I think it's like a jinx. As soon as I say the spotting is over, there it comes again. Last night I had an "episode". In fairness it was only one spot on the knickers and it looked old and not threatening. Nothing since. But I was so so down. I started telling Mike and my mam that this looks exactly like the last time, spotting on and off, and then the pain will come in a few days and it'll be another ectopic. Mam kept saying not to be silly, that the HCG are so much higher, that they did see a gestational sac and that all these may be completely normal. Mike shows the same confidence.
Don't get me wrong, I would go to the Moon and back as a punishment for being so negative should I be wrong. I so hope I'm wrong and tell everyone around me two million times "you told me so".
My dreams that usually somewhat meaningful are peaceful these days, even last night. So maybe there is a part of me who is a little more optimistic. Waiting is strange. I don't want to do more HCG tests, I don't want to go in for an early scan, I don't want to not be pregnant anymore and so I wait.
Mam went back today but she would have stayed longer. I have to text her mornings and evenings with an update. Meanwhile I rest as much as possible. Yesterday we went for a long walk and mam felt so guilty thinking that maybe that brought the spotting along. But we went in the morning and I had nothing at all until 9 in the evening, this is why I think it had nothing to do with it.
Anyway, it's only a matter of days and we'll get through this, I know.