My brave little soldier took the two shots this morning like a trouper. He cried a little but was fast asleep before I exit the doctor's office!
I want to thank you all for reassuring me that I'm not insane, it felt really nice reading your comments. When I talked to the doctor this morning, she didn't seem to think there was nothing out of the ordinary. Yes, maybe I better keep an eye that the anxiety is not escalating further but at this level is still normal. So I'm not sure what to do, her only recommendation was to "fight back" the dark thoughts with the rationality I have, to surround myself with positive people and to believe it will get better. Sounds simple.
On tuesday I also talked to my friend at the baby-massage class (which I totally love!) and I felt much better afterwards. She said it's possible that all the stress accumulated in the last two years with infertility first and the ectopics that followed may be coming down all at once now. Everyone kept saying to me all along how strong I was and where did I find the strength to keep going etc. I also wondered that myself as I'm no superwoman at all, so perhaps was just a coping mechanism then which I don't need now and all the insecurity is hitting at once. I think I need to re-find my solid ground though. I will go to see the psychologist I went to for a short while when I go back home next week. Just in case she has some other helpful tips to add to the doctor's. I'm optimistic I'll get over this, but I definitely felt very concerned I had myself into a loop since I got pregnant and not really coming out...it felt like a long time of anxiety!
Oh by the way...the Snuza arrived ehehe