I had another sleepless night, I fell asleep on the couch around 9.30, woke up for the PIO and estrogen and went straight to bed. I still woke up wide awake 5 hours later, that seems to be the sleep-span I get these days. And so being alone with your mind for 3 to 4 hours a night doesn't do me any good. You can imagine all the various scenario I played in my head and what we'll do next.
Is it time to give up? Will we try again? Is surrogacy really an option? Shall we just get a dog?
Anyway, you may be right that I'm protecting myself at the moment, so that I want be too upset tomorrow if the test is negative. I know already the clinic will tell me that the test day is not until the 20th, but come on...tomorrow is 9dp5dt or 14DPO if it's negative that's it. I don't want to spend another 260 euro on an intralipid (which by the way, I thought I should have done last friday, but this is another story), I'll save it for the next step, whatever that will be.
Again thank you for your continuous support, this community is a blessing.