the plastic transparent cot) and we followed his lead. He asked to touch the baby and we had no problem with it, then I asked him if he wanted to hold her and he was beside himself with happiness. This is one of the best pics of that day...look at his face! Very proud big brother!

Now that we are home, he is still very sweet, though we try and dedicate as much time to him as possible and this is made easy by Martina who is no fuss at all. Martina is in our room but in her cot and this doesn't seem to be a problem for him. He doesn't wake up at night when we are feeding her or changing her nappy etc which is great, but he is waking up very early and coming to the bed which is a killer as I may just have gone back to sleep after the feed...So the plan is that Mike is going to take care of him once he's up in the morning, hopefully he'll settle back into his normal sleeping pattern soon.

Martina: She is adorable. The feeding is a bit of a problem as like Oliver, she doesn't latch on...and this time I have a bit more milk, not much mind you (wishfully thinking it can still get better) but I do have it. And she is voracious. So I am back in the trenches of pumping, feeding her my milk, trying to latch her on with any device invented, giving her an additional bottle and settling her back in her cot (which is literally just putting her back down). In total this takes me over one hour. I can already tell we will be doing elimination communication with her very easily...she is very easy to read and already last night I got her to poo in the loo (well the sink effectively, sorry TMI!). She doesn't have a feeding pattern yet, can sleep between 2 to 4/5 hours and unfortunately for the moment the longest stretches are during the day! But I can't really complain. Having a toddler to mind though seriously adds to the fatigue and I can't thank my mom and Mike enough for ebing so helpful.

Emotions: It's definitely much better than the first time. Of course I didn't have a traumatic experience this time and I was nearly at the of the pregnancy. I did enjoy the pregnancy, can perfectly remember everything about it (you may remember after Oliver was born I had a total black out on the pregnancy experience) and loved Martina exactly like I love Oliver from the minute I saw her. I am also not worried about SIDS as much as I was with Oliver. All this helps. But of course there is a "but". I am addicted to hospitals and medical environments. Though I again went home after 3 days of hospital stay rather than the recommended 5 (once again I had no real need for pain management, felt well and up and about very quickly), I am mourning the fact that this is likely my last pregnancy ever, I won't get to interact with Dr. W anymore (you know the way your OB feels to you as the person that makes your longed for miracle a reality, brings the baby into the World and hands it to you, to me he has very much a god-like status), I won't get to experience one of the happiest things in my life which is the birth of a healthy baby. Then I think maybe just maybe we could have a third one, we still have 4 blasts after all...and then I think how difficult it would be not only economically but also practically to have three children...and then I think how people do manage and so on. So I don't know. Maybe this door is still open but it has to be for the right reasons while at the moment it seems to be for the egotistic wrong ones.

Well if you read this far, thank you, I'm going to try and pump some more!


  1. What an adorable pic! I love her name. I hope to get an easy one this time around, so I can better handle a toddler and newborn. Glad things are going so smoothly for you. :-)

  2. Welcome to the world, little Martina!!! She's so precious! Glad all went well and you had such a good experience in the operating theater! I've never heard of such feelings of medical longings, but it must be a good sign!
    Good luck with all the changes and transitions! I think you were very smart the way you introduced Oliver to the baby. Make sure to post more pictures soon! Big hugs, my friend! Xo

  3. So fantastic to read this, Fran! I feel like we are some kind of twins with such similar experiences. I haven't even gotten a post up yet about our Jack's arrival on April 3, but I feel like you could have written it - with the exception of our having a boy this time. Planned section so much more relaxing! Feeding issues again for me too, but I'm not nearly as neurotic about it this time. Overall, just so much easier and our E is great with "babyJack". Congratulations!!

  4. Oh Fran, I'm so happy for you that everything went south better for you this time! What wonderful news! She is just adorable, and I absolutely love the name. Beautiful!!! So glad to hear the transition for Oliver is going well too. That's huge! Good luck with improving Martina's latch. I'm sure she'll figure it out soon!

  5. All sounds well with you and your little Martina! May the next few weeks continue to go so well and may you all just relish being a family of 4.

    Much love

  6. What a wonderful name! It is just some *art* to Mina... :-)

    I am very happy for you and your easy baby. Looking back, I can say that the newbornhood was easy, compared to this teething, mobile, heading to toddlerhood phase.

    I can understand you completely on the 'not having any more babies' thing. We thought and thought and went back and forth and decided we are done. Rationally it is what is best for us. Emotionally, I am very sad. Oh well.

  7. Martina is gorgeous!!! And that picture of she and Oliver- perfect! So happy for you my friend; this post will leave me with smiles all day!

  8. The story of Martina's arrival couldn't be better! I loved it and am so glad it went smoothly for you. Her name is beautiful and the photo of Oliver holding her is incredible. He looks THRILLED (in a similar photo I have of Scout holding Peach at the hospital, Scout looks STUNNED). I know what you mean about being sad that you'll never be pregnant again (well, mayyyyybeeee). You'll figure out the right thing to do. For now, enjoy your beautiful family! Hugs to you, my friend.

  9. Nice to read the update and that everyone is getting on well.


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