Another day in my 2ww has gone by. I realised all of a sudden yesterday that the day I am supposed to test was actually the due date of my first ectopic pregnancy! How weird. I hardly think about due dates, I don't think it's healthy for me to do so and struggle to see the point in keeping the pain alive longer than it needs to be, so the realization that I actually knew it was a due date came to me as a bit of a shock. Funny how it took a few days before it came to mind. I want to try and be positive that it'll be a good day, strangely I am so distracted that I think I will handle quite well a BFN if that's what is going to be. The fact that I'm going on holiday the day after (to Italy, we have a wedding on the 22nd and then we are off to an island off the coast of Tuscany for a week!) never really worked out well with cycles, I was always thinking "oh, I'll bring the baby skiing while still in the belly" or "I'll relax by the swimming pool eating great-pregnancy-safe food" and sure enough it never happened. So who knows this time, I may be surprised! If not I'll enjoy the holidays to the fullest, can you imagine being in Tuscany and NOT drinking wine, cured ham and fresh cheese? Of course I'd give up even water if it means I get pregnant, but it's a comforting thought nonetheless!
Symptoms-wise the insomnia has set in. This is the absolutely worse part of the 2ww. I wake up between 4 and 4.30. I just have to go to the loo, by the time I'm back to bed I'm fully awake. Then Patches starts purring. This morning I decided I may as well make good use of this time and started listening to my super-duper MP3 player. I may have mentioned in that past that I have a CD for pre-transfer, post-transfer and 2ww relaxation tracks from Zita West, so there I was, imagining my baby growing inside me. Not sure I believe it really helps, but it's certainly no harm!