Today I feel a bit fearful...I've made it to 9dp5dt which would be 14DPO and I still have two days to go before testing. I'm worried that all my positivity this time around will come back to bite me right in the ass...I'm worried that I'll start bleeding before testing (that'll break my heart no end) and overall I'm worried it hasn't worked. I had a good night sleep last night, actually I couldn't get out of bed this morning and I'm still very tired, I could go back to bed right now in fact.
This evening I'll buy a dual pack of HPT and then we have them in the house...two more sleeps...saturday is coming so fast and I kind of don't want it to happen, I want to stay in this limbo of not knowing and keep dreaming about these two beautiful babies we'll have. I have this vivid image of two cots in our bedroom and I don't want to wake up from this dream.
Before testing on saturday we'll have to chat about what we'll do if it's BFN. We just have to have the conversation, I know I have to have a back up plan. Right now I'm thinking we'll go for a proper review with the doctor (not phone review, a face to face one) and take it from there. If it hasn't worked out maybe there's some issues with our embryos...maybe we should look into embryo adoption (my eggs seem to be fine, Mike's swimmers a part from being a bt slow and not too many look normal). I have lots of thoughts in my head right now and they are confusing me.
On the plus side, we are going to a fancy dress party on saturday night and I haven't picked a costume yet. So I'll browse the web now to see if something inspires me and possibly distracts me a bit too.