I have had enough. Since I started this nightmare of IVF last year I gained 6 kilos (13.2 lb for my American friends!). I know, I feel it and I'm certainly not proud of it. in total it's a little over 10% of my weight. Considering that I eat very little it has to be blamed on the hormones. Some days I tell myself "it'll be worth it" but most days I'm saying "is it really worth it?"
My mum passed a few comments while here on holidays on the fact that I have to go for walks (it's fecking bloody melting hot!) or I won't "consume the fat", my sister also noted that I am a bit "swallen". Ok I get it you know? i would like to see you all in my place and see how good you are at keeping your perfect figure. I am conscious of my body, I've always been. i've done sports (all kind) since and actually before I could walk. Lately I've done much less, I got older and obviously there is only so much legacy you can count on. But I don't know how to deal with this now. Nothing I do seem to make a difference, I have to eat while stimming or the follicles won't grow, the pill is just a devil for fluid retention but I only have a few more days to go and it'll be over. I'm absolutely dreading the fact that I'll be on cortisone this time around too. I said to Mike the other night that I won't be taking any more drugs after this cycle. So either we stop altogether or we'll look for a clinic that pays more attention to Nature itself, doesn't put me on the pill just to time me right with their calendar, and possibly considers IVF/ICSI on a natural cycle. I am so low today. We're going to the hills for a few days and back to Dublin on monday, so no internet for a while. I'll miss you all.