Update on Asherman's

Nearly running home to go to yoga but I had to update you all after your kind comments and support!

I called Dr. B and left a message to his secretary (who for some reason loves my name and every time is very happy to talk to me! Nice!) He called back in the afternoon from his mobile, I think he was driving or something, terrible reception!

Anyway, I told him I was worried about Asherman's and I wanted to know a bit more about what he found. He said he didn't find any evidence of Asherman's as my uterine cavity was perfectly opened, I had no adhesions linking the uterine walls to one another. He said you never know of course, he did find scar tissue after all, but with just one surgery (the D&C back in 2007) it would be really unlikely that it develops further.

Hemhem...remember... I'm the one with 2 ectopics also...but let's just not go there again.

Anyway, he didn't think I had reasons to be overly concerned, that he removed all the filamentous scarring he had seen and was very happy with the outcome.

I told him I was on the pill since last Sunday to get ready for the transfer in May, he said he would have not recommended for me to be on the pill as it may lead to unusual bleeding (yes, still spotting) but that if this is my clinic protocol he has no objection. He said no problem with the FET in May! I'm so relieved!

I know, I know, I always do this, it's in my nature, I have to worry about something!

Asherman's syndrome

Damn Dr. Google....

since I had the hysteroscopy and the chat afterwards with the doctor about the fact that he found what looked like scar tissue (no adhesions though, like filamentous scarring) I've of course done what everyone else would have done and started searching the net for how I could have had such a thing.

It turns out the condition has a scary name...Asherman's syndrome. This is normally connected to previous uterine surgery such as D&C after a miscarriage, polyps removal etc. In December 2007, before becoming officially an IF patient at my clinic, I had contacted a gyn here to see if he could check my tubes for patency. He said he could and that he would have performed an exploratory laparoscopy and a D&C which, he said, helped at times to "refresh" the lining and promote implantation. This sounded more than excessive to my Italian gyn (could he not simply do a HSG?) but sure I was living in Ireland, I had to go with the flow. After surgery, he told me I had mild endo and suggested medical menopause to which I said no and then contacted the clinic.

I never thought anymore about it, it had been a waste of time in my opinion but nothing more. Now I'm afraid it left me with this Asherman's gift.

I got so worried about this over yesterday and today that I will call Dr. B on monday and see if he can reassure me a bit...Nearly every Asherman's website states that the use of a laser to remove the scars is actually NOT recommended as the heat generated may worsen the situation. Of course he used laser because it's the safest option to minimise bleeding and uterine perforation, but in my case...Damn Dr. Google again.

Of course every website warns you to be weary of non-Asherman specialists to perform the surgery as they often lack the skills for a successful recovery....oh God....I have to ask him if at least he knows what it is!

Dr. B said to expect bleeding/spotting for a couple of weeks and the two weeks are up next tuesday. I had my period a week ago (I'm amazed that I could tell the difference) and I'm still spotting. I have also started the pill so that I could plan the FET and I'm now worried that in fact I should have been on oestrogen only following surgery to make sure the lining was thickening in a healthy manner. My pill is a monophasic one with oestrogen and progesterone, I hope it's ok.

Monday can't come fast enough, I have to know much more about my surgery, how extensive the scarring was (I have pics where I can see healthy tissue also and no bands, but it can be a close up) and were it was. If he thinks it's ok that I'm on the pill and the scheduled FET for May. I'll be seeing him on the 26th but I'm not clear what he will do (another hysteroscopy to check if everything healed properly? A chat and a good-luck?).

Girls, if any of you out there knows more, can you please email me or drop a message? I can't believe what I thought it was good news (yehay, I found the cause for failed uterine implantation) may turn into an even worse nightmare...

Hectic!

I'm quite behind in reading your updates my friends, I knew this was going to be a week from Hell in work, very long tiring days with zillions of things to do and run to and from. I can't wait for the weekend!

I booked my scans this morning, all bright and early! I should get the official schedule next week.

I also got a reply from the nice lady in the Adoption Board which basically said she couldn't do anything for me until the panel approved our application but she said she forwarded the email to the Social Work Section and that they will reply to my email also. I emailed her back to let her know that I appreciate her support but that I won't hold my breath for the SWS to get back to me as they still have not replied to the email she forwarded on to them for us on the 2nd of December 2009!!

Tomorrow is a big day for my blog friend BB. Her twins will be born! We were cycle buddies last summer, same day ER, same day ET. She is truly amazing, and touched my heart by sending me a beautiful charm. Thank you BB and you'll be an amazing mum, I have everything crossed!

Attic update: our application has been validated and now they have until the 11th of May to make a decision. Basically just after my transfer!! Let's hope at least one thing will go to plan, we can't be too greedy...

Yoga and Goddess Gathering: on tuesday night I went to this Goddess gathering organised by my Yoga teacher. It was really great!! Chanting and connecting with the various chakra, I felt so relaxed afterwards and in tune. Have you ever heard of such a thing as the Goddess gathering? It was the first time for me, it is a bit hippy stile in fairness but I enjoyed it.

Finally, some of you asked me why my clinic doesn't do FET on natural cycles. Well, the true answer is that they like you to be in line with their scheduling and definitely don't want to chance that you may need to go in at weekends. They also say that they got better results on medicated cycles than natural ones but this one to me is more like the "official" version...and by the way, would you not want to try this Viagra at least once? And on prescription after all!!

FET.Scheduled. Bring-It-On!

This morning I booked my follow-up appointment with Dr. B for the 26th of April (about 6 weeks after the hysteroscopy). It so happens that the 26th is also the day of the viva of my second PhD student so I had to make sure I was the first patient to be seen in the morning and agree with the examiner that the viva will start around 11 am.

Next I left a message for the nurse in the clinic just to inform her that I was already on the pill and hoping to get soon dates for my FET for May. I got a call back and we agreed on a tentative transfer for the 7th of May woohoo! They don't do natural FET so it'll have to be a medicated one.

Here's the schedule:

Last pill on the 12th of April (only 3 weeks!!!)

Suprefact starting on the 8th of April.

Scans: 19th, 26th (damn!) and 30th of April.

In tune with my meditation exercises I'll be living this new journey in the now and let this FET just be.

I then phoned Mike to tell him we had dates from the clinic and after the few seconds of actually understanding what I was talking about, his main question was "That's fantastic! When will you start the Viagra?" Ahh bless him!

And finally a great news today, do you remember my friend C? The one who was going also through IVF at the time of my ectopic last year? Well, after a failed cycle, she got today a BFP after a FET!! This is amazing news given that she used her own eggs and she's no spring chicken at 45!!! Well done C, please God it'll all go well for you my friend.

One final thing I did today: I emailed the Adoption Board saying that they should really amend the time-frame they give to potential adoptive parents at the preliminary meeting on when things are happening. That it was disgraceful (ok, I didn't use such a strong word, I still need them to process our damn documents!) that we were told 4-6 month to get a waiting list number and we are hitting 10 with no sign of it. We'll see if the social workers have the decency to reply. I doubt it though. And now a deep breath and....out again ..... I can't do anything about this, might just as well let it go and not let it bother me any longer.

ICLW welcome

It's that time again! Wow, time flies really.

So my story is all summarised on the left hand-side, I did this very recently and I think it's really handy to get to know people quickly and see if we have something in common.

Today it's also the first day of Spring, so happy Spring to all those in the Northern Hemisphere! I can't wait for the long bright evenings.

Where are we at...let's see, I got my period yesterday so I'm back on the pill whoohoo! I had called the clinic on Friday to schedule my FET (stay tune for the Viagra side effect!) and I'll be getting my dates probably tomorrow or tuesday, the plan is to go ahead with the transfer at the very beginning of May. After the hysteroscopy I have to have 6 weeks of recovery according to Dr. B, but it's actually 4 everywhere else in the Web-World so given that I don't have to stim I'll go with the 6 weeks max before the transfer. Given that we have only 1 blast (day6) frozen and that the chance of it not surviving the thaw are real, I kind of feel I want to move on quickly. We have also planned hour holidays and we are leaving on the 20th of May so I want to have the FET over by then!

For the new readers, we are also pursuing adoption and we are reaching 10 month in April since we sent all our documents and we have heard nothing. The problem with that is that we have been told we should hear shortly and at that point we'll be on a waiting list for a prep course (sometime between 12 and 18 month away). 6 months before the course starts we'll have to stop any IVF treatment. So, you see, if this FET fails, I want to make sure I have the time for another fresh cycle!

Finally, we brought Patches to the vet this morning for a check up after he finished the antibiotics, he got a final injection to cover for the next 2 weeks and the idea is to check for polyps in his throat when he'll get neutered in a few weeks time. It may still be the cause for the heavy breathing!

Happy ICLW everyone, looking forward to making new friends!

Happy Anniversary! **Update: Patches is home!**

Happy St. Patrick's Day to everyone else out there and also Happy Anniversary to Mike and I! This is our third anniversary and three years ago we were in Tuscany, blessed with a sunny day in the middle of March (it actually snowed two days later!) surrounded by friends and family having a great time. I'll post a picture or two soon.

We are still having a great time despite the difficulties we have been through, we are together and supporting each other, it doesn't actually feel that three years have passed but I suppose I still feel like I'm 25 inside so...I just have to acknowledge I'm a good bit older and happily married for a while now!

On other fronts, we phone the vet this morning and Patches is very alert, ate his food through the night and they'll call us later with more medical info (and we'll be visiting in the afternoon anyway) come on Patches, we and the Dude want you back home!!

Update:

While we were out shopping, the vet called that Patches temperature was still normal and that they were happy to send him home with some medications!! So we went straight to pick him up and The Dude was indeed very happy despite the funny smell Patches had. He's much better, but still a bit tired, so he snuggled on the couch with Mike all afternoon, and The Dude was quite comfortable on my laps for the first time ever!!

Reasons to be optimistic

Thank you so much for being there for me all the time.

Last night a basically dragged myself to bed before 10 pm. I was wrecked. The vet had called us saying that Patches temperature was normal and that we just had to wait and see.

This morning I was better, I slept well so that's always a good medicine. Mike drove me to the clinic at 7.30, I was checked in, Mike went home and promised to let me know as soon as he had phoned the vet. The initial report was good, meaning that Mike spoke with the nurse around 8.45 and she was the same who admitted Patches yesterday, so although the vet wasn't there yet and she didn't check his temp, she thought he was a bit better than yesterday. And this was music to my ears as I walked to the theatre.

When I woke up, I was in no pain at all, but I remember the nurse giving me painkillers of various kind, so I thought to myself 'Dr. B must have found something or there would be no need of meds'. I slept for a good while, and then I noticed I had a pad which was quite stained. Another hint that something more than a general look had gone on down there. Dr. B came to talk to me just before I was sent home and he showed me pictures he took which showed a lot of scar tissue on that back wall of the uterus!! There is no explanation why I had it he said, it's like a fibroid it can just grow and definitely this would have interfered with implantation!! He removed all the scarred tissue and I'm as clean as a whistle! ehehe

Then I basically slept all day and Mike went to visit Patches at the vet. His temperature is still normal, he's eating, drinking, peeing and pooing which are all good things. Still has this gagging reflex but today he was much more alert. I suppose the fact that he's not boiling with fever helps a lot. The breathing is still a bit laboured and they think there's still fluids in the lungs. We have to wait and see of course, it's still a long road and they'll keep him in until he has fully recovered. So we are delighted and trying to be optimistic!

The Dude is becoming more and more affectionate, I suppose he has only us now so we have to be enough for him. The big step is that he jumped on Mike's lap today! So again we are hopeful that with time he'll fully settle.

Patches

Thank you all for you nice comments, I need them.

Patches this morning was not better at all, in fact he was worse. I had two separate nightmares in an almost sleepless night in which we had to put him to sleep. I was in a terrible state this morning.

I brought him in, they took him in and then they phoned us saying his temperature was very high (105.8 which didn't mean much to me until I check the conversion in °C) and that they had him on a cooling system and under oxygen. They wanted to test for FIV (feline version of HIV) and FeLV (a fatal leukemia virus) of course we gave permission and thankfully they were both negative.

The vet thinks it may be either pneumonia (best case scenario) of FIP (feline infectious peritonitis, worse case scenario, fatal). he has fluids in his lungs which makes it very difficult for him to breathe. This morning they gave Patches two different antibiotics, steroids, fluids and something to help him getting rid of the fluids in the lungs. This afternoon his temperature was down to 101.6 (apparently almost normal in cats), had a bit to eat and drink (but he has this gagging reflex, the poor thing, he manages to keep it down though), breathing was much much better and had started to purr again. I went to the vet around 12 (I was useless in work anyway) the nurse was really nice, but I couldn't see him then, she told me about the pneumonia then and said to come around 3 or 4 and I could stay with him a while. So I did. He looks so so miserable and yet he's better than this morning, can you imagine...but I know it could be just a temporary reaction to the steroids as the vet said.

I am totally wrecked, can't eat much myself, my stomach is shut and The Dude at home is looking around behind doors and corners making that trilling sound he does when he wants Patches to come and play. He peed outside the litter box, very unusual for him and clear sign of distress.

And tomorrow I'm going in for my hysteroscopy.

Back!

I'm back from the fab weekend, it was truly relaxing and I had a great time with my best friend P.

This morning Mike texted me that Patches had been a bit off form yesterday but was better today. Ok...I thought, the booster may have upset him a bit. But guys, when I arrived home Patches was again breathing with great difficulty, in through the mouth and out through a very blocked nose, very lethargic and weak. Poor Patches...obviously Mike didn't want to have me worrying during my two days in London and didn't say anything on saturday.

He has not eaten or drunk much at all since early this morning so we boiled some chicken, blended it and force fed him with a syringe a little bit but I think I'm bringing him back to the vet tomorrow...I promise I'll post more pictures very soon, I'll be home tomorrow afternoon and then tuesday (hysteroscopy day!) and wednesday (Paddy's Day and third anniversary!) so I'll definitely do it then, just a recent one now to show you how they sleep!

Attic, Adoption and Kittens

Something is moving right along and something else is at a stand still...

Attic: Planning application is in! We need to wait 5 weeks before we know if someone has complained (hopefully not!) and then we should hear from the planning office and how they rule on our proposal! Right on target, we absolutely love our architect.

Adoption: You may recall that 3 weeks ago, right after my BFN, I got a surprise call from the Adoption Board, Miss L needed some extra info and said she would write up a quick report and then we should be ready to be put on the waiting list. She added to call if I didn't hear anything within 3 weeks. So, of course I hadn't. I called this morning, left a message, she called back and said that now our application was with the medical board that had to check MIL medical history and then move us to the the final board (I think that one must be right beside God....it seems so difficult to get to that level...). Also whoever had to look at our application is off sick this week, so it'll be next week at the earliest....And suddenly it all sounded like old music. Not holding my breath to be honest with you, I think now we'll have plenty of time to do two ICSI if we have to. This thing that we may be on a prep course within a year looks more and more like one of those lies they tell terminal patients (you'll get better soon). So not in great mood about this as you can imagine. L was really nice, she said to call again in a few weeks if we still have no news. Yeah, right.

Kittens: They are both very very well, and inseparable. They got they second vaccination this evening and although they didn't enjoy it it wasn't much of drama!

My acupuncture went very well, I feel much better and yoga also was great. So this is my news! Can't wait for the weekend and the London retreat!!

The next step and back to acupuncture

I was waiting to post until I had some news on when this hysteroscopy was going to happen. To cut a long story short there was some break down in communication (and faxing!) between my clinic and Dr. B who'll be performing the procedure. His secretary was really lovely and proactive though, so she dealt directly with my clinic and called me a little while ago to confirm that they now have the referral, that Dr. B will contact me later today to explain what will happen and that yes the procedure is confirmed for the 16th of March! Next tuesday!! The day before our anniversary which happens to be St. Patrick's Day and as such is holiday in Ireland! I'm planning of taking a long weekend and chill out!

Thanks so much for all your comments on my headaches and Patches. I'm glad to report that Patches is back to his normal self (better in fact!) and that The Dude, although still very very shy, doesn't run away any more if you go near him. Still we cannot pick him up, but we are confident this may change sometime in the future.

My headaches come and go, I don't have to take painkillers though which means it's really not that strong, I do sleep very well, I don't wake up with a headache but I feel I'm "blocked" in my sinus and the left ear. So I now think it's a combination of head-cold, stress from overwork, and neck stiffness! I took matter into my hands and called my acu practitioner and I'm going to see her this evening. She didn't know of my latest ectopic and my last failed ICSI and she was really really nice. I look forward to a relaxing session!

Update: Dr. B just called! So he'll perform the procedure under mild anaesthetic so that if he finds something like a polyp or scar tissue he'll be able to remove it there and then! My super long weekend just became a reality and I have the Spa on Saturday to chill out even more!

Patches drama and other updates

I haven't posted anything in almost a week, I've been so busy in work...thank God we now have two weeks break...

We had a real scare with Patches (the cuddly kitten). On tuesday night I thought he wasn't breathing properly, like he had his nosed closed and his "voice" was strange too. But he ate dinner, used the litter box, played with The Dude etc. On wednesday morning still seemed ok but by the time I came home in the evening, he was definitely sick. Breathing was much worse, he didn't eat at all (as if he couldn't) and was very lethargic. The Dude was frantic, he knew there was something wrong, he didn't even attempt to play with Patches but wanted to be near him all the time. At one point I actually thought Patches was dying. On thursday morning he was still alive but in no better shape. Mike brought the two of them to the vet and we waited for news. He seems to have a viral respiratory tract infection, no fever but swollen glands. The vet gave him an injection of antibiotic and one of anti-inflammatory for precaution and said to go back in on Monday if he didn't improve (but she was optimistic). In the evening he was already much better, had dinned, played with The Dude and come on our laps for cuddles. the breathing was also much better. This morning he was up already, eager to have his food, but he's still without voice....it breaks your heart actually, you see that he's opening his mouth to meow and no sound comes out! I am a bit more hopeful now that he will recover, the vet thinks he's been incubating this virus since before we got him from the shelter (very common occurrence, and you know it may happen, but when it does...you are already so so attached that you feel physical pain at the thought of losing the kitten). The Dude should be fine, he's a bit older and his immune-system is stronger.

Attic update: we got the official go-head from the developers and the architect will submit the planing application early next week!! Very excited about this of course!

IF update: I had contacted the doctor recommended by the clinic for the hysteroscopy to see when she could fit me in. Well, she's booked up until the middle of April!! Come on...we are talking private patient here and still is 6 weeks waiting time?? No way. I called the clinic and eventually I emailed the Super Doctor who was away this week, he emailed back suggesting someone else and all going well I should be able to get the exam done in the middle of March! That's the timeline I'm talking about!

I'm having frequent headaches which have made me paranoid that I have a brain tumour...I know I know, but some of you can understand....