I warn you, this post may be a bit confused(ing)!
In a chat with some friends of an Italian forum, we started expressing opinions on why people chose to adopt. A girl who has already adopted was adamant that it is foundamental to have overcome the grief of the lack of a biological child to be able to embrace adoption.
I am quite puzzled. I personally want to adopt no matter what. Of course I know that for some (many?) couple the possiblity to adopt a child is only explored when your own one doesn't come. But there are couple with children of their own wanting to adopt another one.
Am I seen differently because in fact it happens that we are infertile?
Apparently, some social workers want you to make a decision pretty quickly, it is either going to be IVF or adoption. I understand that if and when you are decleared suitable to adopt, all your energy must be focussed on getting the new chlild home and make him/her feel special, but is it wrong to keep pursuing the IVF route in the meantime?
Another girl on the same forum expressed her views and I suddently realised I felt the same way. She said she doesn't need to be called mum, but she needs to hug a child and give him/her all the love she's capable of.