Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Signs

If I see a particular car today, then it's a good sign. If I see this other car on the other hand...

Do you ever play this game? Not necessarily with cars of course, that's my thing. I realise that in the 2ww I tend to become a tad superstitious. Not that I really believe it though, but I realise I play "the game" and look for signs from the Universe to talk to me in advance to see if I'm pregnant or not. This is of course because I learnt that your body is completely unreliable when it comes to the 2ww.

6dp5dt and no idea. This is a phrase I used as a post title when I did get pregnant the last time. I really have no idea (may be a good sign?). I think signs point mostly towards not pregnant though.
Here's a list of the signs so far.
It started badly at the clinic the day of the transfer. Bad sign.
They did not give me a pregnancy test. Good sign.
The Fav Doctor did the transfer. Can be both, she only did it once before and it was ectopic.
We have no real name for the penguin (ok, it's just "The personal penguin" from one of Oliver's books, which he calls Deng for some reason). Bad sign. It is very sweet though!


Urge to test early. Bad sign. (I will resist till 9dp5dt)
I played the number 8 ball online and it said "No" than "Yes" and all the shades in between. Irrelevant.
No cycle buddies as such. Irrelevant (I'm generally the Fertility Goddess for others).

Physical symptoms.
2 days of headache (4 and 5dp5dt). Bad sign.
Boobs not sore. Irrelevant.
Insomnia. Also irrelevant.
Cramps on and off. Irrelevant.
Tiredness. Irrelevant.
Heartburn. This is new, I'd class it irrelevant though.

So I really don't know. As I said many times, having Oliver makes this a completely different experience in any case. One thing we know is that we'd like to donate our embryos (if we have any left after adding one more child to the family) to a friend who may need them to build her family. One of the sweetest things Mike said was "I hope it works the first time so there will be more penguins left". This for me would also be one of the best reason why I wish it will work despite all the signs.

8 comments:

  1. I almost always do this, but with solitaire (or any other card game). "If I win fie times in a row, then X will happen", which is beyond stupid, because then I get ideas in my head that I shouldn't and I go back and to and fro and I make myself quite a spectacular basket case.
    And then I shake away all the silly and realise time has passed and I see what has happened in reality. Or not. Sometimes I do this for long(er) term goals as well. :-)
    Silly woman, deluding myself like this, I know, I know... But I do not rely on it, so at least there is THAT hope. :-)
    But I do hope uou get the very best of news soon.
    Fingers crossed.

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  2. I know, playing games.... I catch myself doing it, still.
    Very brave of you to not test early. I know I started ridiculously early, but i wanted to practice seeing a negative test so it wouldn't be a shock.
    It would be such a bonus if there were embryos left to donate to a friend. That is the sweetest idea!
    I'll look out for Penguin signs (although as a polar bear lady I may not be qualified! :-)

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  3. It is hard not to read too much or too little into the signs around you. In a few days you will no for sure. I am hoping for a happy outcome for you and will keep you in my thoughts.

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  4. I sort of think not having any idea as to whether it worked or not is a good sign. I can't explain why.

    Know that you and your personal penguin are in my thoughts!

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  5. Oh how I hate the 2WW and am soooo glad I will never have to do it again. I was a POAS fool by this time after my FET...but my DR. told me to be careful...sometimes the frozen guys can take awhile to really implant and get moving....and sure enough...I didn't get my positive until 2 days later than with my Fresh cycle...AHRG. I think 9dp5dt is a great time to test. AND...as the mom of a baby who is the result of selfless people who donated embryos back to our clinic...thank you so much. Just your willingness to do that in the event you have additional embryos is so awesome to hear.
    Kd

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  6. Fran, I'm so sorry I wasn't able to comment on your FET post! For some reason there are times that I am unable to access your blog page and the screen freezes. I cannot scroll the page down or up and cannot leave a comment. So I couldn't even READ about your FET!!! Today, finally, it allowed me to scroll (I wish I knew what the problem was).

    I'm so sorry the day of your FET didn't go smoothly or perfectly. I truly wish it had - just for your peace of mind - but I don't think any of will affect the outcome. Of course you were upset that Mike preferred to read the paper and rush off to see the boxing match and that the staff seemed more preoccupied by the match than caring for you. I'm so sorry. I hate boxing too, BTW (so violent). I would have been upset about all of it too.

    So now you are here, waiting for symptoms, feeling superstitious and hoping that precious little embryo is settling in as it should. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and hoping that you will see two pink lines when you decide to test. You deserve all good things, my friend!

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  7. Totally! I always look for signs that things will go on way or the other. This is of course in spite of the fact that I don't believe in signs!!! These two weeks are the worst. I hate the not knowing, and the mind is so powerful, it can play the worst kind of torture games on you. Hang in there!

    I love that you're hoping to donate your remaining embryos. Such a huge decision. We hope to do the same thing in the future. We've seen what can come out of these embryos (your little guy, my little girl). Why not make more? :)

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  8. Oh yes, the signs game..... The thing I always have to tell myself is that there is absolutely no way that whatever I think - whether it be positive, negative, wishful, irrational - has any effect on the outcome. Because it doesn't. So, hang in there!!

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Thank you so much for stopping by, your comments warm my heart!