I heard on the radio that statistically, today, is the most depressing day of the year. Something to do with the third monday of January. I'm not sure if this is valid only for Ireland (I can't believe there would be many depressed people in New Zeland in the middle of the summer!) but certainly it was not an easy/good day for me.
I gave my first lecture at 9 which was no problem at all. I actually was in way ahead of time as I didn't want to take any chances with the traffic. I had a nice plan for my working day ahead and it was even sunny outside.
And then I checked my emails.
A friend of mine, from my home-town university, lost her husband over the weekend. She is only 3 years older than me and so was he. I cannot even imagine the despair and pain she must be in.
They got together in school and eventually got married probably less than ten years ago. He had suffered from leukemia when he was a teenager but overcame it with no reoccurance. She married him knowing that they will never have children and she just loved him so. Unfortunately, a part from infertility, one of the rare side effects of the drugs was to cause lung damage and he fell within that ridiculous statistic. I didn't know anything about this until I met my friend when I went to Italy in November. She told me that unfortunately her DH wasn't well and was now constantly walking around with a bottle of oxygen and in the National waiting list for a lung transplant. As his condition deteriorated before the Summer, he was bumped up the list and they were constantly waiting for the phone to ring. She was very positive and optimistic, I told her about my MIL and her kidney transplant over 20 years ago and how that did save her life and she is still doing well. I wished her all the very best and although we do not email eachother much we know we are in each other's thoughts for one reason or another (work, common friends etc.). I saw her again at Christmas, no news but still very positive and looking forward to the future.
So when I got the email from one of my colleagues in Italy my heart just sunk. Apparently he contracted pneumonia and with such a weak body there was nothing they could do.
The funeral was today. I cannot think of anything else. I wrote her a card which I'll put in the post tomorrow, but what can you say when someone's life just crashes to the ground in a million pieces?
And suddenly all that I'm doing to have a baby seems just so unnecessary.